Memorable moments: The Newlands dilemma

During my twenties, I shared a house in Newlands, Cape Town, with three housemates. Among them was Dane—a really lovely, generally friendly person who also possessed a fierce temper if provoked. Her ultimate trigger was simple: anyone touching her food without asking.

One afternoon, I found myself alone in the kitchen making a sandwich. I assembled the ingredients, only to realize with disappointment that I was completely out of lettuce. Scanning the fridge, my eyes landed on Dane’s shelf. There, sitting inside a pristine Tupperware container, was a large, crisp head of lettuce.

She’ll never notice a single leaf, I thought, letting hunger override my better judgment.

I surreptitiously cracked open the lid and began peeling a piece away. Suddenly, I stopped. The leaf wasn't just textured—it was alive. The entire thing was wriggling with a miniature army of worms. Feeling a wave of disgust, I put it back, snapped the lid shut, and settled for a leaf-free sandwich.

The real complication, however, arrived the following day.

I walked into the lounge to find Dane happily relaxing on the couch, halfway through eating a massive sandwich of her own. To my horror, a large piece of lettuce was protruding from the crusts. I stood there, completely convinced I could see the edges of the green leaf subtly moving.

I wanted to tell her, but the calculus of the situation was brutal. If I spoke up, she would instantly realize I had been into her private Tupperware. The fierce Newlands temper would be unleashed on me.

Feeling extremely guilty, I chose to stay quiet. I left her to finish her meal in blissful, oblivious peace, keeping the secret of the kitchen fridge entirely to myself.

Memorable moments: The orthodontic awakening

When I was thirteen, I went through the standard teenage rite of passage: getting orthodontic braces. Periodically, I had to visit the clinic to have them tightened. For most teenagers, this is a dreaded chore, notorious for causing days of dull ache and intense discomfort.

Naturally, my parents were utterly baffled by my reaction to these appointments. Instead of dreading them, I always got incredibly excited. I counted down the days, practically leaping into the car when it was time to go. They probably thought they had raised the most resilient, stoic teenager in South Africa.

They wouldn't have been surprised if they had known the truth.

My mum would drop me off outside the clinic, and I would head upstairs with an uncharacteristic spring in my step. The magic began the moment the orthodontic nurse came to fetch me from the waiting room. She was a gorgeous, friendly blonde who always made a point of asking me how school was going, treating me with a warmth that completely disarmed my thirteen-year-old self.

The highlight, however, was the actual procedure. I would lie back in the chair, and she would lean closely over me with her tightening tool to adjust the wires, her ample bosom just inches from my dazzled gaze. For a teenager right at the precipice of waking up to the world of romance and attraction, having this lovely woman so close  was absolute heaven.

To her, it was just a routine, innocent Tuesday morning at the office. To me, it was a profound, thrilling introduction to the opposite sex. The physical discomfort of the tightening didn't matter at all; the scenery more than made up for it. It remains one of my funniest memories of growing up—a time when a painful dental adjustment somehow became the most anticipated event on my social calendar.

Stories from my life

"A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it."  Fred Allen

I've been having so much fun remembering and writing the stories from my life and some of the stories of the people I love.  Lots more stories to come. When my memory gets going, there seems to be an endless supply!

Stories by theme

• Funny
• Embarrassing
• Inspiring
• Insights
• Disgusting
• School
• Teachers
• University
• Work
• Travel
• Flights
• Sport
• Spirituality
• Music
• Camping
• Hiking
• Pets
• Love
• Romance
• Friendship
• Relationships
• Sex
• Nudity
• Food
• Medical
• Pranks
• Nicknames

Stories by life stage

• Childhood
• School years
• University years
• Old Mutual years
• Life at Willow Road
• London years
• Cambridge years
• Life at King Street

People involved

• Family
• Mum
• Mike
• Dad
• Jo
• Gran
• Gramps
• Granny & Grandpa
• Ally
• Mack
• Friends
• Russell
• Ivor
• Chrisel
• Oliver
• Housemates
• Teachers

⬇︎ Keep scrolling for all posts tagged as “Story”

Memorable moments: The voice of the reef

In 2005, I traveled to Dahab in Egypt to complete a scuba diving course in the Red Sea. It was an extraordinary environment, but the true highlight arrived on the second day of our training when our group descended to a depth of twenty metres.

The coral reef was absolutely spectacular—a true wonderland of vibrant color and marine life. As we glided through the water, I was overcome by a profound sense of wonder and peace. I felt entirely present, experiencing a transcendent, spiritual moment of feeling completely at one with everything around me.

When I practice meditation at home, I often use a soft, humming "om" to anchor myself firmly in the present moment. Wrapped in the silence of the deep sea and filled with a sudden desire to express that connection, I let out a gentle, low "om" into my regulator as we swam alongside the reef.

After thirty minutes of exploring, our group finally ascended and exited the water. The moment we pulled off our masks, one of the girls from our group turned to the rest of us with wide, amazed eyes.

"My God," she gasped, "did you hear the coral humming?! I've never heard anything like it in my life!!"

I froze, caught in a wave of sudden embarrassment, and decided it was best to say absolutely nothing. To this very day, she is likely out there somewhere in the world, completely convinced that the coral reefs of the Red Sea sing a beautiful, spiritual song to those who dive deep enough to listen.

Memorable moments: The Dingle anchor

In 1997, Ally and I spent two wonderful weeks exploring Ireland by car. We fell completely in love with the pub culture—the live music, the rich Irish stew, and of course, Irish coffee, which I’m convinced contains all four essential food groups: fat, sugar, alcohol, and caffeine. But most of all, I loved the Guinness.

One evening, we wandered into a cozy little pub in the town of Dingle. I stepped up to the bar and ordered a pint of the black stuff. While the bartender was performing the legendary, slow Irish pour to let the head settle, I decided to quickly slip away to the loo.

When I came back out, I immediately spotted a beautiful, freshly poured pint of Guinness sitting right there on the counter. Perfect timing, I thought. I reached out, wrapped my hand around the glass, and went to lift it to my lips.

It didn't move. It was stuck fast to the bar.

Confused, I gripped it a little tighter and gave it a proper tug. Still, it refused to budge. By this time, a few of the local patrons had noticed my silent wrestling match with the glassware and burst out laughing.

It turns out I was trying to drink a plastic marketing promotion that had been permanently glued to the counter. My actual, liquid pint was waiting for me completely untouched on a different section of the bar. It was highly embarrassing, but at least I provided the Dingle locals with some free entertainment to go with their evening drinks.

Memorable moments: A bright misconception

On our flight back from Zululand to Cape Town, a thick cloud of fearful anticipation hung over the trip. We had heard reports of a massive storm hitting the Cape, and we were braced for a wild, bumpy landing that would be a world away from the 34-degree sunshine we had left behind in Durban.

About thirty minutes before our scheduled arrival, I looked out the cabin window and saw nothing but brilliant, golden light. Relieved and confused, I turned to Antony and my sister, Jo.

"Wow, it's still sunny!" I exclaimed. "I would have thought it would be getting dark and stormy by now."

Antony looked at me with a mix of amusement and pity. "Yes, Graeme," he said gently, "that's probably because we are still above the clouds."

Sure enough, as the pilot began our descent and we dipped below that white, fluffy floor, the world transformed. The bright gold vanished, replaced by an ominous, dark grey. We landed safely in the end, but I left the plane with a newfound appreciation for the fact that just because you can see the sun doesn't mean the storm isn't waiting for you just a few thousand feet below.

Memorable moments: The shrubbery vault and the digital near-miss

I seem to have the luck of the Gods when it comes to robberies—a strange, recurring pattern where I lose everything, only for the universe to hand it back before the day is out.

In the early 90s, while living in Cape Town, I returned from university to find my house had been cleaned out. My TV, DVD player, and an assortment of other belongings had vanished. Burglary was common enough in Cape Town that I felt a weary sense of resignation as I called the police. When they arrived, I walked to the front gate to greet them. As I stood there, I noticed something odd poking out from behind a large bush in my garden. I investigated and, voila, there was all my stolen gear, neatly stashed behind the shrubbery. The robbers had clearly hidden it there for a quick pickup later, and my arrival had spooked them just in time.

Fast forward to 2010. I was asleep in bed when my dog, Mack, started barking. Half-asleep, I told him to hush and drifted back off. When I finally woke up, I was met with horror: my laptop was gone, along with a Tupperware container full of coins.

I was devastated. It wasn't just the hardware; I had spent many hours on an assignment for my English teaching course, and my entire collection of digital photos was on that machine. I felt that cold, hollow pit in my stomach that comes with losing irreplaceable history.

But then, I spotted a small black shape sticking out from under the desk.

The burglars—likely teenagers looking for quick cash—had unceremoniously yanked the cables and discarded my external hard drive. To them, it was just a plastic box; to me, it was my entire life’s work and every memory I’d captured. I had lost the shell, but the "soul" of my data had been left behind.

Memorable moments: Rushing to relax

A couple of years back, I signed up for a Buddhist meditation class. The goal was simple, yet profound: learn how to let all earthly cares fall away and finally experience true bliss.

One day, I found myself running a few minutes late. To make matters worse, one of the traffic lights on my route was playing up, causing a frustrating delay. Before I knew it, I was swearing at the dashboard and driving far too fast, my heart racing as I maneuvered through traffic to make it to the retreat on time.

Suddenly, the great irony of the situation hit me like a physical weight.

Here I was, getting myself into a frantic sweat and driving like a maniac, all so I could reach a building where I would be taught how to remain calm. I was sacrificing my peace of mind in a desperate attempt to go "learn" peace of mind.

In that moment of realization, I took a long, deep breath. I decided to become completely mindful of the present, letting go of the deadline and intentionally slowing right down. My state of being shifted instantly from panic to presence.

Then, something miraculous happened. From that point forward, every single traffic light between me and the retreat turned green. The congestion seemed to simply melt away, and I glided through the streets with effortless ease. Despite my earlier delay and my new, slower pace, I pulled into the retreat with ten minutes to spare.

It was a powerful metaphor for life: the harder we push against the world in a state of resistance, the more it pushes back. The moment we find the "bliss" within ourselves first, the world outside seems to rearrange itself to match.

Memorable moments: The Cradle Mountain cookbook

In 2015, I went on a road trip to Tasmania with a group of friends. It was a trip defined by incredible landscapes and some of the best hiking in the country, but the moment that stuck with me most happened far away from the trailheads.

We had stopped off at the Cradle Mountain gift shop, browsing through the usual souvenirs, when I stumbled upon a book that stopped me in my tracks. It was a cookbook entirely dedicated to the culinary preparation of fresh "road krill."

Tasmania is famous for its abundant wildlife, but that also means a tragic number of marsupials end up as casualties on the road. This book took that reality to its most extreme, "redneck" conclusion. It featured full-color recipes for dishes that sounded like they belonged in a dark-comedy fever dream: Wombat Soufflé and Roast Rack of Kangaroo.

But the detail that truly killed me was the suggestion for presentation. The author recommended that, for the ultimate local touch, one should use echidna quills as kebab spikes.

Whether the book was a genuine guide to bush survival or a brilliant piece of performance art designed to mess with tourists, I couldn't say. But as I stood there in the shadow of one of Australia's most beautiful mountains, looking at a recipe for a marsupial soufflé, I realized that Tasmania doesn't just embrace its "out-there" reputation—it marinades it and serves it on a spike.

Memorable moments: Love, sweet love, and a little squirt of soap

I live right next to Brennan Park in Waverton, which is a beautiful stretch of green, but its true crowning glory isn’t the trees or the harbor views—it’s the toilet.

When friends from overseas visit, I don’t just take them to the Opera House; I take them on a formal tour of the public amenities. It is a masterclass in automated hospitality. You walk in, and the door glides shut with a soft, futuristic click. Then, a warm, friendly voice fills the small space: "Welcome and enjoy your experience here!"

Before you can even process the invitation to "enjoy" a public restroom, the soundtrack begins. It doesn't just play elevator music; it plays the classics, including the theme of "What the World Needs Now Is Love, Sweet Love." There you are, in a public park in Sydney, experiencing a moment of profound, melodic encouragement in the most unlikely of settings.

When the "experience" is complete, the voice returns with a gentle reminder: "Thank you for using me. Please wash your hands." It then punctuates the request by dispensing a perfect, polite little squirt of soap.

I love Brennan Park, but I love that toilet even more. It is a rare and wonderful thing to find a piece of technology that seems genuinely invested in your well-being. In a world that can often feel cold and mechanical, this little booth stands as a beacon of programmed sincerity—offering music, hygiene, and a small, automated reminder that what the world really needs is a little more care and a clean set of hands.

Memorable moments: The longest wait

A friend of mine once shared a story from a solo trip to Thailand that serves as a cautionary tale about the perils of travel-induced optimism. He had gone for a massage and, finding the masseuse quite attractive, soon found himself in a state of unmistakable physical arousal.

The woman looked down, looked back at him, and asked a direct, three-word question: "You want wank?"

Being single and on holiday in a far-flung land, he didn't take long to weigh his options. He figured, “Why not? I’m miles from home, I’m unattached—let's go with the flow.” He gave her a nod of consent.

She smiled and immediately left the room. My friend lay there, his heart racing with anticipation, assuming she had gone to fetch some oil or perhaps to prepare for the "service."

She was gone for a surprisingly long time. He waited in the quiet room, his expectations mounting with every passing minute of the silence. Finally, after a significant delay, the door opened and she stepped back inside. She looked at him with a pleasant, professional curiosity and asked:

"You have good wank?"

It turned out she wasn't offering her services; she was simply offering him the room for a bit of "private time" while she went off to have a tea break. He had spent ten minutes in a state of high-alert romantic anticipation, while she had simply been waiting for him to finish the job himself.

The Willow Road front row

During our year sharing the Willow Road house, Russell, Ally, and I formed a tight-knit, happy trio. Ally was already a wonderful cook, but she possessed that restless drive to get even better. She eventually signed up for a professional cooking course held over eight successive weeks.

The arrangement was "glory of glories" for Russell and me. Ally would go to her class, they would cook up a storm, and then she would bring the evening's creations home for us to "test." To say the food was delicious would be an understatement; it was an absolute delight.

As the weeks went by, Russell and I developed a ritual of our own. Ten minutes before Ally was due to arrive, we would spring into action. We’d drag the couch across the living room and position it directly facing the front door. We would sit there side-by-side, plates balanced on our laps and cutlery clutched in our hands, literally salivating in anticipation.

Every week, when Ally finally let herself in, she was met with the same ridiculous sight: two adoring, starving men staring at her with the hopeful intensity of puppies waiting for a treat.

Ally would always burst into laughter at the spectacle, and then we would all tuck in. It remains one of my favorite memories of our time together—a perfect slice of domestic happiness where the only thing better than the food was the theater of waiting for it.

Memorable moments: The velocity gap

I love tennis and have played on and off my entire adult life. If I have a "claim to fame" on the court, it’s the staggering, almost comical difference in speed between my first and second serves. My first serve was always incredibly hard—a raw, high-velocity strike. My second serve, by contrast, was a gentle "putt" over the net, the kind of shot you’d expect from a 90-year-old grandmother on a Zimmer frame.

During my time in the UK, I attended a professional tennis coaching camp. They used a speed-tracking machine to monitor our serves and provide data-driven advice. When it was my turn to step up to the line, I unleashed my first serve with everything I had.

The coaches were stunned. They checked the monitor and told me, with no small amount of awe, that it was the hardest serve they had measured in five years. I stood there, glowing with pride, basking in the glory of being the camp’s unofficial speed king.

Then came the "but."

"Graeme," they continued, looking at the rest of the data, "your percentage of serves actually landing in the court is the lowest we have ever recorded. Our professional advice to you is to stop using that serve entirely. Just use the granny serve."

I had achieved the pinnacle of power, only to be told that my record-breaking thunderbolt was statistically less useful than a Zimmer-frame lob. It was a humbling lesson in the difference between "impressive" and "effective"—and a reminder that in tennis, as in life, it doesn't matter how fast you're going if you aren't actually on the map.

The glow of Paradise Island

In 1996, Ally and I flew to Mozambique for a romantic getaway on the legendary Paradise Island. The hotel had been the height of opulence in the 1960s, but decades of civil war had left it in a state of beautiful decay. It was in the early stages of a renovation and, in the meantime, was offering a "rustic experience" at a price we couldn't resist.

The island was every bit the postcard: leaning coconut trees, brilliant azure water, and sand the color of gold. The hotel was equally atmospheric. When we arrived in our room, we found an assortment of candles left on the table by the friendly staff. We embraced the mood immediately, spending our evenings in the soft, flickering amber light, feeling like castaways in a more elegant era.

We spent an idyllic week lazing on the beach and chilling out by candlelight. We didn't even miss the hum of a bar fridge; the primitive, unplugged island life was exactly what we needed.

On our final morning, as we were lugging our bags toward the door to catch our flight, I happened to shoulder-nudge the old, peeled-away plastic switch on the wall.

Voila! The room was suddenly flooded with electric light.

We stood there, blinking like owls in the unexpected light, and burst into laughter. The modern world had been standing right there in the corner the entire time, waiting patiently for a single flick of a finger. We had spent the entire holiday in a 19th-century fantasy purely by accident. We didn't mind—the candles had provided a romance the local power grid never could have matched—but it was a hilarious reminder of how easily we inhabit the "reality" we think we've been given.

The Franschhoek threesome

In the early days of our relationship,  Ally and I escaped to Franschhoek for a romantic weekend. We’d found a cute, secluded cottage on a farm—the kind of place designed for long, slow mornings.

Our first day began exactly as planned. We woke up in a sprawling, comfortable bed and spent the morning enjoying the rare luxury of being able to laze around. We canoodled, cuddled, and did exactly what loving couples do when they have nowhere else to be.

At around 10:30 AM, we finally decided it was time to face the day. Ally stood up and peeled back the heavy duvet to let the bed breathe.

There, nestled in the warm hollow where we had just been lying, was a scorpion.

It was a small, brown fellow—exactly the kind you don't want to find in your linens. As every South African knows, there are two main types of scorpions: the big, black ones with impressive pincers but a relatively mild sting, and the small, brown ones with tiny pincers and a massive, potentially lethal sting.

Our uninvited guest was the latter.

We stood there in horrified silence, realizing we had spent the last several hours sharing our most intimate space with a high-velocity venom delivery system. The "romantic morning" was instantly replaced by a frantic search for a glass jar.

We eventually caught him, escorted him to a far-off corner of the farm, and asked him very politely to never seek a "threesome" with us again. Thankfully, he took the hint, and it remains the only time in our relationship where we’ve had to worry about a third party in the bed—especially one with a tail.

Memorable moments: The 0.1 percent predicament

When Ally and I first arrived in Sydney, we stayed with our friends Doug and Claudia while we navigated the daunting task of finding a home and work. I soon spotted an opening at Agency Fusion—a firm specializing in web strategy and marketing. It felt like a perfect fit, but there was one hurdle: a mandatory online aptitude test.

I’ve never been a fan of the artificial pressure of these assessments, so I decided to level the playing field. I recruited a "dream team" to tackle the link. I handled the verbal sections, Ally—with her creative, visual eye—mastered the pattern recognition, and Doug, the engineer, tore through the numerical data. Working as a single unit, we were unstoppable.

A few days later, I sat down for an interview with the founders, Louise and Warren. We clicked immediately; the conversation flowed, the skills aligned, and the vibe was perfect. As the interview wound down, they looked at me with genuine awe.

"Well," they said, "we love your experience, and personality-wise you’re a great fit. But goodness gracious, Graeme—your aptitude test results came in the top 0.1 percent of the global population. You’re at a genius level."

I got the job on the spot. It was a triumph, but as I walked out of the office, the weight of the "Genius" tag began to settle on my shoulders. I realized I hadn't just secured a position; I had committed myself to an impossible standard. For the duration of my time there, I lived with the quiet, nagging stress of trying to live up to the combined brainpower of an engineer, a creative director, and a strategist. In retrospect, I probably should have just done the test myself—it would have been far less stressful to be "merely" competent than to spend every day pretending to be a one-in-a-thousand prodigy.

Memorable moments: The evolution of Srini

My close friend Srini is a remarkable man. Raised in Bangalore, India, he began his life as a self-described computer nerd—a coder who spent the majority of his time behind a screen, significantly overweight and largely confined to his room.

Then, out of the blue, a LinkedIn job offer arrived from Australia. It took immense courage, but Srini got up from his desk and flew to a land he didn't know, where he knew absolutely no one.

In an effort to meet people, he joined a hiking group on MeetUp. For his first trek—a long trail in the Royal National Park—he arrived as the ultimate beginner: wearing jeans and carrying his lunch and gear in plastic shopping bags instead of a backpack.

I met him shortly after on another hike and immediately fell for him. He was a beautiful, friendly, and passionate guy, and that passion was quickly transferring to the outdoors. He graduated to a more professional group, tackling challenging, off-track routes. As the weight fell off, a new version of Srini emerged.

He became a master of navigation, leading our little group of friends into remote wilderness areas. He was fearless. He took up climbing, then canyoning—which required swimming through dark, subterranean rivers that never saw the sun. Remarkably, he could hardly swim when he started, but he refused to let that stop him.

Soon, the man who once carried shopping bags was abseiling down massive waterfalls and setting up complex rope systems to keep us all safe. He took up pack rafting, learning to navigate huge rapids with the same precision he once used for code.

Today, Srini is the ultimate mountain man—fit, skilled, and fearless. He has pursued adventures across the Himalayas, New Zealand, and Europe. He is a true inspiration, proving that a person can completely rewrite their own "software" and that passion, once ignited, is the most infectious force in the world.

Memorable moments: Propaganda and the scream

Growing up in the midst of Apartheid South Africa, my childhood was framed by the visible architecture of segregation. I remember the "White Only" signs on the beaches, the segregated train carriages, and even the separate public toilets. I was fortunate enough to attend a multiracial private school, but the world outside was strictly partitioned.

One afternoon, I spotted a piece of graffiti on a wall while riding the train. I went home and asked my father a question that was, at the time, heavy with unspoken weight: "Who is Mandela?" Even as a young child, I felt a growing sense that the reality I was being shown was fundamentally wrong.

This feeling was crystallized every morning at the breakfast table. At 7:00 AM, the radio would air "This Morning’s Comment." It was always delivered in an ultra-serious, officious tone—the mouthpiece of the government using every rhetorical trick and current event to legitimize the Apartheid system. It was pure, unadulterated propaganda.

But the moment that segment ended, the airwaves were pierced by a sudden, ridiculous scream: "CHICKEN MAN!!!"

It was a silly, off-the-wall program that followed the heavy propaganda with absolute nonsense. To be honest, as a kid, I found them both irritating in their own way. But as I sat there with my cereal, the contrast struck me as something profound.

I began to see "The Chicken Man" as a wonderful, perhaps accidental, metaphor. It was as if the universe—or someone clever in the radio planning department—was saying that everything that had come before was complete and utter ridiculous bullshit. The shrill absurdity of the chicken was the only honest response to the officious lies of the state.

Memorable moments: The potjie and the peaks

In 2015, I was backpacking through South Africa with my friend Chrisel. We arrived at a hostel nestled in the shadow of the magnificent Drakensberg mountains and discovered they had a potjie—the traditional, heavy cast-iron cauldron used for slow-cooking over an open fire.

We went to the local shop and loaded up on supplies: lamb, heaps of vegetables, and stock. Back at the hostel, I set about building the fire in the garden. It wasn't something I did often, and the pressure of "getting it right" started to mount.

As the oil began to sizzle, the stress took over. I became obsessed with the mechanics of the meal—searing the meat, tossing the vegetables, frantically moving everything around to ensure nothing burnt before the liquid went in. Chrisel told me to relax and leave it be, but I snapped back, convinced that one wrong move would ruin the entire day's investment. I was totally lost in the drama of the pot, my world shrinking down to a few square inches of bubbling iron.

Finally, after an hour of intense, fixated labor, the water and stock were added. The lid went on. The "crisis" was over; the stew just had to simmer for the next three hours.

I stood up, my body stiff from crouching, and finally looked up from the dirt.

The sight hit me like a physical wave. The spectacular peaks of the Drakensberg were looking down at me, ancient and unmoved. The trees in the hostel garden were swaying gently in a soft afternoon breeze. I could hear the rhythmic twittering of birds darting to and fro. It was a scene of absolute, unwavering peace.

I realized then, with a visceral jolt, that while I had been trapped in a self-made prison of stress and "culinary emergency," this peace had been present the entire time. It hadn't gone anywhere; I had simply tuned it out. I hadn't been mindful. I had been living in a mental simulation of a disaster while standing in the middle of paradise.

The Drakensberg didn't care about my burnt lamb, and the wind didn't care about my irritation. They were simply being. That realization remains the foundation of my daily practice. When the world feels loud or the "stew" of my life feels like it’s burning, I go outside. I look at the greenery, feel the air, and listen to the birds. By choosing my senses over my thoughts, I find the peace that was there all along. It’s the ultimate way to wake up.

Memorable moments: The Jaisalmer spit-shine

In 1997, Ally and I were backpacking through Rajasthan, India. We found ourselves in Jaisalmer, the "Golden City," and signed up for what we imagined would be a majestic three-day camel trek through the Thar Desert.

The reality was a bit more abrasive. Our camels were incredibly bad-tempered, and the seating was a masterclass in discomfort. However, the desert scenery was spectacular, and as the sun began to set on our first night, the vast, shifting dunes almost made the saddle-soreness worth it.

Our expedition leader, a local man of practical habits, began preparing dinner over the campfire. As he was plating up, he noticed one of the metal dishes wasn't quite up to his standards. With a loud, guttural clear of his throat, he delivered a hefty spray of spit directly onto the plate, then gave it a vigorous buffing with his filthy shirt sleeve.

We watched in paralyzed horror as he piled our food onto the "cleaned" surface. But, being young, exhausted, and absolutely starving, we ate every last bite.

The consequences arrived with the morning sun. As we set off the next day, Ally’s stomach decided to stage a full-scale revolt. She signaled that she had to get off, and the camel performed its awkward, jarring "press-up" maneuver to kneel in the sand. Ally dismounted, threw up, and climbed back on. A few hundred yards later, the process repeated. Press-up, dismount, vomit, remount.

Eventually, the sheer physical labor of the camel’s gymnastics became too much to bear. Ally simply said, "Fuck it," and began projectile vomiting directly from the height of the camel’s hump. I have never seen her so sick. We eventually limped back to the Jaisalmer Fort, where she spent the next several days in a darkened room, recovering from the most scenic—and hygienic—disaster of our lives.