Hello beautiful family and friends
I want to express my deepest gratitude for all your amazing support during the last two weeks: all your well wishes, phone calls and visits, prayers and positive vibes, words of encouragement. To Matt for ensuring I came home to such an immaculate room. For listening to my strange ramblings before I went in; especially Liza, Matt & Sharmista, Shushann, Nic and Srini!
In a nutshell, for all the love and caring you all showed in so many ways. It was yet another beautiful reminder to me of how absolutely priceless friendship and human connection is. I appreciate your love and care and support more than I can express.
I want to express a particularly deep public thank you to Craig. Oh my goodness, where do I start, Craig? I can't tell you how extraordinary your support was. You were literally my rock during this often uncertain and scary experience. Thank you for looking out for me when I was showing warning signs, for getting in touch with the hospital, for all your immense wisdom, for the perspective you gave me, the advice you brought, for your numerous visits, for bringing all my stuff to me, for the nuts and priceless letters from home, for taking me out on walks. And for your constant peace and calmness which was like a soothing balm.
But most of all, thank you for keeping everyone in the loop the way you did. For reassuring my mum and sister who felt so helpless and far away. For hunting down hard to get info from the doctors and sharing that, for all your emails and all the calls you made. You were a priceless gift to my family especially. Without you, they would have been absolutely frantic with worry.
As you all know, I'm home now. Apart from the worry it's caused all of you, I'm grateful for the experience. It's given me some priceless insights into a condition I've had since I was a child. It's brought home powerfully the importance of looking after myself: living life slowly, getting lots of sleep, nourishing food, exercise, walks, connection. It's given me a renewed appreciation of the immense freedom I enjoy in my life and all the little things that I realise aren't little. It's given me the incentive to do some therapy to sort out some fears I woke up to. Allowed me to get off medication I've been wanting to get off for ages. And brought home the realisation I don't need to feel shame or pretend to be "well" if I'm experiencing emotional difficulties from time to time. That is such a relief, such a freedom.
I look forward to catching up with all of you. And embracing and sharing the adventure of life that I feel so privileged to share with all of you.
Sending you love
Remember we are here for you any time of the day or night. Be gentle on yourself, take any support that is offered and take it one day at a time.
All my love, Mum
Will chat soon
Jo
xxxxx
Thanks Graeme - you are very welcome - & you are well loved.
And "in a nutshell" is apposite, coz that's where you were! - and what a speedy escape - well done - & may it continue, as the L'Oreal girls say, "because you're worth it".
Cheers mate
Craig
I’m sorry I wont be there tonight to give you a hug. See you next week. I was thinking of buying Craig a big bag of cashews for all his care. I know how much he loves them.
Shushann xx
My dearest Graeme,
I was so surprised to receive that long explanatory email from you, that you were actually in hospital and needing help.
I did wonder why I had heard nothing from you in two weeks, but I prayed for you nevertheless. I'm still in the dark but the main thing is that you're better now. I'm so grateful to all your friends who've supported you and been there for you in your time of need. Just goes to show what wonderful friends you have, and how you receive in return all you give out.
Please take extremely good care of yourself in every aspect of your life and know that there's nothing more important than you!
With much love and a myriad of blessings,
Heather xxx
Thanks so much, Heather. All is well and the experience was actually a priceless one, one I wouldn't change for anything, except the worry it caused my family and friends.
Basically, I went off on an extraordinary spiritual high - due at least in part, I'm pretty sure, to the stimulent medication I've been taking for several years that masks lower energies in my psyche. I was in such a state of peace and complete fearlessness that I stopped taking the medication altogether. I continued to feel peaceful and joyful for several days with extraordinary revelations and experiences and love beyond anything I can describe.
But sometimes what goes up, comes down abruptly - especially when the brain suddenly isn't getting the chemical it has become reliant on.
So I plummeted into a sudden world of illusion and in that state, literally stared face to face at my Ultimate Nightmares. I lived for about 12 hours of intense suffering and intense fear before I realised that it was just a psychotic episode and I was in the North Sydney High Dependency Ward (Maximum Lock Up!)
I stayed there for about a week, meeting beautiful people and coming off the medication I'm been wanting to come off for years. Now I'm home and feeling fantastic.
Hope all is going well.
