A walk to the waterfall at Storms River National Park

The Storms River National Park is one of my absolute favourite places in the whole world. There is something about its rugged coastline, pounding waves and thickets of evergreen forest that speaks directly to my soul.  I could visit a thousand times and not grow bored.  Chrisèl feels the same way, so needless to say this was our first stop after coming off the Tsitsikama Hiking Trail.  

We did a gorgeous walk along the first section of the Otter Trail, following little yellow footprints along the coast, to a beautiful pool and waterfall.  I've been to this place several times in the past, but never with the sun shining as it was, so it was an absolute delight to jump into the invigoratingly icy pool and swim under the waterfall, letting the strong pressure of it massage our shoulders and backs.  One of those priceless moments of aliveness that makes life worthwhile.

Then we walked back (getting tricked up a steep flight of countless steps that required backtracking when we realised we were on a path to nowhere) and then walked along the boardwalk to the Storms River suspension bridge.  As usual, the dassies were out and gave us a good showing.

We then finished the day with a delicious meal (succulent pork ribs and Malva pudding for me) at the Storms River Park restaurant, enjoying the stunning views from the outside deck.

Then to Tsitiskama Backpackers for the night.  Great to get back into the South African backpacking scene - I'd forgotten just how great South African backpacking hostels are.

Chrisèl at the start of the walk (also the official starting point of the famous Otter Trail.)

Following the coastal path ...

... past rugged rocks and lovely tidal pools ...

... and rocks festooned in bright orange lichen.

The destination of our walk: a stunning waterfall and rock pool right on the sea's edge.

My first leap after my numb feet episode. 

On the way back, the mist descended. Beautiful.

Our next stop was The Storms River Suspension Bridge, another place I love.

The dassies were out as usual and remarkably brazen.  Here's one on the picnic table!

Finally, we had a lovely meal at the Storms River restaurant.  How is that for a view!

Doing 3 days of The Tsitsikama Hiking Trail

I did 2 days of the Tsitsikama Hiking Trail with my family, Chrisèl and some friends from the hiking group. It was a trip down memory lane as I did the 5 day Tsitisikama Hiking Trail 25 years ago as a university student (my first ever multi-day hike) and it was wonderful to awaken treasured memories. 

Our hike was a bit different to the usual as huge rains had washed away some of the trails the week before, making our original route impassable.

On the first day, we did a short hike to the first hut from beautiful Nature's Valley. Then, on the second day, we did a 16 km hike through mountains and forest to the stunningly located Bleaaukrantz Hut.  On the third day, we left some of our group (who went on to do the rest of the hike) and hiked to the road where we drove to Storms River.   We then hiked to Sleepkloof, the final hut of the trail where we swam, relaxed and overnighted before hiking back to Storms River the next day.

Some highlights of the hike ...

• Getting to chat up a storm with my wonderful friend, Chrisèl, on the drive to Nature's Valley and catching up on all her adventures in South Africa.
• Arriving at the first hut after a 4 km hike to discover that the others had got there effortlessly by doing a short paddle across the river.  Still, I needed the warm up for the hike to come.
• Finding a large message created on a beach with driftwood saying, "Will you marry me?" and Matt not allowing the other kids to collect it as firewood, saying it wouldn't feel right.  That touched me a lot.
• The view of Nature's Valley lagoon after a stiff climb on our second morning.  
• My elation when I realised that my weak and numb feet and legs had regained much of their strength and I would be able to do the hike.  Originally I didn't think I'd be up for it and the plan was for me to drive into the huts with the forest rangers each evening.  It wouldn't have been the same!
• Some invigorating swims in the river pools along the way, especially climbing down to swim in a gorgeous pool at the top of a high waterfall.
• Hiking through the forests for which the Tsitsikama area is famous.
• The amazing location and views from Beaauwkrantz Hut, overlooking a valley with stunning mountain scenery.
• Not having to carry all our food on the hike as the forest department now drives it in for you each evening. So we ate lots of delicious food, including gourmet burgers and a big braai. So different from my experience of the trail 25 years ago when we carried 5 days of food on our backs and ate nothing but dehydrated toppers!
• Seeing a genet (my first ever sighting of one.)
• Seeing Knysna Louries (Now know as the Knysna Turaco.)
• Sleeping under the stars and enjoying serenity and peace - unlike those kept awake in the hut by snoring, creaking bunks and kids falling out of bed!
• Our lovely group including MaryAnn, Penny, Barbara, Renen, Paul & Adele and family, Piet and Ronnel and their two daughters, Stuart and his lovely family. 
• Wonderful chats with Renan about Tai Chi and yoga and Stuart about the environment.
• A delicious red cappuccino and spinach quiche at the Mug and Bean at the Storms River Petropoort.
• Paul lugging up the hill with a big backpack (laden with the baggage of his family, saying "I feel like a donkey!"

A beautiful view of the Nature's Valley lagoon after a steep climb from our first overnight hut.

Jo and Chrisel at the top still looking remarkably fresh.

Me, ecstatic that my feet were strong enough to take me up the hill without any trouble.  So wonderful to be hiking again!

Beautiful mountains on our way to Blaauwkrantz, our hut on the 2nd night.

Getting into the Tsitsikama forest and enjoying some welcome shade.

Stopping off at a pool on the way. Some of us were crazy enough to swim in the freezing water but Matt wasn't falling for that!

A view of the Bleaauwkrantz Bridge.

Blaauwkrantz Hut was situated in the most amazing location ...

... with sublime views over the valley ...

... and the surrounding mountains.

More scenes from Blaauwkrantz Hut.  Such a stunning spot!

The sun set ...

... and we settled down for an evening meal of gourmet hiking burgers, driven in by the forestry department.  Now that's what I call glamorous hiking!

What would camp life be without a fire?

The hike provided some idyllic and very invigorating swimming spots along the way.

I just LOVE this photo taken by Jo.  Best photo taken on the hike I reckon.

Sleepkloof, our hut on the final night, also had a lovely setting, next to a river with swimming holes... 

... also with beautiful views over the mountains.

Lots of plants and fungi along the way ...

... and some gorgeous flowers, including proteas.

Another amazing photo taken by Jo.

It was awesome to share the hike with Sam and Matt, my niece and nephew...

... who both loved the hike despite the marauding mosquito who gave them some nasty bites.

Jo and Chrisel having fun.  It was wonderful to spend time with Chrisel again after not seeing her for over 6 months.

My lovely family ...

... and other friends from our hiking group.

A map of the hike

Affirmation (2015)

Proud

• Setting up mum and Jo's computers.
• Jo. Everything suddenly feels right with world now Graeme is back.
• Lamb meal for family
• Chrisel: Snap back quickly
• Being present shopping with Chrisel (difference!)
• Lazerquest & Volleyball
• Telling stories (Brendan & Eva, Eckhart)
• Help with Chris speech
• Editing Chris's photo

Photography

• Just went through all the posts from this trip, and it is perfect in every way.  Love the photogenic rocks at Sleepy Bay and Wineglass bay (great use of the wide angle!); the humorous shots; interesting fauna and flora; amazing coast and colours at Cape Tourville; dramatic and moody misty effects at Cathedral Rock; Tarn Shelf remains a big favourite for me - great use of reflections and beautiful compositions; still think the wombat can win a beauty contest (and cute photo scratching its butt!) and Dove Lake boathouse reflection also a favourite (but not my only one!)  Awesome effort.  Elna 
• Wow, these photos and the layout really are amazing.  Definitely worth the time and effort.  I now really want to set up my blog (and of course copy all these photos into it). I must get onto that soon.  I've started learning french online so that's one new years resolution started. I'll have to get onto this one now.  Elizabeth  
• Elna on Cradle Mountain:  Just gorgeous, stunning, breathtaking. Words are totally inadequate.
• Srini on The Tarn:  Time and again you come up with classic stuff and a great inspiration for the next one's !!!!
• Hubert Widjaya:  Mate your photography is STUNNING! Have you ever worked as a photographer? (Tarn Shelf)
• John William (on Kuz)   Graeme I just read your Blog and nearly wet myself when you described your middle of the night puddle  Your photos are unbelievable.
• Sara Modirzadeh (on Kuz)   Thanks Graeme for these nice photos, I can watch them again and again.

Easter with the family

The highlight of Easter for me was hiding eggs for the kids in the garden. I hid some in the car too and then hid the keys to the car in the garden too.  So much fun!  

Last year, I hid eggs in the house and some of the eggs remained hidden until they were found 10 months later.  But not the one I hid in the toaster (the smell of burning plastic made sure of that; maybe not the best hiding place! )  I wonder how many eggs remain yet unfound this year?  The gardener may find he has a bumper year for chocolate!

Then the Boting clan came round for a delicious Easter lunch.  Followed by dinner at Col’Cacchio.  Needless to say, by the end of the day I was stuffed!

Some videos with Matt

So wonderful to be with the family again.

This photo was taken underwater with Matt's super duper underwater camera.

A hospital adventure

I just got back from 4 days in hospital with sudden numbness and weakness in my feet and lower legs and partial toe paralysis in left foot. What a tumultuous time.  Here are some "highlights" from the experience, taken from messages with my "hiking gang" and emails with family.


Monday, 8 March

2 pm
Graeme:  I would love to come climbing tonight but I'm in emergency right now with numb feet and legs. Can't move some of my toes :(   Quite scary!  Please send me lots of positive, healing vibes.

3 pm
Graeme:  Just got prodded and poked all over. It's not a mini stroke which I most feared. Might be my back. The doctor seems pretty perplexed!! Thanks for positive thoughts. Just trusting it will all end up ok. A great reminder not to take my legs for granted. They're such a gift.  Now waiting for a CT scan on my lower back.

Elizabeth:  Have you had a CT scan before?  Are they injecting you with a dye. It makes you feel so weird- warm and tingly. My 6 yr old had to have one not long ago as well. She was fine.

Graeme:  Yes. I had no idea there was an injection into the spine involved though. Yikes!!  I hate needles :(

Elna: Be brave, you can do it!

Graeme:  I suppose if a 6 year old girl can do it without a whimper, I shouldn't make too much of a fuss...

Elizabeth:  Yes and I had to have an injection in my spine while I was have massive contractions 30 seconds apart and I wasn't allowed to move a mm. So yes I'm sure you'll be fine.

Graeme:  Ok I'm up for it then!  Bring it on!!!  I'm not even going to ask for a twig to bite down on. Just for a pretty nurse to hold my hand.

Elizabeth:  Haha. Hope it's a female nurse.

Elna:  Just don't crush her delicate hand, oh big brave strong warrior!

5 pm
Graeme:  The nurse who took me to cat scan was cute, gorgeous even, with a sweet American accent. But there was no needle. I almost felt cheated!!!

6 pm 
Graeme:  A doctor just showed the pretty American student nurse how to take blood. Using me as a pin cushion!  He obviously wanted to impress her and got flustered, had to do three attempts!!  I didn't want to increase his stress so managed to stay lighthearted about it. Ah, the effects of a pretty girl on us poor males. Such performance pressure.   Brain scan next!

8 pm

Graeme:  Having an MRI tomorrow. Have to stay overnight. Spine ok in the CT scan. Thanks for all your healing vibes. Battery about to die.

Tuesday, 9 March

5 pm
Graeme:  Hi guys. Sorry about the black hole. I did indeed run out of battery and finding a charger proved really hard!!!  I'm doing ok, been a bit of a drawn out day. The highlight again has been being the test dummy for student doctors. All so sweet. So much to remember under pressure, I would have sucked at it!

Elna:  You must be bored to tears. Do you need reading materials? Soduko? Porn?  (if so speak to Gavin)  :)

Graeme:  Ha ha!  Yes, several doctors asked me if I'd lost any feeling in that part of my body. Concerned me greatly!  First thing I checked when I got back to ward!!

Elna:  Discreetly I hope!!!

Graeme:  Discretion is my middle name :)

Zante:  G, I work in the city so it's no bother for me to visit. I'll pop in this eve. If you do think of anything need or want let me know.

Michelle:  Hi Graham I have something on tonight so can't visit - sending some healing wishes instead. If they want to poke and prod you for another day I'll bring you some real food.

Elizabeth:  Hopefully you'll be home soon. But if you unluckily are still there Friday I can come in during the day or even come by your place of you need help with anything. Sending lots of prayers your way.

Zante:  Srini and I are on our way, with a care package of assorted snacks and porn ;)

Graeme:  Thanks so much. Friends simply don't come any better than all you guys. Love is not a strong enough word!

Wednesday, 10 March

Graeme:  Heard via the grapevine my MRI scan is ok, so no back issue. Had nerve shocks and needles in my muscles today. Ouch!  It's my peroneal nerves that have been effected, though no one sure why. There's good hope they could recover in 4 - 6 weeks. Fingers crossed!!  I'll never take my legs for granted again!  Hopefully go home today and cuddle Mack!!


Thursday, 11 March

Graeme:  I've discovered I'm staying another night. Tomorrow I'm getting assertive about going home. Every night at midnight and 4 am they wake me up and ask me my name and the name of the Australian prime minister!!!!  If I have to say the word "Tony Abbott" many more times, I'm going to go demented !


Friday, 12 March

Graeme:  I'm loving the freedom of being home and cuddling up to the Mackster!!  Thanks guys for all your well wishes and positive vibes and visits and gifts. You've all helped me enormously to keep my spirits up. I've got a few more tests to go out of hospital for a couple more potentials. If those are clear, I can fly to South Africa on Sunday next week into the warm bosom of my family as planned. Hopefully within 4 - 6 weeks I'll recover my strength. My first successful hike after all this is over is going to be a very joyous and emotional experience!!!  Hope to share it with you guys.


Friday, 12 March

Message to Matt (my cousin)

Yes, I'm so happy!!  Great to be free again. My legs are still weak (will take at least a month to get strong again) but my spirits are high. 

I often get stressed by little things and this experience has given me great perspective.   There are two secrets to life I've realised: 1 Don't sweat the small stuff. 2. At the end of the day, it's all small stuff!!!!  

Can't wait to see you, counting down the days.

Saturday, 14 March  

Email to Trish (my aunt who is a physiotherapist)

Thanks so much Trish.

Yes, it has been a rather tumultuous experience!  If I come out of it ok, a very beneficial one though. Nothing like this to give you perspective and remind you what's truly important in life and not to stress about the small things.

I had nerve tests done (EMG with current on nerves and needle in muscle), and it showed some weakness, and slight difference between legs (left worse than right, though both effected.)  They did say though it was a bit early for the tests to be really useful or definitive.

The prognosis is good. Neurologist seemed to think there's good chance of recovery after 4 - 6 weeks, though he's stumped as to cause. He says it's certainly not a severe case.  Fingers crossed as you know how important my hiking is.  My first successful hike after this is all over will be a very joyous and emotional experience!

Thanks for the recommendations. Will follow those.

If all tests this week come out ok, then I can think of only 2 possibilities - virus or repetitive stress syndrome.  On the latter, I noticed in last couple of days that I carry a lot of tension in my feet when I work at the computer!  Often scrunch my toes up and tense my feet. Subconscious until now.  I've heard RSS can come on very suddenly. It's a far shot, but possible I suppose?  My body's way of telling me to stop. Or maybe even a combination of virus and RSS, virus attacking weakness...

I'm keeping a spreadsheet to track patterns in numbness, weakness and discomfort. Helping me feel more in control and might prove useful to doctors,

Will definitely give you a shout as things come up.  A skype call may well in in order in next couple of weeks.

My main concern in the shorter term will be how much exercise to do. Whether I should give legs and feet complete recovery for a while.  Or keep up some gentle walking (very tiring at the moment).  And do some exercises to keep calves from wasting.

Also, whether I should prepare myself for some pain as part of recovery process.  The weird thing there is almost no pain at present, though not complaining!  This can be a very painful condition, I've heard.

Thanks for being there,
G

Saying farewell to Mike before he flies to the UK for 8 weeks after Andrew passes away

Thanks for the photos, Jo.

Mystical experience: The form I temporarily take

I had such a deep, profound experience tonight while listening to music. I felt so much love that I thought my heart would burst. I just cried and cried. Then, I felt moved to write down some of what I sensed so deeply. 

---

Consciousness is timeless and formless. Consciousness is no-thing. Consciousness is everything that is.

This form named "Graeme" is a creation (expression) of Consciousness. Just as this time based universe of form is a creation of Consciousness ...

- A way for Consciousness to experience itself through form.

- A way for Consciousness to delight in the universe of form it has created.

- A way for Consciousness to experience itself in a world of duality...  to experience itself as the light it is in a relative world of light (it) and dark (absence of it).

- A way for Consciousness to create; for Consciousness is infinitely creative.

- A way for Consciousness to awaken to itself.

Consciousness is pure Love. Underneath this world of form, there is nothing but PURE LOVE.

Knowing this is to fall into a sense of pure trust and peace that All is well, that All is perfect, that All is as exactly as it should be.

The "I" named Graeme is an illusion. A fantasy created by the mind. Letting go of that illusion allows Consciousness to wake up through this form named Graeme.

When the mind of this form lets go and pure awareness emerges, it is Consciousness itself that is aware through this form.

When the mind lets go and there is a deep wonder and love for it all, it is Consciousness itself delighting in the world through this form.

When the mind lets go and creativity and inspiration flows, it is Consciousness itself creating through this form.

This form named Graeme (including it's mind and ego) is perfect for Consciousness to experience what it is here to experience.

When the mind of this form loses itself completely in thought, judgement, fear, pride, guilt, shame or anger, Consciousness becomes trapped in that and "falls asleep"  until awareness re-emerges and it wakes up again.

This form named Graeme is not unimportant or immaterial.  Quite the opposite.  It's a perfect expression of Consciousness.  Perfect in every way for the divine purpose of Consciousness to unfold.  Wondrous and miraculous. Vital and precious beyond words. Honour this form.  While letting go of all attachment to it and identification with it.

The intention of this form named Graeme is to let go of the mind and ego to become pure awareness.  To allow Consciousness to wake up to itself.   To become an open space for Consciousness to flow into the world.  A space for Consciousness to delight in the world.  A space for Consciousness to create.  A space for love, compassion, kindness, wonder, inspiration, peace, and joy to flow.

---

One of my intentions on my spiritual journey is to let go of the mind-made sense of "self".  The "story of me" that the mind creates. After all, it's just a carefully edited, selectively remembered fantasy.  An illusion that exists only as thoughts. It is not Who I Am. And in my experience, the more I attach to that story and get my identity from it, the less Consciousness is able to flow through the form.  Because with it inevitably comes energies like guilt, shame, desire, pride and fear, all of which "suck up" Consciousness rather than allowing it to flow into the world.

To give up the mind made sense of self is to become a Space that allows Consciousness (The real Self that I Am) to flood through.  And with it flows inspiration, wonder, compassion, peace and most of all, Love, for the benefit of all.

Having said this, "I" have temporarily taken on a form. The form "I" take has a body and a mind.  All inherited. All perfect creations and expressions of Consciousness. All created for the divine purpose of the universe to unfold.  Especially for the purpose of Consciousness to awaken to itself in this world of form.  Even the ego I have inherited (seen by some as the "enemy") is perfect for Consciousness to experience what is wishes to experience, until I am able to let it go.  And as  Eckhart says "Without the ego, there would be no awakening."

When I am able to honour the form I temporarily take, and feel a sense of wonder in it, as a perfect expression of Consciousness and a way for the universe's divine purpose to unfold - but without getting my sense of identity from it - then letting go of the little self and awakening to the real Self becomes easier.

The beautiful art of Elaine, Mike's very talented sister

Another photo (a collage this time) of Jo's features in the headlines