Celebrating Jilly's 80th birthday

Jilly had a big milestone birthday yesterday and it was so special getting to share it with her and my other dear friends who I have met through her and her Tuesday night Eckhart Tolle group. It was a beautiful day.

Jilly, radiant as always.  Youngest 80 year old in spirit I've ever met!!

Wonderful friends, who I see at meditation on Tuesday nights (Shushann, Craig, Chris, Desmond)

More beautiful friends (Soni, Karin, Abe, Peter, Lydia, Christina)

Jilly's lovely family and adopted family.

Chris did a really fun (and impressive) magic trick with the cake, making it disappear, and then appear again.  He's such a born entertainer!

Cards and drawings all hand made for Jilly by various people.

The family celebrating Jilly's favourite colour: purple!!

Dear Chris. 

A fun poem that Mandy (Jilly's daughter) wrote.

Jilly reading the poem to the delight of all.

Jilly reading her poem

Gorgeous Jessie (Mandy's dog) who stayed in the car most of the party!

Letter of gratitude to Jilly

Dearest Jilly

I am so, so grateful to you for so many reasons I hardly know where to begin.

• Thank you for bringing Eckhart into my life, a beautiful teacher who has helped me to escape the tyranny of my mind and awaken to the beautiful light of my own Being.  It has brought me an experience of peace and inner stillness I couldn't have imagined.   
• Thank you for bringing Geraldine into my life, a teacher who taught me that by not fearing death, I can more fully embrace life.   
• Thank you for bringing Nic into my life, a teacher who has taught me the gift of self acceptance and compassion, and the innate perfection in all things, including myself.   
• Thank you for bringing the beautiful teaching of Adya and Gangaji into my life.   
• Thank you for being the catalyst to the greatest spiritual transformation I've ever known, especially the unblocking and release of years of repressed pain, which has allowed me to open to love, wonder and joy.   
• Thank you for bringing HAI into my life and the gift of letting myself be seen and connecing deeply with others.   
• Thank you for sharing my spiritual journey with me, for providing constant support and encouragement every step of the way.   
• Thank you for being someone I can be totally real and open and vulnerable with. My first real experience of what true intimacy is. It's the most precious gift in the world.   
• Thank you for being so real and open yourself, for letting me into your own inner world the way you do, for sharing your joys, hopes, longings and fears.   
• Thank you for bringing into my life many people who have become such dear friends: Craig, Chris, Desmond, Peter,  Abe, Irene, Shashane, Lydia, Philip and Christina to name but a few.   
• Thank you for gently challenging me when you can see me stuck in a negative belief or pattern.   
• Thank you for the beautiful space that is your home and how you make it so freely available for the soul nourishment of others, including me.   
• Thank you for your wonderful and often naughty sense of humour, for so many delightful laughs.   
• Thank you for showing me what it's like to be truly young at heart no matter what your age, in touch with your timeless self.   
• Thank you for all the delicious bowls of Jilly Zoop, made with love, and for all the fellowship we've shared over meals.   
• Thank you for the example you show in being an attentive, loving space for others, always listening with an open heart.    
• Thank you for the example you set in being positive and cheerful, despite all the physical pain you feel.   
• Thank you for your smile and your radiance.    
• Thank you for bringing the beautiful music of Peter Miller Robinson into my life.   
• Thank you for wonderful, fun, shared  experiences like our drive up to Kangaroo Valley, watching The 100 Foot Journey, enjoying The New Year fireworks from prime position and delishious lunches at About Life.   
• Thank you for all the beautiful quotes and gems you've shared via email and Facebook and your slips of paper - and for often reading out the ones that have really touched you.  I've added so many of them to my own collection.   
• Thank you for the soul nourishing rituals on a Tuesday night, like "Would someone like to start an Om" and "Let's have a cuppa!"    
• Thank you for all the beautiful hugs we've shared. 
• Thank you dearest Jilly for all these things and so much more.  Before I met you, I never really knew what love was.  Now, in my meditation and in my life, I regularly experience it so deeply it leaves me reeling.  Love so vast, it cannot be described. Love for everyone.  Love for everything.  It's a pricless gift that is healing and transforming me.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you've done to open me to that.    

If someone offered me 100 million dollars and the only condition was that I didn't get to meet you and experience all that you've brought into my life, I'd happily decline.

I love you more than words can express

G  

Me and my little friend

Watching "Whiplash" at North Sydney Sunset Cinema

A perfect evening for outdoor cinema at the beautiful Sydney Oval. And it was wonderful to watch my favourite movie of 2014 again and have friends to discuss it with afterwards.  The first time I saw Whiplash I was alone and it was torture not being able to talk about it after.  It's that kind of movie.  J.K. Simmons is a tour de force and I'd love to see him with the award for best supporting actor.  Highly recommended.

Kayaking through Shoalhaven Gorge

What a wonderful weekend with lovely people including Elna, Srini, Zante, Samira, Howard and Rob. 

Chris very kindly lent me his kayak and I spent the money instead on a roof rack that will hold me in very good stead for paddle skiing and future kayaking trips.  

We did a 15 km paddle deep into the gorge with some stops along the way.  There, we found a camp site and overnighted.  The next day, we did an epic paddle back out of the gorge, without any stops.  A very good workout!

Highlights of the weekend included:

• The beautiful scenery, with the sculptured walls of the gorge and lush greenery, including trees tenaciously hanging onto cliffs.
• The first day, overcast and cool, perfect for kayaking.  It started to rain at one point which was a wonderful excuse for a swim.  There's nothing like that alive feeling of swimming in the rain!
• The camp site where we stayed, plenty of space and nice and secluded back from the river.
• A smorgasbord of delicious shared eats on Saturday night.
• Samira bringing a huge tarp and the fun all the guys had in erecting it from the trees.  It came in very handy, as the rain fell pretty hard on Saturday evening but we were perfectly sheltered.
• The blue skies and sunny weather on Sunday.
• Discovering how meditative paddling is.  On Sunday, we kayaked back without a stop and there were several long spans when my mind closed right down and all I was aware of was each paddle stroke.  It was extremely calming.
• Delicious pies in Kangaroo Valley and a drink at the pub.

A great weekend.  I can definitely get into kayaking.  A big thank you to Chris!

Me on my kayak, lent to me by Chris.  It may not have been the Ferrari of the kayaks there, but I was able to keep up fine and got quite attached to it.

Samira, who did an fantastic job of organising the weekend.  

Rudy kayaking with a fishing rod attached to the back of his kayak. He caught a fish but it wasn't big enough to feed more than a kitten!

Samira, Elna and Howard.  Sharing a kayak is always a brave thing to do for a friendship.  But Elna and Howard were still great mates at the end of the weekend!!  

Paddling into a little enclose for lunch.

I loved the dead trees.  Always so photogenic.

It started to rain and we used this as an excuse for a  swim. The water was lovely and fresh.  Or so we thought, until a kilometer or so up the river we found two bloated kangaroos rotting in the river.  A good lesson.  Never swallow the water!

A wonderful smorgasbord of food to share. Thanks especially to Samira and Elna.

Samira brought a large tarp and we all managed to erect it using the surrounding trees.  So great we had it, because the rain came down hard in the evening.

My beloved tent.  Might not be big, but its compact and lightweight, perfect for this kind of weekend.

The next day dawned nice and sunny. Here is everyone preparing to embark on the paddle back to Kangaroo valley.

The 15 km paddle back was pretty gruelling as we didn't stop once but I managed to take some snaps of the reflections in the water.  Beautiful.

This is my favourite photo of the weekend. Beautiful gorge on both sides, lush trees, blue skies and a lone fluffy cloud.  What more could you ask for?

Just me and the river.

Once we got back to Kangaroo Valley, we stopped for a delicious lamb pie, followed by an even more delicious cherry pie.  Yum!  Then a drink at the pub before the drive home.

Another wonderful video production from Srini.  He's making such fantastic use of his GoPro! 

Jo's photos used in an advertising spread in The Steeenberg Newspaper. She's going from strength to strength!

The ring on the pink heart and the photo of Adrian working are mine

Amazing photo taken by Jo

I'm so in love with this photo taken by Jo on the 20th anniversary of Dad's death.  Seems so fitting to celebrate such sublime beauty on such a day.

Music concert at Jilly's

Jilly has a musician friend; Peter Miller Robinson.  I've been to two of his performances at local pubs with Jilly and always loved his music and voice.  He writes many of his own songs, many with great meaning and depth.  

The introduction on his new web site reads as follows ...

Peter Miller-Robinson is an award winning songwriter, singer and guitarist. He is a storyteller with a keen eye for the foibles and folly of human interaction. He draws on a wide range of styles and traditions to convey sometimes wry, sometimes poignant musical vignettes.
Peter has shared the stage with many local and international artists including Rodriguez, Bo Diddley (RIP), Eric Burdon, Chris Smither, Chris Wilson and Stephan Cummings. He is an enthusiastic live performer and has spent recent years travelling in Ireland, England and mainland Europe playing house concerts, music venues and festivals.

Jilly invited Peter to do an intimate, unplugged performance at her flat for her friends and I helped her organise it.  It was a wonderful evening with great turnout.  Everyone loved Peter's songs.  He's such a lovely, humble guy with a velvet voice.  The highlight was everyone in the audience joining in for some songs and playing a variety of percussion instruments.  I loved it all.

Challenges (2015)

Housemate

• Body corporate car issue (Matt parked in visitors)
• Millie falls & Xanax and pee on bed & eating plants.
• Matt showering

DIY stress

• DIY not fast enough]; self conscious with Matt
• Trying to do the floors while Matt away
• So unsure: Eva's help
• The floor debacle
• The concrete on the floors

Run up to South Africa

• Hospital with weak legs
• The leak and putting it off
• Overwhelm with balcony and; going away
• Going back to Sydney
• Feet tight and hot
• Jury duty
• Mermaid Falls - lose people

Chrisel in South Africa

• Self conscious with Chrisel, especially restaurants
• Port St Johns talk
• Chrisel - few, perfunctory messages
• Thank you note humiliation

Melancholy

• Zyprexa withdrawals
• Dani on Facebook - see her partner
• Long for relationship
• P feeling

HDU for mania

• Fear I am a sacrifice of God.  Hell
• Depression after mania (extreme low energy)

A beautiful tribute from Jo. Oh how it made me cry!

5 February 2015

I can't believe dad passed away 20 years ago today.  I still miss and think about him often.  I would love to see what he would look like today if he was still around.  Would his tummy be rounder, the beard whiter, would the glasses be more trendy and would the video camera still get brought out at Christmas time?  I wonder how many more trains would have been lovingly crafted and what new countries and cities explored! 

I will always remember dad in his hip shirts (he brought in the fashion long before Mandela!), his gentle nature, love of classical music and how he would sometime laugh so much at his own jokes that he would start to cough.  I think I get my love of pruning the garden from dad (I wish I had his chainsaw) and I think back fondly of his love of body surfing at Muizenberg and sleeping on the balcony under the stars. 

Dad, I know your grandchildren would adore you and I wish you were around to take Matthew fishing, show him how to check the water level on the car battery and how all your machines and trains worked.  I loved visiting you in your workshop and always had to tread lightly so not to stand on any metal filings.  I remember reading my Afrikaans books to you for homework and always telling you I only had 3 pages to read out loud and not the actual 8.  (You never checked!).  I loved how you always had a white packet with syringes from work on your top shelf that Graeme and I could have to fill with water and squirt each other.  (We didn't get too wet with 5ml syringe and we loved it when you had the 20ml ones!)

I loved holding your hand as we walked to your red beetle parked under the bridge from your work in Rondebosch, you wearing your white medical shirt and me feeling so proud that you were my dad. 

So dad, thanks for the memories.  It may be 20 years, but you will always be loved and never forgotten.

xxxxxx

An essay written by Sam. What a beautiful writer she is. So evocative!

Grade 9 2015

A View from Above:

I looked across the arid Dubai desert floor, anxiety hanging over me like a heavy rain cloud.  A large piece of colourful material lay limply across the ground.  The faces of my family were drained of all emotion.  I for one didn’t know what to feel.  Happy?  Scared?  Excited?  Nervous?  Yes, I felt nervous.

Today we were going to fly in an air balloon!  This might sound exciting; that is if you don’t have a terrible fear of heights.

Our pilot, Peter, introduced himself, briefing us about all that was in store for today’s flight.  Peter was a loud, bossy man who was wearing a camouflage uniform. He shouted orders to the ground crew, clustered around the soon-to-be-balloon.  He ordered the three, giant fans to be switched on.  The huge balloon quickly filled up with a warm gush of air and it slowly began to crawl over the soft, golden sand.

Peter commanded us all to board the beautiful, woven basket.  It was a tight fit but all 16 members of my family squeezed in.

Purple and orange flames shot up like bullets into the balloon filling it with scorching hot air.  At first we stayed still but then all of a sudden we rose up.  I kept my eyes tightly shut as we kept gaining height.  Suddenly everything went calm.  I slowly opened my eyes and was shocked by what I saw.  We were floating through the clouds.

The almost unnatural looking clouds floated past us in many different shapes and sizes.  They looked like candy floss and cotton wool, all puffy and weightless.  A small breeze gently moved us, guiding the balloon through the air.

I slowly looked down. The view was incredible.  It was as if someone had painted it.  The perfect contrast of golden sands and bright blue skies filled the scenery.  The sand dunes looked minute from the impressive 3000ft we were now flying.  Peter kept moving us higher and higher.  I forgot all about my fear and began to enjoy myself. 

I glanced at the dunes below, taking their magnificent beauty in.  The uneven piles of sand looked as if someone had sprinkled them, purposely making the smaller ones dwarfed by the larger ones.  The land stretched as far as the eye could see.

I found myself slightly disappointed when our pilot told us that our time was over.  We began the descent.  We floated just meters off the ground.  All of a sudden we started jerking back and forth.  Peter struggled to get control of the balloon as s sudden gust of wind blew us straight towards a large sand dune.  We cleared the sand dune just in time, with nothing but centimeters to spare.  We were all a little shaken up as Peter explained that it was too windy to land safely but that we were running out of gas.

We inched down. The balloon began to shake. We were almost on the ground.  We all crouched down in the basket, holding on tightly.

BOOM!

We hit the desert floor and bounced back up.

BOOM!

We hit the floor again, this time managing to stay down.  The wind dragged us along the ground, throwing sand into the basket and all over us.  The landing gave the sensation of being in an earthquake. Everything shuddered and shook, banged and bounced.

Just when I thought we were safely on the ground, a gust of stubborn wind tipped the basket over. The air balloon lost its balance and tipped over.

We all clambered out just in time to see the beautiful red sun dip below the horizon.

A surreal ending to a surreal day.

Samantha 9F

(Based on a true story)

Matt leaping in preparation for my visit! (photos by Jo)