Dani gets married

I'm so delighted for her.

So happy to discover that Dani has had a baby

So thrilled for her!

Correspondence with Dani (year after break-up)

Hi G,

How are you ? Hope you are well and had a good weekend. Seems like a very long time since we caught up....what have you been up to ? I've seen a few piccies on your FB page of bushwalks, camping and South Africa -    looks like you've been adventuring a fair bit. How is Mack ? your fam ? and Alex and Sue ?

I'm still at UTS and enjoying it though it is busy and intense as we're finishing 3 buildings this year. 1 down 2 to go. They renewed my contract for another 3 years so I'm very happy about that. Still paddling though not so regularly - club politics, or paddletics, are getting to me again so don't think I'll renew my membership next season. Happy doing coffee cruises with friends and rubber necking at wildlife (some things don't change). My fam is good. Mum and Dad just came back from 6 weeks oversees hiking, sightseeing etc in Europe. Nat and the kids are good though Andrew is recovering from an ankle operation so is getting waited on hand and foot (pun intended). Zak is very passionate about his surf photography; almost as much as Sally is about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles !

Just thought I'd let you know that I've been seeing someone for just over a year now. His name is Paul and he's also a sustainability manager. We met at a David Suzuki lecture ! We are actually moving in together this coming weekend - up to Hornsby. Sad to leave my lovely little unit so close to the City but it feels right and I'm looking forward to more space, an actual backyard and not having to listen to my wannabe rock god neighbour strangling his guitar. Ahh the serenity. Just thought I'd let you know in case I post something on FB...

Anyways, would be good to hear your news. I hope you are happy, healthy and enjoying life :)

Ciao,

Dani



Hi Dani

When I was in South Africa in April, I went on a canoeing trip in the wilderness. One night I lay on the ground and looked out into the vast night sky and my thoughts turned to you as they sometimes do.  I wished from the bottom of my heart that you were happy and well and that you'd found love with someone really special.  As I wished it, three shooting stars shot out across the sky in instant succession.  I was absolutely awe-struck as I'd never seen anything like it. And I was also filled with a great sense of peace that surely this was some kind of sign that everything was well with you.

I was so, so happy to read your e-mail the other night and to learn that this wasn't wishful thinking.

I'm sending you positive vibes as you move to Hornsby - that everything goes smoothly and beautifully. Hornsby may be further away from the city, but at least it is on a direct train line and you're always sure to get a seat. Think of all the great books you'll be able to read on your commute.  Maybe even put your Kindle to great use.  It will be lovely to have a backyard too.  You'll be able to make up for last time with lots and lots of delicious barbecues.

You made me chuckle when you mentioned the irritating guitar player in your block.  My neighbour has taken up the trumpet (of all things!) and he's been playing the same dreadful tune for months, often early in the morning, and never gets any better at it!  I've seriously considered phoning him up at 4 am each morning to tell him how much I enjoy his playing.

You asked for some news from my side so here goes ...

2013, after our break up, was a very tough time for me emotionally. I found myself grappling with feelings, unimaginably deep, that left me reeling at times. It was also a time for deep reflection, and a time of great spiritual growth; a kind of opening of my heart that allowed me to feel emotions I've been blocking for years. A priceless gift, though painful at the time.

2014 has been a wonderful year, one of the happiest of my life. I spent nearly two months in South Africa and connected more deeply with my family than ever before, especially with my little nephew.  On the Sydney front, I've thrown myself into many wonderful hiking adventures, capturing the wonder of nature with my camera as I go, and making some very special friendships along the way. My meditation practice keeps getting deeper and I feel more and more connected to something greater than me that I cannot name or define, nor would ever want to.  It gives me an immense sense of calm and trust.  I'm still playing tennis and my dodgy forearm has suddenly come right which means I just about always beat poor Brendan these days, much to his disgust!  Work's going great and I still find time to work on my quotations project which I firmly believe is going to change the world of online quotes and earn me enough passive income to free me up to travel and photograph all the world's remaining wild places (I live in hope!)

On the romantic front, I made a conscious decision to stay single for a year after we split up; to focus instead on broadening my circle of friends and getting total clarity on what I wanted for my life. And then, in June this year, as if by clockwork, I fell for a lovely South African girl who I met through hiking.  We got really close, but a few weeks ago she left for a year long sabbatical in Africa to train to be a nature guide and do volunteering which she's been planning to do for years.  I'll join her next year to explore Mozambique together.

Mack is as gorgeous and wonderful as ever, although he's suffering a bit from what the vet thinks may be mild arthritis, so I'm not walking him as much as before. Liza is still a big part of his life.  We always see the vet together and I think he is extremely curious as to the exact nature of our relationship.  We so clearly have absolutely nothing in common. Except for an endless mutual adoration for a little furry creature.  And that counts for everything.

You asked about Su and Alex.  Well, a short while after we separated, Su happily announced that she was pregnant.  She asked if they could continue to stay in the house after the baby was born. I immediately said yes, feeling it was meant to be.  They got married in November at Balmoral Beach and I took photos. And then on Jan 15, beautiful little Amilie was born.  She was the perfect baby, often sleeping 12 hours shifts, and just about never crying and I was a very proud and doting "uncle". Then in June, they decided to emigrate to Europe, and at the end of July they left and took their (my!!!) baby with them.  I felt sad but very grateful to have experienced it all.

Your positive influence continues to live on in my life ...

• I still use my slow cooker often
• I've been to all the National Geographic presentations at the Opera House after enjoying Matthias Klum so very much (that was honestly the best present I think I ever got)
• I live in excited (almost cold turkey type) anticipation of the next series of Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead which you, of course, introduced me to (having now gone to the dark side and become a compulsive downloader of movies!)
• I continue to use the word "nana nap" to describe what has become a regular practice.
• I went to another fancy dress not so long ago, and wore my mullet again!!
• I still think of you when I have a mocha, though I've greatly cut down on my caffeine fix.

Anyway, that's enough news I'm sure. There's always tons more on my blog, which I continue to update religiously, much to the delight of my mum and my 80 year old self.

Wishing you all things wonderful.  Plenty of happiness, joy, excitement, adventure, wonder, fun and laughter. A relationship full of love, connection, sharing, support and mutual discovery.  And Saturday morning paddles jam packed with exhilarating wildlife sightings.

With love,
G

PS  If you're looking to do an amazing but relatively unknown hike that's not far away, I can't recommend this one enough.  You'd love it!!

PS PS  If Zak ever puts his surf photos online, please send me the link as I'd love to see them. He and I seem to share so many passions.

Danilicious

 

 

     

Favourite memories with Dani

2012 Memories

• Meeting in Kiribili pub (I forgot to pay for the drinks, talking for ages, driving her home.)  
• Breakfast in Waverton and taking Dani home to meet Mack.
• Our first big date, going to a fancy restaurant for scollops.  Apple cider exploding. Holding her when we shared an umbrella.
• Going roller-blading and holding hands for first time, then going to cinema to watch Prometheus and eating at Nando's.
• Friday night dancing steps
• Govindas (Marigold Hotel) - and holding hands.
• My first time at Cremorne Orpheum to watch The Sapphires.  
• Our first kiss after watching Alien and Aliens. She laughed!
• Sending flowers to her work day after.  "Hope your day is as radiant as your smile."
• Sydney Olympic park to watch The Footie. (end Jun)
• 2 Creeks Hike - then Mexican restaurant.  (end June)
• Dee Why while Dani house sitting Natalie's house  (Jul)
• Writing Dani a letter.
• Chorus Line
• To Natalie and Andrew for lamb dinner and having so much in common with Zac.
• Whale watching (Aug)
• Walks around Sydney along coast (fortifications & nude swim, Middle Head)
• Ice skating at UTS  (Aug)
• Evening with Brendan
• Blue Mountains weekend away (key in the dark, two hikes, Italian restaurant, Leura)  (Aug)
• Her letter to me before South Africa.
• Texts while I was in South Africa plus Skype chat.
• Dani's 40th - picnic at the park in Kirribilli.
• Zac's birthday dinner - meeting her mum and dad.
• Fancy dress in Blue Mountains for Dani's 40th - and walking.
• Frisbee in the park
• Radical Reels (Nov)
• Matthias Klum for my birthday.  (Dec)
• Getting Xmas presents for her family (mum & dad a book, chocolates for Andrew & Natalie, helicopter for Zac, toy for Sally)
• Her wonderful Xmas gift of a slow cooker.
• Our roadtrip (Farm, birds, Waterfall Way, Cathedral Rock,  Koala place,  Dubbo, NY eve, Mudgee)

2013 memories

• Dragon boat racing
• Flowers "Just because"  She Facebooked it.
• Game of Thrones,  Breaking Bad
• Getting me into Walking Dead
• University student art exhibit  (Mar)
• Showing me old photos (Cambridge)
• Hunter Valley  (Mar)
• Ocean Festival  (Mar)
• To Shelly Beach for snorkelling.
• Port Stephens  (Apr)
• Shopping for DVD.
• Shopping for clothes.
• Into the city for Chinese - wrong park!
• Sailing on the harbour (Apr)
• Kayaking Clontarf to Manly and trying out Honu (Apr)
• Sirius Cove with Mack (Apr)
• To pub in Mosman with friends for birthday.
• Banff Mountain Festival (May)
• To friends for dinner (chef)  (Jun)

Rituals

• Doing my little dance before bed
• Evening texts
• Paddling on Saturday mornings
• Phoning after paddling to decide what we'd do
• A big hug when we greeted
• Greeting her at her door to her apartment
• Macedamian nuts on her table and the crusher
• Driving her to station in morning (before work)
• Watching her get dressed (always up first)
• Showering together
• Thai take-away
• Washing up by rinsing and leaving.
• Mocha and newspaper in bed on a Saturday morning
• Saturday markets (Paddy, Kirribilli)
• Couch surfing (reclining), watching TV, hand on leg
• Finding parking outside her house (often difficult)
• Mocha - mutual love
• Listening to work updates (Mark) and giving support.
• Listening to paddling politics.

Things I loved about her

• Holding hands in movies
• Hand on leg in movie, car
• Love of all things French
• Sporty and her sporty clothes
• Love of Science fiction, disaster and apocolyptic movies
• I'll have to do my happy, happy, joy, joy booty shaking victory dance!
• Her lovely bottom
• Sportiness and sporty clothes
• Her wonder for wildlife, especially whales, dolphins, penguins
• Love for paddling (her meditation)
• Her belief in girl power
• Sentimentality (still had everything in her cupboard, including her soft toys)
• All her medals and necklaces
• Pride in her car - scared to park in roofed parking
• Her lovely smelling hair
• Her love of hugs
• Playing with Sally. 
• The way spoke about friend's babies.
• How amazing she looked when dressed up.
• Unexpectedly stabbing my mouth with her tongue when kissing
• The thoughts that went into her gifts (to me, Xmas presents for the family)
• Fear of creepy children and clowns (in movies)

Expressions

• G-lishious
• G-Force, Delilah
• Oooh, La lah!
• Woo hoo!!
• Giddy Up
• Ending texts with "hugs"
• "You're so funny" (with my navigation)
• How was your day?
• Mmmmmm.

Cinema

• The Marigold Hotel
• The Saphires
• Radical Reels
• Banff Mountain festival
• Contiki
• Les Miserables
• Ocean Festival
• Life of Pi
• Samsara
• Silver Linings Playbook
• Argo
• Moonrise Kingdom
• Prometheus
• Skyfall
• The Great Gatsby
• Beasts of the Southern Wilds  (director was there!!)
• The Hobbit
• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

DVD's

• Breaking Bad (S 1- 4)
• Funny Face
• Game of Thrones (S1 - 3)
• Jack Reacher
• Limitless
• Looper
• Pretty Woman
• Ruby Spark
• Searching for Sugarman
• Second World
• The Apartment
• Vertigo
• Welcome
• 21 Jump Street
• Drive
• Hall Pass
• Hunger Games
• Man on a Ledge
• Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
• This Means War
• The Five Year Engagement
• The Hunger Games
• The Separation (Iranian)

Restaurants

• Fancy restaurant (Scollops)
• Thai restaurant (hers)
• Nandos (Chatswood, Neutral Bay)
• Mexican (Two Creeks)
• Italian (Blue Mountains, both trips)
• Chinese (Blue Mountains)
• Pizza (Blue Mountains)
• Hunter Valley (desserts)
• Hunter Valley (pizza)
• Nepalese
• Spanish Tapas
• Radio Cairo (then to 80's party)
• Into the city for Chinese - wrong park!
• Thai (Neutral Bay)
• Thai (Waverton)
• French (Anniversary)

Cooking

• Tiramisu 
• Belgian Waffles
• Her delicious Irish stew from her deep bowls.
• Lamb we made for Xmas
• Roast beef with garlic pushed in.
• Cooking for her (steak, Ossu Buccu, dinner party with Sue and Alex, spag bol)

Related

• More photos

Letter before break up

 Dear Dani

I've been thinking a lot today and feeling so, so sad, and I realise a big part of that sadness is due to remorse and regrets and wishing I'd done some important things differently.

My greatest regret is to have caused you pain. I've loved you for a long time and no one deserves happiness more than you - and it hurts like hell that I've made you hurt so much.

I'm also sorry that I didn't talk to you about my experience of depression early in our relationship. It's something I've always been ashamed of and seen as a sign of weakness and hidden even from my best friends - even Russell.  In my relationship with you, I was terrified you'd judge me and reject me because of it, especially knowing about my dad.  I convinced myself that it happened over 12 years ago, and that it isn't relevant in my life any more.  But, as I've realised from the soul searching I've done this week, it is.  You deserve to have known about it. By keeping it from you, I stopped you from seeing all the aspects of me and I didn't properly let you in.

I'm sorry I didn't have the courage to confront my concerns about having a child much earlier on - and realise that it was such an issue for me.  I should have explored it far more when I initially went to see the counsellor and the fear of you becoming pregnant came up as a possible factor.  I allowed myself to get distracted by other things - when that was the most important issue to explore by far because of its implications for us. 

I'm sorry that in our relationship, I have focused so much on the present and not nearly enough on the future. I've been so busy loving being with you and relishing your company and sharing experiences with you, that I didn't think enough and talk to you enough about where we were headed.  I focused on bringing happiness to you in the moment, but I didn't project the possibility of bringing you greater unhappiness in the future.  I wish I'd been more courageous in asking you of your dreams and hopes and expectations.  It would have brought us to talk more about children and made me confront things.

I realise that you're most likely feeling angry with me - and I understand that. I fear too that you're feeling regret about our whole relationship, that you are feeling that it has distracted you from getting what you really want for the future at such an important time in your life. I understand that too - although it hurts to think about it. You're such an amazing, beautiful, wonderful person and it has been such a blessing to know you that I can't regret for a second having had you in my life.  But I do so, so regret the way things are now and causing you hurt. 

I'm not writing this email to ask you for any reassurance and there is no pressure to reply. I realise our relationship is almost certainly over. I realise that you need lots of time to process things.   I just wanted to let you know how I'm feeling and that I'm thinking of you constantly and hoping you are ok.  If there is anything you need, I'm here.

G

Letters

July 2013

Dear Dani

It's been wonderful getting to know you over the past few months.   I feel very blessed that your journey has criss- crossed with mine. You're amazing, a veritable ray of sunshine, beautiful all the way through.  And the fact you have a gorgeous butt in jeans doesn't hurt either!!!  Anyway, here for the record, are some of the things that I have come to dig and appreciate about you.

• your all round gorgeousness including your stunning, blue eyes
• the ease with which you laugh
• your love of hiking
• your amazing hair and how delicious it always smells 
• your openness 
• your down to earthness
• the fact you saw the humour in being sprayed with fermented apple juice!
• your ability to park in a tight spot
• your love of doing adventurous and different things
• your love of hugging - you're so very huggable
• the fact that you're so physically affectionate
• your drop dead gorgeous smile
• your boots!!!
• your Australianisms
• the fact you still have your soft toys
• The way I feel when I'm with you
• your passion for whales and the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about them
• your love of movies
• your zest for paddling and being on the water - your form of meditation
• the way you always ask me about my day
• how amazingly easy you are to talk to and be open with
• your positive energy
• your delicious Belgian waffles and amazing Tiramisu
• the soft little murmers you sometimes make as you fall asleep
• your passion for Mocha
• the fact you are so comfortable to be yourself
• your delicious derriere
• the fact you've lived in so many places and loved them all
• the fact you were willing to go rollerblading without brakes!
• How proud you are of being a fair dinkum Aussie.
• your ability to procrastinate (tax!!) - I can so relate!
• the way you make people feel so comfortable 
• the fact Mack immediately loved you to bits
• your love of couch surfing after a hectic day
• your patience with my navigation fopauxes
• the way you kiss
• the way you confide in me about your ups and downs at work
• your happy, happy, joy, joy booty shaking victory dance!
• your sportiness
• the fact you own a frisbee!
• your love of Thai and discovering Pad See Ew (Yum!)
• your enthusiasm for sustainability and making a difference at work
• the balanced way you see life
• the fact your parents own a Macadamian nut farm and your nut stash - what a bonus!
• how down to earth you are
• watching you put on your work clothes
• your practical minded approach to things
• your ticklishness
• your natural friendliness
• your sense of fun
• your warmth

September 2012

Dear Graeme

Well, it's been quite a few months now since we met in that little place in Kirribilli and I've really enjoyed getting to know you.  Now that you're off to South Africa for 6 weeks, I'm finding that I'm going to miss you not just a little bit, but a lot.  So here are some of the things about you that I dig and I'm going to miss (in no particular order).

• how sweet and considerate you are
• your cute Saffa accent
• your cheeky sense of humour
• how thoughtful you are
• how you celebrate the little things
• you always make me feel beautiful
• how tall you are
• how much you love Mack
• your rollerblading powers
• your encyclopaedic knowledge of films and uncanny talent as a script writer
• that you're not afraid to say how you feel and show your emotions
• how you cry in movies - more than me!
• your gorgeous eyes
• your twitching tendencies and passion for birds
• your booty shaking G-Force dance - you know what I'm talkin' about!
• that you're not afraid to go outside your comfort zone
• that you wear your heart on your sleeve and are not afraid to put yourself out there on your blog.
• your sweet tooth
• your perfect teeth
• your enjoyment of the great outdoors, hiking and the ocean
• your addiction to lists
• your love of hugging
• your enduring positivity
• your enjoyment of discovering Sydney's hidden gems
• your passion for teaching
• your love of photography and eye for detail
• that you are always supportive and listen to my work dramas
• that you are writing a book
• that you're really a big softie (don't worry, I won't tell anyone.)
• your interest in meditation and in exploring your spiritual self
• your reliance on Sheila
• that you're a very good listener
• that you enjoy travelling in off the beaten track places
• that you bring me flowers unexpectedly for no reason
• that you're easy to talk to
• your G-liciousness!

Better stop before I run out of runway, but the list could go on for a while yet!  See you when you get back from South Africa and I'll be cashing in on all those stored up hugs.

Dani xx


May 2013

Dear Dani

Thank you so much for the past year - for the collage of wonderful, fun, special moments we have gotten to share.

As you know, I love lists, so here are just some of the golden moments that I treasure.

• Seeing you for the first time in a little pub in Kirribilli and being so smitten by your gorgeousness, I forgot to pay for your drink!
• The moment the apple juice exploded in the car, and the way you saw the humour in it.
• Putting my arm around you for the 1st time - the joys of sharing an umbrella in the rain!
• Holding your hand for the first time - while rollerblading, and then for the 2nd time at Govinda's.
• Going to the Sydney Olympic park to watch The Footie - and our first sleep over.
• Lazy Sunday morning sleep ins with a mocha and the paper.
• Your amazing Tiramisu - and those delicious Dutch pancakes.
• Lazing on your couch, all spread out, watching many a movie and munching chili chocolate!
• Ice skating with you - it felt very romantic.
• Getting to see you all dressed up for the theatre (Chorus Line)
• Your excitement when we saw dolphins so close on our whale cruise.
• Our cosey cabin in the Blue Mountains - and our struggle to get into it in the dark!
• Some great hikes and walks.
• Your wonderful letter when I went to South Africa
• Getting to have hair at your 40th birthday party - how great you looked in fluoro!
• Going into the Opera House for the first time to see the amazing Matthias Klum - what an inspired gift that was!
• Our photographic expedition around your folk's farm - and sitting on their porch swing.
• Frolicking in the surf with you - at Scott's Head and Port Shepstone - total exhileration.
• Our super road trip along Waterfall Way and sharing a tent with you at Cathedral Rock
• Cycling around Dubbo zoo, photographing cheeky meerkats and other critters.
• Great movies at the Orpheum (like Beasts of The Southern Wild and Argo) - no other cinema comes close!  
• Introducing me to the exhileration of The Banff festival and The Ocean Film Festival
• Watching you outmanoeuvre and triumph over that crafty Mark! 
• The joys of Thai take-away and introducing me to the deliciousness of pad see ew
• Watching you play games with Sally.
• Dessert heaven in the Hunter's Valley - and that mocha of all mochas (yum!)
• Browsing the Saturday markets and browsing the shops 
• Some lazy picnics in the park
• Experiencing dragon boat racing with you - and coming 2nd!!
• Tasting wine in Mudgee and Hunter Valley
• Sailing and kayaking on the harbour - what a beautiful city we live in!
• Showering together in the mornings - what a beautiful sight to start the day!
• Sampling some of our local restaurants
• Our crack cocaine addiction to Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad
• Showing me your baby photos - your cuteness was evident right from the start!
• Doing my little dance for you before bed - and your complimentary ooh la lah's if I'm wearing sexy underwear!
• Snorkeling at Shelley Beach - with you in your pink bikini!!!
• Your great Xmas gift of a slow cooker - and how it inspired me to get cooking.
• Getting to try your Honu - even if I did capsize!
• Delicious roasts cooked in your oven.
• Mack doing everything possible to get onto your lap - how he adores you!

What wonderful moments and memories - and what a treasure you are.  Thank you for such special times.  Thank you for being you.

Love,
G

Mack at Sirius Cove

Dani and I went for a picnic to Sirius Cove and Mack came along of course.  As usual, he loved the water.