}

1 May 1989

Priceless moments (University years: 1989 - 1993)


General

  • My 21st birthday party at Willow Road
  • Llandudno boogey boarding, bat & ball
  • Joy while walking
  • Lazerquest
  • Swimming at Constantia Gym
  • Ambassadors and youth club camps
  • Buying my music system - my 21st party
  • Fun with Ivor - great laughs and chats
  • Moving into Willow Road and painting
  • Buying Willow Road and painting it
  • Getting my first car (Gertrude)



University

  • New computer - first assignment
  • Thesis and stats
  • Maths 102



Away

  • Storm's River (water logic)
  • Grahamstown Festival
  • Tsitsikama Trail
  • Camping at Bain's Kloof
  • Camps with Shirly and co (Greyton)
  • Betties Bay, Pringle Bay (with Rusconi's)
  • Ndumu with Tony
  • Mkuzi, Umfolozi with dad



Dancing

  • Robbin Island with Moira
  • Ball room dancing
  • Viennese Ball with Caroline



Ally

  • Meeting Ally
  • Early relationship
  • Palmiet & New Year's eve with feather
  • Skinny dip + locomotion
  • First kiss.
  • Kirstenbosch date
  • Restaurants with Ally (Over Top, On the Rocks, Le Perla, Le Petit Ferme)
  • Weekends with Ally at lodges (Franschhoek, Greyton, Montagu, Elgin lake)
  • Ally 3rd month anniversary
  • Our picnics at Jonkershoek
  • Buy skin products and clothes
  • Surprise Chinese dinner in my room - first time nookie
  • Bath together - Ally shy
  • Allikins, " ffff-first"
  • Ally's cards
  • Dress making for Ally - Viennese Ball
  • I love you - 1st (3 month anniversary at Melkbos + Table View restaurant)
  • Kitch  party
  • Melkbos flat
  • You are so naugty!, "Have I told you lately I love you...", "I'm finding you very attractive right now..."  Nookie
  • Licked for 1st time
  • Yacht club party (kiss on windsurfers, see her in underwear, lose way)
  • Queenspark changing room.


Birds

  • African Finfoot  (Nature's Valley)
  • Black Eagles (Devil's peak)
  • Green Coucal  (Mkuzi)
  • Half collared kingfisher
  • Narina Trogon (Ndumu)
  • Pel's Fishing Owl (Ndumu)


Movies


3 March 1989

Spiritual moments (University years: 1989 - 1993)

  • Joy while walking
  • TM Meditation course
  • The Alexander Technique and the feelings of effortlessness and peace I experienced as a result.
  • Awakenings (movie)  - release
  • Storm's River camping by ocean (water logic)
  • Ally and the feather on New Year's Eve
  • Oliver and laughing about our baldness

2 March 1989

Practicing the Alexander Technique

Background

I was motivated to practice the Alexander Technique due to pain in my back and neck, caused by poor posture and bodily tension.

The Alexander Technique involves being peripherally aware in the midst of every movement of the body to minimise effort and tensing of the body.  It had a profound and lasting effect on me.  

My teacher was a beautiful, calm woman who embodied what she taught.  We practiced at her house in Newlands and often used her lovely garden.  I have vivid memories of performing various actions (walking, sitting, lying, opening a door) and she would instruct in a gentle hands on way.


How The Alexander Technique inspired and influenced me 

  • The Alexander Technique directly influenced my "calmness mantra" which become something I repeated countless times until it osmosed into my being. I still use this mantra on a regular basis. You can read the mantra below.
  • The Alexander Technique inspired my increasing interest in spirituality and meditation - inspiring me to do a TM meditation course and read spiritual books. It also inspired my later interest in Tai Chi.
  • During my Old Mutual years, I practiced a form of self developed meditative motion inspired by The Alexander Technique. It involved a series of effortless movements done in a state of deep awareness, often to music.
  • The Alexander Technique inspired the principle of "spaciousness" that formally emerged around 2013 and is now one of the three cornerstones of my spiritual journey (Presence, Surrender, Spaciousness). Spaciousness is all about remaining open and relaxed in the midst of all experience, including uncomfortable sensations and emotion in the body.
  • The Alexander Technique was my informal introduction to Presence (being in a state of awareness in the midst of activity).


Insights gained by learning and practising The Alexander Technique

  • Where we instinctively tense up, we can learn to let go and loosen.
  • End-goaling and striving is counter-productive. When we relax into our natural state, we become far more effective and happy.
  • If you want to see perfect posture, watch a very young child.
  • The head and neck should be relaxed. Imagine a string with a helium balloon hitched to the back of your head, pulling your head and posture very gently up.
  • The traditional shoulders back, chest out, back straight instruction for posture is counter-productive. The shoulders should be relaxed and the back should be allowed to rest in it's natural curve. 
  • Rush not. Take your time.
  • The power of doing everything in a state of open awareness.


My Calmness Mantra (inspired by The Alexander Technique)

  • Effortless in mind and body, I nurture and inmost calm in all I do.
  • I flow with the journey, letting it unfold with time.
  • I act where I can, then allow all to flow.
  • I am relaxed and centred, letting nothing phase me.
  • Rush not, I take my time. Strive not, I let it happen. Grasp not, I let go. 
  • I live a relaxed stroll, letting nothing phase.
  • Supported below, each movement is a change to release.

1 February 1989

Challenges (University years: 1989 - 1993)



Mood

  • Obsession re attractiveness (losing hair)
  • Feeling low at times (bath, outside house, way to work)

 

University

  • Fail accounting
  • Final exams "fail" marketing
  • Fashion award



Physical

  • Shoulder sore (move into Willow Road)
  • My sore neck (started in Mukuzi, gave up course)
  • Sore back (especially dampening first year's freshers' week)
  • Sore joints (knees)
  • Erection fears early on (Ally)
  • Penis painful



Confidence and envy

  • Steven sleeping with lovely girl - jealous, will I ever?
  • Pretending to spend night out (stay in bathroom)
  • Missed opportunity with Allison



23 January 1989

Favourite movies watched (University Years: 1989 - 1993)

 

  • Schindler's List (1993)
  • Groundhog Day (1993) 
  • The Fugitive (1993)
  • Jurassic Park (1993)
  • Cliffhanger (1993)
  • Indecent Proposal (1993)
  • The Remains of the Day (1993)
  • True Romance (1993)
  • The Bodyguard (1992)
  • Unforgiven (1992)
  • Reservoir Dogs (1992)
  • Scent of a Woman (1992)
  • Basic Instinct (1992)
  • A Few Good Men (1992)
  • The Last of the Mohicans (1992)
  • Strictly Ballroom (1992)
  • The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
  • Point Break (1991)
  • Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
  • Beauty and the Beast (1991)
  • The Commitments (1991)
  • Cape Fear  (1991)
  • Thelma and Louise (1991)
  • The Doors (1991)
  • Dances with Wolves (1990)
  • Die Hard 2 (1990)
  • Pretty Woman (1990)
  • Awakenings  (1990)
  • Total Recall (1990)
  • Edward Scissorhands  (1990)
  • Ghost (1990)
  • Presumed Innocent  (1990)
  • Nikita (1990)
  • Miller's Crossing (1990)
  • Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
  • Dead Poets Society (1989)
  • Back to the Future Part II (1989)
  • Sex, Lies and Videotape (1989)
  • When Harry Met Sally (1989)
  • Dead Calm (1989)










































2 January 1989

University years (1989 - 1993)

"Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself."  John Dewey



Where I studied

I was very lucky to study at the University of Cape Town (UCT).  It is set in one of the most beautiful locations in the world on the green slopes of Devil's Peak with spectacular views of the city. The central hub of the University is the Student Centre and University Hall leading down to the Jameson Steps where we used to laze in the sun between lectures (and sometimes during!) and take in the beautiful views (often of pretty girls walking by).


My first year (Biology and Zoology)

During my first year, I studied Zoology and Botany.  I loved nature and bird watching and I had fantasies of becoming an ornithologist or even a game ranger.  I enjoyed my year, although, as I was prone to do, I worked far too hard.  In retrospect, I would have sacrificed some of the high grades and focused far more on the social life and club activities.  I had one particularly socially active friend, who when he scored 53% in a test (the passmark was 50%) looked disappointed and said he had done 3% too much work. Maybe he had a little bit of a point.

I was very happy that my best friend at school, Tony Verboom, was at UCT too, studying the same course as me. Our friendly rivalry at school to get higher marks than each other carried over into University life - and as usual, he almost always prevailed.  But I didn't really mind - Tony was always humble despite his remarkable brain and he never rubbed it in.

During our Zoology course, we had to dissect all sorts of unfortunate creatures like snails and frogs and horror of horrors, a rat.  I can still smell the formaldehyde on my hands. We had to draw what we dissected and not being much of a drawer, I found it something of a challenge.  A vivid memory I have is of one of the students getting so frustrated by the intricacy required to separate out the sexual organs of his snail that he gave a shout of frustration and smashed his snail with his fist.

During Botany lessons, I remember spending long hours hunched over a microscope drawing the internal bits of various stems and leaves.  I had a bit of a cricky neck anyway, and it certainly didn't help it. I didn't enjoy Botany as much as Zoology but Tony developed a passion for it and he would later become a Botany professor and renowned researcher.

Ironically, one of my favourite courses during my first year was computer programming. I enjoyed the logic of it and will never forget the elation I felt when our professor gave us a particularly challenging assignment to do for extra marks and I managed to complete it and Tony did not.  It was a rare moment to savour!  I was very impressed by computers (although they were positively pre-historic compared to the ones we have today) and it was during this time that my love of technology was born.

Another course I enjoyed was Maths.  We had an extremely fun and dynamic lecturer who really made it come alive and although I didn't regard numbers and equations to be my forte (and I still don't), I really excelled and ended up getting the class medal with 89%.  Something I am still proud of.

Apart from Jameson Steps, another part of the University that I adored was the university library.  It was enormous and smelt of old books and had a labyrinth of different rooms to explore and work in. In those days, the book index was not computerised and there were countless drawers containing many many thousands of index cards.  Amazing to think that was only 20 years ago.

My least favourite subject was Chemistry, particularly the practicals and especially the patience and attention to detail required in doing titrations. This involved sucking up liquid solutions into pipettes and then painstakingly adding the solution to another solution in a beaker tiny drop by drop.  It was agonising, and not especially good for my teeth when one lesson I sucked a little too hard and Hydrochloric Acid flooded into my mouth.  Thankfully I didn't swallow or I would have developed a very bad case of heart burn!

On another occasion, I inhaled highly poisonous mercury fumes during an experiment gone wrong and I had to go to the University Medical Centre to get checked out.  On yet another occasion, I was so wrapped up in a torturous titration that I didn't hear everyone finish up, pack up and leave - and they didn't see me hidden away in the back end of the classroom.  By the time I realised that everyone was gone, I discovered that I was locked in the classroom.

I didn't fancy an overnight stay in the bowels of my most hated subject so I opened a window and performed a daredevil shuffle along a knife edged ledge to another window in an unlocked classroom.  I was on the fifth floor and I have always been terrified of heights so it wasn't a very enjoyable experience.


Changing to Business Studies

At the end of my first year of study, I made a decision that would hugely influence my life - to give up Zoology to study business. To be honest, it was a decision that I don't think I thought about carefully enough.  But at the time, my neck was really sore from all the peering down into a microscope and I was a little scared of second hand reports that most Zoology students end up as school biology teachers on really low salaries. Not to mention the fact I didn't relish the idea of second year chemistry.

In retrospect, I was a very dedicated student and I'm pretty sure I would have ended up in whatever role I had wanted.  When I hear about what some of my old zoology class mates are up to (Ross spends months on exotic islands studing the behaviour of albatrosses and other parts of the year as a bird guide in the Seychelles), I wonder how life would be different if I'd persisted.

I started my business studies by majoring in finance, but after a disastrous accounting test, I decided I wasn't suited to the world of high finance and more suited to the creative world of marketing. I think that was one my better decisions.  Although to be honest, it wasn't made entirely with my career in mind - marketing happened to attract some of the most gorgeous girls in the university and the prospect of sharing a class with them was a very attractive proposition.

Although I didn't have a particular passion for business, I enjoyed studying marketing.  I especially  realised this when one day, Julian came around to my  place so we could study together as we regularly did.  Julian had his thick text book open and was revising Hugh's tangential equation of mechanical prediction.  I had my text book open and was studying about the use of sex in advertising.  I realised then that I quite liked marketing!


Willow Road

I was extremely fortunate that my Grandfather left me some money when he passed away and I was able to use this to buy a house at an early age.  The house was in Fernwood Estate, a particularly lush suburb on the slopes of Table Mountain, close to Kirstenbosch.  The previous owner had been a botany professor at UCT so the garden was a veritable botanist's delight of local species which had been allowed to grow wild.  The first thing we needed to do was a bit of trimming.

Mum and dad were wonderful as always.  They helped me paint the house and buy furniture and deck the place out.  It was all absolutely wonderful - one of the most exciting times of my life - although I don't think the unfortunate neighbours felt the same when they saw a student move into their peaceful and well ordered suburb. Especially when I decided to rent out my 3 other bedrooms to other students and our 4 cars (more when there were guests) lined the road in a street that didn't have a lot of parking.  But I was blissfully ignorant of all that at the time.



Housemates

I loved having house mates and I got to live and share a house with some wonderful people. It was a great social experience and it also helped me learn a lot about people.

 Dain was my first house mate and ended up staying the longest.  She was really tall and lean (like me, somewhat gangly) and totally passionate about sport including running and cycling and hockey.  She was an actuary at Old Mutual and relatively particular about things but I was happy to be tidy.

The second house mate I procured was Steven, a very jovial chap who ran his own plumbing business.  He used to arrive home after a busy, sweaty and poop infested day and have hot bath.  Being a man, he didn't think to scrub the bath afterwards and Dain (who shared his bathroom) deeply disapproved of the stain marks this left.  But she didn't like conflict so bit her tongue harder every day.  Until one day she exploded into a furious fireball and singed poor oblivious Steven's eyebrows right off.  I can still hear the yelling.  This taught me an important lesson - better to voice your discontent early and politely than let it boil over later.

Oliver was one of my dearest house mates as he helped me cope with the terrible ignomy of a receding hairline in my early 20's and the extremely likely prospect of being "domed" like my dad quite early in life.  Oliver was far, far balder than me and one day he described in vivid detail how he used to sit in the back of the car when his family went on outings and glare at the back of his dad's bald head  with  such focused vehemence that he was surprised his poor dad's naked scalp didn't smoulder.  We laughed so much that it suddenly felt like it didn't matter any more (well not too much, anyway).

Ben, another house mate,  was a tall unshaven man who looked just like Jesus in the old epic movies and he pulled gorgeous girls at a speed that would have made Casanova blush.

Steve was a hot shot paramedic who wore dark glasses like Tom Cruise in Top Gun and fancied himself as the fastest and most skilled driver in South Africa until he rolled his car on the hill just outside our house.  In his defence, he was in a rush to help a poor stranded motorcar accident victim.  Like policemen always look after their own, all the paramedics on route to the original accident scene did rapid U-turns to help Steve.  He was not physically wounded except for some bruising - but his swagger was a little less pronounced for a week or two after.

Ah, and then their was Andre!  He was really, really old (at least 35!!) and he had recently been ditched by his wife for another man.  He was determined to make sure he did the dumping from then on.  Like Ben, he had a wide range of girlfriends, but they only lasted on the scene for a week at a time, and then Andre would move on.  On one occasion, he juggled three (oblivious) girl friends at the same time.

One day, Oliver (who was a serial prankster) and I decided to pull a prank on Andre.  Oliver said he had a very juicy pornographic video that Andre should see to believe. Andre, needless to say, was very curious.  Oliver put the video on and started it and then handed the remote to Andre but warned him not to fast forward as then he might miss the important scene.  Oliver excused himself to go to the bathroom and I was in the kitchen, pretending to make coffee.

Right on time, as meticulously arranged, Oliver's pretty sister and female friend let themselves into the front door with a key we had given them and they came barging into the lounge.  Andre reacted quickly, pressing stop on the remote, but of course we had removed the batteries.  Andre then launched himself over the coffee table in a desperate attempt to switch the TV off, and that is how the girls found him, on his tummy, pressing buttons, while above him on the TV, all sorts of devious sexual antics were taking place.

On another occasion, I woke up to high pitched female screaming.  Convinced someone was being attacked out in the street, I ran as fast as I could, forgetting to put on clothes, down the corridor and out the door.  That's when I realised that the screaming was coming from Andre's outside room and they weren't screams of terror.  To the contrary!  The screams continued in an ebb and a flow late into the night and early morning but I was too embarrassed to interrupt.  Finally I fell asleep.

The next morning, Andre walked into the kitchen alone with a big smile on his face.  "My god, Graeme, I've found the girl for you!  I met her at the bar last night and we had some good fun.  I'm dumping her today but I'll put in a good word and you'll stand a very good chance."
"No thanks," I found myself saying.  "First of all, I don't want to catch anything.  Second, I like to get to know a girl before I shag her.  And thirdly, what if she doesn't scream for me!"


Free time between studies and on holidays

Some of my more vivid memories are as follows:
  • Meeting my best friend to be, Russell, on Jameson steps.  He kind of liked Ally (who wouldn't?) and gave her a rose, but once I made it subtly clear she was out of bounds, we got on like a house on fire, fuelled by the fact we like the same silly jokes.  We've been friends ever since.
  • Doing the Tsitsikama with my good friend, Rory - I met Rory in Maths class and we connected immediately.  He is a funny, zany guy and loves hiking as much as I did.  Later, Rory would work with me at Old Mutual.  He also became a house mate.
  • Holidays to Betties Bay and Pringle Bay with the Rusconis
  • Youth Club (Ambassadors) meetings and camps where I met and got to know special people like Ivor, Nicola and Shirley who remain good friends. 
  • Taking up ballroom dancing and learning the waltz, foxtrot, quick-step, cha cha and Rumba.  I did it initially to meet girls at close quarters, armed with aftershave and deodorant - but I soon loved the dancing in its own right.
  • Attending the Viennese Waltz in the UCT Hall with Caroline - oh, how I lusted after her but I was too scared to make a move
  • Meeting Moira through dancing and having several fun dates including dancing at Robben Island
  • Trips with Julian to the Grahamstown Festival followed by camping at Storm's River and Natures Valley - great memories
  • Wonderful times with Ivor including games of Lazerquest where we learned to get to the top of the ranking by targeting the weak!
  • Camps with Shirly and friends in Greyton
  • My 21st birthday party at Willow Road dancing to the new music system that I bought and was very proud of
  • Mum helping me type up my assignments - I would dictate and she would type and help correct grammar as we'd go
  • Getting my first computer and trying to make the mouse work by holding it upside down and moving the ball with my fingers.  And how I loved Windows 2!
  • Reading Anthony Robbins (Giant Steps) and Edward de Bono's lateral thinking books
  • Wonderful trips with dad to Zululand and Knysna


Meeting Ally

I met Ally in the little town of Kleinmond on New Years eve 1992.  A sea gull's feather bought us together and we had a really wonderful romance which became committed and serious very quickly.  Ally had been studying Industrial Psychology remotely through Unissa but fortuitously she was accepted into UCT for February 1993 so we spent my last year at UCT studying in the same place.  Here is more about our early relationship.  Very special memories indeed.



Graduation

I graduated at the end of 1993 with my degree in Marketing.  The day of my graduation was extremely warm and we all sweltered in the hall, me especially in my black robes.  Still, it was a great moment.  Here are some pictures of me looking proud as punch with mum and dad.




After graduation

After my graduation, I applied to various companies.  I ended up with three job offers, one in Johannesburg which was never an option.  I chose to work for a financial services company called Old Mutual.  And so my working life began.


Related links

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1 January 1989

Old Mutual years (1994 - 2000)

“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” Jerome K. Jerome




Getting my first job

When I graduated in 1993 armed with my degree in Marketing, I went to work for Old Mutual.  I felt very "grown up."  Old Mutual is South Africa's largest financial services company and although it is not exactly the most dynamic company in the world (Old Mutual and dinosaur have occasionally been used in the same sentence), I saw it as reliable and "solid" which was important to me in those days.

One of the reasons I got the job at Old Mutual is that I did my my final year university thesis for them to find out why young adults choose one mutual fund over another.

As part of the thesis, I sent out 10,000 questionnaires to Old Mutual clients.  I wrote a pleading, beseeching covering letter saying that I was a poor student desperate to pass my thesis and  I would likely fail if they didn't respond.  My contacts at Old Mutual "poo pooed" the letter and said people weren't that gullible or likely to be influenced by such a "begging tone."  We sent it out anyway and there were over 4000 responses!!  We had to hire someone full time for 5 days just to enter in the data.  Just goes to show, begging does sometimes work as long as you don't make a habit of it.


Being a "trainee"

I spent my first two years with Old Mutual on a special "management development" training program.  Sounds very fancy doesn't it?  I was certainly impressed at the time.  There were three of us on this program (Pippa, Bulelwa and I) and it involved two years of working for each and every department within the marketing division - including a stint out in the branches selling insurance!

Although the pay was really lousy (so much so, that Bulelwa left after only 3 months), it was a great opportunity.  It brought us into close contact with the senior management team as we had to do regular presentations to them.

The presentations we did that I remember most vividly were "How can we sell more life insurance to farmers?" ( truly riveting it was!) and "How can we make better use of technology in Marketing."  The latter presentation touched briefly on the Internet (relatively visionary being early 1994)  but unfortunately we didn't predict it meteoric rise - or maybe they would have given us a pay rise.

Being a management trainee meant we had to do the Financial Services "ILPA" exams and there was a high expectation on us to pass first go (as we were regularly reminded by the previous year's trainees who had all managed to do so), so there was quite a bit of pressure and the need for lots of late night studying after work.


Final project

For the last three months of the course, Pippa and I were allowed to work on a "sizeable project of our choice."   We chose the topic: "How can we improve the retention of our newly employed sales representatives?" - chosen because at the time, 80% of new reps left the industry within 2 years.

The project involved travelling to Old Mutual branches all over South Africa and doing interviews with branch managers and new reps.  It was a fun project and I really enjoyed collecting all the information and putting the report together at the end of it.

I am proud to say the report was very well received by the management team and Pippa and I were mini "rock Gods" for a (short) while.  But I'm sorry to say our report didn't cause immediate action that led to a massive spike in the retention of new sales reps.  But we did argue strongly for more salaried (not commissioned) sales reps and that did happen a few years later - maybe in an infinitesimally small degree due to us.  Who knows?  

After our two year course, I became a proper "Marketing Consultant" and I worked on various projects but nothing that really stands out.  Well maybe one thing; "a survival pack" for new sales reps with lots of motivational "pep up" quotes and a step by step guide on targeting your market  and then "penetrating" it.  God it sounds pretty cheesy now, but I was proud of it at the time.


Free time in Cape Town

I worked long hours but there was plenty of fun in-between.  Highlights of life outside work included:
  • Braais on the balcony at Willow Road
  • At one time or another having Shirley, Russell, Colleen and Rory to stay with us
  • Sleeping out on the balcony under the stars on warm nights
  • Camping with friends out at Palmiet River where Ally and I originally met - including Eleda (100 kg's of pure fun) and Peter
  • Camping at Baines Kloof with Russell and Roger.  On one night, we arrived back at the camp site late after swimming to find the gates closed.  We managed to adventurously climb over the gate with all our bags in tow only to then discover that the gate was not in fact locked
  • On one occasion, playing Burt Bacharach's "What the World Needs Now is Love Sweet Love" loudly from the car and then dancing out in the street to the music with Roger and Russell  (Infantile I know, but God, we had fun)
  • Playing volleyball on Clifton Beach on Friday evenings, then watching the sun set
  • Fencing with Russell with bamboo canes and knocking the hell out of each other
  • Watching South Africa win the 1994 world cup with friends in our lounge at Willow Road and feeling pure ecstasy
  • Watching South Africa losing to the Australians in the world cup cricket semi final on the final ball (run Donald, run!) - and feeling pure despair
  • Walking in the forest above our house and enjoying the view down onto the city
  • Playing furniture Olympics with Russell - for example doing long jumps over the coach (again, infantile I know, but great fun and pretty dangerous.  Maybe this was the precursor to our now famous Myburghian leaps.)
  • Doing The Otter Trail with Rory for the first time - unforgettable scenery and lots of laughs
  • Taking Meg, who I inherited after dad died, for walks
  • Reading two books that had a big influence on me: Stephen Covey's "7 Secrets of Highly Effective People" and Deepak Chopra's "7 Spiritual Laws of Success"  What is it about the number 7?

Family Events

During this time, there were two big family events - one happy, one very sad.  In 1995, Dad passed away very suddenly and tragically.  The following year, my sister Jo, married Anthony -  a wonderful guy with a great sense of humour who we all loved.  I was lucky enough to do the speech at their wedding.

Ally moves to London

In 1996, Ally decided she wanted to work and live overseas for a while so she moved to London while I stayed at Old Mutual in South Africa.  I was a bit of a "fuddy duddy" and didn't like the idea of uprooting and moving to a strange place.  Ah, how that would change with time - once I'd got a taste for it!!

Before Ally left, we spent an idyllic week at Paradise Island in Mozambique at a ruined hotel that used to he opulent before the civil war.  We lazed on the beach and drank coconut milk and read by candle light in our room - only to discover on the last day that the room actually had an electrical light.  Still, candles were more romantic.

Ally and I managed to keep a long distance relationship going.  We did see each other for a month in October 1996 when I joined her in the UK for a holiday.  We had a wonderful time exploring the Lake District and Scotland  for 10 days or so.  The we went on an organised tour of Italy for two weeks.  We passed through Switzerland on the way and had our first experience of snow.


1997 - A year of travels

In early 1997, I decided that the world of Old Mutual was overrated and it was time for me to see the world!  But ever the cautious one in those years, I didn't resign - I organised a year of unpaid leave.

I flew to London in April to be re-united with Ally and then I focused on ticking off all the London sights.  I was very much a "driven" tourist at first - the more laid back but adventurous "traveller" would emerge later.

Ally was working at Ernst and Young and she was happy there and not keen to resign, so I did a solo trip of South East England, Whales and Scotland.  Then together, we spent an idyllic two weeks driving around Ireland.

Ally went back to work and I, still rather timid, decided to set my sights on Holland!  Why Holland?  I'm really not sure, maybe because I had heard raucous stories of Amsterdam.  Amsterdam was a bit disappointing except for my experience of the Van Gogh museum while "high" on a marijuana cookie.  But the highlight of my trip by far was watching a Michael Jackson concert - I feel very privileged to have seen him live.

Emboldened by my solo tour of Holland, I set my sights on Israel and Jordan and Egypt.  Needless to say, I found these countries to be more chaotic, hotter, less predicable and a whole lot cheaper than Europe - and I absolutely loved every minute of it.  My love of more adventurous travel had been born.  The highlight of the trip was undoubtedly Petra - I had no prior knowledge of it or any expectations  - and the huge, soaring temples carved into the rock face and the gorgeous red canyons totally blew my mind.

From Egypt, I flew to Greece because I had heard it was beautiful - and this time it was Meteora that really captured my imagination - monasteries perched on the top of "mountainessly" high boulders.  Another highlight was my 3 day climb up Mount Olympus with Russell and Kate, two wonderful people I met at the legendary Pink Palace on the Island of Corfu.

From Greece, I headed over to to the western parts of Turkey and then Ally joined me in Istanbul and we did the rest of our travels together - a chaotic and exhilarating four weeks in India,  followed by a far more relaxed and laid back six weeks in Thailand.


A taste of London working life

After Thailand, we were due to travel around Indonesia but civil unrest broke out just before we flew there.  Added to this, we were a bit jaded after all our travels, so we decided to head back to London in order for me to experience working life there for a a few months.

I ended up getting a job working for the Ministry of Agriculture based close to Whitehall - putting together brochures which included marketing British beef to the French.  Given that there was a massive outbreak of foot and mouth disease, this was something of a challenge!


Settling back into Cape Town life

In April 1988, Ally and I returned to Cape Town and I went back to Old Mutual and sat behind the same desk with the same manager doing the same things - and I felt very deflated.  I felt I had experienced and learned so much during my travels (I almost felt like a new person) and here I was stuck where I started.  I clearly needed a work change.

I had always had a love for technology and the Internet was becoming a key business tool, so I wrangled a position in the e-commerce department. I was responsible for helping business areas to use the Internet to market their products.  And what did I know?  In fact what did anyone know?  It was still a relatively new medium and a lot of it was trial and error at first.  But it was great fun and I felt stimulated and challenged.

The highlights of my work life during the next year and a bit was creating a dedicated web site for Old Mutuals sales force which provided a one stop shop for all the resources they needed to market and sell financial products. It involved persuading business areas to do away with their hotchpotch of different sites with different designs and passwords and to create one seamless site.  Needless to say, there was a lot of corporate politics involved because many of the business areas were very attached to their sites.  There was also a lot of technical challenges to overcome.  It wasn't easy but I learned a tremendous amount.


Life outside work

Here are some of the highlights:
  • Doing up Willow Road - we knocked an archway from the kitchen to the dining room and bought new furniture and gorgeous curtains.  
  • I went on the amazing 5 day Fish River hike where I got to meet the legendary James Wynne
  • We adopted Feta, our cute cat
  • We joined the "Hardcore Hiking Club" and spent some wonderful hiking weekends away with plenty of laughter
  • Ten pin bowling and table soccer with Russell
  • Paddle skiing with Dorian and his brother
  • Some fun days at Rotanga Junction where we did some silly antics
  • Playing tennis at work with my Dutch friend
  • More volleyball on Clifton after work and watching the sunset
  • Playing tennis with Mike and Russell at the UCT courts
  • Playing paintball and breaking the record for number of shots fired in a game
  • An amazing summer spent with Colleen, Mike and Russel, including the unforgettable day that the sea at Clifton Beach turned warm (usually icy) and we swam out to the yachts
  • A hike to Hoar Hut
  • Some special family Xmases in 1998 and 1999
  • Doing the Otter Trail with Mike and Colleen and going nude
  • An amazing time spent at Buckaneer's Backpackers in Cintsa
  • More Willow Road memories

Deciding to move to London


After a year and a half back in Cape Town, Ally and I developed itchy feet with our 1997 travels fresh in our minds.  We had really enjoyed our couple of months living and working in London in early 1998, so we decided to try it out for a longer period.  The Internet industry was in a massive boom by early 2000 and there were jobs galore in Europe.  And so our London Years began.  But first there was a wedding.


Proposal and Wedding

To celebrate the start of the new century (year 2000), Ally and I went to a party in Swellendam in Cape Town.  On the count of midnight, I proposed.  We had been together for exactly 7 years - what better way to scratch a 7 year itch!

We got married 6 weeks later on 20th February so there was not a long time to organise the wedding. We were married in the garden of a lovely old hotel in Constantia.  One of the memorable moments was when I fluffed my lines and asked Ally to be my "wedded husband."   Needless to say, much laughter ensued.  We had a short honeymoon in the beautiful winelands of Franschhoek.  It was a very special time.
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