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Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

30 November 2016

Entry into a photography competition (theme: the power of sight)





Gazing into the eyes of this majestic lion, I saw my own soul reflected. I realised that he and I and all living creatures, in essence, are one being. We are Life itself, seeing the world through a trillion eyes. And the result?  A visual kaleidoscope of unimaginable wonder; a cosmic work of art. What a gift; the power of sight.




Gazing into the eyes of this majestic lion, I saw my own essence reflected back. We all look at the world through different eyes, yet what is looking is somehow the same. Life itself.   When eyes connect, the sacredness in another is so clear to see.



1 August 2016

It is all just happening (2016)


There is no person. No thinker. No doer. No chooser.

There is nothing to be, nothing to to do, nothing to think about, nothing to choose, nothing to to plan and no need even to notice.

All these things happen spontaneously, naturally and effortlessly within the Presence I Am; exactly as they are meant to

No need to worry or fear; no need to try, no need to control anything at all ..

... simply a sitting back on the sofa of Life  ...

... an enjoying of the stream of life experiences as they flow into and out of the Awareness I Am ...

… the joy of creating, expressing, loving, choosing as they naturally arise ...

... an allowing of all things to come and go ...

.. and a resting in the peace that passeth all understanding.





I remember Eckhart posed the question: to become present in any moment, does Presence choose us or do we choose Presence?  He said it doesn't really matter.  In this play of form, there is the appearance of choice, and that's all that matters.

I like to think of free choice in this way: When I am unconscious, I follow the script of my conditioning so there isn't really any free will or choice. When I'm truly present, I surrender completely to Presence, so it is the Presence I am (not the script of the thought identified mind) that makes all the choices.  I surrender completely to Life's flow. And that is true freedom.

A puppet is free as long as he loves his strings.   Sam Harris




In presence, when the little "I" falls away,  there is no longer a "chooser."  All sense of "self will" falls away and is replaced by a sense of "Your will be done, Life".  Choices arise and are made naturally and spontaneously in Presence; sometimes through thought; sometimes through intuition. Choices are made within a vastly deep, intelligent space that is free of the limitations of conditioning. Thus, the script falls away and infinite possibility arises.

Even the choice of whether to be present or not arises in Presence, whether we are aware of it or not.  And the only true response when awareness does arise is the deepest gratitude to Life.  For what greater gift is there than the arising of the Presence we are.  That's true Grace.





To get to the heart of it, I don't think it matters whether we believe in free choice or not. Free choice is merely a concept of the mind, arising in awareness.

In the spiritual realm, all thoughts and concepts are inherently empty, arising from emptiness and returning to emptiness.  No need to attach. Nothing to believe in.

Ypgi, if the thought, "I choose presence" or the thought "The awareness I am makes choices" helps you to reach a state of presence, then it is a beautiful signpost for you, pointing to a surrendered state in which choices are made effortlessly and intelligently. No need to discard it.

Buddha once said, to awaken, we do not need the entire forest, just a few leaves.  To awaken, we do not need to try to understand the entire workings of the cosmos, just a few useful pointers to stillness.

Of course, any particular pointer is subjective. It may work for one, not for another. That's the beauty of the diversity of consciousness's expression through the human form.





8 February 2016

Waves



By being a tranquil space for the waves that flow into and out of our lives, we learn to ride them with a beautiful grace; even the mighty waves that seem unsurfable at first.

As the practice deepens, we merge more and more with the immense ocean currents that give rise to the very waves themselves.  And so we become instruments for the endless, loving power of the ocean to surge through us like a spring tide.

To recognise our oneness with the exquisite oceanic force, we don't need to search with exhausting kicks along its turbulent surface.  By Grace, we surrender and sink effortlessly into the serenity of its depths where we are embraced by a love vaster and deeper than even the ocean itself.


Written: 2016

1 February 2016

Experience from a Deck Chair

I was looking out into the sky from my deck chair on my balcony.  I had an immense sense of being the space (created by the eyes looking out from the head that  could not see itself) in which the clouds and other forms like birds flying by were arising and subsiding.  I got a sense too of any thoughts that arose as coming into the space from "out there", rather than emerging from within my head.  They just passed through without getting stuck.

What made it so much more powerful was the sense that I was pinned to the very edge of the universe looking down into the universe (my part of it, my world).  It was such a strong sense that it gave me a scary and yet delicious feeling of vertigo.  I felt my back (which I  also could not see, and never can, no matter where I am) merging with an infinite Space behind me. A Space far vaster than the universe itself (my field of experience).  It felt as if the universe, as immense as it is, was contained in a sphere and I was pinned to it's outer surface with my back merging with the infinite nothingness (formless Consciousness) outside it.

I felt the space in front of the eyes (the space in which all forms arise and subside) merging with the infinite Space behind.  The more I sensed the Space behind merging with the space in front, the deeper the sense of expansiveness I felt and the more I sensed that I was that Space.  I felt tapped into something vast that was immensely peaceful but also immensely intelligent.

I still have this sense now (not as strong) when I anchor myself in the body and look out of my head into the space that contains my computer screen.   A space of awareness in front, and a sense of  vast space behind.  The forms in the foreground (arising and subsiding) AND an infinite Space in the background, both merging with each other through the aliveness of the body.


Reflections From A Deck Chair 

I gaze into the sky below
stuck to the ceiling of the world
by an invisible force
that makes leaves fall in autumn,
breasts sag with age,
daredevils hurtle from planes,
water cascade into ravines,
chairs collapse under the fat,
snow avalanche from cliffs,
rain patter onto roofs,
and ostriches stay earthbound
as much as they might want to fly.

Written: 1997 (on a holiday in Turkey)

14 September 2015

The Ultimate Experience

Just for fun, lets experiment with a conceptual way of looking at the experience of Life that has the potential to include all the religious and spiritual view-points of human beings as well as the views (experiences) of other living forms too ...


The most universal truth spoken about by spiritual mystics and enlightened beings is that We are all One

A commonly held Scientific view-point is that you, in concept at least, are nothing but space containing swirling particles, moved and held together by energy. I am the same.  The space between us is the same.  Basically the two of us and the space between us is one space, containing swirling particles and energy.

The separation between us is an illusion created by both distance and energy attachments holding particles together - and most importantly, the interpretation made of that made by the brain.  Science may one day discover that distance is as much an illusion as time.   We already know that death breaks particle attachments releasing space into space and allowing energy and particles to dissipate to become part of everything else.

Modern spirituality talks more and more about God (The Infinite) being formless and timeless; something beyond this dimension of form we live in.  What if we create a conceptual view-point where we think of God in the dimension we live in as being that which is formless?  Namely, Space.  After all, through history we’ve represented God as an energy form (e.g. The Sun), as physical form (e.g. idols or even some animals) and as a mind concept or image (e.g. A father in Heaven).  The only thing we haven’t represented God as yet is Space or “Nothingness."

Using this conceptual framework (and it is nothing more than that), the universe is nothing but swirling particles and energy contained in Space. Everything in One Space, and Space in Everything.  Space in every single form, living and non living.  And Space between all physical forms, embracing them as part of One Space.

Imagine the implications that.  A conceptual view of Truth that believes in Nothing, yet also acknowledges Everything including all points of view.  A view that provides a deep sense of the inter-connectedness and Oneness of all things, physical and otherwise, in line with realities we think we know.


Why would the Infinite choose to be Space in a world of Form?

In this room, containing you and me, right now, there is nothing but Space (God) containing swirling particles and energy.  Why?  Because God, being Formless, is having an experience of being Form in a dimension of duality (which is ultimately the polarity between spaciousness (limitless) and density (limitation).

God is experiencing this world of form through “us” in this very moment of Now.  Except, we don’t exist.  The identities we create are illusions of the human brain (itself nothing but space, particles and energy), specifically designed to perpetuate this illusion.  And God loves the illusions of the human mind and the stories it creates (including the “story” of ourselves) as much It delights in waking up to Itself within the human form. Why?  Because stories, including stories of self, are part of the experience of life for the human form.

However, this world of form is about far, far more than the experience of God waking up to Itself through the human form (and the other equally valid experiences that other religions and spirituality contain.

To think that all this is about the human form and experiences through it is one of the ultimate illusions of the human brain and is steeped in human ego.  God is having a personal experience through every living form that exists now and has ever existed. When an eagle soars, God is experiencing that through the form that is the eagle. When an ant scurries, God is experiencing that through the form that is the ant. Not just through that particular ant, but through every ant on the planet, now and past.   All life experiences through each and every life form is separate. But all separate experiences are part of One Experience.  And no single experience (whether that of a human or beetle) is any more important than another.


Maybe God is creating the ultimate Work of Art through form
We know that God is the ultimate Creator. The ultimate Artist.  Maybe this Universe is the ultimate work of art.  An infinite cosmic canvas created through forms and experiences. An eternal symphony.  Each living form and its experiences is a “dab of paint” on that infinite canvas.  Each living form and its experiences a note in the eternal symphony.  And each dab of paint and each note is a priceless and essential part of the whole.

The One Experience comprises almost an infinite number of experiences.  On this planet, this includes an experience of:
  • Evolving, through Life forms, from limited to limitless - from water to land to air and into Space.
  • The elation and expansion of the soul (none other than God within the form) when the form triumphs over challenge and diversity.
  • The love and compassion that flows when God, experiencing though one form, connects to God, experiencing through another form.
  • The joy of creating through form.  Yes, the creation of art, music, architecture and tools through the human form and all else it creates.  But also the creation of life stories, both real and fictional. And world stories like history.   The creation of thought and knowledge.  But also the creation of elaborate nests, termite cities, coral colonies created through other life forms. And all else they create.
  • The joy of exploration and the discovery of new frontiers and possibilities.
  • The delight of inspiration, insight, revelation and wisdom and the unfolding of profound truths.
  • Waking up to the exquisite, breath-taking beauty and wonder of this world of form. Looking out into the vast night sky and contemplating the infiniteness of it all.  No wonder the soul (the space within) expands when God contemplates infinite space through form for it is the very nature of God.
  • The joy, delight and laughter of God when God wakes up through form to experience Itself more and more directly, more and more undistorted by the lens of the human mind.
  • And so, so, so much more.

Certainly, through the human form, there are countless experiences of peace and joy and love.    Certainly experiences of the wonder and beauty of it all. And experiences of abundance and transcendence.   But what good would those experiences be without their opposites?  Experiences of limitation, scarcity, pain and suffering?  And the soul expanding experience of transcending them?  If you were God, would you choose to experience a world like that?  A life of constant bliss and peace.  A world with no challenges and no pain required to deepen and expand the spirit, grow and triumph? No experience of expanding from the ultimate limitation (being nothing) to the ultimate freedom (being Everything.)    Surely a world like that containing perpetual heaven would feel like a kind of hell after a while?


Experiment with the concept of "God as Space" and see if it translates into a direct experience

Nothing points to truth if it doesn’t translate into a direct personal experience.  For no concept is true because the mind cannot comprehend truth.  Words are only signposts to a truth the heart can feel and the soul within can sense through its own expansion.

If you’re willing to experiment with the idea that God is the Space within you, here are practices to try.  Practices to allow God to experience the world more directly through the form you take.  To experience the joy and peace within.  To love.  To release pain and heal.  To inspire.  To have access to universal intelligence and creativity.  In a nutshell, for the form you take, to be an instrument for God ...


Create Space in your life; special time for God to breathe within “you."
  • Be the Space for this moment.  The more space behind your awareness, the more God experiences this moment directly, free of the distortions of the mind and the more “aliveness” there will be.
  • Be the Space for someone else through spacious listening without thought or judgement. Or through shared stillness.  If they are the space for you, God unites with God and there is an opening of the heart to deep unconditional love.
  • Be the space for pain, in yourself and others, and there will be a release of dense energy which brings healing over time.
  • Bring Space to ideas, both new and old.  Let God breathe life and inspiration into them and combine them with other ideas to create something startlingly new.
  • Bring space to your decisions and choices.  Decide from Space (peace and stillness), not from contraction  (desire and fear).
  •  Let all doing arise from Space (stillness and peace).  And bring Space into the midst of all doing too to create inspired, effortless, mindful action.
  • Be a Space for natural beauty.  Be the space for a flower. Or even a pebble.  Or a grain of sand.  Let God experience it as directly as possible.  Feel the exquisite beauty and wonder of it all explode from within.
  • Create Space in the body - breathe in, yawn, stretch.
  • Bring Space to all your attachments.  Space loosens the bonds between forms to release energy and create spaciousness.
  • Create mind Space though stillness, time in nature and whatever else quietens the mind.
  • To get a sense of whether a thought tends to truth or falsehood, first bring deep Space (stillness) to the mind and body.  Say the thought out loud and bring spacious awareness to the body.  If there is a sense of expansion of the soul (space) within you, the thought is true for you.  If there is a contraction, it is not.
  • Declutter to create Space.  Ditch physical stuff that is not serving you.  But most of all, ditch mental stuff - ideas and beliefs that don’t serve you. In fact, let go All of it and see what happens.
  • Lie under a night sky and be the Space for the vast Space above you.  Feel your Soul expand, for that that you look out into is what You are.  Infinite and vast beyond comprehension.
  • Become aware of the energy you bring to all your intentions and goals.  Is the energy spacious (peaceful) and loving?  Or full of contraction (fear and desire)?

In these ways and more, bring Space to everything in life. Experiment with all practices that help you to loosen around any contractions and densities you feel within you.  Bring Space to them.  Most of all, let go of the perceived need to try so hard for that more than anything creates deep contraction, the very opposite of Space.

As you open to space and loosen around contraction, feel the expansion and delight in the release.  Welcome to Freedom. Welcome to Possibility.  The more you open to Space, the deeper that experience becomes. And the more the heart opens to love and joy; energies that bless the world and the more Space is released through you into the world as Peace.

21 July 2015

Reflection on the movie "Amy"




Why did it effect me so much?

I resonated…  with her pain.  With her being driven to create through the pain.  Also the amazing “art” that her life story creates.  No less beautiful and precious because of its sadness.  The director created a beautiful piece of art out of her life.  So you could with all our lives.  Perhaps that’s what consciousness is all about.  An artist creating art out of life stories.

Maybe when we die, we will get to watch a highlights reel of our life: our moments of grace and transcendence. What art! A cinematic masterpiece. Comedy. Tragedy. Triumph. Drama. Beautiful. Ugly. Light and dark. Brush strokes. Off screen, there is nothing but love. All well. 

Each of us is a brushstroke in a vastly epic masterpiece created by Consciousness.  Life is Consciousness’s epic masterpiece of art, each of us a brushstroke.

The way the press created a caricature of Amy. Merciless. Mocking her.  Making fun of her tragedy.  Using it to sell newspapers.  Making the shallower songs into the wildly popular ones and making her sing them when she no longer resonated with them.

I have a huge ocean of pain. Vast. So did she.  She called it “The Black.”  The source of her creative genius and her depth.   “My life and I are falling apart but these lyrics are still flowing through me."

The way she used her pain to create. Only thing that made her feel better.  She used her most painful experiences as a catalyst to sublime songs (e.g. Fade to Black.)

I felt like an outsider looking in.  Then I realised her life was not her experience - it’s Our experience.  She experienced what she did for us.

The devastation of her deeply needy love affair with Blake. How they dragged each other down, so mutually destructive.  Him using her to keep drugs coming.  Trying to use each other to fill the hole using form.   You cannot fill the hole inside you with any form.  Only by going within and being that hole, filling it with Consciousness.

She was totally authentic emotionally. Herself.  Open. No airs or graces.  Humility.  Never thought of herself as famous.

The huge effect of dad leaving, spent rest of life craving for strong, protective male character.  Her inherited script.

Blake, who played the villain. She loved him so much.  He treated her so badly at times.  Dad also villain.

When she won the Grammy. Told friends: "It’s boring without drugs."

Tony Bennett said "It's different every time with you when you sing, each song sung feels unique." She so felt her songs.  Sang with such emotional intensity.  Her way of pure feeling.

Having to sing old stuff when no longer relevant.  Trot out stuff that had become meaningless

The shackles of success. The opposite of freedom. Enslavement. Obligations. Vested interest. Others on your gravy train., pressurising you to fill obligations that they can get rich on.

Clarity just weeks before she died. Sorry to friends. Time at wedding. 

Refusing to sing in front of thousands. I saw it as a kind of triumph. Fuck you to expectations of others. Didn't want to sing old stuff.  They saw it as letting down her friends in the music industry.  No!!

I don't want to be famous. Just create peacefully. No pressure or expectations. Quietly contribute to raising in Consciousness.  Be a space. Relish in my connection with Consciousness. Enough abundance to do this and be fully alive.


 

9 March 2015

Mystical experience: The form I temporarily take

I had such a deep, profound experience tonight while listening to music. I felt so much love that I thought my heart would burst. I just cried and cried. Then, I felt moved to write down some of what I sensed so deeply. 



Consciousness is timeless and formless. Consciousness is no-thing. Consciousness is everything that is.

This form named "Graeme" is a creation (expression) of Consciousness. Just as this time based universe of form is a creation of Consciousness ...

- A way for Consciousness to experience itself through form.

- A way for Consciousness to delight in the universe of form it has created.

- A way for Consciousness to experience itself in a world of duality...  to experience itself as the light it is in a relative world of light (it) and dark (absence of it).

- A way for Consciousness to create; for Consciousness is infinitely creative.

- A way for Consciousness to awaken to itself.

Consciousness is pure Love. Underneath this world of form, there is nothing but PURE LOVE.

Knowing this is to fall into a sense of pure trust and peace that All is well, that All is perfect, that All is as exactly as it should be.

The "I" named Graeme is an illusion. A fantasy created by the mind. Letting go of that illusion allows Consciousness to wake up through this form named Graeme.

When the mind of this form lets go and pure awareness emerges, it is Consciousness itself that is aware through this form.

When the mind lets go and there is a deep wonder and love for it all, it is Consciousness itself delighting in the world through this form.

When the mind lets go and creativity and inspiration flows, it is Consciousness itself creating through this form.

This form named Graeme (including it's mind and ego) is perfect for Consciousness to experience what it is here to experience.

When the mind of this form loses itself completely in thought, judgement, fear, pride, guilt, shame or anger, Consciousness becomes trapped in that and "falls asleep"  until awareness re-emerges and it wakes up again.

This form named Graeme is not unimportant or immaterial.  Quite the opposite.  It's a perfect expression of Consciousness.  Perfect in every way for the divine purpose of Consciousness to unfold.  Wondrous and miraculous. Vital and precious beyond words. Honour this form.  While letting go of all attachment to it and identification with it.

The intention of this form named Graeme is to let go of the mind and ego to become pure awareness.  To allow Consciousness to wake up to itself.   To become an open space for Consciousness to flow into the world.  A space for Consciousness to delight in the world.  A space for Consciousness to create.  A space for love, compassion, kindness, wonder, inspiration, peace, and joy to flow.



One of my intentions on my spiritual journey is to let go of the mind-made sense of "self".  The "story of me" that the mind creates. After all, it's just a carefully edited, selectively remembered fantasy.  An illusion that exists only as thoughts. It is not Who I Am. And in my experience, the more I attach to that story and get my identity from it, the less Consciousness is able to flow through the form.  Because with it inevitably comes energies like guilt, shame, desire, pride and fear, all of which "suck up" Consciousness rather than allowing it to flow into the world.

To give up the mind made sense of self is to become a Space that allows Consciousness (The real Self that I Am) to flood through.  And with it flows inspiration, wonder, compassion, peace and most of all, Love, for the benefit of all.

Having said this, "I" have temporarily taken on a form. The form "I" take has a body and a mind.  All inherited. All perfect creations and expressions of Consciousness. All created for the divine purpose of the universe to unfold.  Especially for the purpose of Consciousness to awaken to itself in this world of form.  Even the ego I have inherited (seen by some as the "enemy") is perfect for Consciousness to experience what is wishes to experience, until I am able to let it go.  And as  Eckhart says "Without the ego, there would be no awakening."

When I am able to honour the form I temporarily take, and feel a sense of wonder in it, as a perfect expression of Consciousness and a way for the universe's divine purpose to unfold - but without getting my sense of identity from it - then letting go of the little self and awakening to the real Self becomes easier.

9 February 2013

Life is an epic work of art (Feb 2013)


Life is God's novel. Let him write it. Isaac Bashevis Singer

Perhaps when the Universe returns to formlessness, we as Consciousness will get to view a collage of Life's moments of grace - moments of pure love, joy, triumph, insight, inspiration, passion, courage, tenacity, wonder and beauty that occurred in time and form. 

But would those moments of grace really mean anything at all without the backdrop and context of pain, sorrow, suffering, difficulty, challenge, adversity, hardship, fear, ugliness and even hate?  What would a movie or book be worth if it were about nothing but living happily and perfectly in non- stop peace and harmony?  What would the story of Life and it's awakening to Itself be if it were just non stop light with no dark?  

As human beings, we love to create, watch, read, tell and be inspired by stories.  We love stories and epics and dramas with hardship and struggle and the victory over it and we love fairy tales with heroes and villains.  Maybe this part of us is inspired by our Divine Essence.  Maybe Consciousness loves stories as much as we do.  Maybe, at the end of time and form, Consciousness, of whom We are all merely temporary expressions, will watch a reel of Life's highlights and be inspired and moved beyond anything that can possibly be described. What a work of Art that would be. How epic. How sublimely beautiful. Joyful. Sad. Poignant. Profound. Inspiring.  

16 October 2010

My Bad Day

I wrote this (true) story for one of my English classes to introduce 3rd conditionals...

A couple of months ago, I had a really bad day.  I was at work teaching when I got a phone call from my housemate, Craig, to say that my dog, Mack, had run away.

Craig had been walking to the station when he realized he had forgotten his mobile phone so he rushed back to the house to get it.  Because he was in a hurry, he left the front gate open by mistake and Mack then ran outside.   Craig ran after Mack.  Mack thought he was being chased and got scared and ran away faster. Craig could not catch him.

I went home as soon as I could to look for Mack.  I drove around in my car around the neighborhood calling his name loudly but he didn't come.  I was terrified I would never see Mack again.  I thought maybe he would get run over - or people would find him and keep him as their pet.

Then after three hours of stress, my phone rang.  It was a lady called Liza who told me she had found a dog called Mack.  Was he my dog?  I was so happy I danced around in the street.  Then I drove to the Liza’s house to get Mack - she lived close by in North Sydney.  I was so relieved and happy to see Mack again.   Mack was happy to see me to and licked my face to say hello.

Liza said that Mack had run onto a busy road and a car nearly hit him.  She was walking past with her mother and saved Mack.  They picked Mack up and took him back to her house.

Liza said she had and her mum had totally fallen in love with Mack.  She said he was the cutest and most friendly little dog she had ever met.  She asked if she could come to my house during the day and take Mack for walks while I was at work.  I said yes, definitely, because Mack often gets very lonely during the day while I am at work.

So now Liza comes and takes Mack for walks everyday and often she takes Mack back to her house and looks after him for the day.  If I want to go to a party in the evening, she looks after Mack for the night.  She has said that if I ever want to go away for the weekend, she will look after Mack too.  Mack is so happy because he loves Liza and he is no longer alone during the day.

So all in all, my bad day turned into a good day!   If Craig hadn’t left the gate open, Mack wouldn’t have run away.  If Mack hadn’t run away, he wouldn’t  have met Liza.   If Liza hadn’t met Mack, Mack would be alone during the day.  If Mack was still alone during the day, I would worry about him.

22 August 2010

Bitter Love

Unfortunately I don't think this story is original. I faintly remember reading something with a similar theme when I was young. Hopefully, it'll leave you hanging till the end.

Rupert was a very rich man. He had everything his heart could desire. A penthouse apartment in New York with a view of Central Park. A modern and stylish holiday house right on the coast. The choice of a Ferrari or a Porsche to drive between them. He ate at all the top restaurants. He went to all the right parties. He wore all the latest fashions. And he had a bank account so fat he didn't need to work if he didn't want to. He had all his heart could desire, except for one thing: the woman he wanted. Because the woman he desired and indeed, loved, more than anything else was already married. And she refused to leave her husband for him.

Every time they saw each other, he would beg and plead. It was always the same promise, "Marry me, Wendy, and I'll give you the world." And each time, it was the same reply, "You know I care deeply for you, Rupert. But I can't leave my husband. Since his accident, he's become totally dependent on me. It would kill him if I left him. And I couldn't live with that."

Rupert was used to getting his own way. Usually his money and his power made things easy for him. He felt frustrated and bitter. He loved and desired Wendy. And he knew she desired him too. If it were not for her useless, crippled husband, he could have what he wanted. For once in his life, it seemed, money could not buy him happiness. But, maybe it could. His mind started to work.

Rupert knew that Wendy lived with her husband in a double story house in the suburbs. He knew the house well because sometimes he hid outside and watched them through the windows. He realised this was a clear sign of obsession but he could not help himself. He needed her like he needed oxygen. He knew that Wendy's husband, a university professor before his accident, now spent almost all of his time lost in research in his study on the second floor . He also had a fair idea of Wendy's comings and goings. He knew, for example, that she attended Yoga classes on Tuesday nights from 7:30 to 9:00 p.m. The plan in Rupert's mind started to take shape.

Two weeks later, on a Tuesday night, Rupert, dressed himself in old clothes. He wore a battered baseball cap on his head and several days of stubble on his face. He caught the train to the Bronx. It was a dirty suburb that he knew his rich friends would never think of visiting. He stepped off the train and walked to a crowded, seedy bar called "The Cock and Whistle." He sat at a table at the back of the bar and waited.

Ten minutes later, a small but muscular man sat down next to him. "Are you Mr Smith?" the muscular man asked with a quiet voice. Rupert felt a stab of anxiety pierce his chest. "Yes," he replied.
The man looked at Rupert with a calm stare, "Are you sure you want it done tonight?"
"Yes, I'm sure," said Rupert. "Do it like we said. Let yourself in at 8 p.m. Use these keys. You'll find him on the second floor. Do it quick. I don't want him to suffer. And make sure it looks like a robbery gone wrong."
"It will be done," said the quiet voice. "I'll meet you back here at nine o'clock. I expect you to pay me in full."

Rupert sat in his seat in the bar. Time stood still. He felt too anxious to eat or drink. He sat, lost in his thoughts. Apart from his anxiety, his emotions felt stifled. He felt like he was in someone else's body, somehow dissociated from himself. He stared at his watch, wishing time would pass.

9:00 came and went. Then 9:10. Rupert felt the anxiety writhe like a snake in his stomach. Then suddenly the short, muscular man was back in his seat. And he heard the quiet voice say, "It all went fine. He died quickly and painlessly."

Rupert's shoulders dropped and he breathed out slowly. His relief was tinged with a flickering of elation.

The short, muscular man looked at Rupert with his calm stare and said, "But there was one little problem. After I killed the guy in the study, some woman suddenly came into the room . Said something about coming home early because she was feeling ill. She was pretty surprised to see me, I can tell you. But don't worry, she won't cause any trouble. I killed her too."

21 August 2010

Just Good Friends

This is a story I remember reading as a child. I hope you enjoy my interpretation:

As usual, I wake up early and I gaze at the man who is sleeping next to me. He has such a kind, loving face, even when he sleeps, and I feel deep affection for him. It will be some time before he wakes. I let my mind wander and I remember back to how we met.

We met at a pub called "The Cat and Whistle" which I visited often. I was first attracted to him, not because he was good looking, but because he seemed kind and gentle. Every night, he used to sit at the same table alone and drink his beer and watch people playing darts.

Then one night, a blonde woman came and sat at his table and started talking to him. From then on, each night, they sat together. To be honest, I felt very jealous. Then after 20 days, they had an argument and she went away. I felt extremely happy. The next night, I went straight over to his table and I sat beside him. I fluttered my eyelids and he smiled at me. There was no need to talk. We were just two lonely souls connecting. Spontaneously, he put his out his hand and caressed my cheek. Later that night, it just seemed natural to leave with him. And we have been living together ever since.

We have never spoken about our pasts. And that is a good thing because life was very hard for me before we met. I am one of four and our father deserted us when I was very young. I had two babies of my own, but they were taken away from me. It is a very painful memory.

My attention comes back to the man sleeping next to me. I cannot imagine life without him. Suddenly the alarm goes and he wakes up. I pretend to be asleep and through closed eyelids, I watch him get out of bed. As usual he puts his foot into the wrong slipper and he groans. Then he turns round to me and says "Wake up, lazy bones!" but as usual, I roll over and lie in the warm hollow that his body has left. "I suppose you want me to get you breakfast in bed again, do you!" he says.

He walks out the bedroom and I can hear his footstep as he goes to the kitchen. Then, I can hear the clinks and clanks of him making breakfast. It's time to get up, I think. I leap out of bed and I go to join him in the kitchen. He is at the table, eating cornflakes from a bowl. "Nice of you to join me!" he says. He pushes my bowl over to me and I lap it up happily. It's not true that we cats only swish our tails when angry.

18 December 2007

14 Things we love and 7 things we love to hate about Australia

OK, so we have been living here for 18 months now and we are absolutely thrilled we moved here. Australia is a wonderful country to live in with so much going for it. Here is a list of things we love about it. And, for objectivity sake, a couple of things we love to hate. Hopefully it will act as an incentive for the rest of you to emigrate here as we miss you all!

Things we love

1. The beaches
Miles and miles of gorgeous golden sand, warm water, crashing waves - and plenty of different beaches to choose from. Some of our favourite beaches include Manly, Dee Why, Bondi (mostly for the beautiful people), the two mile beach in Port Douglas, Palm Beach (where they film Home and Away) and the mangrove fringed beaches of Cape Tribulation.

2. The Australians themselves
Friendly, laid back, full of fun - I cannot extol the personal qualities of the "Aussies" enough. We have felt nothing but welcomed by the locals since we arrived. I was terrified that we'd be treated as "Not another bloody South African clogging up our country" but there has not been even a hint of that. The Aussies have a great sense of humour, very similar to our own. And who couldn't love a nation of people who's national saying is "no worries mate." We have made some wonderful Australian friends already like Doug and Claudia who I firmly believe will be life long friends.

3. The migratory pull of Australia
Being the magnificent country it is, its been pretty easy (through our avid recruitment campaign) to attract some of our friends and family to share our lives downunder. Kerry, Ally's sister, has been here now for close to a year and hopefully she will stay. Brendan and Eva have returned here from Cape Town. Roger and Lucy have moved here from South Africa (now we just need to get them to move to Sydney from Melbourne). Andreas and his wife are emigrating here from the UK in March. Plus, thanks to the pull of Sydney, we have been graced with lots of visitors including Dorothy, Hubert and Martin. Mum and Mike, Colleen and Steve, Gabrielle and Hamish are all visiting early next year.

4. The local wildlife
There are amazing (and exceedingly strange) creatures to enjoy here including hopping kangaroos, cuddly koalas, chunky wombats and mischievous possums. Not to mention enormous fox-like bats and the extraordinary warm blooded duck billed platypus that lays eggs and has a bill like a duck. The birds are also great, including Aussie icons like the laughing Kookaburra, the enormous flightless Cassowary and the Splendid Lyrebird with its amazing mimicries. There are still over 550 birds that I have yet to see and I look forward to hunting them down during my life here.

5. The sunny weather
Australia comes with tons of sunshine and warm weather. The weather is just right for picnicing, lazing on the beach, hiking and generally enjoying the outdoors. I find sunshine makes such a difference to how I am feeling and am sure this one of the key causes of the sunny disposition of most Aussies. Even the winter here provides some gorgeous blue skies and warm weather.

6. Nature reserves and beautiful scenery
Australia seems to have more nature reserves than just about any other country I have visited. Its obsession with looking after what's left of its natural areas is admirable and as a result, there are a plethora of parks and reserves to go hiking in. This extends from reserves on the outskirts of the city like Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park to the mighty wetlands of Kakadu in the North (which I cannot wait to visit.)

We have loved visiting the parks in and around Sydney and our favourite so far is the Royal National Park which is the second oldest reserve in the world and contains forests and beaches and beautiful lagoons. Plus it's so big, you could get lost in it for weeks. And its only 30 minutes drive from Sydney. The Hawkesbury Reserve is also beautiful; a vast network of rivers that we explored in January this year. The reserves of the Blue Mountains also provide spectacular scenery, only a 90 minute drive from Sydney.

7. Place names
Would you like to live in Woolloomooloo? Or pehaps Turramurra or Barooga? Or Dunnydoo, Innaloo or "Come By Chance"? If that's not exciting enough, how about Burrumbuttock, Rooty Hill, Indented Head, Chinaman's Knob or Wet Beaver Creek? Yes, many towns in Australia have wonderfully strange names. Many of the stranger names have Aboriginal roots which adds to the allure and historic heritage. Being able to pronounce some of these names correctly definitely sorts the "fair dinkum" Aussies from the rest of us.

8. Sydney itself
Ah Sydney, what a glorious city! Graced with the likes of the Sydney Harbour and its distinctive bridge and the glorious Opera House (breathtaking beautiful at night). Not to mention a bevvy of great restaurants and hot night spots - and the amazing beaches of Bondi, Manly, Dee Why and lots of others. As described above, it is also interspersed with beautiful national parks and reserves that extend around the city like giant green lungs. The city is incredibly cosmopolitan too with a wonderful mix of Asian and European cultures that bring with it great benefits like authentic Yum Chow for breakfast and sublime sushi for lunch.

9. Plenty of job opportunities
Australia is booming at the moment economically thanks in no small part to rampant China. The extraordinary number of jobs available combined with a general skills shortage makes it very much an employee's market. Do a search at Recruit.net, for example, and you'll find over 6500 marketing jobs available. When I first looked for a job, I had 3 simultaneous job offers to decide between after a very short time. Not suprising that Australia has an unemployment rate of just 3%. All the big companies are literally crying out for people. A great position to be in if you are a job searcher.

10. The facilities
The facilities here are excellent and everything works like clock work. The public transport is wonderful and you get amazing personal touches like the bus drivers decorating their buses with tinsel and other Xmas decorations. Being able to commute to work by ferry and view the Sydney skyline every morning before work is also a very special thing. The big parks have inbuilt barbecues that you can use for free. And all the public loos are in excellent working order and you never need to worry that their won't be loo paper. Ah, you can't ask for more than that!

11. Fair Dinkum Aussie Sayings
You cannot help but love a nation that uses expressions like "arse over tit" (to fall over), "mad as a cut snake" (very angry), "sticky beak" (a nosey person), "budge smuggler" (speedo costume) , bush telly (camp fire), "as dry as a nun's nasty" (parched), "rip snorter" (fantastic), "root" (to shag), and "tall poppy" (a successful person). Very eandearing! For a full account of Aussie terms, see here.

12. The sense of space
Australia is an amazingly huge country. Not suprisingly, it's the largest island on the planet and the only island that is a continent. We have not visited the vast outback yet, but I hear its extraordinarily stunning with its enormous wide open spaces and parched red earth. This is where you will find Uluru, the world's largest rock. Huge it is; amazingly it extends 6 kilometers underground. Nothing is small about Australia.

13. Amazing seafood
The sea food here is absolutely wonderful. The Sydney Fish Market, just 10 minutes from where we live, offers gigantic prawns, mud crabs, lobsters and scollops - all at really reasonable prices. Once of our favourite rituals is to buy a kilogram of succulent tiger prawns and eat them cold with sweet chile sauce. Yummy beyond belief!

14. Amazing Fireworks
The Aussies love fireworks, particularly over their bridges. Come New Year's Eve and they unleash millions of dollars of fire rockets. The results are awfully impressive. We get to enjoy fireworks over the Opera House just about every second Saturday. And we love it.


Things we love to hate

OK, so its not all a bed of roses! There are some things that we are not too fond of...

1. Huge parking fines for trivial reasons
We have had to pay over $600 in parking fines in just 18 months. $150 for a single parking infringement is bloody steep in anyone's book. And the fact it's generally incurred for trivial things is salt in the wound.

For example, in Byron Bay, we failed to park at 135 degrees to the pavement as was the requirement (advertised on a tiny sign that was hardly visible). When we sent in a complaint to the authorities with photographic evidence of this, we got no joy back and had to pay.

The "no parking" sign outside Brendan and Eva's home in Mosman was even more obscure - tiny in size and hidden on a lamp post. When we failed to see it and parked directly along side their house, we got another $150 fine. Enough to cause the blood to boil and spoil the weekend. Eva and Brendan fell prey to exactly the same thing a few weeks prior to us.

The bottom line: when you park anywhere in Australia, always spend at least 5 minutes probing around for obscure parking signs. Becasue if you fail to follow them, know that there is a fanatical ticket officer just waiting to pounce.

2. No right hand turns
In just about every other country I have driven in, there is absolutely no issue with right hand turns. Simply indicate right and when the traffic thins out or the traffic light turns red, turn right across the traffic. Simple, right? But not here...

The Australian powers that be have an absolute phobia about anyone turning right across traffic. So everywhere that you could possible need to do such a manouvre, they have a big "no right hand turn" sign. Generally it means you need to do a doubly dangerous U-Turn so you can change the right turn into a left turn. Or drive for bloody ages so you can turn left into the next available street and then come all the way back. Enfuriating indeed!

3. Cheesey advertising and too much of it
Much of the advertising on the TV is highly localised. Lets say you have a store in Burrumbuttock and want to advertise yourself. With the technology at hand, you can purchase a TV ad spot at a low rate that will just show in the Burrumbuttock region. And because you don't have muich money, you can cobble together a very cheap advert. The bottom line: many of the TV ads here are highly irritating cheapies with no redeeming qualities at all.

To add insult to injury, the Australias interupt programs every 10 minutes. And each ad break can last at least 5 minutes. That means that a 90 minute movie lasts over 140 minutes. So irritating does it become that we have almost given up on watching TV altogether which is probably not such a bad thing.

Radio is even worse with tons of irritating ads. Even the traffic reporter does an ad recital after his regular traffic report. And the radio DJ's are paid to read out ads during their slot to make it sound conversational and not an ad. But an ad it is. So now we listen to CD's in the car, not the radio.

4. Politics
Australian politicians love nothing more than to slag each other off in the most vicious of ways. On TV and through political advertising, they veritably tear each other apart. It really is no holds barred. An Australian politician is far more likely to spend his 5 minutes in the limelight telling the world why his opponent is an absolute tosser than 5 minutes telling you what his policies are and why they are good. It's all really negative. Also, the government spends gazillions of tax payers' money each year running ads extolling their social programs. Which of course, adds to the advertising issue discussed above.

5. Dancing with the stars host
OK, so this is a trivial one but still... One of the TV shows that we kind of like is "Dancing with the Stars." We would probably watch it regularly if it weren't for its highly irritating host, Daryl Somers. For god sake, please put him out to pasture!

6. Highly poisonous creatures
Five of Australia's creatures - the funnel web spider, box jellyfish, blue ringed octopus, paralysis tick and stone fish are the most lethal of their type in the world. Australia is home to 10 of the world's 15 most venomous snakes. In fact, of Australia's 155 species of land snakes, 93 are venomous. The Australian Taipan is the most poisonous snake in the world with a lunge so swift and a venom so potent that your last mortal utterance is likely to be: "I say, is that a sn-" The bottom line? You need to be seriusly watch your back in Australia. The creepy crawlies can kill you!

7. Buying a house
Finding the right home is made rather difficult. Very few of the houses advertised actually have prices shown. So you never know if a house you are going to see is actually in your budget. You need to get this information from the estate agent when you see the house. How silly is that! Also, houses are generally only open for a 45 minute window on the weekends. So if you want to see 5 houses, you need to plan your trip like a military operation with 10 minutes in each place with lightning drives between houses. When it comes to looking at houses, I really miss the South African way - except for the exhorbitant estate agent fees.

Conclusion
I think you'll agree, the pros significantly outnumber the cons. If you'd like advice on how to emigrate to this wonderful country, just drop us a line :) If you are living in Australia and feel I have forgotten something in my lists, please leave a comment!

12 December 1988

Pompeii - The Final Day (Aged 17)

INTRODUCTION

“The great aim of archaeology”, Philippe Diole suggests, is to restore the warmth and truth of life to dead objects. “ Nowhere can that aim be better realized than at Pompeii. The following description makes this evidently clear:
“As my eye adapted to the dark, a pitiful cluster of skeletons emerged from the wet volcanic ash at my feet. They seemed to have been huddled together. Maggi is convinced they were a household in flight: seven adults, four children, and a baby lying cradled beneath one of the adults. The most striking skeleton lay with head buried, as if sobbing into a pillow. “Rick Gore (visitor to Pompeii)
Numerous scenes, such as the one described above, have been uncovered at Pompeii’s excavation site. Many are gruesome, others are particularly moving. All are tragic. Through them we have been permitted an intimate glimpse into the ways of an earlier people and much knowledge and insight have been acquired. It is Vesuvius whom we must thank. With her pumice and ash she achieved the impossible, bringing time to a virtual standstill. Thus she preserved Pompeii and brought her safe and intact into the twentieth century. And then, in the minds and imaginations of many, she was brought to life again.

“Blow on a man’s embers and a live flame will start, “ said poet Robert Graves. How true his words would prove to be. For at Pompeii, “the breath of science coaxes flames of knowledge from bare bones”. As Rick Gore says, “the dead do indeed tell tales at Vesuvius”. Life and death seem suddenly to be on intimate terms.

As a result of archaeological discoveries, we are able to reconstruct, in almost perfect detail, exactly what everyday life must have been like in Pompeii before the eruption. No mirror of the past could possibly be more vivid than the reflection offered us by this city.

But what of the actual day of the eruption; an August day when that whole busy world was brought to such an abrupt stop? Can it too be reconstructed? We know that the eruption itself occurred in the early afternoon, but what were people doing before then and what happened afterwards? These questions, and many others, fascinate me. It is difficult to answer them with any absolute certainty as the information available on the subject is often lacking. I do not believe this should be a deterrent for we should still be permitted to contemplate and fantasize. That is what I have done through this project. Using my imagination and all the archaeological evidence I can find, I have given my own personal impression of what life was like on that final tragic day.





THE FINAL DAY

Dawn on 24 August AD 79 broke like any other day. As the sun began her ascent, Vesuvius and her surroundings gradually lit up. It was a typical August morning. The air was warm and luminous and the sky was clear. In the distance, the Bay of Naples was blue and glassy calm. August was a hot month and the countryside was dry and parched. However, it had not lost any of its striking beauty. Cyprus trees dotted the landscape and in them birds sang, while along one of the roads in the area, a lone traveler covered the last stretch of his journey. His destination was Pompeii. A mule walked rhythmically beside him and as its hooves struck the dry path, puffs of dust rose into the air. Vesuvius looked down onto the scene, her imposing presence dominating all that was around her. Clothes in green olive groves and vineyards, she looked as majestic and noble as ever and the whole atmosphere instilled a feeling of peace. In fact, however, nothing could have been further from the truth.

For, beneath Vesuvius, huge violent forces were at work. Below her was a cavity, melted out of the hard rock. In it was a seething, bubbling mass of scorching, molten magma mixed with poisonous gases. Thousands of years before, this magma had been formed deep under the ground by the extreme heat of the earth’s interior and there it had been confined. Then, in an attempt at freedom, it had gradually melted its way upwards towards the earth’s surface. Not it was almost there. With great surges of energy, the gasses in the magma strained against the sides of the cavity in a frenzied attempt to blast open a vent in the mountain through which it could escape. Vesuvius strained under the tremendous pressure but continued to hold out. Occasionally the forces became so strong that the whole countryside trembled. It would only be a matter of time.

Blissfully unaware of Vesuvius’ agony, the slumbering town of Pompeii was on the verge of awakening. Along her narrow and almost deserted roads, a small band of sleepy-eyed clients made their way to their patron’s residence. In the patricians’ houses, slaves had already been up for hours, sweeping, dusting and polishing. Bedrooms were also alive with activity as maids groomed their ladies using combs, hairpins, mirrors and perfumes. Then, after the hair had been coiffured into elaborate styles, make up was applied – chalk and white lead to the skin, rouge to the lips and cheeks and black ash to eyelids and plucked eyebrows. The men of the houses had also awoken. A brisk wash with cold water, a simple attire and a hastily eaten light breakfast and they were ready to face the day. Then they went out to meet their clients who were waiting patiently.

Along the streets, the shopkeepers began to open their shops, preparing themselves for morning customers. Vendors, meanwhile, set up their make shirt stands and arranged their wares as always. There was nothing unusual about this day. It seemed destined to be like any other.

It is true that for several days now, mild earth tremors had been felt in the region, but in this zone they were not at all unusual. Besides, in comparison with the disastrous earthquake of 17 years earlier, they seemed slight and insignificant. The fact that the wells in the countryside had suddenly dried up was not a cause for concern. August was a hot and dry month and there was nothing rare about dry wells at that time of the year. It was to be expected and there was no shortage of water as an aquaduct from the mountains continued to supply it. Thus life went on as it always did.

Pompeii was in one of her gayest moods. It was the anniversary of the long dead Emperor Augustus and a festival celebrating this occasion had been in progress for days. Schools had been closed and, as part of the festivities, a series of plays was being held in the Theatre. Mornings were reserved for rehearsals. The festival attracted many to the city and as the morning progressed and the heat mounted, the roads leading to Pompeii began to stream with summer vacationers and peasants who had come to see the sights. Also present were numerous carts and other horse driven conveyances, each carrying commercial wares towards the city. One such cart was packed with fish, freshly caught near the Sarnus River mouth early that morning. Another contained olives and grapes, produced on a farm in the region.

Outside all the major gates of the city were lines of hawkers and vendors making the most of the good business. On sale were coral charms for potency, grapes, melons, glass trinkets, sulphur matches, sandals and shoes, votive images and numerous other items. Many of the produce carrying vehicles that arrived at the gates were too large to enter the narrow streets of the city. They were stopped outside and immediately a band of slaves set to work, unloading and transferring the cargo to smaller two wheeled carts and, in that form, it was delivered to its destination. The streets of Pompeii itself was bustling with activity. They were crammed with carts, litters, workmen, pedlars and citizens of every kind. All the shops had been open for hours and were displaying their wares while snack bars sold edible delicacies and hot drinks. Other shops selling grain, fruit and cloth also served customers. In one of the food shops, meat and poultry were suspended from the bar over the entrance and large earthenware pots, built into the counter of the shop, contained a variety of foodstuffs.

Along many pavements, street musicians played their instruments and the music they made, coupled with shouts of encouragement from passing pedestrians all added to the din and bustle.

In one of the streets, nestled between two shops, was a religious shrine. Above it were paintings of the Gods to whom it was dedicated and as people walked past, they offered sacrifices on a small altar. At the corner of the street, at one of the public fountains, poor women collected water in jugs while, nearby, a group of young boys waged mock gladiator fights.

In one of the many bakeries in Pompeii, an ass, its eyes covered by blinkers, plodded in endless circles as it turned a stone mill to grind flour. Braying in protest against its harness, it flicked away flies with its tail. In another room a baker kneaded dough into round loaves which he transferred into a hot oven. That the bread would turn out a success was assured – the phallic emblem over the oven would protect it.

Meanwhile, in all the small workshops, activity was at its morning peak. In cloth factories, women were weaving wool into material at the loom while fullers were busy at their vats, treating the cloth in solutions of pot ash, fuller’s earth and human urine, treading it under foot and finally stretching, brushing and trimming it into shape. Elsewhere mosaicists were busy with their tesserae – pieces of glazed stone and glass. Carpenters were hammering, sawing and shaping their wood with lathes. Marble workers were cutting and polishing polychrome marble and alabaster, while a tinker repaired a broken pot in his forge. A plumber plugged a leaking pipe and a wheelwright fixed a buckled rim.

The forum, busy as usual, was jammed with people who had come to do their chores or socialize. Ladies passed in litters borne by slaves or, if on foot, were protected from the sun by green parasols carried by their maids. Pedlars moved about bawling out the good value of their wares and next to one of the buildings, a professional scribe mounted a ladder to write a public notice on the wall. Along all the walls were numerous other written notices from past times. Games at the amphitheatre, forthcoming elections and theatrical plays were all advertised and graffiti had also been written, in a variety of scrawls, by ordinary citizens recording lost property and accommodation to let, amongst other things. There were also love messages, crude jokes and witty remarks galore.

Towering high above the scene rose the forum’s colonnades. Supported by columns of white marble, they surrounded the forum on three sides, giving it a characteristic narrow, oblong appearance. Below the colonnades, in their shadow, citizens mingled, enjoying relief from the heat, and hawkers set up their stands.

At every open entrance to the forum’s enclosure, rows of upright stones served as effective barriers to vehicles. Thus citizens walked without fear of being run over.

In the open part of the forum stood numerous statues of famous Romans and notable citizens. Among them a marble statue of a Roman senator on horseback glinted in the sunlight. Against it idlers lounged. Dead emperors looked down on them with fixed, lifeless stares.

Surrounding the statues stood temples dedicated to Apollo, Jupiter, Emperor Vespasianus and the city’s guardian spirits. These splendid buildings all added to the forum’s impressive façade.

The Basilica was empty because the law courts were closed during the festivities, but at its steps, gossip-mongers continued to gather. Other of the city’s buildings, including the town hall, treasury and the offices of chief magistrates were also closed.

In the north-eastern corner of the forum was the provision market. Its auction rooms were empty but butchers’ stalls, grocery and fruit shops were sill in operation. In the middle of the market’s porticoed space stood a twelve sided, domed building – the fish market. Inside the fishmonger gutted fish while, nearby, his helper prepared the first stages of his garnus sauce. First he mixed the entrails of sardines with finely chopped portions of fish, roe and eggs, then he pounded, crushed and stirred it into a homogeneous pulp.

Meanwhile, the men’s section of the forum’s baths had opened and assistants aided early comers to undress. Men lay down on marble slabs while slaves rubbed them down with oil scraping away impurities using blunt edged strigils. Nearby masseurs were hard at work, massaging skin and muscles. In the palaestra, naked men exercised in the sun, throwing balls, wrestling or fencing with wooden swords. All over, friends greeted one another with delighted shouts. The din was tremendous. In the caldarium, men sat or wallowed in steaming water while next door, in the frigidarium, a boy plunged into the circular bath of cold water. Nearby, a group of young bloods laughed over the latest amatory drawings on the white plastered walls.

As the morning lengthened, lunchtime approached. In patrician houses the slaves were busy in the shaded dining rooms, setting tables for the light luncheon that Romans preferred. The streets and forum gradually quietened as people left for their residences and the food that awaited them.

The inns and taverns around the city began to fill up. People from all the lower walks of the community gathered there to eat, drink, gamble and flirt with the slave girls who acted as waitresses. In rooms above the inns, ladies of easy virtue entertained their clients. The mood was festive and jolly.

Meanwhile the tinker had finished repairing his pot and was admiring his work. Elsewhere a man bit hungrily into a freshly baked roll. Suddenly, without warning, a violent crack split the air. The earth heaved and shook. Buildings swayed; tables collapsed and food spewed over the floors; statues and pillars toppled. The yellow sunlight turned abruptly to a grey overcast. Deafening roars reverberated around the countryside as people rushed, panic-stricken, into the street. Children wailed hysterically. Women screamed in terror. It was the seventh hour; the holocaust had begun.

The pressure of Vesuvius had reached climatic heights, so much so, that she had been unable to hold out. With an agonized, shattering, bull-like roar, she had exploded. Gases rushed through opened vents like water through a pipe. The newly formed crater vomited red hot boulders. Then followed a continuous rushing upward blast of friction pounded stones, cinders, ash and pumice. (1) Hurled into the air, the debris billowed into a gigantic mushroom shaped cloud which blocked the light of the sun. The world was plunged into darkness.

Then, overcome by its immense weight, the cloud scattered and opened up into branches which plummeted earthwards.

Next, the crater belched forth torrents of scorching steam which condensed and, combined with sea spray in the air, produced downpours which churned up the lava surface into a boiling mass of mud. This formed a torrid, treacly river which poured down the mountain into the countryside below. Meanwhile, showers of pumice were falling over Pompeii and red-hot, they burned or pitted everything they touched. Blackened stones and cinders, charred and cracked by the intense heat of the volcano, also rained down. Then came blankets of hot, suffocating ash and lethal gases.

Total chaos prevailed as hundreds of people rushed in the direction of the city gates and the open countryside beyond. Others hid in their houses, hoping that they would be safe, only to find that they were trapped. A few tried to save their precious belongings and paid for them with their lives while others frantically unharnessed horses and mules from carts and mounted them. All along the streets people collapsed under hails of pumice and were trampled in the darkness. The stench of sulphur permeated the air while ash clogged nostrils and mouths. A man fell to his knees and with his hands clasped over his face, choked to death. Nearby, a father lifted himself onto an arm and attempted to crawl towards his children but by the time he reached them, they had been consumed under a blanket of hot ash. All around pillars and masonry crashed to the ground.

In a certain house in Pompeii, the house of Euphebe, a man strained under the weight of his favourite statue as he frantically moved it from the garden to the atrium. There he covered it, protectively, in cloth. He died doing so.

Not far away, in the house of Cryptoporticus, a mother, with her tiny daughter in her arms, took refuge in an underground room. When it became unbearably hot, she squeezed through a skylight into the garden. There she was struck down, her child pinned underneath her.

Outside the house of Sallust, a mistress and her three maids fled for their lives, clutching jewellery, money and a silver mirror. As the mistress collapsed in a crumpled heap, the belongings she carried flew in all directions.

Meanwhile, in the house of Menander, slaves discovered that the front door was jammed. Realising that the roof was their only chance of escape, they charged for the stairs but ten died before they could reach them. The lone survivor made it to the second storey only to realize it was a death-trap. Desperate and panic stricken, he struck at a wall with a hammer in a frenzied attempt to break through but it was to no avail and eventually, he collapsed with exhaustion and death overtook him.

At a tavern, gladiators abandoned their drinks and fled for the gates, leaving their trumpets behind. They were more fortunate than over sixty of their colleagues who died in the gladiators’ barracks. Nearby, a man mounted a horse, already laden with clothes, food and valuables. With a pitiful scream, the horse toppled. Neither it, nor its rider ever rose again.

In a villa, just outside Pompeii, thirty four occupants took refuge in an underground vault. By taking bread, food and a goat with them, they prepared themselves for a long stay. And a long stay it was. For over 19 centuries passed before they emerged.

In one of the rooms of Publoius Paquius Proculus, seven children cowered in terror as the ceiling above them creaked and groaned under a tremendous strain. Suddenly it gave way and with a resounding roar, came down to meet them.

The Temple of Isis also began to collapse and priests grabbed priceless temple treasures and fled for safety. One fell at the corner of Via dell ‘ Abbondanza while the others managed to reach the triangular forum. There they were obliterated by crashing columns and their costly emblems scattered.

Nearby, in the house of Vesonius Primus, howls of agony and terror reverberated from wall to wall, as a dog struggled desperately against a chain. Through a hole in the ceiling, thick, hot ash showered into the room and piled up. Eventually, contorted in a grotesque position, the animal came to rest and was still.

In the southern part of the city, thousands of screaming, jostling people crammed through the gates and made their way towards the coast. Escape by sea was their only chance of survival. It was pitch black. Occasionally writhing, snake-like flashes of electricity darted across the sky, lighting the way, but only for seconds at a time. People collapsed like flies but many managed to struggle to their feet again and with desperate courage, they stumbled on, fighting exhaustion all the way …..

Hours had passed since the first violent crack had shattered the peace. Ash continued to rain down onto Pompeii in unrelenting showers but the terrified screams that had coursed through her were now silent. The frantic cries for help had ended. The hysterical crowds that had rushed, panic stricken, in all directions had disappeared. Even the bodies that had strewn the streets were no longer visible but covered under blankets of ash. No one stirred. Nothing moved. Pompeii was dead.

EPILOGUE

Daylight returned two days later. Only then was the shocking extent of the destruction revealed – the great cone of Vesuvius, that had stood so proud, was now a ragged stump. The countryside, once lush and green, and dotted with towns, farms and magnificent villas was a grey barren wilderness of ash. A deathly quiet hung over the land like a shroud. Where Pompeii had stood, only the tops of tall buildings and pillars emerged.

As the weeks passed, pathetic groups of survivors crept back to the site in search of the bodies of their loved ones and their lost possessions. They burrowed in the ash but it was to no avail. Eventually they went away to mourn.

Gradually, over the years, a new level of soil built up. The protruding ruins collapsed and Pompeii totally disappeared from sight. Slowly she was erased from human memory. The writings concerning her were lost or destroyed. Even her name was forgotten. It was as if the lost city of Vesuvius had never been.

9 September 1988

School Essay (age 17)

Science, Technology and a Limited Planet
G. Myburgh

In a topic of this nature, it is essential, I believe, to be objective. Writing as an individual human being, it is inevitable that one will be influenced by personal sentiment and the sentiment of others. This often blinds one from reality. We, as humans, were born into a modern technological world and we therefore, having never known it any other way, take the world as it is for granted. As a result, the true significance and seriousness of our situation is often not appreciated. It is far better to approach the subject as an outsider, free of all sentiment, looking down onto the world and human race from afar.

To see today’s technological world in the right perspective, it is essential to reconstruct what the world was like before. We know that man, whatever anyone may like to believe, had very humble origins. Homo sapiens evolved like all other plants and animals from simple organisms. This process took countless millions of years and he appeared in his present form only 2 million years ago. In early times, he was totally dependent on nature for his survival. He was, in fact, part of nature, just one of numerous species struggling to survive, that fitted into the world’s ecology. Nature was in perfect balance and all the world’s resources were constantly recycled so that nothing was ever lost. Then man gradually began to develop an awareness of his own self and an intelligence, greater than any other animal. As a result, he became very successful as a species and his numbers grew.

Then man reached a stage where he became ashamed of his origins. He refused to accept that he was just another species of animal and he chose to forget his part in nature. He covered his body, the body that nature had given him, with clothes and what is more, reminded him of his humble origins, such as sex and excretion, he became ashamed of. He eventually came to believe that he was totally above nature, convincing himself that the world had been created by a divine being and that, he himself had been placed on it with a special purpose. In other words, the earth and all that was on it, had been made specifically for him and his pleasure. He could do what he wanted with it. It was thus, that he began to plunder the earth’s resources, choosing to ignore all the natural laws that had dictated to him and all other species on the planet for so long.

And so came the era of science and technology. Man discovered immense new sources of power and he invented engines, electricity, machines, tools and numerous other things. Spurred on by his success, he became obsessed with his inventions and strove to discover more and more. Huge factories and industries came into being and man needed natural resources to feed his ambitions. These he plundered from the earth, snatching away vast quantities of coal, oil and timber. He took more and more but never bothered to put anything back and resources which had seemed limitless, rapidly dwindled. All natural laws he ignored and the delicate balances of nature, balances which had existed for millions of years, were shattered. But man did not see it. His obsession blinded him and drove him on. As he became more and more successful, he became more convinced of his superiority over all other species.

Man began to achieve his wildest dreams. He gained the power of flight and even managed to walk on the moon. He invented new warfare weapons, weapons which could destroy whole populations. He discovered medicine which could prolong human life so that everyone had the chance to suffer the indignities of old age – and man clapped his hands in glee and said proudly that he was bettering the quality of life, and as he said it, the world’s population soared and poverty, suffering and hunger increased to staggering proportions. As the population grew, man’s cities spread out; huge grotesque worlds of concrete and steel which devoured everything in its path, including natural ecosystems which had taken millions of years to develop. Pollution levels also rose as man pumped deadly chemicals into the atmosphere, soiled the rivers with his filth and the sea with his oil.

Then some individuals opened their eyes. They saw how man was ignoring all natural laws, how he was destroying the balances of nature which had to be maintained for the survival of all species. They saw how he was devouring the earth’s precious resources and how his population was rising – and they realized that he was approaching disaster. They cried out in warning and asked him to consider the future, if not for himself, then for his children – but he was too concerned with his own ambitions. Many did in fact, express concern, but they allowed themselves to forget and they did nothing. Some also believed that it was not their problem and that when man did pay the consequences for his actions, they would be in the safety of their graves. Many simply did not appreciate the seriousness of the situation and others still, believed that after the world had been so badly misused as to be rendered inhabitable, a supreme, loving God would step in to save them from all peril.

In conclusion, we are compelled to ask the question, “What is the solution?” That we cannot say however we can step in the right direction. First we have to realize that, as humans, we are solely responsible for our problems and it is ultimately we who must pay the consequences. We also have to stop denying that anything is wrong with our planet. Unless we acknowledge that the problem exists, we cannot solve it. We must also curb our arrogance and cease feeling superior to nature. There is no denying we are part of it and it is in this field that our main responsibilities lie. Responsibilities which we have shirked for far too long. Ignoring nature’s basic and logical principles and laws is, I believe, our ultimate failure. We must conserve what we have, not just for our children but also for the human race as a whole and for all the other species which share our limited planet.

12 December 1987

Trip to Victoria Falls and Botswana (Okovango, Chobe, Savuti) (Age 16)

In Standard 9, I went on school trip to the Okovango swamps in Botswana.  There were 9 of us packed into the back of a smallish camping van and we drove all the way up North to Botswana and Chobi and Victoria Falls.  There was one very memorable night when our wheel came off our car and we were left stranded in the desert.  I absolutely loved my time in Botswana and Zimbabwe and saw many new birds including "Jesus birds" than walk on water over water lilies, huge Marabou storks and brilliantly coloured Carmine bee-eaters.



Here is a letter I wrote about the experience



Dear Uncle Jack and Nancy,

Thank you so much for the money which you sent for Christmas. I really appreciated your generosity. With it, I plan to purchase a light metre for my camera, an instrument which should greatly improve the standard of my photographs. I promise, therefore, to dedicate my first really successful photo to you and I will send you a copy of it!

We had a lovely peaceful Christmas this year. I hope you did too. As we have done in the past and since I can remember, we did it in traditional family style. Our grandparents came to our house in the early morning and we all opened presents together. It is always a very cosy and cheerful occasion and I love it. Then, in the afternoon, we went to friends and stayed with them for a delicious turkey dinner which I thoroughly enjoyed.

In my last letter, I told you that I was going on safari to the Okovango Swamps in Botswana and if you are wondering how it went, it was as fantastic as I had anticipated. There were twelve of us who went, just about all teenagers. On the morning of departure, we all crammed believe it or not, into a small land rover and left for the Swamps, a good 2000 miles away. Although conditions were a “little” cramped, they were enjoyable and we all soon became very good friends. The friendly spirit formed in the first couple of hours of traveling persisted throughout the safari.

As was to be expected, not everything ran smoothly. Botswana is very much a third world country and 90% of it is totally undeveloped. On many occasions we travelled for a good 24 hours without seeing any trace of civilization! On the third day of our trip, we were travelling through a particularly isolated part of the country when, horrors of horrors, the wheel and wheel cap of our vehicle came off! Needless to say, we were in a real fix. We discovered that new parts were essential for the vehicle’s repair and with no town within 50 miles of where we were, that posed a little bit of a problem.

It was 9 o’clock at night when this happened and so we were left with no alternative but to set up tents on the side of the road and sleeping there for the night, see what morning had to bring. It was pitch black and we could not see what we were doing so pitching tents was a real performance. We were right in the middle of doing so when someone remarked casually that he had felt something brush against his bare foot. I in turn said that now he had mentioned it, I had had a similar experience. Everyone grabbed for torches at the same time and general chaos prevailed. Eventually the ground was illuminated and the most gruesome awful sight met our eyes!

The whole place was wriggling and crawling in huge scorpions, each the size of a human hand and equipped with a deadly sting. We stood rooted with fear before charging for the safety of the vehicle. Here we put on shoes and trousers and then emerged for a great battle. In the ensuing struggle, 98 scorpions were killed and only one of our men was injured. He received a sting on his little toe. He had to receive serious medical attention with a twig between his teeth and 2 pretty girls holding his hands, someone set to work on his toe. It was sliced open with a sterilized blade and the blood (mixed with the poison) was made to flow out. Then a bandage was tied around it and pain killers were administered. We spent the rest of the night trying to keep scorpions out of the tents and our sleeping bags! Needless to say, we were relieved when day broke. The road on which we had broken down was, we were thrilled to discover, a main road and for Botswana relatively busy. Not that that is saying much! In the entire time that we sat on that road (+30 hours) only 5 cars passed us!

Ted, our safari leader, hitched a lift to the nearest town, the broken wheel under his arm and we were left to wait for his return. We had a rather uncomfortable day with temperatures soaring to above 1030F. Ted arrived back late that night, having hitched a lift from the town in a huge truck. After a struggle to get the wheel back on, we were on our way again. From here we made our way to the Swamps where we changed our form of transport from land rover to canoe.

We spent 3 glorious days here, exploring the huge network of waterways that make up the Okovango. The canoes took the form of dug-out tree stumps (but they were remarkably stable and we didn’t capsize the whole time). They were pushed along by the local tribesmen of the area who used long poles instead of oars. These traditional canoes are called Makuras, incidentally and have been used by the Tswana tribes as a method of transport for hundreds of years. Although they were primitive, they were extremely comfortable. Each held 2 people and 1 pusher.

Being pushed along in this manner is an incredible experience and one which you have to try personally to really appreciate. The makura moves so smoothly over the water’s surface and everything is so quiet and still that you are filled with a deep peace. You just lie back and try to take in the whole atmosphere. Above you, the majestic fish eagle soars and his wild cry fills the whole area, a cry which is appropriately called “the voice of Africa”. It’s all a really amazing experience.

On one such occasion, we were in the canoe, when it suddenly came to a jarring halt. Disturbed from our peaceful slumbers, we looked up at the driver, wondering why we had stopped. The normal complexion of the Tswana tribesman is charcoal black but we were amazed to see that now the driver was as while as a sheet. We looked around for the cause of his terror but could see nothing. The driver then managed to gasp the words “Puku, Puku” and he pointed straight ahead.

There was a huge splash and we could just make out the shape of an enormous crocodile as it submerged and swam under our boat and disappeared into the reeds. The driver then proceeded to get us as far away from this spot as possible in the shortest time imaginable. From that time onwards, we kept our arms well clear of the sides of the canoe.

The water of the Okovango is actually crystal clear and very clean and when we came to a shallow spot, uninhabited by crocodiles, we were able to swim. It was especially enjoyable playing “touch rugby” in the water and we did so with some of the Tswana teenagers of our own age. We didn’t have a rugby ball with us and so used oranges instead – needless to say they became very soft and squelchy after a while!

Anyway, all in all, I had a fantastic time and arrived back home safe and sound only 2 days before Christmas.

I hope you are well and that the awful weather conditions there are improving.

Keep well and God bless.



New birds I saw


Okavango
  • African golden oriole
  • Arnot's chat
  • Arrowmarked babbler
  • Bearded woodpecker
  • Black cuckooshrike
  • Blackchested prinia
  • Blackheaded oriole
  • Broadbilled Roller
  • Burchell's starling
  • Cardinal woodpecker
  • Crested barbet
  • Glossy starling
  • Great White Egret
  • Greater Honeyguide
  • Greybacked bleating warbler
  • Greyhooded Kingfisher
  • Ground Hornbill
  • Hadeda Ibis
  • Hamerkop
  • Hartlaub's babbler
  • Knobbilled duck
  • Lesser honeyguide
  • Lesser Jacana
  • Little Bee-eater
  • Longtailed shrike
  • Longtailed wagtail
  • Marabou stork
  • Meyer's Parrot
  • Pintailed wydach
  • Pygmy Goose
  • Redbacked shrike
  • Redbilled buffal weaver
  • Redbilled helmetshrike
  • Redbilled oxpecker
  • Saddlebilled stork
  • Scarletchested sunbird
  • Wattled Crane
  • Whiteheaded vulture
  • Yellow white eye
  • Yellowbilled oxpecker

Chobe
  • African Green Pigeon
  • Carmine Bee-eater
  • Heuglin's robin
  • Redfaced Mousebird

Savuti
  • Lilacbreasted Roller
  • Redbilled Francolin
  • White helmetshike
  • Woollynecked stork
  • Yellowbilled stork

Victoria Falls
  • Blackcollared barbet
  • Collared palm thrush
  • Golden weaver
  • Gymnogene
  • Namaqua Dove
  • Redbilled Wodhoopoe
  • Rock Pranticole
  • Trumpeter Hornbill
  • Whitefronted bee-eater

Zimbabwe

  • Blackcollared barbet
  • Whitefronted bee-eater
  • Namaqua Dove
  • Gymnogene
  • Trumpeter Hornbill
  • Rock Pranticole
  • Collared palm thrush
  • Golden weaver
  • Redbilled Wodhoopoe
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