The Dance

I love this country song sung by Garth Brooks. It epitomises how I feel about my relationship with Ally.

The Dance

Lookin' back on the memory of

The dance we shared beneath the stars above

For a moment all the world wasn't right

How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye?

And now, I'm glad I didn't know

The way it all would end, the way it all would go

Our lives are better left to chance

I could've missed the pain

But I'd had to miss the dance

And holding you, I held everything

For a moment, wasn't I the king?

If I'd only known how the king would fall

Hey, who's to say, you know I might have changed it all

And now, I'm glad I didn't know

The way it all would end, the way it all would go

Our lives are better left to chance

I could've missed the pain

But I'd had to miss the dance

It's my life, it's better left to chance

I could've missed the pain

But I'd had to miss the dance

Memorable moments: The sexy beast of Old Mutual

One morning, I walked through the Old Mutual marketing floor on the way to my desk, sensing a shift in the atmospheric pressure. As I moved past the cubicles, I noticed a series of amused, knowing smiles from colleagues, as if the entire floor was in on a secret I hadn't been invited to.

I wondered if I was imagining things until I passed David from Agency Marketing. He gave me a supportive nod and a wink.

"You go, stud," he chirped. "We're all rooting for you."

I reached my desk, confused and increasingly wary. Sitting there, face-up for the world to see, was a thermal-paper fax. It didn't contain a marketing brief or a strategy update. Instead, it was a bold, typed declaration:

"I can't wait to get my hands on you later, you sexy beast."

It was from Ally. In an era before private messaging, she had mistakenly assumed that the office fax machine was a private, direct line to my desk. Instead, it had spent the morning sitting in the communal tray, being enjoyed by every "gregarious" marketer and agency staffer who had wandered by to collect their own documents.

In that single moment, I discovered a profound new psychological state: the ability for immense pride and agonizing embarrassment to coexist in the exact same heartbeat.

I walked in a "high-potential trainee" and left the "Marketing Stud" of the building. It turns out, no matter how hard you work on your professional brand, all it takes is one misplaced fax to permanently rebrand you as a "Sexy Beast."

Memorable moments: Taking a turn for the nurse

I’ve always had a bit of a "thing" for nurses. It started in my late teens when a varicocele sent me to the hospital for surgery. I was attended to by a nurse so strikingly pretty that I promptly "took a turn for the nurse"—a condition far more pleasant than the one that had brought me to the ward in the first place.

Years later, after my divorce from Ally, the universe seemed to be leaning into my preferences once again. I met Lizzy at the local park, brought together by the chaotic introduction of her Schnauzer and my Mack. She was lovely, and when I discovered she was a nurse, I was particularly smitten.

As we dated, I eventually confessed my long-standing admiration for the profession. Lizzy, ever the mischievous soul, gave me a wink. "Ooh," she said, "I’ll wear my nurse’s outfit to bed for you tonight."

I spent the evening in a state of high-altitude anticipation. I had a very specific cinematic image in my head—something involving a crisp white cap and a short skirt—the classic "Florence Nightingale" aesthetic.

I lay in bed, heart racing, as Lizzy slipped into the bathroom to change. The door finally creaked open, and she stepped into the light.

There she was. In her blue scrubs.

There was no white skirt, no stockings, no vintage charm. Instead, she was swathed in several yards of baggy, sterile, utilitarian nylon overalls—the kind of outfit designed to withstand a twelve-hour shift in a trauma ward, not a romantic evening. She looked ready to perform a difficult gallbladder removal, not a private masquerade.

She was so clearly keen to please that I didn't have the heart to tell her. I summoned my best "impressed" face and pretended to be thrilled, but inside, I was feeling a profound sense of "ward-room disappointment."

It turns out that in the world of modern medicine, romance and practicality are rarely on the same shift. I realized that night that if I wanted a vintage fantasy, I should have dated someone from a 1950s period drama; Lizzy was a woman of the 21st century, and in the 21st century, the path to a man's heart is apparently paved with baggy, anti-microbial polyester.

Memorable moments: The rose and the bromance

It’s amazing to think how the most important friendship of my life began. At the start of my final year at university, I had just started dating Ally. We were completely smitten, spending every spare moment together.

But I wasn't the only one who noticed her.

Every day, as Ally sat on the Jamie Steps at UCT, a charming, quirky guy named Russell would approach her and gallantly present her with a single rose. He was persistent, funny, and utterly unique. Ally was flattered, but eventually, she had to break the news: "I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend."

Russell, being the gentleman he is, backed off immediately, but he and Ally remained friendly. Then, the day came when I finally met the man who had been "wooing" my girlfriend.

I didn't feel a shred of jealousy. Instead, I immediately fell for him.

He was hilarious, adventurous, and possessed a spark of madness that matched my own. Our "bromance" was instantaneous. Ally and I stayed together for the next seventeen years, and throughout that time, Russell was the third pillar of our lives. He even moved in as our housemate for several years—a period I still count among the most enjoyable and laughter-filled times of my life.

Ally and I eventually went our separate ways in 2009, but my bond with Russell remained unshakable. Even now, living in different countries, our friendship is priceless. Whenever I return home to visit family, we don't just "catch up" over coffee; we disappear into the mountains or head off on some new adventure, picking up exactly where we left off on the Jamie Steps.

The Palmiet shadow puppet show

Early in our relationship, Ally and I went camping at Palmiet. We were young, smitten, and—after a few days in the fresh air—feeling particularly adventurous. Late one night, while the rest of the campsite was still gathered around the dying embers of the communal fire, we retreated to our tent for some "private" time.

We were being incredibly careful. We spoke in hushed whispers, moved with what we thought was ninja-like stealth, and made sure our "naughty action" didn't make a sound that would alert the neighbors.

The next morning, my best friend Ivor greeted me with a look of suppressed, agonizing amusement.

"What is it?" I asked, sensing I was the butt of a joke I hadn't heard yet.

"Oh, no," he chuckled, shaking his head. "I can’t say. It’s far too embarrassing."

"Oh, come on," I pressed. "No secrets between friends. Out with it."

He leaned in, his eyes dancing. "Alright, let me give you a little tip for the future, Graeme. If you and Ally are planning to get 'jiggy' in a tent, for the love of God, switch the internal lights off first."

My heart sank as the basic laws of physics—specifically backlighting—hit me.

"Otherwise," he grinned, "you’re not just having a private moment; you’re broadcasting a highly detailed shadow-puppet show to everyone at the campfire. It was a five-star performance, Graeme, but I think the audience is expecting an encore."

I went into that tent a master of discretion; I emerged the accidental star, director, and lead cinematographer of the Palmiet Adult Film Festival.

Memorable moments: The apple juice grenade

I met Dani on a Tinder date at a pub. She was stunning—fun, charming, and possessed a smile that made me completely forget my surroundings. I was so smitten, in fact, that when I went to the bar to get our ciders, I walked straight back to the table without paying. The bartender had to chase me down, but eventually, I settled the tab and settled into what felt like the start of something special.

I managed to secure a second date at a lovely restaurant in the city. On a rainy evening, I picked her up in my trusty Toyota Corolla. We were driving along, chatting and laughing, when the interior of the car suddenly experienced a violent, liquid explosion.

A deafening BANG echoed from under the passenger seat, followed by a mist of what smelled suspiciously like high-potency cider drenching the entire cabin—and specifically, drenching Dani.

"What the hell was that!?" I shouted, pulling over in a panic.

As it turns out, I had gone grocery shopping over a month prior. A one-litre carton of apple juice had escaped the bag and rolled under the passenger seat, where it had spent four weeks quietly fermenting in the dark. It hadn't just turned into cider; it had turned into a pressurized biological bomb. The rainy-day humidity was apparently the final trigger it needed to detonate.

Dani sat there, dripping with fermented sediment, the car smelling like a brewery's floor. I braced myself for the end of the relationship before it had even begun. Instead, she looked at her soaked rain jacket, looked at my horrified face, and started to laugh. She laughed until she couldn't breathe.

We dated for over a year after that. I learned two very important things from that night: always check under the seats after a grocery run, and hang onto a woman who can find the humor in being hit by a fruit-juice grenade.

Memorable moments: The Kleinmond interruption

I met my future wife to be, Ally, in the tiny village of Kleinmond, two hours outside of Cape Town. We were camped on opposite sides of a rusty old fence, but by the final night, the "spark" between us was undeniable—aided, in no small part, by the generous flow of alcohol around the communal braai.

Ally was playful. She spontaneously bit my earlobe, and when I warned her of the "consequences," she promptly did it again. I moved in for the clinch.

Now, I consider myself a very capable kisser. I was fully prepared for Ally to swoon, to be consumed by the moment, and to forget the rest of the world existed. For a few seconds, it seemed to be working perfectly.

Then, without warning, she detached herself from my embrace. She didn't look at me. Instead, she leaned toward her friend sitting a few feet away.

"Colleen," she announced firmly, "I must butt in and disagree with what you’ve been saying. I think that..."

I stood there, mid-clinch, abandoned for a theological or political debate I hadn't even realized was happening. My confidence didn't just take a hit; it did a backflip into the campfire.

Ally eventually blamed the alcohol, and I eventually forgave the rebuttal. We went on to spend 17 wonderful years together, but I made sure to check for nearby debates before every kiss from then on.

Correspondence with Dani (year after break-up)

Hi G,

How are you ? Hope you are well and had a good weekend. Seems like a very long time since we caught up....what have you been up to ? I've seen a few piccies on your FB page of bushwalks, camping and South Africa -    looks like you've been adventuring a fair bit. How is Mack ? your fam ? and Alex and Sue ?

I'm still at UTS and enjoying it though it is busy and intense as we're finishing 3 buildings this year. 1 down 2 to go. They renewed my contract for another 3 years so I'm very happy about that. Still paddling though not so regularly - club politics, or paddletics, are getting to me again so don't think I'll renew my membership next season. Happy doing coffee cruises with friends and rubber necking at wildlife (some things don't change). My fam is good. Mum and Dad just came back from 6 weeks oversees hiking, sightseeing etc in Europe. Nat and the kids are good though Andrew is recovering from an ankle operation so is getting waited on hand and foot (pun intended). Zak is very passionate about his surf photography; almost as much as Sally is about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles !

Just thought I'd let you know that I've been seeing someone for just over a year now. His name is Paul and he's also a sustainability manager. We met at a David Suzuki lecture ! We are actually moving in together this coming weekend - up to Hornsby. Sad to leave my lovely little unit so close to the City but it feels right and I'm looking forward to more space, an actual backyard and not having to listen to my wannabe rock god neighbour strangling his guitar. Ahh the serenity. Just thought I'd let you know in case I post something on FB...

Anyways, would be good to hear your news. I hope you are happy, healthy and enjoying life :)

Ciao,

Dani



Hi Dani

When I was in South Africa in April, I went on a canoeing trip in the wilderness. One night I lay on the ground and looked out into the vast night sky and my thoughts turned to you as they sometimes do.  I wished from the bottom of my heart that you were happy and well and that you'd found love with someone really special.  As I wished it, three shooting stars shot out across the sky in instant succession.  I was absolutely awe-struck as I'd never seen anything like it. And I was also filled with a great sense of peace that surely this was some kind of sign that everything was well with you.

I was so, so happy to read your e-mail the other night and to learn that this wasn't wishful thinking.

I'm sending you positive vibes as you move to Hornsby - that everything goes smoothly and beautifully. Hornsby may be further away from the city, but at least it is on a direct train line and you're always sure to get a seat. Think of all the great books you'll be able to read on your commute.  Maybe even put your Kindle to great use.  It will be lovely to have a backyard too.  You'll be able to make up for last time with lots and lots of delicious barbecues.

You made me chuckle when you mentioned the irritating guitar player in your block.  My neighbour has taken up the trumpet (of all things!) and he's been playing the same dreadful tune for months, often early in the morning, and never gets any better at it!  I've seriously considered phoning him up at 4 am each morning to tell him how much I enjoy his playing.

You asked for some news from my side so here goes ...

2013, after our break up, was a very tough time for me emotionally. I found myself grappling with feelings, unimaginably deep, that left me reeling at times. It was also a time for deep reflection, and a time of great spiritual growth; a kind of opening of my heart that allowed me to feel emotions I've been blocking for years. A priceless gift, though painful at the time.

2014 has been a wonderful year, one of the happiest of my life. I spent nearly two months in South Africa and connected more deeply with my family than ever before, especially with my little nephew.  On the Sydney front, I've thrown myself into many wonderful hiking adventures, capturing the wonder of nature with my camera as I go, and making some very special friendships along the way. My meditation practice keeps getting deeper and I feel more and more connected to something greater than me that I cannot name or define, nor would ever want to.  It gives me an immense sense of calm and trust.  I'm still playing tennis and my dodgy forearm has suddenly come right which means I just about always beat poor Brendan these days, much to his disgust!  Work's going great and I still find time to work on my quotations project which I firmly believe is going to change the world of online quotes and earn me enough passive income to free me up to travel and photograph all the world's remaining wild places (I live in hope!)

On the romantic front, I made a conscious decision to stay single for a year after we split up; to focus instead on broadening my circle of friends and getting total clarity on what I wanted for my life. And then, in June this year, as if by clockwork, I fell for a lovely South African girl who I met through hiking.  We got really close, but a few weeks ago she left for a year long sabbatical in Africa to train to be a nature guide and do volunteering which she's been planning to do for years.  I'll join her next year to explore Mozambique together.

Mack is as gorgeous and wonderful as ever, although he's suffering a bit from what the vet thinks may be mild arthritis, so I'm not walking him as much as before. Liza is still a big part of his life.  We always see the vet together and I think he is extremely curious as to the exact nature of our relationship.  We so clearly have absolutely nothing in common. Except for an endless mutual adoration for a little furry creature.  And that counts for everything.

You asked about Su and Alex.  Well, a short while after we separated, Su happily announced that she was pregnant.  She asked if they could continue to stay in the house after the baby was born. I immediately said yes, feeling it was meant to be.  They got married in November at Balmoral Beach and I took photos. And then on Jan 15, beautiful little Amilie was born.  She was the perfect baby, often sleeping 12 hours shifts, and just about never crying and I was a very proud and doting "uncle". Then in June, they decided to emigrate to Europe, and at the end of July they left and took their (my!!!) baby with them.  I felt sad but very grateful to have experienced it all.

Your positive influence continues to live on in my life ...

• I still use my slow cooker often
• I've been to all the National Geographic presentations at the Opera House after enjoying Matthias Klum so very much (that was honestly the best present I think I ever got)
• I live in excited (almost cold turkey type) anticipation of the next series of Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead which you, of course, introduced me to (having now gone to the dark side and become a compulsive downloader of movies!)
• I continue to use the word "nana nap" to describe what has become a regular practice.
• I went to another fancy dress not so long ago, and wore my mullet again!!
• I still think of you when I have a mocha, though I've greatly cut down on my caffeine fix.

Anyway, that's enough news I'm sure. There's always tons more on my blog, which I continue to update religiously, much to the delight of my mum and my 80 year old self.

Wishing you all things wonderful.  Plenty of happiness, joy, excitement, adventure, wonder, fun and laughter. A relationship full of love, connection, sharing, support and mutual discovery.  And Saturday morning paddles jam packed with exhilarating wildlife sightings.

With love,
G

PS  If you're looking to do an amazing but relatively unknown hike that's not far away, I can't recommend this one enough.  You'd love it!!

PS PS  If Zak ever puts his surf photos online, please send me the link as I'd love to see them. He and I seem to share so many passions.

Danilicious

 

 

     

Favourite memories with Dani

2012 Memories

• Meeting in Kiribili pub (I forgot to pay for the drinks, talking for ages, driving her home.)  
• Breakfast in Waverton and taking Dani home to meet Mack.
• Our first big date, going to a fancy restaurant for scollops.  Apple cider exploding. Holding her when we shared an umbrella.
• Going roller-blading and holding hands for first time, then going to cinema to watch Prometheus and eating at Nando's.
• Friday night dancing steps
• Govindas (Marigold Hotel) - and holding hands.
• My first time at Cremorne Orpheum to watch The Sapphires.  
• Our first kiss after watching Alien and Aliens. She laughed!
• Sending flowers to her work day after.  "Hope your day is as radiant as your smile."
• Sydney Olympic park to watch The Footie. (end Jun)
• 2 Creeks Hike - then Mexican restaurant.  (end June)
• Dee Why while Dani house sitting Natalie's house  (Jul)
• Writing Dani a letter.
• Chorus Line
• To Natalie and Andrew for lamb dinner and having so much in common with Zac.
• Whale watching (Aug)
• Walks around Sydney along coast (fortifications & nude swim, Middle Head)
• Ice skating at UTS  (Aug)
• Evening with Brendan
• Blue Mountains weekend away (key in the dark, two hikes, Italian restaurant, Leura)  (Aug)
• Her letter to me before South Africa.
• Texts while I was in South Africa plus Skype chat.
• Dani's 40th - picnic at the park in Kirribilli.
• Zac's birthday dinner - meeting her mum and dad.
• Fancy dress in Blue Mountains for Dani's 40th - and walking.
• Frisbee in the park
• Radical Reels (Nov)
• Matthias Klum for my birthday.  (Dec)
• Getting Xmas presents for her family (mum & dad a book, chocolates for Andrew & Natalie, helicopter for Zac, toy for Sally)
• Her wonderful Xmas gift of a slow cooker.
• Our roadtrip (Farm, birds, Waterfall Way, Cathedral Rock,  Koala place,  Dubbo, NY eve, Mudgee)

2013 memories

• Dragon boat racing
• Flowers "Just because"  She Facebooked it.
• Game of Thrones,  Breaking Bad
• Getting me into Walking Dead
• University student art exhibit  (Mar)
• Showing me old photos (Cambridge)
• Hunter Valley  (Mar)
• Ocean Festival  (Mar)
• To Shelly Beach for snorkelling.
• Port Stephens  (Apr)
• Shopping for DVD.
• Shopping for clothes.
• Into the city for Chinese - wrong park!
• Sailing on the harbour (Apr)
• Kayaking Clontarf to Manly and trying out Honu (Apr)
• Sirius Cove with Mack (Apr)
• To pub in Mosman with friends for birthday.
• Banff Mountain Festival (May)
• To friends for dinner (chef)  (Jun)

Rituals

• Doing my little dance before bed
• Evening texts
• Paddling on Saturday mornings
• Phoning after paddling to decide what we'd do
• A big hug when we greeted
• Greeting her at her door to her apartment
• Macedamian nuts on her table and the crusher
• Driving her to station in morning (before work)
• Watching her get dressed (always up first)
• Showering together
• Thai take-away
• Washing up by rinsing and leaving.
• Mocha and newspaper in bed on a Saturday morning
• Saturday markets (Paddy, Kirribilli)
• Couch surfing (reclining), watching TV, hand on leg
• Finding parking outside her house (often difficult)
• Mocha - mutual love
• Listening to work updates (Mark) and giving support.
• Listening to paddling politics.

Things I loved about her

• Holding hands in movies
• Hand on leg in movie, car
• Love of all things French
• Sporty and her sporty clothes
• Love of Science fiction, disaster and apocolyptic movies
• I'll have to do my happy, happy, joy, joy booty shaking victory dance!
• Her lovely bottom
• Sportiness and sporty clothes
• Her wonder for wildlife, especially whales, dolphins, penguins
• Love for paddling (her meditation)
• Her belief in girl power
• Sentimentality (still had everything in her cupboard, including her soft toys)
• All her medals and necklaces
• Pride in her car - scared to park in roofed parking
• Her lovely smelling hair
• Her love of hugs
• Playing with Sally. 
• The way spoke about friend's babies.
• How amazing she looked when dressed up.
• Unexpectedly stabbing my mouth with her tongue when kissing
• The thoughts that went into her gifts (to me, Xmas presents for the family)
• Fear of creepy children and clowns (in movies)

Expressions

• G-lishious
• G-Force, Delilah
• Oooh, La lah!
• Woo hoo!!
• Giddy Up
• Ending texts with "hugs"
• "You're so funny" (with my navigation)
• How was your day?
• Mmmmmm.

Cinema

• The Marigold Hotel
• The Saphires
• Radical Reels
• Banff Mountain festival
• Contiki
• Les Miserables
• Ocean Festival
• Life of Pi
• Samsara
• Silver Linings Playbook
• Argo
• Moonrise Kingdom
• Prometheus
• Skyfall
• The Great Gatsby
• Beasts of the Southern Wilds  (director was there!!)
• The Hobbit
• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

DVD's

• Breaking Bad (S 1- 4)
• Funny Face
• Game of Thrones (S1 - 3)
• Jack Reacher
• Limitless
• Looper
• Pretty Woman
• Ruby Spark
• Searching for Sugarman
• Second World
• The Apartment
• Vertigo
• Welcome
• 21 Jump Street
• Drive
• Hall Pass
• Hunger Games
• Man on a Ledge
• Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
• This Means War
• The Five Year Engagement
• The Hunger Games
• The Separation (Iranian)

Restaurants

• Fancy restaurant (Scollops)
• Thai restaurant (hers)
• Nandos (Chatswood, Neutral Bay)
• Mexican (Two Creeks)
• Italian (Blue Mountains, both trips)
• Chinese (Blue Mountains)
• Pizza (Blue Mountains)
• Hunter Valley (desserts)
• Hunter Valley (pizza)
• Nepalese
• Spanish Tapas
• Radio Cairo (then to 80's party)
• Into the city for Chinese - wrong park!
• Thai (Neutral Bay)
• Thai (Waverton)
• French (Anniversary)

Cooking

• Tiramisu 
• Belgian Waffles
• Her delicious Irish stew from her deep bowls.
• Lamb we made for Xmas
• Roast beef with garlic pushed in.
• Cooking for her (steak, Ossu Buccu, dinner party with Sue and Alex, spag bol)

Related

• More photos

1st Anniversary with Dani

 

Letters

July 2012

Dear Dani

It's been wonderful getting to know you over the past few months.   I feel very blessed that your journey has criss- crossed with mine. You're amazing, a veritable ray of sunshine, beautiful all the way through.  And the fact you have a gorgeous butt in jeans doesn't hurt either!!!  Anyway, here for the record, are some of the things that I have come to dig and appreciate about you.

• your all round gorgeousness including your stunning, blue eyes 
• the ease with which you laugh
• your love of hiking
• your amazing hair and how delicious it always smells 
• your openness 
• your down to earthness
• the fact you saw the humour in being sprayed with fermented apple juice!
• your ability to park in a tight spot
• your love of doing adventurous and different things
• your love of hugging - you're so very huggable
• the fact that you're so physically affectionate
• your drop dead gorgeous smile
• your boots!!!
• your Australianisms
• the fact you still have your soft toys
• The way I feel when I'm with you
• your passion for whales and the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about them
• your love of movies
• your zest for paddling and being on the water - your form of meditation
• the way you always ask me about my day
• how amazingly easy you are to talk to and be open with
• your positive energy
• your delicious Belgian waffles and amazing Tiramisu
• the soft little murmers you sometimes make as you fall asleep
• your passion for Mocha
• the fact you are so comfortable to be yourself
• your delicious derriere
• the fact you've lived in so many places and loved them all
• the fact you were willing to go rollerblading without brakes!
• How proud you are of being a fair dinkum Aussie.
• your ability to procrastinate (tax!!) - I can so relate!
• the way you make people feel so comfortable 
• the fact Mack immediately loved you to bits
• your love of couch surfing after a hectic day
• your patience with my navigation fopauxes
• the way you kiss
• the way you confide in me about your ups and downs at work
• your happy, happy, joy, joy booty shaking victory dance!
• your sportiness
• the fact you own a frisbee!
• your love of Thai and discovering Pad See Ew (Yum!)
• your enthusiasm for sustainability and making a difference at work
• the balanced way you see life
• the fact your parents own a Macadamian nut farm and your nut stash - what a bonus!
• how down to earth you are
• watching you put on your work clothes
• your practical minded approach to things
• your ticklishness
• your natural friendliness
• your sense of fun
• your warmth

September 2012

Dear Graeme

Well, it's been quite a few months now since we met in that little place in Kirribilli and I've really enjoyed getting to know you.  Now that you're off to South Africa for 6 weeks, I'm finding that I'm going to miss you not just a little bit, but a lot.  So here are some of the things about you that I dig and I'm going to miss (in no particular order).

• how sweet and considerate you are
• your cute Saffa accent
• your cheeky sense of humour
• how thoughtful you are
• how you celebrate the little things
• you always make me feel beautiful
• how tall you are
• how much you love Mack
• your rollerblading powers
• your encyclopaedic knowledge of films and uncanny talent as a script writer
• that you're not afraid to say how you feel and show your emotions
• how you cry in movies - more than me!
• your gorgeous eyes
• your twitching tendencies and passion for birds
• your booty shaking G-Force dance - you know what I'm talkin' about!
• that you're not afraid to go outside your comfort zone
• that you wear your heart on your sleeve and are not afraid to put yourself out there on your blog.
• your sweet tooth
• your perfect teeth
• your enjoyment of the great outdoors, hiking and the ocean
• your addiction to lists
• your love of hugging
• your enduring positivity
• your enjoyment of discovering Sydney's hidden gems
• your passion for teaching
• your love of photography and eye for detail
• that you are always supportive and listen to my work dramas
• that you are writing a book
• that you're really a big softie (don't worry, I won't tell anyone.)
• your interest in meditation and in exploring your spiritual self
• your reliance on Sheila
• that you're a very good listener
• that you enjoy travelling in off the beaten track places
• that you bring me flowers unexpectedly for no reason
• that you're easy to talk to
• your G-liciousness!

Better stop before I run out of runway, but the list could go on for a while yet!  See you when you get back from South Africa and I'll be cashing in on all those stored up hugs.

Dani xx


May 2013

Dear Dani

Thank you so much for the past year - for the collage of wonderful, fun, special moments we have gotten to share.

As you know, I love lists, so here are just some of the golden moments that I treasure.

• Seeing you for the first time in a little pub in Kirribilli and being so smitten by your gorgeousness, I forgot to pay for your drink!
• The moment the apple juice exploded in the car, and the way you saw the humour in it.
• Putting my arm around you for the 1st time - the joys of sharing an umbrella in the rain!
• Holding your hand for the first time - while rollerblading, and then for the 2nd time at Govinda's.
• Going to the Sydney Olympic park to watch The Footie - and our first sleep over.
• Lazy Sunday morning sleep ins with a mocha and the paper.
• Your amazing Tiramisu - and those delicious Dutch pancakes.
• Lazing on your couch, all spread out, watching many a movie and munching chili chocolate!
• Ice skating with you - it felt very romantic.
• Getting to see you all dressed up for the theatre (Chorus Line)
• Your excitement when we saw dolphins so close on our whale cruise.
• Our cosey cabin in the Blue Mountains - and our struggle to get into it in the dark!
• Some great hikes and walks.
• Your wonderful letter when I went to South Africa
• Getting to have hair at your 40th birthday party - how great you looked in fluoro!
• Going into the Opera House for the first time to see the amazing Matthias Klum - what an inspired gift that was!
• Our photographic expedition around your folk's farm - and sitting on their porch swing.
• Frolicking in the surf with you - at Scott's Head and Port Shepstone - total exhileration.
• Our super road trip along Waterfall Way and sharing a tent with you at Cathedral Rock
• Cycling around Dubbo zoo, photographing cheeky meerkats and other critters.
• Great movies at the Orpheum (like Beasts of The Southern Wild and Argo) - no other cinema comes close!  
• Introducing me to the exhileration of The Banff festival and The Ocean Film Festival
• Watching you outmanoeuvre and triumph over that crafty Mark! 
• The joys of Thai take-away and introducing me to the deliciousness of pad see ew
• Watching you play games with Sally.
• Dessert heaven in the Hunter's Valley - and that mocha of all mochas (yum!)
• Browsing the Saturday markets and browsing the shops 
• Some lazy picnics in the park
• Experiencing dragon boat racing with you - and coming 2nd!!
• Tasting wine in Mudgee and Hunter Valley
• Sailing and kayaking on the harbour - what a beautiful city we live in!
• Showering together in the mornings - what a beautiful sight to start the day!
• Sampling some of our local restaurants
• Our crack cocaine addiction to Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad
• Showing me your baby photos - your cuteness was evident right from the start!
• Doing my little dance for you before bed - and your complimentary ooh la lah's if I'm wearing sexy underwear!
• Snorkeling at Shelley Beach - with you in your pink bikini!!!
• Your great Xmas gift of a slow cooker - and how it inspired me to get cooking.
• Getting to try your Honu - even if I did capsize!
• Delicious roasts cooked in your oven.
• Mack doing everything possible to get onto your lap - how he adores you!

What wonderful moments and memories - and what a treasure you are.  Thank you for such special times.  Thank you for being you.

Love,
G

Lizzy

Friendship and flirtations

• Invited around for Beef Stir Fry dinner for two and having a lovely evening.  For me, where the attraction started
• Lizzy's 40 th birthday party - where I caused a great deal of mirth by mentioning my past varicocele
• Meeting at the park with Jem, the opportunist, and Mack, the demented ball demon
• Clontarf Beach outings – taking action shots of Jem and picnicking 
• Food with a surprise zing - always look out for the chili when Lizzy is around!
• Trying her risotto and couscous salad. Delicious they are
• Our mutual love of good ice cream, Appletiser and chocolate
• Finding parking wherever Lizzy goes! What a talent she has!
• My first dinner with  Lizzy and Kelly – with (unsuccessful attempts) to dispel my nurse fantasies
• Great movies at the cinema – The King’s Speech, True Grit, Black Swan and Hereafter
• Swigging tiser like alkis at the cinema!
• Lizzy in her gorgeous dress at Sanjay’s dinner party
• A dinner for two where I tried out my "secret peppercorn sauce" on steak - a great success!
• Desperately trying to “gear down” – but saying it anyway!
• Our first theatre show: Good Cop, Bad Cop with a nice curry dinner before
• My introduction to Gay Time – don’t worry, I haven’t turned yet!
• Mack and Jem playing happily together and Mack trying to hump Jem's head!
• Tennis – with some great rallies
• Sharing quotes that are special to us
• Thoughts, songs and videos emailed during Lizzy's extended “lunch hour” – what a multi-tasker she is!
• Driving to her driving test and our mutual delight when she passed
• Our picnic in Brennan park and some interesting disclosures on both sides!
• Iced Milo and Milo on ice cream – yum!
• Pig snouts for the boys
• Sharing experiences about our most difficult times – and being able to relate . Kindred spirits
• Introducing me to “The Body” – what a beautiful story
• Lots of witty and subtly flirtatious text messages – with some great "rallies"

Our relationship

• Our first scrabble battle 
• Our cooking class – especially my apron and the ectoplasm sauce!
• Shopping together for cooking class ingredients.  Thanks to Lizzy's expert "finding", it takes a quarter of the time I'd take
• Clothes shopping
• Geronimo !!!!  
• My "Love Pug" valentines card
• Giving Lizzy a journal with memory highlights written in it 
• Mack peeking from under the pillow
• Watching Black Adder and Black Books on DVD for some great laughs
• Breakfasts of croissants and luxury yoghurt
• Starting to read Lizzy's journals and discovering Michael Lunig
• Great DVD's we have seen together: Crazy Heart
• Good movies we've seen at the cinema:  Unknown, The Adjustment Bureau, The Fighter
• Visiting the Mardi Gras Fair
• Watching the musical: "The Jersey Boys"

Ally and Graeme (1993 - 2009) - A Celebration

"Don't be sad that it's over. Be happy that it happened."  Dr Seuss

I am so very privileged to have had Ally in my life. I couldn't have asked for a more special partner, friend and soul mate. We have experienced so much together. Our official relationship is over but we are still good friends and hopefully we'll remain part of each other's lives for many years to come. Here, for when I'm old and grey, are my favourite memories and photos of our 17 years together.

.Our early years (1993 - 1995)

• Catching my first sight of Ally across a rusty old fence in a camp site in Palmiet
• When we all went for a midnight skinny dip in the Palmiet River
• That indescribably special night on New Years Eve when a feather on the beach brought us together
• Our first date when we snuck into Kirstenbosch at night and had a romantic picnic on the slopes overlooking the city lights
• Ally's 20 th birthday party on Llandadno beach
• How much fun we had at the "Kitch party"
• Getting stuck in the middle of the lake at the Yacht Club party
• Surprising Ally with Chinese dinner in my room - a very special evening
• Leaving little love notes all over Ally's room
• Our third month anniversary at Melkbos after our romantic dinner at "On The Rocks"
• The first time Ally said "I love you" and knowing that she truly meant it
• Saying "ffff- first" whenever we experienced something together for the first time
• Camping at Bain's Kloof
• Our song: "Only You"- and how it originated
• The joy on Ally's face when we bought a full set of Lanquedoc products
• Camping at Palmiet with our friends, including Eleda and Peter
• Our trip to The Graham's Town festival with Julian
• How cute Ally looked as a pirate at her 21st birthday party
• Having romantic lunches at Le Petit Ferme
• How gorgeous Ally looked at the Viennese Ball in her velvet green dress
• Calling Ally "Allykins" - then later on calling each other "My love"
• "Have I told you lately that I love you? No. Well I do. Still? Always"
• Our romantic weekends away at Mc Greggor, Montagu, Greyton, Elgin, Citrusdal, Hermanus and Franschhoek
• Rowing on the lake at Elgin Lodge
• The way that Gramps adored Ally and how she called him her "Number 2 Hug Man"
• The beautiful, creative cards that Ally made me to commemorate special occasions
• Ally moving into Willow Road with me
• Ally's delight when I took her on a surprise date to watch Madam Butterfly
• Asking a jeweller to make us a little feather out of gold to remember how we came together
• Our trip to Joberg to meet Ally's dad and Aisa
• Sleeping out on the the balcony in Willow Road
• How we used to re-affirm our love through Ally's ring by taking it off and putting it back on
• Our picnics at Jonkershoek
• Our holiday at Storms River and Natures Valley
• Watching the special bond that grew between Ally and Sally that remains to this day

Travelling together (1996 & 1997)

• Our wonderful week at Paradise Island in Mozambique - especially using candle light in our room and lazing on the tropical beach and drinking coconut milk
• How much I missed Ally when she was living in the UK and I was in Cape Town and how great it was to be re-united
• Our road trip to The Lake District and through Scotland - especially Ally reading Beatrix Potter Stories as we drove and Ally's excitement in getting in touch with her family heritage at Dunvegan Castle on the Isle of Skye
• Our whirlwind trip through Europe to Italy - especially experiencing our first snow together on a mountain peak in Switzerland
• Our special time spent driving through Southern Ireland - especially hugging an ancient rock, peering over the spiritual Cliffs of Moher on our bellies and most of all, rowing out to our very own ruined castle on a little island in the middle of a beautiful lake
• Ally's amazing travel journals, written from the heart and crammed full of such wonderful memories
• Our memories of Turkey - especially our lazy days at Butterfly Valley and the Olympus Tree Houses
• Our memories of India - especially our very special, romantic lunch at The Lake Palace in Udaipur, having a miniature elephant painted for our printer's tray and watching the sunset from the Monsoon Palace
• Our memories of Thailand, especially the joy on Ally's face of visiting the elephant sanctuary in Lampang and our spirit replenishing time on the Island of Ko Bulane, sleeping in the forest and swimming in the moonlight

Cape Town years (1998 - 2000)

• Doing up Willow Road together when we returned from overseas, especially the beautiful curtains we chose and realising we had the same taste in things
• Our fun weekends away with the Hardcore Hiking Club
• Christmas 1998 at Willow Road - Ally put on such a magnificent spread!
• Our wonderful summer spent with Colleen, Mike and Russell, especially the day that Clifton turned warm
• Regular sundowners at Clifton Beach
• Ally's naughty streak - especially when she instigated our group skinny dip at the Houenought Hotel!
• The happiness I felt when Ally said "yes" when I proposed on New Years Eve 2000 at a party in Swellendam
• The amazing way in which Ally organised the wedding in only 6 weeks
• How I felt when I saw Ally for the first time on our wedding day - she looked so absolutely radiant and beautiful it made my heart almost burst
• Lieing in the river in Franschhoek at the B&B where we had our honeymoon and feeling like the most contented person in the world
• Signing our bill at the Franschhoek Pancake House as Graeme M loves Ally M (husband and wife)
• Finding flower petals on our bed when we returned home from our honeymoon
• Doing the Otter Trail with Mike and Colleen - and the idyllic few days we all spent at Buckaneers Backpackers in Cintsa

London years (2000 - 2003)

• Our flat at Hammersmith Grove - especially climbing out of the window and sitting on our "balcony"
• Eating delicious meals together at "The Grove" restaurant below our flat
• Our romantic dinner at The Oxo Towers for my 30th birthday - when we mistakenly ordered a bottle of dessert wine instead of a glass. I got presidedly tipsy!
• Our winter visit to Cambridge to see Amanda and Johnathon - not knowing we would live there ourselves just a few years later
• Ally's smile when she wrote "I love you" on the ice frosted window of our hired car
• Reading the Harry Potter books together
• Weekends away to visit the Davidsons
• Having Jo and Anthony and Sammy and then mum and Mike come to stay with us
• Ally's amazing, unwavering support of me when I was out of work and when I went to the Middle East as a tour leader
• The excitement I felt when Ally bought me a mini disk player for Xmas
• Our very special week in Barbados - Ally insisted we go and it was just what I needed. We had such a special time.
• How cute Ally looked in her devil horns at her 30th birthday party
• Having Adam to stay and how Ally nurtured and supported him through a difficult time
• Our wonderful holiday in Croatia - especially snorkelling with turtles and our walks together
  

Cambridge (2004 & 2005)

• Our amazing time together in Cambridge (one of the happiest times of our lives), including:
• Ally's delight when I showed her Brooklands Court, the apartment I "hunted" for us
• Punting together along the River Camb
• Weekend and evening strolls in the Cambridge Botanical Gardens and at the local nature reserve
• Our romantic evening picnic in the Cambridge fields
• Cycling along the banks of the Camb
• Dinners and lots of laughter with Amanda and Johnathon
• Our mutual love of our orchid
• Visiting the centre of Cambridge on Saturday mornings, browsing the library and stopping off to have yummy crepes for lunch
• Eating at Nandos, one of our regular haunts
• Xmas at Brooklands Court with Kerri
• Our weekend away in East Bourne with Colleen and Steve
• Our weekend in Prague - especially our romantic ride on a horse ridden carriage and our special dinner at a lovely restaurant overlooking Prague at night
• The look of delight on Ally's face as she fed the lambs at Wimpole Estate
• Working on Ally's HR plan for World Challenge together - and what a great team we made.  We wowed them!
• Our trip to Western Australia, especially snuggling up in the cosy cabin at Shannon National Park
• Our fifth year wedding anniversary when we made each other cards with exactly the same theme
• Having Ally with me on a business trip to Amsterdam - it no longer felt like work
• Experiencing the Last Night at the Proms
• Proudly showing Mum and Mike our apartment and Cambridge when they visited us
• Being able to show Ally one of my favourite places, Dahab in Egypt and learning to dive together - especially holding hands as we swam through the beautiful coral
• Our holiday to the Canadian Rockies - especially standing together looking out onto the beautiful Morraine Lake

South America and Cape Town (2006)

• Having Ally on my knee when I was the naughty Santa at The Hardcore Hiking Club Xmas party
• Signing our names at the top of Hoar Hut on the Wit Els Hike
• Our amazing adventures through South America, especially:
• tucking into our big steaks in Buenos Aires
• our special "high tea" at Bariloche
• seeing Ally's wonder at the Iguassu Falls
• meeting Doug and Claudia on our ferry trip in Chile and playing drinking games with the youngsters
• cooking our supper together (and making everyone jealous with our culinary masterpieces) near the top of Torres del Paine
• our somewhat lewd frolicking in the mud at Parati
• lazing together on the beaches of Isla Grande
• Ally looking smoking hot in her new red dress in Rio de Janeiro
• playing the fool at Uyuni Salt Pans and Ally's amazing photo of our group leap
• doing the Inca Trail with our special friend, Russell
• setting up our tent in a secluded valley below Cotapaxi and having the whole park to ourselves
• our magical, unforgettable time cruising around the Galapagos Islands and our shared joy in swimming with seals and turtles

Australia (2006 - 2009)

• Landing at Perth excited (and nervous) about our new adventure together
• Our road trip from Melbourne to Sydney in our new car, exploring along the way
• Our first taste of Sydney including seeing The Sydney Opera House for the first time and pigging out on sea food with Doug and Claudia
• Meeting Ally's family in Brisbane
• Staying in Manly Lodge and Ally's delight in its big bubble bath
• Our excitement at moving into our flat at McMahons Point with its wonderful views
• Pinching ourselves as we watched The New Year fireworks over the Sydney Harbour Bridge from our flat
• Our friendly parrots who we hand fed from our window
• Houseboating on the Hawkesbury River with Doug and Claudia and Ally cleaning us all out at poker on our "Bond Night"
• Ally's wonderful hospitality when we had Dorothy, Brendan and mum and Mike to visit
• Having Kerri to stay with us
• Ally making us a surprise cake to celebrate our blog's fifth birthday
• Ally as a beautiful bridesmaid at Colleen and Steve's wedding in Cape Town
• Special times with Brendan and Eva
• Exploring Northern Queensland together - especially our stay at Cape Tribulation and discovering Jack Reacher together
• Our road trip to Brisbane to spend Xmas with Ally's family - and how cute Ally looked with her face painted
• Exploring Tasmania together - especially our stay on Brunee Island and our walk round Dove Lake
• Our weekend trips to Capertee Valley, the Blue Mountains, Kiama and Jervis Bay
• Ally, the Queen of Photographing Myburghian Leaps
• Our regular walks at Manly and Bondi
• Exploring New Zealand with Mum and Mike - especially lazing together in the pools of hot water beach
• Our marathon TV viewings of Rome, Spooks and 24 - we were both addicted!
• Our mutual love of the movie "The Notebook. It made us both cry.
• Exploring the Northern Territories - especially swimming together in the rock pools at Litchfield National Park
• Our excitement at finding and moving into our new home in Waverton, then buying furniture and plants
• Our excitement in sharing our new home with our friends including our first dinner party, trying out the new barbecue, our house warming, our South African evening and Ally's birthday
• Sharing a canoe as we rowed down Kangaroo Valley
• Celebrating Australia Day and both feeling proud to be Australian
• Having Jo to stay in our new home and then mum and Mike
• Ally's insistence that we try out Mack for a weekend - and of course it was love at first sight for both of us
• Our ritual Saturdays at The Sydney's Farmer's market with friends

Things I will always love about Ally

• The way in which she came into my life when I so needed someone to love me for who I was.  She literally transformed me.
• Her honesty, loyalty and integrity - so much part of who she is
• Her sense of fun and ease with which she laughs (even at my jokes when she'd heard them so many times)
• Her love of hugging and her ability to show affection
• Her love of exploring new places - something she learned from her dad
• Her love of elephants and the way her eyes shine when she talks about baby ones
• Her creativity in making beautiful cards and necklaces and cross stitches
• The way she loves my family and keeps in touch with mum
• The special bond she had with my beloved Gramps
• The fact she is as comfortable in camp clothes as in smart evening dress
• Her extraordinary generosity
• Her passion for food and her wonderful cooking (especially her experiments!)
• The way she keeps her special friendships alive by always being there and always keeping in touch
• Her incredible ability to get things done when she needs to and her practical minded approach to solving everyday problems.  Oh, to have some of that!
• How she always loved and supported me exactly as I was, never demanding that I be anything different. It was the greatest gift she could ever have given me. It's something I can really learn from.
• Her passion for all things kitchen and her passion for setting up home
• The wonderful mum she will make - her children will be so very lucky to have a mum like her
• Her passion for keeping memories alive through scrap books, mementos (niknaks I used to call them), travel journals and snap shots - the true, priceless value of which I have only learned later in life
• The fact that Ally will always be part of me

Our early years (1993 - 1995).

Travelling together (1996 & 1997)

Cape Town Years  (1998 - 2000)

.

 

 

London Years (2000 - 2003)

Cambridge Years (2004 & 2005)

Cape Town and South America (2006)

Australia Years (2006 - 2009) 

..these are the memories I will cherish for a lifetime


Related links

• Ally and Graeme - our early relationship
• Meeting Ally
• Photos of  beautiful Ally
• Our wedding
• All posts tagged "Ally"