Memorable moments: The Waverton slide

I took my beloved Mack for a walk to Waverton Park late one night. As was our ritual, I let him off the lead the moment we hit the grass, letting him bound into the darkness. But the weather turned quickly; a sudden rain began to slick the paths, and we started to make a run for home.

Before I could clip his lead back on, Mack caught a scent or a spark of excitement and bolted toward the road. My heart stopped. A car was approaching, its headlights cutting through the drizzle, just as Mack stepped into its path.

All I could think was, "No, Mack."

Without a second of calculation, I charged into the road. My plan was to scoop him up and carry him to safety, but the wet bitumen had other ideas. My feet went out from under me, and I fell headlong onto the road, sliding directly into the path of the oncoming car. Mack, nimble as ever, skipped out of the way to safety.

The car came to a bone-shaking, screeching halt just inches from where I lay.

The driver was absolutely enraged—and rightfully so. He jumped out of the car, his voice shaking with adrenaline. "Are you crazy!" he screamed. "How can you throw your life away like that for a dog!"

I picked myself up, dripping and bruised, and looked across at Mack. He was standing on the pavement, tail wagging, completely oblivious to the fact that I had just attempted a clumsy martyrdom on his behalf.

In that moment, the driver's logic meant nothing to me. I wasn't thinking about my own safety; I was thinking about how much I loved that dog. I imagined the impossible task of going home to tell Liza, Mack’s co-owner, that he was gone. She was so beyond besotted with him that the news would have been world-ending.

I apologized profusely to the driver, standing there in the rain as he vented his shock. Then, Mack and I turned and walked on into the night. I was wet, sore, and had been thoroughly told off, but as I looked at that dog trotting beside me, I knew I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.

Memoral moments: The duvet reveal

One evening, I decided to take Mack for a walk. For once, I also brought along Milly—my housemates Matt and Sharmista’s year-old pug-spaniel cross. We headed toward Waverton Park, a good three-kilometer trek that took us across Brennan Park and through several busy suburban streets.

When we arrived, the park was shrouded in darkness. There were no lights, but in a moment of misplaced confidence, I let both Mack and Milly off their leads. I walked for a few more minutes, soaking in the night air, before a cold realization hit me: Milly was no longer visible.

I began to panic. I called out "Milly! Milly!" into the blackness. I paced up and down the park, my anxiety spiraling. I even enlisted the help of other walkers, who joined the search with flashlights and sympathetic faces. But after an hour of scouring the shadows, there was still no sign of her.

With a heavy, thudding heart, I began the long walk back to King Street. The guilt was overwhelming. How was I going to break it to them? I had lost their dog in the dark, three kilometers from home. As I crossed the multiple roads back to our house, I rehearsed my apology over and over, bracing for their devastation.

I reached the house and found the front door open. I walked in and saw Matt and Sharmista on the couch, wrapped in a duvet and watching TV. I took a deep breath, my voice trembling, ready to deliver the terrible news.

Suddenly, a small head popped out from the folds of the duvet. Two big, dark eyes blinked at me. It was Milly.

The relief was so intense I nearly collapsed. How a one-year-old pug-spaniel managed to navigate three kilometers of dark parks and busy roads entirely on her own, I will never know. Matt and Sharmista looked up at me with a smile, completely unaware that anything untoward had happened.

I never had the heart to tell them that their dog had spent the last hour dicing with death on the streets of Sydney. I just took a deep breath, sat down, and marveled at the secret, navigational genius of a dog who clearly knew the way home better than I did.

Memorable moments: The bed-wetting bandit

A few years back, my housemates Matt and Sharmista asked if they could get a puppy. In a moment of spectacular lapse in judgment, I said yes. It is a decision I ended up regretting with every fiber of my being.

Enter Milly: a pug-spaniel cross who looked deceivingly sweet but was, in reality, a portable source of immense psychological stress.

Our relationship got off to a literal "crash" start. During her first week, Matt asked if I’d mind her for a moment. I left her downstairs to take a quick shower, only to be interrupted by a haunting howl and a sickening thud. Milly had attempted to scale the stairs, slipped through the gaps between the steps, and plummeted onto the hardwood floor below. I rushed her to the vet, my heart hammering against my ribs, convinced I’d presided over a tragedy. Thankfully, she was fine, but my nervous system was not.

A few weeks later, she escalated her campaign by sneaking into my room and peeing on my bed. Not just once, but several times. I was far from impressed, and Mack—the undisputed Lord of the Manor—found her high-spirited antics utterly "pesky."

The chaos of the household, combined with other factors, eventually led my doctor to prescribe me some Xanax for anxiety. One afternoon, I made the fatal mistake of leaving my bedroom door ajar. I returned to find a scene that looked like a canine rockstar's final hotel room: Milly was sprawled on my bed, surrounded by an open bottle and pills scattered across the linens.

For the second time in a matter of months, I was racing a "horror of a dog" to the vet to have her stomach pumped.

I have never felt a sense of relief quite like the day Matt, Sharmista, and their pharmacological-adventurer of a dog finally moved out. Mack and I watched them go, finally reclaiming our quiet sanctuary.

And just like that, peace returned.

Mack resumed his rightful throne, I resumed my sanity, and somewhere out there, Milly continued her experimental research into pharmaceuticals—now, thankfully, under someone else’s supervision.

Memorable moments: The scent of enlightenment

I had just returned from a Sunday spiritual retreat—a day steeped in meditation, mindfulness, and the kind of profound silence that makes you feel as though you’re floating six inches off the ground. By the time I arrived home, my calm was absolute. I was in an enlightened, Zen-like state, a "dispassionate witness" to the world.

Mack greeted me, though with notably less joyful abandon than usual. This was in the era before Liza, and I’d been forced to leave him with my housemate, Craig—a man with whom Mack didn’t exactly "gel."

Still wrapped in my blanket of peace, I remembered the laundry I’d left in the machine before the retreat. I went to retrieve it, carried it upstairs, and meticulously hung it on the clothes horse on my balcony. It was only then that a distinctly non-spiritual aroma began to pierce my meditative bubble.

I looked down. My shoes were covered. I looked at the floor. My bedroom was a minefield. The stairs, the lounge, the kitchen—it was everywhere.

The source, I realized, was the laundry room. Mack, perhaps voicing his profound displeasure at being left behind, had made a significant "deposit" right in front of the machine. In my enlightened haze, I had walked straight through it and proceeded to stamp my new, smelly reality into every square inch of the house.

"Shit!" I said—a mantra somewhat different from the ones I’d practiced that morning.

My school of meditation was all about "The Witness." Observe the breath. Observe the sensation. Do not react. So, as I spent the next hour and a half on my hands and knees with a mop and a bucket, I repeated my new focus: "Witness and don’t react."

It was the ultimate spiritual practice. I stood over the bucket, a dispassionate observer of the Pine O'Cleen, trying to remain grounded while the physical evidence of Mack’s indignation met my scrubbing brush.

I can’t say I passed the test with flying colors—there may have been some un-Zen-like muttering under my breath—but I was certainly less agitated than I would have been without the retreat. Mack had taught me a valuable lesson: enlightenment is all well and good, but in the real world, you still have to watch where you step.

Memorable moments: Thick as Tina

Growing up, we had a beloved dog named Tina. I have never, in all my years, seen a dog who could wag her tail with such violent, sustained joy. It didn't matter if you’d been gone for two years or two minutes; Tina’s tail was her primary mode of communication.

Eventually, her enthusiasm became her undoing. She wagged so hard and so often against the walls that her tail was constantly injured, the scabs breaking open and spraying blood everywhere in a rhythmic, joyful massacre. It lasted for months until it became untenable. With heavy hearts, my parents had the vet remove it.

Tina returned home wearing a pair of female panties for a few weeks to protect the healing stump. But the loss of the tail didn't dampen her spirit; it just forced her to find a new medium for her delight. From that day on, when she saw you, she would emit a low, rumbling hum of pleasure through her nose while her entire hindquarters swung from side to side in a rhythmic "butt-wag." If the excitement reached a certain threshold, she’d punctuate the moment by widdling with pure joy.

Tina lived for the driveway ball-toss. We had another dog, Meg, and the competition between them was nothing short of existential. For Tina, getting to the ball before Meg wasn't just a game—it was her life’s work. If Meg won, the heartbreak was visible.

When she wasn't competing for tennis balls, Tina was hunting shadows. She was particularly obsessed with the moving silhouettes of butterflies, chasing them across the grass for hours, barking at the ground, and occasionally stubbing her nose on the dirt in her pursuit of a dark spot. At night, she’d transfer that intensity to torchlight, sprinting after a beam of light as if it were a tangible prize.

My grandfather, never one to mince words, used to use her as the family benchmark for intelligence. If my sister or I did or said something particularly dim-witted, he’d shake his head and say, "Don’t be as thick as Tina."

He wasn't entirely wrong about her IQ, but I loved her with all my heart. She was the kinetic, shadow-chasing soundtrack to my childhood and teens—a dog who might not have understood how light worked, but who understood exactly how to love a family with every fiber of her (short-tailed) being.

Memorable moments: Lord Muck of the Manor

A short while after Ally and I separated, an old friend moved into the spare room. He was a steady presence, paid his rent on time, and I appreciated the extra income. But as it turned out, he wasn’t just paying rent; he was also conducting a six-month sociological study on the power dynamics of my household.

One afternoon, he handed me a book. The title was blunt: "What to Do When Your Dog is the Alpha Male in Your Relationship."

I flipped it over and saw a quote by Martha Scott that felt like a personal attack: "Don’t make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they’ll treat you like dogs."

I was, to put it mildly, a little affronted. Why on earth would he buy me such a thing? Mack and I were perfect equals! We shared a life, a vibe, and a mutual respect. I tossed the book onto my shelf in a huff, refusing to give it the satisfaction of a single turned page.

A few weeks later, I finished brushing my teeth and walked into my bedroom, ready for a peaceful night’s sleep. I stopped dead in the doorway. There was Mack, positioned exactly where my head was supposed to go. He wasn't just lying there; he was perched atop my pillow like "Lord Muck," surveying the room with a haughty, regal air that suggested I was merely a guest in his executive suite.

He didn't move. He didn't wag. He just looked at me as if to say, "I believe your spot is at the foot of the bed tonight, human."

I stood there staring at his "proportional" ego and realized the truth. I slowly backed out of the room, walked over to the bookshelf, and pulled down the manual. It turns out that when you treat a Zen Master like a king for long enough, he eventually decides he needs a throne—and in my house, that throne was a standard-sized pillow.

Memorable moments: The dog-flap dilemma

Every morning, I would head out early to my job as an English teacher, leaving Mack comfortably ensconced in the warmth of my bed. Our daily hand-over ritual was clockwork: around 9:00 AM, Liza would arrive, knock on the door, and belt out her signature summons: "Mack, Mack, Mack, Macketty Mack Mack!"

Usually, this triggered a joyful, high-speed sprint as Mack thundered down the stairs and burst through the dog flap for a blissful reunion. But one morning, the wind conspired against the routine and blew my bedroom door shut.

When Liza arrived and gave the call, Mack found himself a prisoner. He went from "Zen Master" to "Houdini in a panic" instantly, barking with a frantic intensity that could be heard down the street. Liza, hearing the desperation, immediately assumed the worst. Mack was injured. Mack was dying. Mack had somehow succumbed to the "sucker" appendix genes of the Myburgh line.

In a state of total maternal panic, she tried my mobile, but I was in the middle of a lesson with my phone switched off. Desperate times called for desperate measures. Liza decided the only way into the fortress was through the dog flap.

Now, Liza is not a large woman, but she isn't exactly "canine-proportioned" either. She dropped to her hands and knees and committed to the entry. She managed to get her head and shoulders through the portal before the laws of physics intervened. She was stuck—wedged firmly in the doorframe, unable to go forward and unwilling to go back.

It was at this exact moment that my housemate arrived home. He walked up the path to find a pair of legs and a bottom waving in the air, while the rest of Liza was inside the house, still gamely yelling, "Mack! Mack! Mack!" into the hallway. All the while, the "victim" continued his operatic barking from the safety of the upstairs bedroom.

It takes a special kind of person to prioritize a barking dog over the basic laws of physics and personal decorum. Liza didn't just want to save Mack; she was willing to become a permanent part of the house’s infrastructure to do it. My housemate’s arrival was the only thing that saved her from a very long morning of "Macketty Mack-ing" into the carpet. After that, we decided that a spare key was a much more "proportional" solution than Liza attempting to shrink herself to the size of a spaniel.

Memorable moments: The prayer gong paradox

Mack was, in many ways, a spiritual dog—a natural Zen master of the "now." He was a creature of the light; if a single sunbeam pierced the shadows of my room, he would find it and claim it instantly. He even had a dedicated meditation practice. In my early days, I used to meditate lying on the floor with my feet up on the bed, and Mack would immediately come and settle his weight onto my chest and tummy, resting his head on my shoulder to soak up the chilled-out vibrations.

When a group of friends invited me to a formal weekend meditation retreat, I asked if I could bring my four-legged guru along. They were hesitant—retreats are usually strictly human affairs—but because Mack was so famously placid, they made an exception.

We arrived, and Mack played his part perfectly. He slipped quietly under my chair, a silent shadow of canine composure. We went through the formal preparations, grounding ourselves and sinking into a deep, collective calm. The room was heavy with silence and spiritual intent.

Then, Brendan picked up the striker and hit the prayer gong.

Now, there is one thing—and one thing alone—that makes Mack go absolutely ballistic, and that is a doorbell. To his ears, the resonant, metallic claaaang of the sacred gong wasn't a call to enlightenment; it was a high-priority intruder alert.

Mack didn't just wake up; he launched himself from under the chair like a furry missile. He began to bark uncontrollably, a frantic, rhythmic explosion of noise that shattered the "oneness" of the room into a million jagged pieces. The "semblance of calm" didn't just evaporate; it was hunted down and mauled.

I had to scramble to my feet, grab his collar, and drag my "Zen Master" out of the hall while apologizing profusely to a room full of people who had just been violently ejected from their third eye.

It was deeply embarrassing. I realized that day that while Mack was indeed a creature of the light, he was also a creature of the front porch. He proved that even in the deepest state of meditation, there is no sound quite as powerful as the one that tells a dog there might be a postman at the door.

Memorable moment: The blonde magnet

Mack always loved me, but I was never under any illusion about the hierarchy of his heart. He was absolutely, unconditionally devoted to Ally. When we eventually separated and she moved away, Mack was left with a lingering, hopeful void.

Every trip to the park near my house became a high-stakes investigation. If Mack spotted a woman with blonde hair—whether she was fifty yards away or just a glimmer on the horizon—he was off like a shot. He was convinced, every single time, that he’d finally found his missing person.

I, of course, had to follow in his wake. I’d jog across the field, arriving breathless just as Mack was realizing his mistake, and I’d have to offer a sheepish, "Sorry, he thought you were someone else... Hi, I'm [Name]."

It didn't take long for me to realize that Mack had inadvertently become the most brilliant "ice-breaker" in the history of dating. He was introducing me to every attractive blonde woman in the neighborhood with a success rate that a professional matchmaker would envy.

I looked at him one afternoon, panting and happy after yet another "investigation," and realized I was sitting on a goldmine. I thought to myself, I should really be renting this dog out to the eligible bachelors of the neighborhood by the hour. I could have made a fortune. Mack would get his exercise, the bachelors would get their introductions, and I’d be the tycoon behind the world’s first "Canine Wingman" agency.

Memorable moments: The forensic envelope

Not long after Liza came into our lives—and into Mack’s—I returned home to find a mysterious envelope taped to my front door. It wasn’t a bill or a friendly "hello" card; it felt strangely weighted.

I opened it up, and two small pieces of plastic fell out into my palm. I turned them over, squinting at them, trying to identify which household object had met a violent end. Tucked inside was a handwritten note from Liza:

"I found these in Mack’s poo. I’m most concerned. What has he been eating?"

I stood there on the porch, staring at the plastic evidence of Mack’s internal transit system. It was a baptism by fire into our new co-parenting arrangement. Most people might start a relationship by sharing a bottle of wine or a nice meal; Liza and I started ours with a shared, high-stakes investigation into what, exactly, Mack had decided was an appetizer.

It was a clear signal that Liza wasn't just a casual observer in Mack’s life—she was a woman who didn't mind getting her hands dirty (literally) to ensure his well-being. Looking at those two pieces of plastic, I realized that if Mack could survive his own questionable diet, and I could survive the horror of receiving his "output" in an envelope, the three of us were going to get along just fine.

Memorable moments: The silky souvenir

Mack had ears that were, quite simply, a sensory delight. They were so incredibly silky that I used to spend ages just stroking them, marveling at the texture. One day, in a moment of dry, tongue-in-cheek humor, I turned to his co-owner, Liza, and made a suggestion.

"You know," I said, "when Mack eventually goes, I think I want to have his ears removed. I’ll turn them into a keyring so I can keep that silkiness with me forever."

I expected a laugh or a mock-shudder. Instead, Liza looked at me with a face of total, unwavering seriousness.

"Oh, good," she said. "I’ve been meaning to bring this up. I’m going to keep the rest of him and have him taxidermied. I want to put him right in the middle of my living room."

I stared at her in genuine horror. My "keyring" joke suddenly felt very small compared to the vision of a stuffed Mack standing guard over the coffee table. "Are you... are you being serious?" I stammered.

She held the gaze for a heartbeat longer, then a mischievous smile finally broke across her face. "Yes," she said, her eyes twinkling.

I never did get that keyring, and thankfully, Mack never ended up as a statue in the lounge. But that moment of wide-eyed horror remains one of my favorite memories of the absurdity that comes with loving a dog as much as we loved him.

Memorable moments: The posh poodle predicament

When I was an early teen, I went on holiday to Plettenberg Bay with my school friend, Greg Perkes. We stayed with his grandparents, who were the living embodiment of "posh"—all silver tea services, refined accents, and an atmosphere so polite you felt you needed a permit just to sneeze.

We were sitting in the lounge, balancing delicate china plates on our knees and exchanging pleasantries. My arm was hanging casually by the side of my chair when, suddenly, I felt something latch onto my forearm. It was followed by a very specific, very rhythmic sensation between my fingers.

One of the family’s prize poodles had decided I was the love of its life.

In any other house, someone would have shouted or shooed the dog away. But in this house, the commitment to "decorum" was absolute. Greg’s grandparents continued to discuss the weather and the tea with unwavering focus, staring directly ahead as if my arm wasn't currently being courted by a small, curly-haired romantic.

I was trapped. I didn't want to rip my arm away and shatter the fragile polite silence, so I just sat there—nodding, sipping tea, and trying to look "refined" while a dog made a very honest woman out of my left limb.

It took an eternity to delicately extricate myself without making a scene.

I went in expecting a lesson in high-society manners; I left realizing that "posh" is just a fancy word for being able to ignore a poodle’s mid-afternoon climax while asking if I’d like another lump of sugar.

Memorable moments: The ecstatic return

Every year, I’d travel back to South Africa for several weeks to visit family. During these trips, my dog, Mack, would stay with Liza, who shared "custody" of him with me. It was a perfect arrangement, but the separation always felt like a lifetime.

The absolute highlight of my return to Australia was the moment I walked through the door to be reunited with him. It was a scene of pure, unadulterated chaos.

There was frantic panting, heavy slobbering, and a series of high-pitched, desperate whines. There was uncontrolled jumping, a fair amount of spinning, and enough vigorous bum-shaking to power a small village. It was a display of emotional vulnerability that would have made a Zen master weep.

And honestly, once I calmed down and stopped licking his face, Mack seemed pretty excited to see me, too.

Memorable moments: The fool and the four-legged master

For years, I’ve dedicated myself to a spiritual practice of mindfulness. My goal is simple: to walk in nature, stay grounded in my senses, and eventually become a sort of Zen master of the "Now."

A few years ago, I took my dog, Mack, for our usual route. Mack was in his element—trotting, sniffing every bush with surgical precision, and living entirely in the moment. I started with the best of intentions, but somewhere between the first tree and the third park bench, I got sucked into the vortex of my own head. I was drafting work emails, calculating my to-do list, and reliving old arguments.

Suddenly, I "woke up." I realized I’d been mentally absent for fifteen minutes. I hadn’t seen a single flower or felt the breeze; I had been a ghost in my own body.

I looked down at Mack, who was currently savoring the complex olfactory profile of a blade of grass, his tail wagging in pure, unadulterated presence. I was instantly reminded of The Fool from the Tarot deck—the wanderer stepping off a cliff while his dog yaps at his heels.

I realized then that I wasn’t the Zen master in this relationship. I was the Fool.

The real master was at the other end of the leash—and unlike me, he didn't need a book on mindfulness to enjoy the smell of a good bush.

Memorable moments: The person Mack thinks I am

In 2013, I found myself diving into the digital depths of a Kindle book dedicated to the "Importance of Purpose." It was a heavy, earnest volume designed to help you find your motivation, make a meaningful contribution to the world, and generally become the best possible version of a human being. It was packed with complex exercises and soul-searching prompts, and I was fully committed to the work.

That evening, I was lying on my bed, digital highlighter at the ready, when I looked over at Mack.

He was lying right next to me, his head resting on the duvet. He didn't have a Kindle, he hadn't read a single page of self-help literature, and he certainly wasn't worried about his "contribution to the world." He just looked across at me with an expression of such total, unconditioned love and adoration that it stopped me mid-sentence.

In that gaze, there were no expectations, no performance reviews, and no five-year plans. To Mack, I wasn't an English teacher or a man struggling with his "alpha" status; I was the center of his universe—a flawless, heroic figure capable of infinite kindness (and the occasional steak scrap).

I looked at the complex exercises on the screen and then back at the dog. A sudden, quiet clarity washed over me.

I realized then that I didn't need a three-hundred-page manual to find my "why." My purpose was sitting right there, wagging its tail. I thought to myself, Maybe it’s actually very simple: I just want to be the person my dog thinks I am.

If I could live up to the version of me that existed in Mack’s eyes—the one who was always worth the wait, always worthy of love, and always the "best human" in the room—then all the other exercises would be redundant.

Lovely old photos of Jason

 

Beautiful Lilly

On Boxing day, I met up with Russell, Carmen and Brandon's sister to enjoy a swim and braai at the house Russell was housesitting. I took these photos of Lilly, the gorgeous doggie of the house.

Beautiful Jason

 As usual, lots of wonderful bonding with Jason.  What a beautiful fellow he is. 

My favourite alive doggie in the world (apart from Jason!)

 This is Anoush, Shushann's dog. We have a beautiful bond. Every time I see her, she bursts with excitement. She is a real sweetheart.

The Family's new kitty