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Showing posts with label Christina. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christina. Show all posts

June 28, 2026

Tina's memories

I recorded Tina recalling memories of her early life and ChatGPT turned it into a mini-memoir


A Life Shaped by Books, Art, and Courage

I was born in England in 1934, and some of my earliest memories are of war.

When the Second World War began, I was only five years old. We lived in Norfolk in a two-storey house, and German bombers would fly directly overhead. I can still see them in my mind's eye. The planes were low enough that you could make out the lights and even glimpse the pilot. Whenever the air-raid sirens sounded, my mother would scramble to get her five children into the shelter at the bottom of the garden. It was a rough earthen bunker reached by steep, uneven steps.

Oddly enough, I was never terrified. While my mother desperately tried to hurry us to safety, I would often stop and stare upward, fascinated by the sight of those aircraft floating through the night sky. Children experience the world differently. I did not fully understand war, devastation, or death. I was simply captivated by what I saw.

My father was a journalist and was exempt from military service because his work was considered essential. My mother carried the enormous burden of raising five children during wartime. Looking back, I can only marvel at how she managed.

The war was only one part of my childhood. Home itself was not an especially happy place.

I was the second of five children, and there was a great deal of competition among us. It often felt like a scramble for existence. Some children seemed more favoured than others, and children are acutely sensitive to those things. I developed very low self-esteem and spent many years carrying the feeling that I somehow mattered less.

My family was Catholic, and religion shaped every aspect of our lives. I grew up believing in sin, divine judgment, and eternal damnation. Confession was a regular part of life. As a child, I dreaded it. You were expected to confess your sins honestly because God was always watching. There was no hiding from Him. The fear was real and deeply ingrained.

As I grew older and became aware of sexuality, confession became even more uncomfortable. Desire itself seemed wrapped in guilt. Looking back now, I find it hard to understand how children could grow up under such a burden of fear and shame.

Neither home nor school felt particularly warm. The convent school I attended was strict, austere, and surrounded by rules. Love and affirmation were not things I encountered often. My father was intelligent and highly articulate, but he was not affectionate. My mother had moments of tenderness, but with five children and endless responsibilities, those moments were fleeting.

Yet there was one memory that has stayed with me all my life.

I was about six years old and ill at home while the other children were at school. My mother sat beside me and showed me genuine affection. It sounds like such a small thing, but it felt extraordinary. I remember realizing, with surprise, that she loved me. It is a rather pitiful thing to treasure, perhaps, but that moment revealed how hungry I was for love and reassurance.

Fortunately, two great gifts entered my life and changed everything: books and art.

At about seven years old, I discovered books. From that moment on, life became much more manageable. Books were my refuge, my escape, and my salvation. I adored Enid Blyton. The Famous Five, The Secret Seven, Mallory Towers—I devoured them all. Through those stories I entered worlds full of adventure, friendship, and possibility.

Books became more than entertainment. They became companions. They opened the door to language, imagination, and creativity. They gave me a place where I could disappear when the real world felt difficult.

At the same time, I discovered that I could draw.

In a class of more than thirty children, I was known as the artist. Drawing came naturally to me. Nobody had to teach me. While I struggled with confidence in almost every other area of life, art gave me something precious: competence. I knew I was good at it.

Looking back, books and art were the twin lights that illuminated an otherwise bleak landscape. Thank goodness for both.

Animals also played an important role in my childhood. I had beautiful white rabbits and a dachshund, and I developed a lifelong love of animals. Later, as a teenager, I longed to ride horses. I never had the opportunity. Money simply wasn't available for such luxuries when you were one of five children in a journalist's household. But my fascination with horses never left me.

I was a shy child, but I was also rebellious. I broke rules and frequently got into trouble. Beneath my shyness was a fiercely independent streak that would remain with me throughout my life.

After school I attended art school, which felt like the first real doorway into the life I wanted. Although I was nervous and painfully shy, art school was a revelation. I discovered a world filled with creative people, ideas, and possibilities.

I remember sitting in life-drawing classes, sketching nude models, and realizing how much larger the world was than the narrow confines of my childhood. We worked mostly in realistic styles then. The abstract work came much later.

At art school I met Peter.

Peter came from a very different background. His father was a farm labourer, but Peter was intelligent, ambitious, creative, and charismatic. We fell in love and eventually moved together to London.

London was exciting. I worked in advertising, using my drawing skills professionally for the first time. Compared with the agencies I had known in Norwich, London felt sophisticated and alive. We lived near Hyde Park and became part of the creative world that flourished there.

Eventually Peter and I married, and life took another turn.

We moved to Ireland and began our family. Motherhood became my new vocation. It was exhausting, all-consuming, and deeply rewarding. With young children, there was little room left for professional work. My creative life had to take a back seat while I poured my energy into raising a family.

By then I had already begun distancing myself from Catholicism. Leaving behind the strict rules and fears of my upbringing was one of the best decisions I ever made. The Church had shaped my childhood profoundly, but eventually I needed a wider, freer understanding of life.

For years Peter and I dreamed of moving somewhere sunnier. We were tired of the grey skies, cold weather, and endless gloom of Britain and Ireland. Australia held a powerful attraction.

So we made the leap.

With children in tow and little money, we boarded a ship and sailed to Australia. It was a huge adventure. Looking back, it seems astonishingly brave.

We settled first in Manly, one of the most beautiful places imaginable. Peter freelanced in advertising, and we built a new life from scratch. The children thrived in the sunshine and outdoor lifestyle. Every day Peter would catch the ferry across Sydney Harbour to work. It felt like a fresh beginning.

I never regretted the decision.

Australia gave us light, space, freedom, and possibility. It became home.

Looking back over my life now, I can see how much of it was shaped by the things that sustained me when I was young: books, art, imagination, and the determination to keep moving forward despite fear.

I was not raised in an especially loving environment. I often felt unseen. I carried self-doubt for many years. Yet creativity gave me a voice. Books gave me companionship. Art gave me identity. And courage—sometimes quiet courage, sometimes desperate courage—carried me across oceans and through the many chapters of a long life.

In the end, those things became the threads that stitched my story together.


June 13, 2026

A 3 day visit to Carcoar

 A wonderful, relaxing time with some of my favourite people in the world.


Highlights

  • Soul nourishing chats with Dom during the car trip there and back.
  • Listening to the story of Tina's early life.
  • The gorgeous animals. I love them all. Gypsie and Mellie the dogs. The chicken who comes into the house. The beautiful cat. The gorgeous horse and his two sheep side kicks.
  • Watching the movie Sovereign. Rather bleak story but amazing acting.
  • Some amazing meals at Ruths, cafe, pub and Lebanese restaurant on the way home.
  • Doing a thorough clean, sweep and tidy before I went.











Sitting outside at Tina's retirement home


Beautiful art by Tina




December 28, 2025

A song for Tina

I created a song for Tina which she loved.  I shared it with her when I spent Xmas with her and the family.



Message from Marion who I shared the song with



Still So Here


Verse 1

Ninety-one years and you’re still so here,
Clear in your laughter, steady and near.
You chose good living, a mindful way,
Less sugar, more care, more light in your days.
Coleslaw on the table, biscuits just right,
You’ve always known how to nourish a life.

Pre-Chorus

There’s a quiet wisdom in the way you move,
A gentleness shaped by what you’ve lived through.

Chorus

You’re still so here, still warm, still bright,
Still opening hearts just by your light.
Time may pass, but this much is true:
The world is kinder for having you.

Verse 2

Kirribilli mornings, harbour in view,
Tuesday night silence breaking us through.
A shared stillness, a knowing glance,
Learning to rest in the present’s expanse.
You followed the call all the way to India’s door,
Came back with a heart that could love even more.

Pre-Chorus

Something opened and never closed again,
A deeper yes to joy and pain.

Chorus

You’re still so here, still open, still true,
Still seeing beauty where others don’t choose.
In books, in art, in a perfectly played tune,
You meet the world like a long-held friend.

Verse 3

You see the world like an artist does,
Feeling the colours before the words.
A type four heart, uniquely true,
Making meaning where few can do.
Even loneliness taught you how
To love more deeply, right here, now.

Verse 4

Ruth’s food on the table, colour and care,
Paint on the walls and love everywhere.
Dom by your side through the hardest days,
Finding new ground in courageous ways.
Dogs in the garden, balls flying fast,
You smile at the joy that’s never the past.

Pre-Chorus

Your love keeps widening, quietly strong,
A place where so many of us belong.

Chorus

You’re still so here, still generous, still kind,
Still making a home in the hearts that you find.
Family and friendship, gathered and true,
We’re richer for simply knowing you.

Bridge

Scrabble words waiting,
Road trips to Bowral,
Lunches and laughter,
Table tennis battles.
Sushi at Taki,
Harbour cafés,
Deep conversations
That carried our days.

You speak it in moments, in laughter and care,
In the warmth of your presence, in how you are there.

Final Chorus

You’re still so here, and you always will be,
In art and in memory, in you and in me.
This Christmas together, beneath summer skies,
I’m grateful beyond what words can describe.

Outro

So here’s to your courage, your depth, your grace,
Your quiet strength, your radiant face.
My beautiful friend, this song is true:
I am so thankful —
For you.

December 28, 2025

Xmas in Carcoar

A wonderful Xmas in Carcoar full of highlights:

  • Relaxing trip up by train and home by coach. I really enjoyed both journeys.
  • Staying 4 days (24th - 27th Dec)
  • Our core group: Me, Tina, Ruth, Dom, Larry, Eugence, Shorna and Garry (Eugene's delightful Irish friends)
  • Lots of talk about movies and TV shows. We are all movie buffs so so much to discuss!
  • An absolutely delicious Xmas eve meal of lamb and chicken. Shorna and Garry also shared their scrumptious vegan fare.
  • Xmas lunch under the apple tree at Shalom with a beautiful group of locals and visitors from overseas. The perfect venue.
  • Lots of beautiful doggies at Shalom.
  • Driving to Bathhurst with Dom to pick up Matt (having a deep conversation) and when we couldn't see Matt at the station, realising we had driven to Orange instead which is in the opposite direction. Matt was very patient!
  • Invigorating dips in Ruth's wonderful plunge pool.
  • Bonding with Ruth's gorgeous dogs, Gypsie and Mallie.
  • Sharing the song I created for Tina. She was so touched saying "I feel so loved."
  • Sleeping in Ruth's "chateau" down the end of the paddock. I slept so, so well.


Traveling up to Carcoar on the train





Xmas at Ruth's beautiful home


















Xmas lunch under the tree at Shalom











My wonderful abode





October 05, 2025

Tina's 91st birthday in Carcoar

A lovely long weekend in Carcoar celebrating Tina's 91st birthday.  I drove up and came home with Dom (Tina's son) and his partner (Nacha) and we stayed with Ruth, Tina's daughter.


The ride to Carcoar







Delicious Lebanese Dinner


Coffee at The Gallery






Lovely old photo of the Stones




Tina's new home






Tina's birthday
















Gypsy





Carcoar Village














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