Life Trove: -2013

Showing posts with label -2013. Show all posts

2 December 2013

11 October 2013

28 September 2013

Creating

Wisdom Trove
My Compass
Reflections

Photography

Exhibitions (Press, Antarctica, Wildlife)
Photography trip to Hawkesbury
Sculptures by Sea
Presentation to camera club
Zombie walk

Meet Up

Meet up walks at ocean (Manly, Watson's Bay, Botany Bay)
Hawkesbury hikes
Jervis Bay weekend
Southern Highlands weekend

Spiritual

Intimacy Group (Abe)
Eckhart at Jilly's
Geraldine
Buddhist group (incl anxiety workshop)
Nic's Group
Pathways to Intimacy

Dani

Dubbo & Mudgee
Hunter Valley
Port Stephens paddling race
Restaurants with (Spanish, Thai, Nepal, Radio Cairo, Spanish)
Student Art at National Gallery
Anniversary
Clothes and DVD shopping
Dragon Boat Racing
Paddling on harbour and trying Honu
Sailing

Social

Tennis with Brendan & Frank
Drinks and swimming with Helen
Dinners with Roger, Andreas

27 September 2013

Epiphany

Spiritual epiphany under tree. My purpose is to be a calm, loving, open space for the Consciousness I Am to flow into the world.
Nothing real can be threatened

Release

Spiritual releases and wonder at being alive
Crying deeply to beautiful music

Being

Power of meditation (yawn, stretch, cry) to blits agitation
Lie on floor and Be
Daily mindful walking
Music ( i-tunes lite, spiritual music, Spotify)

Peace

Equanimity and peace of mind and presence during my Xmas trip
Deep stillness on some walks

Love

Love experiences so strong I wouldn't exchange for anything (won lottery)
Deep spiritual wonder, LOVE, crying, release
Love for God (car in Kiribili & Hazelbank)
Wishing Dani well
Compassion (press exhibit, homeless man, Carl, Chris's guy)

Release

A tsunami of grief released to music
Ability to feel and cry, especially to music and on walks.
Power of music to make me feel (sad violin)

Wonder

Wonder at night in Waverton
Wonder of frog chorus
Wonder at the Bush Turkey on walk
Crying in the rain with the crickets
Wonder on way up Brennan Park steps

Peace

The peace of being (having yawned, stretched, cried)
Driving when the mind is still (Blue Mountains, Newcastle)
Deep peace in May (Hawkesbury camera outing etc.)
By river in camp site (Southern Highlands)
Mindful walks around Waverton

25 September 2013

Mystical experience: Boundless love

"It felt as if the whole universe was pulsating with limitless love. It felt as if I was dissolving into this love and becoming one with the universe. It felt as if the world had become a wonderland. It felt like I’d been given the most amazing surprise. And yet it also felt as if I’d remembered something I’d always secretly known." Tim Freke

During 2013 and 2014, I was regularly transported into an experience of boundless, sublime love. If often happened while I was mindfully listening to beautiful music. Suddenly I would find myself suffused with love. Love for God. Love for Life. Love for the world. Love for everyone and everything. Sometimes the love would feel so vast that I feared I wouldn't be able to contain it and my heart would burst into a million pieces. Other times it would feel infinitely peaceful yet unfathomably deep. Usually it would be accompanied by an almost orgasmic emotional release and beautiful crying.

I had never experienced love life this before and after a life time of numbing my emotions, it felt like the most priceless thing I had ever experienced. It felt like I had won the lottery. The love literally transformed me. It was indescribably healing. It felt like the presence of God. It opened my eyes to the exquisite benevolence of the universe and the fact that underneath it all, All is Well. It created the intense desire in me to surrender to Life and do Life's will.

27 August 2013

Priceless moments (2013)

Wisdom Trove

The joy of Wisdom Trove

Dani related

Paddle ski
Anniversary nookie
Photography day at Hawkesbury by river
Successful nookie

Spiritual

Some times of deep peace (May especially)
Deep spiritual experiences - priceless
By river in camp site (Southern Highlands)

Swims

Swimming at Port Shepstone
Swim at Jervis Bay
Swims with Helen & bombing kids
Jump into Hawkesbury from rock on hike.

Hawkesbury pub with Chris & co.
Dinners with Andreas at Bavarian Beer Cafe
Camera club presentation & feedback & afterglow.
Drinking the rotten coconut with Helen
Mindful walks (coffee and later)

Movies

27 July 2013

Insights (2013)

God is in the stillness. I love God more than thought.
My purpose is to be a calm, loving space for consciousness to flow into the world.
Who I am cannot be harmed, threatened or diminished.
I need nothing external to be complete. I am complete. I am love.
Guilt is caviar of the ego and low on the consciousness ladder. Remorse, resolve and move on.
I have the perfect ego and mind and pain body to learn what I'm here to learn.
The purpose of life is to learn, grow, evolve and enjoy.
The mind is inherited and thoughts are not real.
Don't make sex into a mind construct - take mind out of it.
The power of letting be, letting out, letting go, letting flow.
Turning "not enough" into "so much." (abundance and gratitude)
Be a space through loving what is.
Trust life's unfolding and welcoming what is - no need for fear. All for my higher good.
The power of processing emotions without identifying or creating a story.
Grieving Dani is ok and understandable - there's no time limit.
The need to impress is an archiles heal. External approval is just my projection.
Listen without advice. Who am I to know what's best for another.
Let go of judgement. Let her be. Let me be. We all have different egos and pain bodies.
We do the best we can at the consciousness we're at. Let go of guilt.
Consciousness that flows is forever, energy sucked into the ego drains and dies.
The story of me is an illusion - subjective, edited, selective perception. Will die.
Negative states of mind are a delusion caused by inappropriate attention and exaggeration.
Never try to think myself out of a low mood.
Divine Essence is not out there. It's everywhere. Its in me. It's who I really am.
I'm not here to annihilate the ego, but heal and lighten it and let it go.
Thank the mind. Let the mind be free. It's not an enemy.
Consciousness is about intention. Why am I doing this? From love. Or to impress, from fear?
There are no tests or punishments. Just consequences and opportunities to learn and evolve.
Life is an experiment to see what works. Try new approaches.
Don't get lost in needless ideology. Just a few leaves, not the forest. Pointers to love & stillness.
Being and stillness are at the centre of my life, not something to fit in.
I'm exactly where I'm meant to be and the past is perfect, having brought me here.
The Map of Consciousness (David Hawkins)

11 July 2013

My Mantra

Thank you, Divine Consciousness, for this experience of Life on this wondrous, beautiful planet.

Thank you that underlying this universe of form, All is Well, exactly as its meant to be.

Thank you for the love, abundance, health, inspiration, enthusiasm and grace that flows through this experience of Life.

Thank you for the freedom to do what I love and be fully alive.

Thank you for the fellow beings who share the journey and the chance to share love, laughter, wonder, wisdom, fun and adventure.

Thank you for the chance to play, experiment, explore, discover, hike, photograph, dance, leap ....

Thank you for the chance to break patterns, push boundaries, transcend limits and open to new possibilities.

Thank you for challenges and the chance to be courageous, to learn, to grow and to experience triumph of the spirit.

Thank you for pain and the chance it offers to lift illusions from the mind, open the heart to love, deepen the spirit, and to awaken to Who I Really Am.

Thank you that Who I Really Am can never be threatened, harmed or diminished.

Thank you that Who I Really Am is complete and whole containing everything within for perfect happiness and fulfilment.

Thank you that the temporary human form I take is perfect for the Consciousness I Am to experience what it is here to experience.

Thank you for the greatest gift of all; the gift of this sacred, perfect, priceless moment of Now.

- Free in this moment to be inmost calm and still, resting in the aliveness of the body.

- Free in his moment to let it out, let it be, let it go, let it flow.

- Free in this moment to surrender to life's unfolding and love what is.

- Free in this moment to sense my oneness with all.

- Free in this moment to be a calm, loving and open space for Consciousness to flow into the world ...

… a space for love and connection.

… a space for compassion and kindness.

… a space for peace and stillness

… a space for wonder and delight.

… a space for wisdom and insight.

… a space for inspiration and creativity.

… a space for fun and laughter.

… a space for abundance and gratitude.

… a space for healing and vitality.

… a space for adventure and aliveness.

… a space to serve Life by sharing the gifts of this form.

… a space for the Consciousness I Am to experience and express through.

… a space space to be free.

… a space space to Be.

I Am ...

I Am ...

I Am ...

27 June 2013

Gratitude (2013)

Safety

Eye not poked by balcony plant.
Didn't hit the rock when I jumped into Hawkesbury.

Finances

No late fee from ATO ($800)
$4,500 in tax refunds

Being asked to show my photos by Hans
Neri's gift of Game of Thrones and Walking Dead - perfect time.
Asked Essence for help with what to do re Xanax running out - turned out to be 5 mg, not 2.5!!! Miracle!

27 May 2013

Progress (2013)

Compass

Reflection and insights integral part of life
Start life tracking in excel
Track expenses
Timesheet

Spiritual

Purpose to be a loving, calm space for consciousness to flow
Deep spiritual wonder, LOVE, crying, release
Ability to feel and cry, especially to music and on walks.
Power of meditation (yawn, stretch, cry) to blits agitation
Deep stillness on some walks
Daily mindful walking
Power of music to make me feel (sad violin)
Compassion (press exhibit, homeless man, Carl, Chris's guy)
Equanimity and peace of mind and presence during my Xmas trip
Deep spiritual wonder and love
Develop Mantra
Music ( i-tunes lite, spiritual music, Spotify)

Wisdom Trove

List of virtues, challenges, vices
All quotes in excel
Manage distractions (news, Facebook)
Timed working
Mindfulness bell
Manage distractions (news, Facebook)

Joining Meet Up
i-phone notes
Personal commitments (off double dex, porn)
Spreading dex out over day
Cooking with slow cooker
Two handed tennis forearm
Camera club presentation
Fearless injection, by breathing
Kept to my fundamentals while in enormous pain re Dani pregnancy (walks, breakfast, timed work, meditation)

27 March 2013

Connect (2013)

Meet Up

Chris
Morag
Ken
Chrisel
Hugh

Teachers

Service

Cat photos for Neri
Russia collage for Sue
Carry girl's pack on Meet Up hike
Helping Jilly with computer, phone, lifts from hospital etc.
Helping Helen with Carl
Sue and Alex wedding
Took Neri to vet
Being space for Dani re friend's husband's death
Take Helen to hospital

Appreciation

E-mail to Kerri
Gratitude emails to Abe and Denise
Affirm Eva as host of blogging
Flowers "just because"
Neri reference
Geraldine - share my spiritual awakening

Connecting

Meditating with Mack
Connection with Rana (Bangladesh) in car
Connection with Juni in car
Jilly "I love you."
Text to Helen for operation. "So very thoughtful of you."
Being space for Dani re Mark and paddling coach
Jilly sharing re Brian "As we journey on river of life"

27 February 2013

Affirmation (2013)

Proud

Presentation of my photos to Mosman Camera club
Wisdom Trove

Dani

Dani: Emotionally best I've ever experienced.
Dani "You're so easy going, calm."
Dani "Thought you looked really good on site. Even better in person."
Dani "You're so easy to talk too."
Best emotions of any boyfriend.
You're so calm.
You're so easy going.
G-Force "so good looking."
You make me feel beautiful.
I could imagine a life with you.
Always saw you as long term.
You're so easy going.
Emotionally best I've experienced
So easy to talk to.
Love that so easy going.

Photography

Hans "You're one of the best photographers in the club."
6 audience awards at clubs
2013 Top Shot medal and book. Zero to Hero.
Hans "As good as anything in Austalia."
We're all going to retire from competitions.
Sue: "Loved through the eyes of a child."
Hans and Brent: "What a hard act to follow."
Sandy "I was in tears."
Sandy, Brent, Sue loved the quotes.
Hans: "We do get the best presenters."
Janice: "Do you work? Awe inspiring. Made me very green."
Hug from Pamela straight after.
Jack "What did you present before?"
Applause after birds and music.
Top photographer: How did you get backdrops so blurred?"
Janie, one of the best photographers in NSW: "Last night’s two speakers were the best I’ve ever seen at a camera club. I’m driving Len (Janie's husband) nuts this morning telling him what he missed! Thank you so much for organising the evening, it was very inspiring.
Hans: For those of you who were not at the meeting last night, you missed something very special as both Graeme and Brent's presentation were absolutely fantastic...
Hans: Just a short note to say a big thank you for the wonderful presentation you gave us last night. It was by far the finest that we've had this year. I fully appreciate the amount of work that you put into it, which resulted in a telling story of your photographic life so far. Your images were to say the least, spectacular, and I insist that you enter them in competitions so that all the members can see them. Once again many thanks for a job very well done.
Sue about Hans: Graeme's Presentation was THE best ever presentation he had seen.
Sandy: Your presentation and quotes have inspired me to get out there and shoot more.
Sue: Congratulations! I wanted to email you after your most stunning presentation on Friday night. Both Jann and Wes enjoyed it thoroughly and haven' stopped talking a about it - we all LOVED it. I thought your presentation was one of the best EVER, with your mix of photos of various subjects along with your collection of 'quotes." You are such an excellent photographer on all genres without being heavily Photoshopped, your intelligence, your enthusiasm for life also shone thru. Wes said I most most fortunate to have you as a friend with so much knowledge of photography, of course I heartily agreed.
Sue: I tried phoning you on Skype to enthuse verbally - you should be very proud of yourself. We three thought your presentation was not too fast nor too slow. I heard so many "oohs & aahs" around me with each image that you showed so my judgement was that your presentation was a HUGE success. You SHOULD be very proud of yourself.
Sue: Is it too much work for you to burn your presentation onto a disc so as I can look at it again & again, it truly was sensational?

15 February 2013

Challenges (2013)

Dani

Worry re Dani pregnant, especially after Xmas
Sense of helplessness with Dani + guilt
Anxiety re erections
Hopelessness after failure
Getting out of Hawaii
Dani outside house with new flatmates - feeling jealous.
Worry re Dani pregnant after Xmas holiday
Panic as reach 1 year anniversary.
Melancholy re pending break up.
Dani wearing sexy jeans and not being able to say she was really mine.
Admission meeting.
Break up meeting
Grief over Dani
Dani on Hamilton Island party on Facebook
Dani in Hawaii on Facebook
Take book back with letter, hear nothing
S obsession after Dani

Dex

Strong agitation later in day

Photography

Photo for Eva for dinner party
Sue photos

9 February 2013

Life is an epic work of art (Feb 2013)

Life is God's novel. Let him write it. Isaac Bashevis Singer

Perhaps when the Universe returns to formlessness, we as Consciousness will get to view a collage of Life's moments of grace - moments of pure love, joy, triumph, insight, inspiration, passion, courage, tenacity, wonder and beauty that occurred in time and form.

But would those moments of grace really mean anything at all without the backdrop and context of pain, sorrow, suffering, difficulty, challenge, adversity, hardship, fear, ugliness and even hate? What would a movie or book be worth if it were about nothing but living happily and perfectly in non- stop peace and harmony? What would the story of Life and it's awakening to Itself be if it were just non stop light with no dark?

As human beings, we love to create, watch, read, tell and be inspired by stories. We love stories and epics and dramas with hardship and struggle and the victory over it and we love fairy tales with heroes and villains. Maybe this part of us is inspired by our Divine Essence. Maybe Consciousness loves stories as much as we do. Maybe, at the end of time and form, Consciousness, of whom We are all merely temporary expressions, will watch a reel of Life's highlights and be inspired and moved beyond anything that can possibly be described. What a work of Art that would be. How epic. How sublimely beautiful. Joyful. Sad. Poignant. Profound. Inspiring.

1 February 2013

2013 Highlights

More fun times with Dani, joining Meet Up for hiking and weekends away

Best family photos for 2013

Best images for 2013

Priceless Moments

Exploring and photographing the lovely vineyards and town of Mudgee with Dani.
A weekend away in The Hunter Valley with Dani and especially the best mocha of my life and delicious crumble at a restaurant that specialised in only desserts (my idea of heaven!)
Getting to capture Dani in glorious action in her Port Stephens outrigger race and an exhilarating swim at the beach the next day.
Becoming completely addicted to The Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad and The Walking Dead.
Going on a kayak from Clontarf to Manly with Dani and the girls, then getting to try out Dani's double-rig canoe (I capsized!)
Taking photos of Jackson, the cat, for Nerium to give to her housemate, Vicki and how good they looked framed and on the wall.
Photographing the mountain of fascinating junk in the Windsor Junk Yard with Sue during our club outing to The Hawkesbury.
The adorable little baby Koala that crawled out of it's mum's pouch and posed for George and I in the Blackbutts wildlife sanctuary in Newcastle.
Photos full of wonder and beauty at the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition.
My first ever hike with Meet Up (Milson's Point to Waverton) and realising I was onto a good thing (thanks Roger for encouraging me to join).
My first real bushwalk with Meet Up (a hike at Mount Kuring-gai) and loving every minute of it, especially getting to meet Liz who later became the founder of our hiking gang.
Cooking up a storm for my dear friends, Guy and Sue.
Meeting the lovely Chrisèl on a hike overlooking The Central Coast and talking animatedly about our passions for South Africa and its wildlife.
The riot of colour at the Bowral tulip festival and the serenity of the river where we camped.
Relaxing, mindful daily walks to Waverton Park, Berry Island and Ball's Head with Mack.
Being a hero and carrying a very distressed damsel's pack on a hot hike in Jerusalem Bay. Chris, the very appreciative leader, bought me beers at the pub after which I wolfed down in my dehydrated state and became extremely drunk!
Feasting my eyes on some of Sydney's most beautiful beaches on a walk from Collaroy to Manly.
Doing a presentation of my photographic journey to The Mosman Camera Club and winning the Presentation of the Year award.
Sitting up high on the enormous cliffs at Point Perpendicular after a weekend camping at the beautiful Jervis Bay.
Stripping to our underwear and leaping into the refreshing Hawkesbury River half way through a hike on a swelteringly hot day.
The love so clearly evident at Su and Alex's wedding at Balmoral Beach.
Photographing the zombie apocalypse that descended on Sydney and having everyone play up for the camera.
Jo, my wonderful sister, taking up photography with an amazing flare for it, and being able to share this passion with her.
Jo's wonderful penguin story.