A song for Shushann

A heartfelt song I created for Shushann to celebrate our beautiful friendship. She enriches my life in so many ways.

The Gold You See

Verse 1

Jilly drew a circle

On a Tuesday night in town,

Eckhart spoke of stillness

Till the noise was settling down.

I couldn’t know that evening

How deep this bond would run—

You’d be the friend I turn to first

When worry clouds the sun.

With you I never need a mask,

I’m simply welcome there;

You listen without judgement

And meet me with your care.

Chorus 1

Shushann, you see the gold in people

Before they see it too;

You hold it to the daylight

Till they know that it is true.

With your radiant smile and wisdom,

With a heart both deep and kind,

You give us back the parts of us

We thought we’d left behind.

Verse 2

We drove the road to Bowral,

Took dear Jilly to The Mill;

Out to Tina in Carcoar,

Past the Blue Mountains, calm and still.

Manly, Watsons Bay and Balmoral,

Malabar beneath our feet;

Frenchys lunches, sushi, picnics,

Ice cream, chips and something sweet.

You always knew which exhibition,

Which concert we should see;

We watched the Whirling Dervishes

Turn like a living prayer.

Then out would come Her Majesty—

Your Queen beyond compare—

And soon your glorious laughter

Was filling up the air.

Chorus 2

Shushann, you find joy in small things—

A pathway, meal or view;

And somehow every ordinary day

Feels newly made with you.

You gather friends and keep them close,

You always make a place;

The world becomes more generous

Inside your warmth and grace.

Verse 3

Christmas comes to Coogee

With the circle by your fire;

Sometimes you guide us into stillness

Till the room begins to breathe.

At morning you’re in ocean pools,

Salt water, open sky,

Hoping some small octopus

Will quietly wander by.

Then home again to Anush—

Two souls that just belong;

The love between you, plain to see,

So tender and so strong.

And Mack stays warm in memory—

We’ve always understood

How furry souls can fill a life

With simple, faithful good.

Chorus 3

Shushann, you find wonder everywhere—

In ocean, earth and sky,

In friendship and in mystery,

In all that passes by.

From Uluru to Japan,

From Norway back to home,

Your curious and playful heart

Still calls you on to roam.

Verse 4

You sit beside the troubled,

Help couples find their way,

And help those living with Parkinson’s

Meet each changing day.

You show us age can deepen us,

That eldership is grace—

Not slowly disappearing,

But finding our true place.

You took the hardest chapters

And made wisdom from the pain;

A lifetime spent becoming,

Choosing love time and again.

Through books and soulful cards,

Through every workshop that you lead,

Your creativity keeps flowering,

Still answering the need.

Bridge

There’s a mystic in you listening

For the oneness under all,

For the sacred in the silence,

For the meaning in the call.

And after all your searching,

Your journeys far and wide,

The light you went out looking for

Was always there inside.

Final Chorus

May all the gold you see in us

Come shining back to you;

May love and deep connection

Surround you all life through.

May creativity and wonder,

Beauty, purpose, sacred grace,

Keep opening new horizons

And keep laughter on your face.

And wherever we are carried,

Whatever we pass through,

My life is richer than I can say

For sharing it with you.

You are one of life’s great gifts to me—

Shushann, I love you so.

Birthday song for Sam

I’ve Watched You Become

Verse 1

Feels like yesterday, Cape Town light

Holding you there for the very first time

So small, so perfect, breath held still

Didn’t know then just how much I’d feel

Through London years and Sydney skies

Watching your world through visits and goodbyes

But every time I saw your face

I saw the person you’d become

Chorus 1

And I’ve watched you become who you are

From a spark to a rising star

From “faster, faster” chasing the wind

To a heart that lets the whole world in

And even from oceans apart

I’ve carried you here in my heart

Verse 2

Running wild with no brakes at all

Laughing loud, never scared to fall

Sunset gold at Llandudno

Salt in your hair, that ocean glow

Sunrise swims in the quiet blue

Finding something honest and true

Curled up slow with a book in hand

Then lighting up every room you stand in

Chorus 2

And I’ve watched you become who you are

All that light, all that heart

Every laugh and every tear

Every doubt that brought you here

And you shine in all that you do

In a way that’s so deeply you

Verse 3

Now you sit in that sacred space

Holding lives with such quiet grace

You see the parts we try to hide

And help them breathe, and soften inside

You’ve known those shadows in your own way

That’s how you know just what to say

Turning pain into something kind

A healing hand, a steady mind

Chorus 3

And I’ve watched you become who you are

Not in spite of the scars

But because you feel so deep

You can hold what others keep

And the world is better, it’s true

Just because it has you

Verse 4

In Kenilworth streets you’ve made your home

Not far from Matt, not far from your own

Sunlight drifting through quiet rooms

Soft conversations, creative blooms

From Stellenbosch halls to Hermanus shores

Giving your heart to something that’s more

And every client that finds your care

Feels something safe just being there

Bridge

From dancing to Abba as a child

To standing strong and undefiled

From fearless speed to deeper sight

You grew your wings in your own time

And all the love you give away

You see it in the lives you touch

It’s there in how you show up

In all the quiet things you do

Final Chorus

And I’ve watched you become who you are

And I couldn’t be more proud

Through every high and every fall

You’ve found a way to hold it all

So keep shining, just like you do

The world is better with you

Song for Xenia for her birthday

A heartfelt song I created for Xenia to celebrate our beautiful friendship and her birthday.

The Road Gets Brighter With You

Verse 1

Tuesday nights in Jilly’s lounge

Quiet seekers gathered round

Listening for a deeper truth

That’s the night I first met you

You spoke your heart so honestly

No disguise, just authenticity

And something in that gentle room

A rare friendship began to bloom

Chorus 1

Life gets brighter walking with you

Through harbour winds and morning blue

From Jilly’s circle to cafés nearby

You make the ordinary shine

Some friends appear then drift from view

But some feel timeless, deep and true

Through every step my heart still knew

Life’s a richer road with you

Verse 2

Bowral roads and country skies

Driving out to visit Jilly

Lunch at The Mill, laughter rising

Those long trips felt easy

Friday mornings, Balls Head views

Harbour light and quiet blues

Meditation, dreams we share

Designing lives with care

Chorus 2

The road grows deeper walking with you

From Bowral hills to harbour views

Friday mornings by the sea

Talking about the lives we’ll lead

The courage in the truth you show

The open heart that lets love flow

Through every mile my spirit knew

Life feels wider next to you

Verse 3

You sing when courage calls your name

Your voice rising clear and brave

You share your art with open heart

Showing others it’s okay

You help the lost stand up again

Seeing light in broken souls

Though the world may overlook

The quiet strength you hold

Chorus 3

The world feels kinder walking with you

Through parkland paths and harbour views

Through lockdown days we found a way

Meeting in the park each day

Through laughter, wisdom, food and song

A friendship steady, deep and strong

Through every season I still see

The gift you’ve been to me

Verse 4

With Chris and Jane and Shushann too

And Krissula beside us

Our little circle gathering

Where laughter lives and guides us

Stories shared across the table

Life unfolding as we go

Friendships woven strong and kind

The kind few people know

Chorus 4

And the circle grows brighter with you

Through meals and music shared in view

Through honest words and laughter too

You make this wandering life feel true

Some friends pass quickly out of view

But some help shape the life we choose

And every mile my heart still knew

Life’s a better road with you

Bridge

You’ve taught me truth is worth the cost

To live with nothing left concealed

To meet the world with honesty

And let the heart be fully revealed

And when my anxious storms appear

You meet them calm and crystal clear

A friend who helps me find again

The beauty living here

Final Chorus

Life feels sacred walking with you

From Mackie’s quiet trust of you

To harbour winds and wandering paths

And tables full of joyful laughs

Through every valley, every view

I know how rare a soul like you

And every mile my heart still says

Life is a better road with you.

Her lovely response

A song for Tina

I created a song for Tina which she loved.  I shared it with her when I spent Xmas with her and the family.

Message from Marion who I shared the song with

Still So Here

Verse 1

Ninety-one years and you’re still so here,

Clear in your laughter, steady and near.

You chose good living, a mindful way,

Less sugar, more care, more light in your days.

Coleslaw on the table, biscuits just right,

You’ve always known how to nourish a life.

Pre-Chorus

There’s a quiet wisdom in the way you move,

A gentleness shaped by what you’ve lived through.

Chorus

You’re still so here, still warm, still bright,

Still opening hearts just by your light.

Time may pass, but this much is true:

The world is kinder for having you.

Verse 2

Kirribilli mornings, harbour in view,

Tuesday night silence breaking us through.

A shared stillness, a knowing glance,

Learning to rest in the present’s expanse.

You followed the call all the way to India’s door,

Came back with a heart that could love even more.

Pre-Chorus

Something opened and never closed again,

A deeper yes to joy and pain.

Chorus

You’re still so here, still open, still true,

Still seeing beauty where others don’t choose.

In books, in art, in a perfectly played tune,

You meet the world like a long-held friend.

Verse 3

You see the world like an artist does,

Feeling the colours before the words.

A type four heart, uniquely true,

Making meaning where few can do.

Even loneliness taught you how

To love more deeply, right here, now.

Verse 4

Ruth’s food on the table, colour and care,

Paint on the walls and love everywhere.

Dom by your side through the hardest days,

Finding new ground in courageous ways.

Dogs in the garden, balls flying fast,

You smile at the joy that’s never the past.

Pre-Chorus

Your love keeps widening, quietly strong,

A place where so many of us belong.

Chorus

You’re still so here, still generous, still kind,

Still making a home in the hearts that you find.

Family and friendship, gathered and true,

We’re richer for simply knowing you.

Bridge

Scrabble words waiting,

Road trips to Bowral,

Lunches and laughter,

Table tennis battles.

Sushi at Taki,

Harbour cafés,

Deep conversations

That carried our days.

You speak it in moments, in laughter and care,

In the warmth of your presence, in how you are there.

Final Chorus

You’re still so here, and you always will be,

In art and in memory, in you and in me.

This Christmas together, beneath summer skies,

I’m grateful beyond what words can describe.

Outro

So here’s to your courage, your depth, your grace,

Your quiet strength, your radiant face.

My beautiful friend, this song is true:

I am so thankful —

For you.

A song I created for Jo

I had so much fun creating this for Jo.

 

My Sister, My Heart

Verse 1

We laughed till we cried, milk through your nose,

Secret looks when the chaos rose.

Marco Polo in the pool all day,

Chocolate stolen, we’d sneak away.

Dad combing hair while the drivers queued,

We rolled our eyes — our secret feud.

Two little rebels with hearts so free,

You were the world to me.

Chorus

My sister, my heart, my lifelong friend,

Through every beginning, through every end.

You lift my world with all you do,

There’s a sacred light that shines in you.

No distance dims, no time apart —

You’ll always be my sister, my heart.

Verse 2

Head girl smile, that fearless grace,

Gramps’s pride all over his face.

Eighteen years and you sailed away,

Canada called — you found your way.

Letters home made strangers cry,

Your words could always reach the sky.

And I just watched, so proud of you,

And loved you deeper too.

Chorus

My sister, my heart, my lifelong friend,

Through every beginning, through every end.

You lift my world with all you do,

There’s a sacred light that shines in you.

No distance dims, no time apart —

You’ll always be my sister, my heart.

Verse 3

Wedding bells and laughter strong,

A life of love where hearts belong.

Sam and Matt with eyes so bright,

You guide them softly through the night.

Photos, calendars, cards each year,

Your love made visible, ever near.

Home that glows with grace and art,

A mirror of your heart.

Verse 4

Orange River, sick and weak,

You rowed for two, you found my streak.

You called me boet with that gentle grin,

And pulled me back from the dark within.

Christmas cake and peppermint pie,

Thai curry under a Cape Town sky.

You made me laugh, reminded me,

Who I could be.

Chorus

My sister, my heart, my lifelong friend,

Through every beginning, through every end.

You lift my world with all you do,

There’s a sacred light that shines in you.

No distance dims, no time apart —

You’ll always be my sister, my heart.

Bridge

Through loss and tears, through joy and grace,

You’ve held the soul of our family place.

You spoke for Gran when I could not,

Your words — pure love, no second thought.

You’ve been my mirror, my laughter, my calm,

My shelter, my courage, my open palm.

Though years may fly and oceans part,

You’re still the home inside my heart.

Final Chorus (soft, reflective)

My sister, my heart, my lifelong friend,

You’ve been my home time and again.

From childhood days to skies brand new,

My deepest love will follow you.

Forever close, though miles apart —

You’ll always be my sister, my heart.

Forever my sister, my heart.

Jason passes away

Beloved Jason always greeted me, when I arrived in South Africa, with such love and excitement. He spent many a night on my bed, all snuggled up.  He loved his food with a hungry passion. He adored walking in the Greenbelt and around the block, trotting, sniffing and peeing on many a bush. He was a loyal member of the Boting clan, always watching other members of the family with loving curiosity. When he or we were truly excited, he barked with abandon in his distinctive high pitched tone.  He was a truly beautiful little being and we will all miss him terribly. 

 

How wondrous that you can see Jason in his paw print, done by Sam.

Sam saying goodbye

Related

• All journal entries tagged "Jason"

Chris's 70 birthday

Friends do not come more special than Chris. I'm so blessed to have had him in my life over the past 12 years.  It was wonderful to celebrate his 70th birthday with him.

Birthday tribute video

Lunch on the day at The Coal Loader

Chris's party at The Alchemist

 

In loving memory of Mack (2004 - 2023)

Mackie passed away a couple of days ago, just two months shy of his remarkable 19th birthday.

It's hard to put into words what it meant to share so many years with such an extraordinary soul. 

The lessons Mack taught me are imprinted on my heart:

• His constant display of unconditional love, shared abundantly and wholeheartedly.
• The priceless bond of true companionship and heartfelt connection.
• His transparent emotions, ever evident in his joyful tail wags and earnest eyes.
• The simple warmth of snuggling close, or just resting his head on a knee, shoulder or comforting lap. 
• The wisdom in his intent listening, reminding me that not every silence needs filling.
•  His ability to be wholly present, savoring every sound and scent during our walks.
•  The immense exuberance he found in fun, playful pleasures, even if was simply chasing after a ball.
•  Just how high you can leap if you put your mind to it, especially if you’re chasing after a tantalising rodent.
•  The importance of having boundaries, especially if your space is invaded by an overly spirited yapper snapper !
•  The living embodiment of virtues like patience, adaptability, curiosity, wonder, loyalty, trust, enthusiasm, alertness, forgiveness, and countless others.

Mackie was ready to go but the void left by his absence is profound. I’ve been doing lots of walking around Waverton to help process my sadness and every path I take is suffused with memories of Mackie, sniffing at every bush and lifting his leg to mark his favourite spots. I’ve had some beautiful cries, and its been a much needed release.

A heartfelt thanks to those who had a particularly special connection with Mack and helped enrich his life: Ally, Liza, Jasper, Chris, Yogi, Srini, Xenia, Shushann, Sharon, Martin, Matt, Sue & Alex, Dani, Lizzy, Chrisel, Russell, Elna, Jilly.

Mack, until our paths intertwine once more. The anticipation of our reunion brings visions of jubilant tail wags, playful dances, and exuberant panting. No doubt, Mackie will show signs of excitement too 🙂

Rest in peace, dear Mackie

To Liza

We had a beautiful get together at The Botanica yesterday. So many memories to share and everyone was very loving and supportive. Shushann brought beautiful Anush who I have a special connection with and she settled at my feet the whole time, as if she knew I needed solace.  It was all so bitter sweet.  I kept looking at Mackie's chair, where he used to snuggle into his blanket and pervade the scene, and it was empty.  The staff at The Botanica were so crestfallen to hear about Mack. And Steve and Vula, too, who run the Waverton Grocer. For such a little thing, Mack featured so large in Waverton. His loss is  being felt by all the people who knew him and loved him.

The most support I'm getting is from people who've also lost doggie soul mates. Jane, who was there yesterday, lost 17 year old Harry last year. And Heather in South Africa lost 21 year old Sally a while ago too. They both spoke about the crushing emptiness and loss that they felt and still feel from time to time, enough still to bring them to tears.

I've been doing a lot of walking in Waverton as it helps to process and settle the grief. Every path I take is pervaded by the memory of Mack sniffing shrubs and cocking his leg every 10 metres or so. I've had some really strong cries on the walks, and it feels good to do it.

From Liza

• I can recall every photo you forwarded of Mack at Botanica, and it was very, very clear he loved beyond measure being there, being with you there, and being with you and Chris there. It was always so truly delightful to experience Mack's enjoyment of sniffing, caressing plants, marking his spots etc.
• I genuinely hope you do really well in processing your grief, and recalling happy times Graeme. Mack loved you very, very much and for sure loved his home with you; I adored every photo of him on HIS balcony when he was a heat seeking doggie. I'm not able to recall any thing much just now but, for me, there won't be a doggie companion, as special, ever. Mack is, was, remarkable in so many ways. I feel proud of him, and of my contribution to his life Graeme. Meeting him with Mum on my birthday was an amazing thing, and there has not been a day I have not loved Mackee since. 
• For Jasper and I there was not a day we didn't look forward to Mack's arrival.  I loved his enjoyment, as an old fella, of night walks, his sniffing the ground and air; for month's now that was early mornings and as soon as the sun set. 

From Chris

So, So Beautiful Graeme. Now that is friendship. That is love. And you shared him with us all. You had a little engine of joy there.  He is a fond memory in many peoples minds, but I somehow imagine that in the big scheme of things when little Mackee was choosing which  human, he chose you and he was a winner.

Dear Liza. Our precious little friend has gone, but what a friend he had in you. I must say I have never seen such a beautiful connection between a dog and a human than between dear little Mackee and you.  You made him feel so special. Thank you for sharing him with me for some enjoyable times. I will miss him too. Take care. Wishing you all the best. 

From Ally

Hey G, was just calling to say how sorry I was to hear about Mack. What a lovely tribute to him - totally had me in tears!! He was one of the most special little souls and he will live in our memory and hearts forever. I am so glad you got to spend so much time with him.  I truly hope you are okay.  Sending you a special hug and love 💙

From Shushann

Ohh dear Graeme just read your beautiful piece on Mack. It has brought floods of tears. Sending you blessings and love over this heartbreaking but unavoidable letting go of our beloved fur babies. Until you meet again. Somewhere over the rainbow🙏🏽🧡🌈

Oh my goodness the photos were stunning. They could be a book in themselves. They tell many wonderful stories.

From Yogi

Sorry to hear your sad news. Mackie Boy was an exceptional dog - what great mates you were!  He gave you so much joy, & vice versa. He lives on, forever young, in your blog. 

From Srini

This message was sent by Srini from a mountain hike shortly after Mack passed away. Amazingly, he had no knowledge that Mack had gone. It was one of those beautiful synchronicities and deeply comforted me.

Richard

Shirley

Facebook condolences

Tribute video for Shushann

Shushann is a very dear friend. I created this slideshow to celebrate her birthday and our friendship.

A birthday tribute to Elna celebrating her 50th

In celebration of a beautiful friendship that I really cherish.

Happy 50th birthday dear Jo

My birthday video

An amazing life map by Mikaela

Festivities

From Jo:

"Turning 50 is not so bad when you feel so loved and spoilt by so many amazing people!!  3 night breakaway to my favourite apartment block in Kalk Bay, champagne breakfast at Simon’s, baby tea friends for cocktails and cake on our balcony overlooking the harbour below, and a magical super full moon swim tonight x"

Posters Jo made for her party

Marion, wise seer and intuitive healer extraordinaire

I totally love this amazing and beautiful human being. A fellow South African, Marion is an intuitive therapist and energy healer and played a huge role in my life from 2017 - 2021. Recommended by Tina, her wisdom and insight has had a profoundly transforming effect on my life.  

I recommended all my spiritual friends to her and Shushann, Nic, Sharon, Xenia, Aimee, Lydia, Jane and Chris all ended up seeing her and swear by her.

I don't see Marion on a regular basis right now but just knowing she is there if I ever need her makes all the difference.

Marion's husband is also wonderful. We have met up for lunch on several occasions and had deep philosophical discussions. A wonderful meeting of the minds.  He got me interested in Iain McGilchrist whose books on the left and right brain I subsequently read from cover to cover.

Marion and Alun

Some insights and breakthroughs

• Help connecting to my greater Self and to a sense of oneness with All.  Felt connected for days.  All mental aspects fell into place. 
• Anger as 4 or 5 year old. A powerful "Fuck you!"  Then release and laughter.
• Marion drew a diagram of my head with a line up my neck and across the sides of my head. She said it was something for me to have looked at. Extraordinarily, I had experienced pain up my neck the night before, causing a headache to manifest along the sides of my head exactly as she had drawn. I had never mentioned my discomfort with my neck before.
• Confinement in the womb as the source of my fear of being trapped? Release and compassion for my baby self.
• The source of my strident, incessant voices: "Sergeant Rush More!" and "Sergeant Do More!"  Marion asked "What happened when you were 16?" My answer: "I was depressed and coped by immersing myself in hard work." That was the birth of those voices.
• I am worried that I will cause upset. I am sensitive and I pick up on others' upset energy. Marion's advice: "Give them permission to get upset.  Honour that. Remain centred in being caring and loving."
• The terror is not a place but a momentary experience contained in the One. I am not separate from That.  Be the space for the Fear. Be with it as a sensation.
• What would not needing to try look like?  There is no need to try! Allow creativity to unfold through me from Universal Intelligence.
• I have an attachment to Wisdom Trove being popular. Marion: "That's not the true measure of its success. The true measure is if it deeply effects one person who goes into a position of influence.  What you do (and the wisdom gained in the process) goes into collective consciousness for the benefit of the all."
• Visioning is good and fine as well as surrender. It’s God doing it after all.  Surrender is letting go of attachment to results.
• Disapproval is not personal. I’m as they need me to be to process their own stories and projections.
• Profound experiences of disappearing into stillness.
• Mackie chose to go down the stairs and gave up in order to allow me to goto Nepal. It was a fearful experience but also an act of love.

People I referred to Marion

1. Nic
2. Alessandro
3. Aimee
4. Sharon
5. Xenia
6. Jane
7. Chris
8. Lydia

Going to Nic's spiritual group

I started going to Nic's spiritual teaching group in 2013 and kept going for several years. He introduced me to David Hawkins and the map of consciousness which has had a profound effect on my world view.  Nic's teachings were truly transformational. I feel deeply thankful for his presence in my life. He arrived at a time when I most needed his wisdom and his teaching were utterly perfect for what I needed to progress on my spiritual journey.

Some of the many key insights I gained from Nic

All is well 

• All is perfect including who I am being right now
• Love what is. All of it.  
• I am exactly where I'm meant to be, experiencing what I'm meant to be experiencing in order to learn what I'm here to learn. 
• Divine consciousness brought me to this exact moment. I embrace it as it is.
• Trust that everything is for your learning and evolution of consciousness.  
• You're perfect as you are. Who says a gnarled tree in nature isn't perfect?  As it's supposed to be?
• Everything that happens is for the ultimate good of all involved. 
• When a decisions arises with options 1 or 2, neither is preferable. Both are perfect. One may bring greater suffering, but also great lessons.

Absolute verse relative truth

• Absolute Truth is a state of Being. It is the experience of the Presence of God. It is the felt realisation of my Oneness with Being. 
• Relative truth differs according to my level of consciousness. 

  

The ego is not an enemy to fight or resist

• Don't fight the ego for you strengthen what you fight.  
• The ego is something to be healed and seen through, not destroyed. The snake that caused so much angst, when truly seen, is recognised to be but a harmless piece of rope.
• We are here to raise our consciousness and learn lessons.  We have the perfect ego to learn the lessons we are here to learn.  
• I have the perfect mind and ego for me to be where I'm at and to learn what I am here to learn. No level of consciousness is essentially better than another. 
• Create a spiritual ego (good, moral, pure, righteous) that fights with the ego (evil, bad, sinful) and the battle that ensues will leave no space at all for consciousness. 
• The ego is an information processor; a survival tool, that we're evolving beyond.
• Think of the ego as a pet dog. Not something to hate. Smile at its antics and wonder how you've been taken in by it for so long. But also, do not let it ride rampant.

Transcending the need for approval and the fear of disapproval

• Approval is a projection of the approver's story and conditioning.
• Impressing others is pointless for I'll never know if it's genuine or not. And it can be taken away at any time for the least and most irrational reason. My self-approval is what matters.   
• Don't take anything personally. When people judge me, it has nothing much to do with me. It's their projection.  Their story. 
• Let go of being attached to praise.  Let go of the need to be enough.  
• When you stop needing to be worthy, your inherent worth reveals itself.  

Transcending guilt and shame

• Guilt plays a momentary purpose. Harness it in order to feel sorry and intend to do differently next time. Then let go of all guilt and shame.  They vibrate at a very low level of consciousness and do not serve the world if hung onto.
• I'm exactly where I'm meant to be in the evolution of my consciousness. I always do the best I can at the level of consciousness I'm at at any particular moment.  
• Spiritual work is hard enough without beating myself up.   
• Where I am right now is perfect. Consciousness brought me to this point. 
• I do the best I can with where I am at. I am not perfect. I'm human. My humanness is inherited. Perfection is a lie.
• I am a work in progress. We all are. 
• The brain changes at 200. Below 200, there is no choice, only ignorance.
• My level of consciousness is different for different parts of my life.  

Transcending the need to judge others (and myself)

• Judgement gives me a very narrow and partial view of a life and a person.  
• When I think "This person should be... " what I mean is  "I want him to be ..."  
• Let go of desire for him / her to be any way other than what she is. He / she is perfect as he / she is. 
• A person is just being who they meant to be right now.  
• Socrates. "Every man does what he perceives as the greatest good."
• One level of consciousness is not better than another. All levels of experience lead to experience and learning.
• All resistance and judgement has a secret pay-off for the ego.
• In truth, there is never anything to forgive. People are as they are meant to be at any moment.  Be compassionate and loving instead.
• If you want to stop judging, say "Bring  it on!  Give me more judgement." Observe the feelings that arise and let them go.   

Transcending "sin" by avoiding it

• Sin is that which weakens me.  Sin is that which vibrates at low levels of consciousness. Don't fight it.  

 

Transcending thought by allowing it but not identifying with it

• Ego is identification with the radio of the mind.  
• I'm not my thoughts.  Thoughts aren't even of the ego.  Ego doesn't create thoughts. But it reacts to them, believes in them, takes ownership of them.  
• Thoughts are not created by the mind. The mind is an antenna tuning in at a certain level of consciousness. Fear leads to worrying thoughts. Listen to the radio and the thoughts get louder.
• I don't need to ever feel guilty or bad about the thoughts I have. Thoughts are generated before I'm even conscious of them.  

Transcending emotional pain by really feeling it and thereby letting it go

• All emotions, no matter how unpleasant they may feel at first, are merely  physical sensations. Let go of thought and feel (observe) the emotion as a pure sensation. 
• Bring attention to the body and the emotions generating and empowering the distressing thought.  
• Where do I feel it? How does it feel? What is its colour?  Watch it change.  
• The pain I am releasing is built up from the repressed pain of this life and other lives.  It may also be part of collective human pain that is part of my role to release for the benefit of The All.  
• Get in touch with the emotion (unblocked by thought) rather than intellectually think it through (e.g. worry)  Thought blocks and amplifies emotions.  
• When I release what seems like bottomless pain, there will be an end eventually.  I am releasing 42 years of repressed pain.  (This proved to be absolutely correct!)
• The pain of loss opens the awareness that what I truly am cannot be diminished.    
• All the pain of losing Dani helped me realise who I really am. What I did is exactly what I needed and she needed at that time.  (Life ended up great for her with a doting husband and beautiful child. And for me too.)
• When thought ceases (like on recent walks), emotions flow beautifully.  
• I can try to rationalise and reflect till I am blue in face - if the emotions below is strong and unfelt, it will be a constant battle.  

Spiritual evolution is a journey of surrender and letting go 

• A spiritual life will always have challenges. Once I've unblocked one thing, another thing will likely emerge to be healed. The spiritual path is not about constant peace.  
• Think of your future enlightened self pulling you to enlightenment.

Transcending fear ...

• Ask "What is the fear? What's the problem."  Get to the deepest possible emotion by asking "So what?" over and over.
• Fear is ignorance and illusion. Truth is that which brings peace (a higher state of being).

... including the fear of death...

• Death is not to be feared. There is scientific evidence of past lives. Hypnosis has been used to remember past things that can then be verified.  
• People who've come back say there is no judgement at death except some temporary self-judgement. Veils are lifted. 

...and the fear of hell 

• Eternity is not forever. It is the timeless Now. All experience exists in time and passes.  Hell is a state of contracted consciousness (suffering) that passes.
• Hell is not a punishment. It is a choice. 
• Karma is not about punishment or judgement.  It is simply the impartial and impersonal law of consequences.

 

The power of intention

• Use intentions as your compass. They are all you can truly control.
• The energy of the intention behind an action will determine its outcome.
• The only free will you have is to set your intention. In that way, you start to change the field.  
• Set the intention and watch. That's all you can do. 
• Always ask yourself what state (level of consciousness) your intention is coming from.
• Will and intention doesn't come from ego, but from the grace of Consciousness. 
• Where on the map do I choose to be and act from?  
• No level on the map of consciousness is inherently right or wrong. But do look and reflect onthe emotions you'll experience at that level. And the level of love & peace - or suffering.

The power of spiritual will (versus will power)

• Spiritual will comes from a high level of consciousness and is impersonal. It is a form of Power inherent in Consciousness. Will power, on the other hand, is personal. It is a forcing, trying and grasping. Power is infinitely more powerful than force. Force (including will power) is finite and energy sapping while Power (including spiritual will) is self-sustaining. 

The power of Love

• I make love my intention. Love vibrates very high and is extremely powerful.  Everything is an opportunity for love and kindness.
• I don't need to try to force love out of myself. Love is not something I need to do. I am love. I open to the love inside me and let it flow through me.  
• Learn and evolve and be loving and kind. Every situation is an opportunity to love and learn.  

The power of prayer and meditation

• Meditation reduced crime in New York by 30 percent.
• Pray for strength and clearness / rightness of mind, not for events to change.  
• The intention (energy) behind the prayer is most important - where  on the ladder of consciousness is it coming from?  The higher the level, the greater the power.  Prayers of love and gratitude are thus very powerful.

The power of self-care

• Consider the metaphor of the oxygen mask. I need to help myself before I can help others.  

The power of humility that comes with a realisation of the truth of Oneness

• All spiritual progress and the raising of one's level of consciousness is grace from consciousness.  The ego cannot take credit.  
• Feel grateful, not superior or special.  My energy field is not personal. There is  in truth nothing I control.  
• It's not me doing anything.  There is in truth no "me". All is done by the grace and power of God.
• Pride always comes with fear of falling.  Humility is fearless.
• Humility is not thinking less of myself. It is thinking of myself less.

Realise decisions are emotional, not rational

• All my decisions are made by emotion, not the rational mind. The rational mind just justifies afterwards.  
• Even if I know rationally it's wrong, it's the emotion (tapped into consciousness I'm at) that makes the decision. 
• I grow increasingly aware of the emotion at the heart of my decisions. 

Using the map of consciousness for decision making

• Use the map for decision making. What level am I making the decision from (E.g. love verse fear?) 
• Remember my financial decision to do the paperwork myself to get my RA funds from South Africa or outsource it to experts. We looked at it going up the ladder and everything pointed to doing it myself. Then we got to the level of Love and I realised it would be far more loving to myself to outsource it. It turned out to be absolutely the right decision. The paper work revealed itself to be very complex and would have been an awful and long-lasting source of stress!  This was a real eureka moment for me of the power of using the map of consciousness as a decision making tool.

Farewell Geraldine, a wonderful spiritual teacher

Passed away: 27 February 2014

"I would like my life to be a statement of love and compassion--and where it isn't, that's where my work lies."

Celebration of Geraldine's life (March 9)

Letter  (25 November 2013)

Geraldine, you have opened my eyes to indescribable wonder and beauty. Through the consciousness and wisdom that flows through you, I've discovered the power of stillness and prayer and reflection and my experiences of what's within have been so precious and healing that every other experience I've ever had pales in significance. I'll never be the same.  Thank you this priceless gift.  Words aren't enough.

Letter (18 June 2013)

Dear Geraldine  

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your light and your wisdom and your love on Saturday.  Your teachings over the past year have transformed my life already so much.  Saturday for me was a culmination, a turning point, an extraordinary beak through and I'll never be the same again.

First was the revelation that guilt is so low on the ladder - that it veritable sucks up and blocks consciousness.  Second was the revelation of the great healing power of remorse.  Third was the realisation that my life is unfolding according to a divine order, and that I can trust that and surrender to that completely and welcome whatever comes - and that I'll be ok no matter what.  Fourth was your comment, one I've head from you many times before, but for some reason it resonated like a lightning bolt this time: "Pray like mad."  

I haven't prayed since I was a very young child, when I did deeply and regularly, but something happened that scared me and I stopped altogether.  Well, I've started to pray again - pray all the time - and it's opened the gates and I feel like I've come home.  My meditation has given me many glimpses of my divine essence over the past year, and I've wanted to believe so much in the light of my being - that it is there and that's it real, that it's not just wishful thinking.  Experiences I've had over the past few days, through my prayer and meditation, have awakened me to an unshakable certainty.  It's led to a great cleansing and outpouring of pain that has needed to be let free for such a long, long time.  It's led to a deep sense of peace and a deep joy. 

My chat with D the other night was more difficult that I'd even imagined, she was angry and hurt. If I hadn't been with you on Saturday, I would be in a very dark place.  Instead, I've been able to keep my  consciousness flowing, which has helped me to respond with compassion and love - both for her and myself.  And it's been the catalyst to all I describe above.

So, thank you, Geraldine, so, so much.  You are such a light. Consciousness works through you in such profound ways and you've blessed all our lives so, so deeply.

With great love,

Graeme

Key quotes from Geraldine

• Do the work! 
• Be ok with being ordinary. 
• Don't be an approval junkie. 
• Everything has a divine plan. 
• Be the change you want to see. 
• Guilt is the caviar of the ego. 
• Anger is forgetting who you are. 
• The Dalai never goes to rallies. 
• Don't care what people think of you. 
• Show up fully for all experiences. 
• One new habit at a time. Take small steps. 
• Trust is a habit that must be practiced 
• Truth cannot be known, only experienced. 
• Starve your ego by swallowing your pride. 
• Anger is never caused by you. It's in you. 
• Give up constant judgements and evaluation.
• Reacting unconsciously is giving up your power. 
• Meet each person as if for the first time. 
• Spirituality is the ego's favourite outfit.  
• Who are you to know what's best for another? 
• Be yourself and allow others to be themselves. 
• You draw everything into your life for a reason. 
• Be no more for praise and no less for criticism. 
• Worrying is like praying for what you don't want. 
• The quiet moments are not conducive to this work. 
• People change all the time. See them afresh and anew each time you meet. 
• The ego uses past and future to steal the present.
• Be kind and loving.  And expect nothing in return. 
• The ego uses past and future to steal the present. 
• Is what I'm abut to say kind? Necessary? The truth? 
• Chip away at the marble to create your David within. 
• The world is a mirror of your state of consciousness. 
• Be a conscious responder, not an unconscious reactor. 
• Be authentic and real. Stop polishing your self image.
• Really question concepts.  What does this really mean?  
• Each time you starve a compulsion, it loses some strength. 
• Empty your mind of what you think you know.  Drop opinions. 
• Seek understanding before being understood. Ask and listen. 
• Every moment is brand new. In every moment you begin afresh. 
• You didn't choose to come here today. Your divine being did. 
• Nothing that can be born, live and die is who you really are.  
• External events are never as important as the way you react to them. 
• When you judge someone, end it with the words "... just like me." 
• Love what is. Pray "Help me to transmute this and turn it into love."
• Never blame others for how you feel. That's your responsibility. 
• The ego expects.  Essence allows.  Let go of your expectations of others. 
• The best way to teach your kids is to "be it."  Teach by example. 
• Adopt a beginner's mind. Sit down before fact like a little child. 
• We do so much to buy love, forgetting all the time that we are love. 
• In today's society, pride is seen as a virtue. It's not. It's a vice! 
• External events are never as important as the way you react to them.  
• Attachment happens when you mistake something outside for who you are. 
• When I react to someone, what is this person teaching me about myself. 
• The easiest way to avoid falling off your perch is to get down off it.  
• We need a little dose of craziness to break the shackles of the norm.   
• If something affronts, realise there is no self there. Let it go through. 
• Am I showing up for this experience?  Accept it.  Learn from it.  Use it.  
• Everyone is trying to save us from ourselves.  Stop trying to save others. 
• We react most negatively and strongly when we sense the Ego is under attack. 
• Feel remorse but then forgive yourself.  Be determined to do it differently. 
• You won't see the soul in a person if you see through a haze of perceptions. 
• Try not to change people. Their divine being knows exactly who they need to be. 
• Don't comb the mirror.  Don't try to change externals. Do your own inner work.  
• In every good there is bad - and vice versa. Divine being lives beyond duality. 
• Trust everything is for your highest good.  You don't need to know what that is. 
• In relationship, there's only one person there. The other person is your mirror. 
• In a relationship, there is just one of you.  There's no other there. We're one. 
• 7 virtues: Kindness, Humility, Temperance, Chastity, Diligence, Patience, Charity 
• Shake things up. Break repetitive cycles and old routines.  Do something different. 
• If you spoke to you the way your mind does, how long would you stay friends with you? 
• When your ego is on the war path, the first casualties are your compassion and wisdom. 
• The ego is a many headed Medusa of little "i's"  Cut one off and expect others to grow. 
• Respond rather than react. It's not your business what others do. Just how you respond. 
• Pray like mad.  Use prayer and compassion to clean up the ego.  Pray for right mindedness. 
• Stop putting energy into your image.  Stop pretending to be perfect.  Admit your weaknesses. 
• Giving approval puts kids under intense pressure.  Love them, irrespecitive of what they do. 
• We do so much to buy love. Things we do, strive for, say. Yet, we are love - we are what we seek. 
• How aware was I today?  If you can't remember much about your day, you've not been very conscious. 
• People aren't responsible for the way you react. And you aren't responsible for the way they react.  
• Drop all beliefs. Beliefs are illusions. Just constructs of the mind.  The truth is beyond the mind. 
• Every moment has infinite possibilities. Am I accessing them?  Or always choosing the same one over and over? 
• Don't try to change people.  There Divine Beings know exactly where they need to be.  Accept people as they are. 
• Old stuff comes up because it needs to be reinterpreted.  You can change the past by changing your perception of it. 
• May all beings be happy.  May all beings be at peace. May all beings be free of suffering and the causes of suffering. 
• See the potential in this moment. Every moment is brand new.  In this moment, there are infinite possibilities and choices 
• Take full responsibility for the situation you're in.  For who you are and how you show up in the world. For how you respond. 
• Take 100 % responsibility. Make zero excuses. Take ownership of your anger. It's in you.  Take responsibility for your reactions. 
• It's not your business what others do. Just how you respond.  But can learn from it. See what happens when people forget who they are. 
• Give up all self image and concept.  Don't hide your ratbaggedness! Be open about it.  Stop putting energy into your image and pretending to be perfect. 
• The ego demands, the self prefers.  The ego competes, the self co-operates.  The ego fears, the self trusts.  The ego expects and controls, the ego allows. 
• Don't give your opinion. You never know what's best for another.  Let their soul come to its own inner wisdom.   Ask what they think.  Really listen. Help people find their own answers. 
• When you complain about someone, end the sentence with the words "just like me." For example, look at that person acting all mean ... just like me. It stops the feeling of separateness. Reminds us that we have done the same, and now we know how it feels. Do it also if you think positive thoughts about someone.