Jordan (27 July-4 August 1997)

Petra, Amman

Post cards, letters and photos from my week of solo backpacking in Jordan.

Places visited

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From Post Cards


Jordan

• Petra in Jordan is without doubt one of the highlights of my trip so far. Huge temples and tombs carved out of the sheer cliff face – a massive ancient city that was forgotten and lost for 700 years till its discovery in the 1800’s. It was used as the setting for Indiana Jones (the movie).
• Another scene from Petra. Amazing to think it was carved 1500 years ago. The desert landscape with deep canyons everywhere is as impressive as the monuments themselves. I have spent two unforgettable days hiking the area – one could spend months here and not get bored.

The Siq, Petra

• Yet another photo that shows the awesome scenery of Petra – deep canyons that one can explore forever and a day. Steep climbs up the side of the canyon made for unbelievable views over the entire city and beyond.

Amman Roman Theatre

• I spend three days in Amman, the capital of Jordan – a medium, hustling Arab city with lots to see and eat and experience. The people here are unbelievably friendly. Often they even insist on paying our bus fare and offering us free food. Smiles and “welcome to Jordan” wherever we go. So cheap too – a three course meal costs R10!

Jerash Triumphal Arch

• Jerash is the mediumst ancient Roman ruins of a provincial city in the world and was very impressive indeed. There is an international arts festival here at the moment – another case of excellent (lucky!) timing. The huge ancient theatre was a highlight – the acoustics are brilliant even after all these years. I got to try out my “Friends, Romans and Countrymen” speech I learned back at school.

The Oval Plazza – Jerash

• Another view of Jerash. The Jordanians are busy restoring the city to its former glory. I cannot believe how prolific the Romans were – no matter where they travel in the world, there seems to be Roman ruins. I must say my Latin comes in very handy for translating all the inscriptions.

St George Church at Madaba

• We went to Madaba especially to see the mosaic on the floor of St George’s Church. It is a huge map of Palestine, laid down in the 6th Century – nearly 1500 years ago. The part of the map shown here is Jerusalem. The amazing thing is that some of the buildings in the map still exist. I should know, I visited them. E.g. Church of the Holy Sepulchre.

Qusair Amra, Jordan

• From Amman we travelled into the desert to explore a serious of castles out in the middle of nowhere. Public transport was non existent so we hitched. Anywhere else we may have struggled – but not in Jordan. We got a lift in a huge truck with an ultra friendly chap who wanted to hear our life stories even though he could hardly speak a word of English.

Karak

• The highlight of Karak was this enormous Crusader Castle. The views of the desert from the top were great and there was an exciting network of underground chambers and tunnels to explore. At one time, the Crusaders used to throw their hapless captives off the walls of the castle to their deaths – 450 metres below.

Excerpt from a letter home

Then, after some raucous parties in Tiberias (the hostel was very festive!) it was back to Jerusalem for some spiritual renewal. Here I met a friendly Australian guy – Mark. We really clicked and decided to travel through Jordan together. So down to Eliat in Southern Israel, a real touristy hell hole of a place with temperatures over 40ºC and enormous cockroaches in our hostel room. From there we crossed the border into Jordan to Aquaba, and Arab seaside resort where local women are definitely not allowed to wear bikinis. The first thing that strikes everyone about Jordan is how genuinely friendly the people are. Smiles and “welcome” wherever you go. On occasion, locals in the buses insisted on paying our fares for us and taxi drivers bought us drinks. Petra was probably the highlight of my whole trip so far – it has to be seen to be believed. Wherever you look – massive, towering temples and tombs carved out of the cliffs. The postcards I sent will give you a feel – but definitely don’t do it justice.

From Petra we headed north to Amman, the capital of Jordan which we used as a springboard to see all the outlying sights including Jerash (huge Roman ruins), Karak (crusader castle) and we also went for another dip in the Dead Sea, from the east side. This time, all the women were swimming in their black robes. Jordan is a very religious country – devout Muslims everywhere. It is very male dominated and women have to dress conservatively. Western women don’t always have an easy time here.  Unfortunately, because of TV and movies that Jordanians watch, men think that western women are all “free and easy” – easy to seduce and consequently female tourists get hassled a lot, especially if they are alone or wearing revealing clothes. The big advantage is that female tourists travelling alone (or in groups) are always on the look out for tourist males to travel with them – as protection. We, of course, were only too happy to oblige! We travelled for half a week with two gorgeous Dutch girls, and then met up with a fun group of really pretty Italians. You’re never lonely in the Middle East because the culture is so “alien”, tourists tend to be very open and friendly to each other – we constantly bumped into people we had met in other towns and then would travel together for a few days before going our separate ways.

After Jordan we made our way into Egypt.



Travel Notes


Petra

• So friendly at customs! Free on South African passport. Catch taxi to Petra (no buses). To friendly hostel - R 14 a night to sleep on roof and R 21 for all you can eat. Musa Spring Hostel. We watch Indianana Jones and the Last Crusade. Phone Ally to arrange her flight to Turkey to join me.

• Tues 28, we visit Petra. Awesome temples and tombs sculptured out of cliff faces. Treasury. Roman amphitheatre. The Monastery - ventured right up on top of it. 45 m high. Gorgeous canyons and views. Petra was built by Nabateans. Lost for 700 years till discovered again in 1812. So many monumental feats - all inspired by spiritual.

• Wed 29, back to Petra. Walk to animal sacrificial altar at peak of mountain. Nice lazy day.

Amman

• Thurs 30 bus to Amman. Arab music galore. Great food at local restaurant, real cheap. To Jerash - a massive ancient Roman town. Spectacular theatre with accoustic center in floor that magnifies sound. Temples, complete arches, glorious central point with column. Very impressive - only 10% excavated. Bugger - we lose my travel book. Mark and I having many deep chats about everything. Getting to know each other pretty well.

• Fri 1/8, a day of visiting desert castles. Go with two very attractive Dutch girls. Decide to go by bus, not tour. Whole day costs us 2.5 dinar instead of ten. Bus to Azraq Castle - dry stone with roof strong enough to walk on. Three ton door of swinging rock. Then taxi to Quasr Amra, with early Islam mosaics of naked women - very rare. Hitch to Quasr Kharaneh, a medium castle / inn with dark rooms and fantastic views of desert from top.  Hitchhiking with Dutch girls - quick pickup. Without, would be very slow!

• Sat 2, visit Madaba to see 6th century map of Palestine on floor of Church of St George. All way back to Amman to go to Karak - massive Crusader Castle with spectacular views and warren of underground chambers and tunnels. 7 stories. Meet hotel manager who loves students - tells us secret of his menu. We pay local price. We have been joined by Stefan, a lovely German chap.

• Sun 3, we go where Angels fear to tread - just for a swim in the Dead Sea. Realise importance (and money saving potential of a good travel book. Lonely Planet much better than Lets Go - more concise and practical. Bus to withn 5 km of sea, then hitch to eventual beach - but must catch slow bus back to Amman where we are forced to spend the night. Our packs still in Karak!

• Impressions: Now that cheap prices, we suddenly hugely price concsious. Will do anything to save a dinar (1 £ English!) Roof everynight with great stars - 2 E£. Food of roast chicken, bread, olives and chiles is 1.5 E£. Bargain for all. Hurt looks, outraged, then all smiles when finalised. Tea. If not bargain, hurt. Chap accepts first offer, oh alright, less. Pity him.

• Women in black coverings with just eyes showing (erotic says Stefan!) - some even covered on beach. Bus routes that make no sense - every journey must start from Amman. Arab markets bustling with goat carcasses hanging everywhere - head included. Friendly people - policeman pays for our bus + gives us his phone number if any problems. Taxi buys us free drinks.

• People take us to 20 minute destinations in person. Apparently, Syria even friendlier - 5 free drinks an hour. In buses, we "converse" for hours with folk who can't speak word of English. Arab music really grows on you - definitely an acquired taste. Buses leave when full - never a problem to find the right bus (friendly people point way), challenge is finding correct station.

• Mon 4, an epic day of travel. From Amman to Karak to get our bags. We manage to catch "service" to Aquaba - cramped in the stuffy back with scratchy speakers. Then a beaurocratic wait for passport stamp and a three hour ferry (beautiful scenery) to Sinai.

Next stop

• Egypt

Israel (16 – 27 July)

Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, Masada, Dead Sea, Galilee, Golan Heights, Eilat

Photos, letters and notes from my 11 days solo backpacking in Israel

Places visited

Photos

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Excerpt from a letter

The Middle East has been a real experience – so different from travelling in Europe. The first thing that strikes you is the climate – it’s very hot. In Eilat and Aquaba we experienced temperatures well into 40ºC. There are advantages – one is able to travel really light with just a pair of shorts and a few T shirts (drying washed clothes is an instantaneous affair) – and accommodation is always cheap because all you need is a mattress on the roof (I’ve become addicted to sleeping under the stars).

As you probably know from my postcards, I began my trip by flying into Tel Aviv. After a very short stay (too hot and too modern), I went on to Jerusalem and instantly fell in love with it. Jerusalem is a city that has to be experienced rather than “done”. It is a holy city to Jews, Christians and Muslims, full of extraordinary religious sites and interesting people. The old city is split into four very distinctive segments – Armenian, Christian, Muslim and Jewish – and, of course, the sights and flavours of each are different. It’s amazing how all the religions co-exist in such a concentrated spot. From the roof of my hostel I had a great view of the Christian “Holy Sepulchre”, the site where Jesus is thought to have been crucified. This is probably regarded as the “holiest” site in the Christian religion. No more than 200 metres away I could also see the ‘Dome of the Rock”, an unbelievably beautiful mosque and the third most holy site in the world of the Muslim. Only a hair breath away from here is the “Western Wall”, revered by Jews as their most holy site in the world. NO wonder there are sometimes tensions in Jerusalem. When I was there, everything seemed to be so calm and serene. It was quite a shock when I hears that there had been a bomb blast killing 14 people – particularly considering it went off only a couple of days after I had left Israel. Some of the highlights of my Jerusalem trip included walking along the Via Dolorosa, the road long which Jesus was through to have carried his cross. There are 14 special stations (chapels) along the way commemorating particular events on the journey. I also went to the Western Wall on Shabbat and watched hundreds of Jewish worshippers take part in the sacred tradition – very special. I also climbed up the Olive Mount (famous as the place where Jesus rode into Jerusalem on his donkey on Palm Sunday and ascended into heaven on Ascension Day. The views of the city from here were spectacular.

Another interesting excursion was to wade through a watery tunnel deep under the city – really eerie especially considering that it was Jerusalem’s ancient water supply. Needless to say, my shoes were sopping wet – the first thing I did was to visit a mosque so I could take them off and leet them dry. You get quite confused sometimes; when you visit Christian churches you are often only allowed in with trousers on (no baring your hairy legs!). When visiting Jewish holy places, you’ve got to cover your head and sometimes trousers are required. Visit a mosque and your shoes must come off. All the dressing and undressing! Problem was the only trousers I had were jeans – too hot to wear in the climate, so I had to carry them in my bag for when the need arose.

From Jerusalem I explored the Dead Sea in the Negev Desert – a weird experience to say the least. I’m glad I didn’t shave on the morning of my swim as others did – they were in agony from the salt. The mud on the bottom of the sea is supposed to be very good for your skin so we took delight in covering ourselves from head to foot in the stuff – deliciously slimy stuff that took ages to wash off.

Part of the Dead Sea experience included climbing Masada at 3am in the morning to watch the sunrise and a visit to the beautiful oasis of Ein Gedi. From there to Tiberias on the Sea of Galilee, which I used as a springboard to explore the Golan Heights (north tip of Israel). Compared to the rest of Israel, this area is lush with beautiful rivers and lakes and date trees everywhere. The highlight was swimming in the icy waters of the Bunyan Waterfall.

Then, after some raucous parties in Tiberias (the hostel was very festive!) it was back to Jerusalem for some spiritual renewal. Here I met a friendly Australian guy – Mark. We really clicked and decided to travel through Jordan together. So down to Eliat in Southern Israel, a real touristy hell hole of a place with temperatures over 40ºC and enormous cockroaches in our hostel room. From there we crossed the border into Jordan to Aquaba, and Arab seaside resort where local women are definitely not allowed to wear bikinis. The first thing that strikes everyone about Jordan is how genuinely friendly the people are. Smiles and “welcome” wherever you go. On occasion, locals in the buses insisted on paying our fares for us and taxi drivers bought us drinks. Petra was probably the highlight of my whole trip so far – it has to be seen to be believed. Wherever you look – massive, towering temples and tombs carved out of the cliffs. The postcards I sent will give you a feel – but definitely don’t do it justice.

From Petra we headed north to Amman, the capital of Jordan which we used as a springboard to see all the outlying sights including Jerash (huge Roman ruins), Karak (crusader castle) and we also went for another dip in the Dead Sea, from the east side. This time, all the women were swimming in their black robes. Jordan is a very religious country – devout Muslims everywhere. It is very male dominated and women have to dress conservatively. Western women don’t always have an easy time here – or anywhere for that matter. Unfortunately, because of TV and movies that Jordanians watch, men think that western women are all “free and easy” – easy to seduce and consequently female tourists get hassled a lot, especially if they are alone or wearing revealing clothes. The big advantage is that female tourists travelling alone (or in groups) are always on the look out for tourist males to travel with them – as protection. We, of course, were only too happy to oblige! We travelled for half a week with two gorgeous Dutch girls, and then met up with a fun group of really pretty Italians. You’re never lonely in the Middle East because the culture is so “alien”, tourists tend to be very open and friendly to each other – we constantly bumped into people we had met in other towns and then would travel together for a few days before going our separate ways.

After Jordan we made our way into Egypt. To do so we had to use a ferry across the Red Sea. What an experience it was. Two hours late and crammed so tight with locals there was hardly a place to sit on the open deck –not to mention the problem of the beating sun on the three hour crossing. Drank lots of water. After another two hours in Egyptian customs (you would not believe how inefficient and slow the Egyptian “wheels” turn), we were free to begin our hedonistic lifestyle on the Red Sea.

Travel Notes

Tel Aviv

• Fly to Tel Aviv via Athens. Hot! Meet friendly Australian (Mark). Stay at Gordon Inn.
  Lie and swim at beach. Walk to Jaffa. Write post cards.

Jerusalem & surrounds

• Sat 18 July: Catch "sheroot" to Jerusalem. Walk round Old City. Armenian Quarter. Mount Zion, including David's Tomb. Visit Olive Mount for panoramic views and holy churches & tombs. Walk along Via Dolorasa - road of sorrow along which Jesus carried the cross. Saw some of 14 stations. Experienced Falafel and Shawarma.
• Impressions: Spirituality hangs in the air like a blanket. Jerusalem. 5000 years old, steeped in history. Mosques, Synagogues and churches within a hair breath. 18 conquerors + destroyed 7 times. Orthodox Jews in black with side locks bobbing at the Wall. Have to put on jeans for holiest sites - hot!. Put on my cap for Jewish holies, take off for Christian, shoes off for Muslim. Pilgrims carry cross along Via Dolorasa. Religious, kitch relics everywhere including hologram of Jesus on cross with blinking eyes. Night views of city from hostel roof. Israeli baby soldiers with guns. Arab markets along roofed, narrow streets.
• Sun 19 July: Go on mini bus tour (3 am get up) to Masada for moonset and sunrise, swim in Dead Sea, walk to waterfalls at Ein Gedi. To Mount of Temptation. Jericho. Qumran where Dead Sea scrolls found. Mountain clinging monasteries. Meet nice British guy (engineer).
• In Jerusalem, visit the , site of Jesus tomb and crucifixion. Church dilapidated because no denomination can take responsibility. I write a letter asking for God to show Himself. Sit on hostel roof, overlooking city by night. Call to prayer.
  Mon 20 July: Visit St Anne's Church (beautiful Crusader church with great accoustics) and Pool of Bethesda. Then to City of David and Kidron Valley. See Warren's Shaft. A wet walk through Hezekiah's Tunnel with little Arab chaps. Absalom's pillar. Then to Temple Mount to see Dome of the Rock and Al Aqsa Mosque. To Western Wall (and Wilson's Arch) where I leave message. Bobbing orthodox while pray. Black robes and hats.
• Tues 21 July: Meet Mark again (Australian I met on first night). For breakfast at Michael's Cafe, then to David's Tower museum for history of Jerusalem.

Galilee and Golan Heights

• Bus to Tiberius where can't get beyond hotels to swim. Stay at Aviv hostel.
• Wed 22 July: Tour to Golan Heights. Befriend Jessica (Canadian) and Miss Margaret (Byzantine historian). Experiences include Church of the Multiplication of the Loaves and Fishes (6th century mosaics on 4th century foundations), Mount of Beatitudes (sermon on the mount), wine and liquor tasting (pear, lichi etc), Banias Waterfall, Nimrods's Fortress, museum about Gamla and its destruction by Romans, The Good Fence. Beware of mines signs. Drink pear wine and Thai food with J&B.
• Thurs 23 July: Lazy day swimming in Sea of Galilee. In evening, go out with Jessica and co.

Jerusalem Revisited

• Fri 24 July: Bus to Beit She'an for amazing Roman and Byzantine excavations - especially amphitheatre. To Jerusalem to Western Wall for evening of Shabat. Lots of bobbing and singing. American Jewish visitors especially charismatic.
• Impression: Judaism, Christianity and Islam all so linked - same characters, area, "one god" - just different emphasis on which prophets (Jesus, ancient Jewish, Mohammed) to focus on. Huge importance of symbols, rituals, heritage (incl Holy sites) in religion.
• Dead Sea scrolls shows how people write blue prints for religion - specifications of battle for final war against enemy. Gospels written hundreds of years after Jesus - vocal legends that amplify? Same with illiterate Muhammed. Definite lessons for my Spirituality which is doing well - whenever feel at peace, I pray to Great Mystery and focus on "Blue Blade." 
• Huge cemetery on Mount of Olives - when messiah returns, will be first to rise from dead.
• Sat 25 July: Meet Mark. To Schindler's grave (rocks) and Soloman's Quarry under Old City. Then to Museum of Israel for archeological finds and Dead Sea Scrolls. Stay in beautiful Lutherine Hostel - a veritable oasis.
• Sun 26 July: False 4 o'clock get up! Get to watch Jerusalem lighten from the roof.

Eilat

• Eventually get bus to Eilat. 40 degrees with hot gusts. Stay in shit hole with cockroaches (Eucalyptus). Swim in Red Sea - perfect temperature. Very touristy town.
• Mon 27 July: Laze some more on beach while wait for Mark's visa. Postcard trauma - not put enough stamp on. Dave Hudson off to post office to pay! Phone Mum. Then cross border to Jordon.
• Israel has been fantastic. I have experienced a surge in my spirituality. Tension between two travel instincts - find spiritual oases and experience at length with my heart verse rushing around seeing sights.
• A couple of days after leaving Israel, there is a bomb blast in Jerusalem in Jaffa Street market. Two Arab suicide bombers kill 14 and injure over 100. I bought a chocolate pastry right there. So sad, fundamentalist extremists causing mountains of pain. I get a taste of Jerusalems violent past.

Next stop

• Jordan

A Vision of Power and Glory (John Kehoe)

Chapter 1. The Beginning
The spiritual path is not about religions or dogma. It is not about finding the one true way. It is simply the wonder of our own beauty being revealed to ourselves. Of discovering inner sources of power and guidance, and following the path our hearts show us. It is about opening ourselves up to the amazing possibilities that life affords us. For there is more here than we can possibly imagine and all will be greatly rewarded who venture within.

Chapter 2. The Vision
Ours is a great, holy, wondrous and noble race. All power is given to us. This truth is encoded deep within us for each of us to discover. We are kings and queens with cosmic, royal bloodlines. We have been born with great destinies to fulfil. Our kingdom stretches as far as mortal eyes can see. It contains mountains and oceans and great forests and the stars and the sun and moon. It contains inner worlds where mystics and shamans have travelled and brought back tales of wonder. We are greater than our thoughts can imagine and more beautiful than anything our eyes can behold. But woe are we. For ours is a kingdom in disarray. A spell has been cast and our race, in mortal sleep, knows not its truth. We have been tricked into believing a lie and we are paying greatly for it. It has hardened our hearts, dimmed our senses and made us into something we do not understand.

Chapter 3. Honouring the Ancestors
Christ died for my sins. Buddha became enlightened so I, too, could become enlightened. Black Elk had visions so I could share his visions. We are all one tribe. We who live today receive the benefit of every spiritual act from every person who has ever lived. The river of consciousness flows through the minds of all, past and present. It is through this river that we lift each other up through acts of the spirit like kindness and prayer. We are all joined. Within our consciousness is contained the wisdom of the ancestors, learned on their own explorations. They have left beacons for us to follow home. We honour the ancestors by studying the paths they walked. Their truths exist not only in books and oral traditions, but also in our consciousness. They will speak in dreams and symbols. Within us all truth is alive, waiting for us to discover. The ancestors can help me discover a path that speaks to my heart. I will follow this path with all my being. We who are alive are the new torchbearers. I will find my sacred song and sing its truth. By kindling my flame, I become a flame of the Great Mystery.

Chapter 4. The First Gate
We live in a trance - overwhelmed by our never-ending thoughts - desires, worries, fears, regrets and hopes. They distract our attention constantly. We perceive our world not directly but through these images. We live in a cocoon of our own making. How to break out into the realm beyond? I can let go of my mind and sink below the surface of my consciousness. Searching with the mind is like swimming on the surface - swim the whole ocean and I will find nothing. I sink to the place of stillness within. I bathe in the Holy Presence. With practice, this inner sanctuary becomes a refuge within my busy world. I feel at peace. From here the inner presence nourishes me with living waters. From here my prayers carry much power. From here the voice speaks to me sweetly. Helps me in my day-to-day affairs. Tells me truths long forgotten by my race.

Chapter 5. The Book of Law
The Book of Law falls open. Its pages are empty. "What is real?” asks the voice of Truth to the spirits of all who have lived. Like the sound of a raging river, I hear the voices of millions, each proclaiming their truth - all different with many contradictions. Silence fills the air and there is great expectation: "As thou hast believed, so it is true. Whatever you believe within, that you will see without. All power belongs to those who believe."

Chapter 6. The Temple Within
Tarry not, your temple is in disarray. There is work to be done. A new temple must be built. I will show you what to do. A complete restructuring of my belief system is required. I am called to build a temple with new, more powerful spiritual beliefs. My old, limiting beliefs must be changed. Every belief I possess about myself and my world must be re-examined in this new light. Will it strengthen the temple? Empower me? Awaken within me my sacred song? Assist me on my path? All the beliefs that fail must be halved and quartered by the Warrior. "Do you serve my master?" Through countless generations of neglect, the stream of consciousness of our race has been polluted by fear, doubt and weakness. Like leeches, they suck the life force from us. Blind us from our true power and glory. Deceiver. You belong not in my temple. I am prepared to deny my reality. Turn heaven and earth upside down. I need not accept what others have previously accepted. My temple will be a strong vessel, able to withstand the most vigorous journeys, for I intend to explore vigorously through unknown waters both within and without. Great and noble are the destinies of those who dare to follow this path.

Chapter 7. Building the Temple
In building my temple, I draw from many sources. I drink deeply from the well of my ancestors. I choose the finest beliefs I can find. Beliefs that speak to my heart. I feel no restraint in borrowing, adding or deleting from one system to the next. Do I believe it? It doesn't matter! Do I choose to believe it! My beliefs are chosen from within, not imposed from without. Daily, like eating and bathing, I focus and meditate upon the things I wish to believe. Imagine them to be true. And use simple affirmations. To imprint these onto my consciousness in much the same way as the times table. I know that any thought or concept which is fed and nourished through repetition will take hold within me. "Think not of results, just do." So said a Russian mystic. I labour to claim this reality. Until my beliefs become a living, flaming reality. Remember, this is not a path for the sluggard. Much is required before anything is gained. But I persist because there is no way for the temple to built but for one stone upon another.

Chapter 8. Coming home
I see myself just as I am. I have spent my life trying to be something else. To be more successful, better looking, smarter. I let go of that. I pull up a chair and get acquainted with the me that exists right now. I am enough! I am beautiful as I am. This is a wonderful and courageous step. Knowing and accepting myself without illusion takes a big burden off my shoulders. I can relax and enjoy myself. I become more tolerant of myself and others. I am able to delight in uniqueness. I come home to life as well. Things are what they are. I let go and allow life to just happen, instead of trying to orchestrate it. I appreciate everything just for what it is. I've tried to make believe life is something it is not - some utopia where every dream is fulfilled. Life is happy and sad. Life is joy and grief. Life is health and sickness. Life is excitement and boredom. Life is having friends and being lonely. Life is achieving your goals and failing at your goals. Life is being confused and being sure. Life is what it is and if I look at it beyond my illusion of what I think it should be, I find within its diversity, tremendous beauty and goodness. Friendship, a brilliant blue sky, making love, sunsets, acts of kindness, the beach, trees, a good movie, delicious food, a hot bath, beautiful music. Maybe there's no caviar but there's always a hot bowl of soup and it will nourish me. I let go of any bitterness, disappointment, anxiety or frustration and let the sun warm my bones. Wake up! Life is spilling out abundantly. Come home and enjoy it.

 

Chapter 9. Carry thyself with dignity
Behold thyself in glory. Love thyself as I love you. In this way you honour me. It is my duty to love myself deeply, totally, unconditionally. To see my dignity and nobility. To see myself as something of great worth. To do less is to deny the task for which I was born. Look at the flowering tree. I do not examine its flaws - this flower is beautiful, this one so-so. I appreciate it for what it is. Am I less than this tree? What is this neurotic self-examination that makes me feel ashamed, not good enough, unworthy, inferior. Am I not as beautiful as any star in the galaxy? As unique as a storm? As brilliant and radiant as the dawn of a new day? Of course I am! I am beautiful, special and unique. I see it clearly, not with intellect or reason but with depth and assurance. Is that the tree smiling back at me as if to say "What took you so long?" Have I been initiated into a secret?

 

Chapter 10. Bind thy wounds
If you have no scars, no bitter regrets or humiliating failures, then what kind of life have you been living? You are not of my tribe and belong not at my table. I sup with those whose battle scars cover their bodies and am proud to have lived gloriously through all that life has offered. Those that have bound their wounds and moved on. Life is an epic odyssey. Battles won and lost. Opportunities missed and seized. Fortune and misfortune both ours to experience. But what of my faults and inadequacies? I resolve to love them as part of who I am. I am beautiful because of them. They are part of my uniqueness, like markings on a wild animal. They give me flavour. Make me real. Wounds heal when I forgive myself and others for our humanness. I allow myself and others to make mistakes, miss opportunities, and make foolish decisions. I recognise and accept my vulnerability and fragility. My quirks and idiosyncrasies - all part of who I am. I am beautiful and special because of my humanness - in fact, this is where my true beauty lies. I do not complain each time I am wounded. I see the gifts that wounds bring. They spur me, change me, and give me compassion. And besides, wounds heal.

Chapter 11. And if the wounds cannot be bound
And if the wounds cannot be bound - bleed, bleed for me. For this, too, is holy. If the wound will not heal, then let it soak the earth in its pain and sorrow. Let your pain become an offering, a cleansing. Offer it joyously. Everyone must at one time or another carry a burden. No one is immune. It is the law of our being. And some carry greater burdens than others - this too is law. Ours is not to understand but to walk the path we find ourselves upon. If we have done everything we can - prayed for guidance, listened sincerely and followed - purified ourselves of self pity, depression, anger and resentment - and our path leads further into the valley of sorrow, then lift the cup to your lips and drink. "Not my will but thine." Venture ahead fearlessly, knowing there are gifts and treasures on this path too. We feel the suffering of others deep within us. We see thousands worse off than ourselves. We see we are blessed. I see the world anew through my pain. Released from self-absorption, simple things bless me deeply. I wonder why I ever worried about such trivial things in the past. But if the unhealed wound is tainted with bitterness and pity, then indeed we walk through the path of hell and all beautiful things are hidden from us. But always there is a way out, and always the path is through ourselves. Great is the mystery that shows us the path to the light.

Chapter 12. Judge thyself not
The Great Mystery never judges me. It supports, nourishes, loves and accepts me totally. And it encourages me to do the same. "Love thyself as I love you." And it is not just me that the Great Mystery loves. It comforts everyone, even the most wicked. Such is its love. None will be punished except those who punish themselves. All is forgiven when you forgive yourself. One thing only is asked of us: that we love and accept ourselves as the universe has loved and accepted us. That is all. I resolve to renounce all guilt and remorse for all mistakes, past and future. I do my best. No more is asked. Sometimes I will make bad decisions. Sometimes consequences will result which will hurt others. I am human. But I will not pay too much heed to these things. I will offer a silent prayer and move on. There is no point in regret or self-recrimination. For no matter how dire the consequences I imagine, the sun will still shine. Rivers will still run. The tree will produce fruit. The ocean tides will ebb. When I allow myself to be human and let go of my harsh judgements, I flower and bloom. My eyes are opened to my worth. Talents and gifts I never knew I had, begin to reveal themselves. Every part of me bathes in the warm glow of love and acceptance. Strengths, abilities, weaknesses and inadequacies. All things become new. No regret or shame. A life nourished from within. As the day accepts the sun and the night accepts the moon, so I accept myself. And so I become complete and whole.

Chapter 13. Prayer
The spiritual path is a path of prayer. Prayer is food for the soul and the universe. Prayer connects us, humbles us, strengthens us, enlightens us and makes us one with the Great Mystery.

The Prayer of the Holy Presence. A prayer of moment-to-moment worship with the Great Mystery. One needs to spend time with the Holy One. Like any relationship, it must be built and nurtured. It needs familiarity. Trust. Quiet, special time together. This goes beyond thoughts and concepts. Losing oneself in the presence. Letting anxieties and concerns melt away as I am transcended and uplifted.

Prayer of Praise and Gratitude. The more I thank and praise, the more beauty I perceive. As if praise washes and cleanses my eyes so more is revealed. This prayer is a door into the path of beauty.

Prayer of Love and Acceptance. I start with myself. I love and accept myself totally, for I know that until I can do this, I cannot truly love another, not even the Great Mystery. When I put myself down, I ridicule the work of the Great Mystery. Next I accept and love my fellow brothers and sisters - even (especially) those most annoying and repugnant to me. How deep is our love if we cannot love the violator as well as the violated? Do not both urgently need love and healing? There is no enemy, there is only ignorance. There is no one to hate, only many to love. Does the Great Mystery love this person? Always the answer is yes. Should I do less? Then I love and accept my life, imperfect as it may be. For it is the one I have been given. My life is sacred, special and holy. It is a great honour to have this experience of life. And finally, I love and accept the Great Mystery.

The Prayer of Request. An important and relevant prayer. It is the Father's good pleasure to give me the things I desire. "Whatsoever ye pray for and ask for, believing ye have received it, ye will receive it." When I want the Great Mystery to bring something into my life, I create that image in my mind. I spend time each day claiming it as mine already. I do not hope or plead. I simply create the images in my mind and live the experience of having it - with feeling and intensity for several moments at a time. Believe that it has already happened. Then I just let go of it. Let the Great Mystery work with these images. The power at work here is greater than my understanding.

 

Chapter 14. Fire Keeping
Deep within each of us is a flame that burns, and that flame is the spark of the Holy One. In some it burns strongly, in others it is barely distinguishable, but always it is there. With love and acceptance this flame grows. We can help others to kindle this flame by seeing the good in them, even if they do not see it in themselves. These are the fire keepers and great is their calling. Great is their glory.

Chapter 15. The Darkness
You must rededicate and redevote yourself again and again after the inevitable lapses and periods of dullness and inactivity. You will fail again and again. You will stumble and fall hundreds, even thousands of times. Before any real growth and stability appears you will despair, lose faith, get discouraged, doubt, feel sorry for yourself, and wonder if anything will happen. Does this mean you have lost your path? No, not at all - this IS the path. A Spiritual Journal can help to chart our progress (attempts, half starts, periods of activity and slackness) and discover ebbs and flows. Understand that there is an ebb and a flow of consciousness. The inner journey flows with tides just as real as the oceans. The Holy Spirit will fill me and I will live in full and dazzling awareness of its existence. Then just as unexpectedly, the awareness will leave. To suddenly return again. I know and understand the tides. When the darkness comes, I have a lamp and oil and wait for the light to return. I am at peace in the dark, having sailed these waters before. Spiritual practices during the darkness are necessary parts of the path and they strengthen our inner being immensely. If I wish to venture into deep waters, then I must learn to swim, not just with the current, but against the tide as well. This is not a journey for the timid or frail. So have an infinite amount of compassion for yourself. Pick yourself up again and again. Everything is as it should be.

Chapter 16. Details
Cooking, paying bills, going to bed, talking to a friend on the phone, going to the store, ironing a shirt. A life is full of details. Mundane details. Yet it is in these details that the fabric of life is revealed. The fabric a whole and yet each thread a part of the whole. I love and rejoice in the parts because I love the whole. Brother Lawrence, the Christian Mystic who attained his spirituality through devotion to his duties as a cook in the monastery, said, "God does not measure the size of a deed but the amount of love that goes in it." His every act was a prayer. Nothing is ordinary unless the most beautiful gem is ordinary. Unless the brilliant colours of the sunset are ordinary. Must every star be the brightest? Every flower, the most beautiful? If so, where is the contrast, the divergence of hues? A bird, a stone, the wind, the human being-each of us has our own reality, yet we are all one family. Each living and non-living thing is intimately connected with each other thing. Each has its own song to sing. Each fulfils a purpose. Everything has a destiny. Everything is part of the tapestry. Every movement we make, no matter how insignificant we think it is, is a tiny thread of the whole. Each of us participates in our own way. Each of us adds to the tapestry. Each of us weaves. Together with the sun and moon and every living thing, we make the patterns, and so the Mystery unfolds.

Chapter 17. The Awakened Heart
The awakened heart exists in one whose boundaries between self and others have been expanded. My heart expands to embrace others. And so I help because I want to. To lend a hand, an ear, give some time, concern, money - whatever seems appropriate. As I lose myself momentarily in service to others, I am nourished and find a nurturing inner peace. I let my heart breathe and beat for more than just myself. I become the vehicle through which the Great Mystery showers gifts upon others, because so many gifts have been showered upon me. I need not join any organisation, just follow my heart and do good. One step at a time. The heart opens slowly and sweetly like a flower emerging from a tight, hard bud. Sometimes when I practice service, I do it as an act of worship. I lose myself in worship of the GM. "As ye have done to the least of my brethren ye have done unto me." Every act of kindness becomes a prayer. Whatever good I do, I do not expect any praise or benefit. I am only a warrior serving my king. When I strive, I feel anxious, not in tune. When I let go, do what I am called to do and allow things to be what they are, I feel empowered, free, and alive. Sometimes I am called to action. Sometimes I am not. Not all crosses are mine to bear. I have not come to save the world and solve every social problem. It is enough to save myself and maybe make a good hot cup of tea for my fellow brothers and sisters along the way. Anything more is folly and conceit. I embrace action but renounce striving. I will do my best and let the universe take care of the rest. I can of myself do nothing unless the GM works through me. The GM has within it rhythms and cycles beyond what any of us can understand. The tides ebb and flow. The moon grows full and wanes. So it is with the affairs of men and nations. I allow these things to be and simply follow my heart wherever it leads me. I am never called to strive or worry or concern myself with consequence. A greater one than me looks after these things. I am the branch and the GM is the tree. I am a vehicle by which the source nourishes and spills out abundantly to its people.

 

Chapter 18. The Warrior and the Sacred Song
Each of us has a gift, a talent to give back to the world. It may be small or large, it does not matter. The sacred song is our own unique gift, our purpose, and each of us was born to discover and share it with the world. The sacred song can only be brought to life when the awakened heart weds the warrior's spirit. Only we can sing our sacred song. If we do not awaken it, it is lost to the world forever. We need the warrior's spirit within us. The world cries out for warriors. Gentle, kind and loving. But warriors nonetheless. Men and women who are not afraid to follow their vision. To be different. To risk all for the sake of something great. And to do this takes immense bravery. Brave, not through arrogance, but through humility and trust. The warrior approaches each task with a quiet confidence. Confidence because the voice within is an ally: it guides and directs him. Confidence because the power of the whole universe will come to his aid if he is rightfully aligned. Is this a sacred task? Will it nourish the people? The warrior goes into battle well prepared. His armour is his beliefs. Powerful beliefs about himself and his relationship to the GM, created through discipline and training. And in his right hand is a sword unsheathed - dynamic will, fulfilling the vision of the inner voice. For the warrior fights not just for himself, but also for the greatest good of all. He fights to birth the vision and he fights to win. It is his duty to win. The warrior knows the trickery of the enemy. The power of laziness, fear, doubt, confusion, feelings of inadequacy and a host of other demons to which the polluted waters of our race have given birth. He knows these enemies must be defeated. He stalks them with ingenuity and cunning. Gets to know their ways and habits and then quietly but effectively surmounts them one by one. True warriorship will take place within us when we shed our weakness and awaken to the act that we come from a long lineage of great ones, and we agree to take our place amongst them. We are the carriers of the torch of consciousness. We are creators of the future. The warrior's spirit exists in one who has dedicated himself to the path. The spirit of the warrior is one of resolve and determination. It drives through and over all obstacles. It is a commitment to follow the vision whatever the vision may be and wherever it may lead. To be genuine in each moment of our life. To be honest with ourselves. To respect the path we have chosen and follow it through to completion. This is how the sacred song is birthed. How our destinies are fulfilled. Each of us adding in our own way. Each of us an integral part of the whole. Each of us the Mystery unfolding.

Chapter 19. The Path of Power
Come let us tap into a source of power infinitely more reliable than any you have known before. All power comes from the GM. To walk the path of power, this truth must be as real to us as the sun at noon. It is possible to draw to ourselves whatever we desire. It is possible to become great in whatever our calling. It is possible to be as the mighty ones of old. We can do this because we can draw directly from the great cosmic reservoirs. Understand the Great Paradox. The Path of Power involves becoming less, not more. Less of me, the ego. More of the Great Mystery. When I quieten my mind and remain in stillness and feel this power, I feel renewed and empowered. To do this is to drink from the living waters. Here is the source of all power. Here is the source of my being. And here too, is my centre - not only mine but the centre of all centres. And in this holy centre, which existed before time itself, I live and move and have my being. Within me flow the living waters. Within me exist the laws and secrets. Within me is the source of all power. Within me lives the Holy Presence. Within me, everything. As my consciousness expands, my whole being changes and I vibrate at a higher frequency. Inner truths are perceived. Veils are lifted. I see with new eyes. It is through my deepening awareness that the gates of power are opened to me. Power is like a river. One is either aligned with it or not. Swimming with the current or against it. To recognising the GM as the source of all things and to align ourselves with it, is to have access to this power. We will find it indeed brings us all we desire. If we rely solely on our own means, what little we have will be taken away. The amount of energy we receive from the great cosmic reservoir is limited solely by our capacity for realisation.

 

Chapter 20. Walking the Path of Beauty
It is our sacred duty to awaken beauty in our lives. To let it fill our hearts and minds. In this way, we help to purify the consciousness of our race. The first step is when we accept life totally and unconditionally. Like a lover or an old friend, it has been with me through ups and downs. One day I wake up and realise I love it. Pain, heartaches and all. I allow life to be what it is. Life becomes my lover, spouse, companion. When we expect life to always please us, we live an illusion. It is neurotic too need to be happy, fulfilled, stimulated every hour of every day. We shun anything unpleasant. Flee from these experiences instead of accepting them as part of life. In so doing, we unconsciously reject life. Wait for something better than what is happening right now, when in fact all around us the miracle is unfolding. For every desire we fulfil, new desires rush to take their place. This was Buddha's great realisation. Everything in life is transitory. Feel the tenderness and fragility of it all. This makes it all the more precious. For every moment is unique. It can be appreciated only once and only now. Let us kiss our lover each moment. Let us accept it totally. Everything is perfect in being what it is. When I fully accept this, I walk the path of beauty. When I cease my judging, criticizing, comparing, I see that all things have their place. Even failure, sickness, misfortune play their part. In the grand scheme of the universe unfolding, all things are as they should be. Not so much as a hair is out of place in the universe. All things are unfolding in their special way. I have nothing to be concerned with or complain about. On the contrary, I have much to celebrate. The present moment is always alive with infinite treasures. Life is spilling out at us in abundance. Children playing. Birds singing. Colours. Flowers blooming. Wind in the branches. Ants crawling. Night and day. Poetry. Music. Making love. Friendship. Travelling. Eating. The universe is celebrating. Let us celebrate with it. A child sees everything as wondrous. Walking the path of beauty means living moment to glorious moment, letting everything be new and exciting again. Let us also see the beauty in one another's hearts. For every act of cruelty or deception, ordinary people perform a thousand acts of kindness. As you see beauty, praise it. Give thanks for it. Fill your mind with it. It will multiply and pour back a hundredfold. Open your heart and mind with continual practice. This will bring bountiful fruit. Like William Blake, we too will see God in a blade of grass and eternity in a grain of sand. Walking the path of beauty means worshipping at the temple of ourselves. Celebrating ourselves as beings glorious as the sun. As tender and innocent as newborn babes. As powerful as a raging river. Mysterious. Sacred. Holy. This is who we are.

Chapter 21. The Journey into Now
Here is home. Right here where I am, in this moment, regardless of where I am or what I am feeling. Each day, the journey takes me deeper into unknown territory. I am a nomad. We are all nomads. There is no stability here. No permanence. Nothing to grasp and hang onto. I cannot make life stand still. Everything is moving, changing, becoming something else. I can coax it. Try to direct it in the ways I want it to go. And I do these things and sometimes very successfully. But just when I think I’ve got everything sorted out and co-operating with me, off it goes, full of twists and turns, absurd reversals, outrageous surprises, crises, things you could never imagine and it won't stop. Home is movement, constant movement. If I wish to be comfortable in my home, I had best embrace the journey, pack my bags and travel lightly. I rid myself of excess baggage. I resolve too lose my life in order to find it again. With the smell of the open air and the wind at my back, I discover that I am at the very centre of the universe. And the pulsating, ever present Now reveals itself to me. Joyously letting go. Now becomes alive, radiant, all encompassing. Nothing is needed when I lose myself in its presence. Desires, worries, what are these? How feeble and pitiful. They scurry away frantically, in shame. They know they possess no glory like what is present. Even thoughts themselves seem subdued and timid. A fusion of one hundred million sensations all packed into the instant. The dance of Shiva. Colours, sounds, events. Frame by frame the universe unfolds. Now puts everything on a pedestal. Worships it. Proclaims it more holy than all. I celebrate this day, this moment. Needing nothing, wanting nothing. Everything contained within myself this very second. And suddenly I see it clearly. The kingdom is here this very instant. The kingdom I have sought so diligently is none other than my awakened consciousness. I have been at the steps of the kingdom all my life and knew it not. Contained in every second. Contained in every person. Our mortal eyes see it not, so preoccupied are we by day to day affairs, but spiritual senses, once awakened, fly to it like a bird to a nest. One enters the kingdom not through truths or teachings but moment-to-moment surrendering to the Mystery.

Chapter 22. All and Everything
I am the prism by which all is perceived. I need not change, make myself better or more beautiful - I have merely to behold myself as beautiful and it will be so. Ugly, it is so. Wondrous, it is so. Unworthy, it is so. All exists within. So it has been and will be forever more. And so I choose to behold myself and my life through the vision the GM has shown me. I will behold my life as glorious in sickness as well as health. In despair and in hope. In sadness and happiness. This will be my gift. This is my sacred song. To behold the wonder and glory - and to proclaim it loud and clear for all to hear. There is no greater honour than to honour myself. My life. All I can see and touch. Every person I meet. Each day becomes my miracle, simply because I live within the GM. The GM is there in all I do and experience. Each day becomes a tribute and a prayer and worship. Always together. Always one. Holy art thou, Mysterious One.

The Child

The Child
Blonde kid on a beach
Holding Mummy's sandal in my little hand
Mouth in an unrestrained smile of glee
Hat on head, feet in sand
Smiling at the camera
At Daddy
Who's been there
Since life began
Held me tentatively in his arms
And listened to my first garbled words
Dada! Dada!
And learning to crawl
Watch me crawl, dada!
Rising onto wobbly legs
His eyes watch me. What's behind them?
Unrestrained hugs of love? Whoops of joy at my achievements?
Does he hold me close to his heart and say special things
To his little son?
And do I want to impress him, make him proud, live to hear his praises?
Do I feel his pain? Do I feel his Wall?
Lonely, so lonely in the dark.
Do I try to climb it? Crawl under it?
Vulnerable. So vulnerable.
A little blonde son, with innocent eyes.
Green eyes. The same shade as his.
Trying so hard.
Do I feel his eyes on me - critical eyes?
Picking at my weakness.
Got to be perfect!
Caught in a circle of the past.
And future?
Do I feel his lighter sides too, his laughs and sparkles?
Every day, his presence moulds me.
Seeps into my soul.
The circle turns.
Or does it?

Written:  1997

Reflections from a deck chair

Oludeniz,  Turkey  1997

Reflections From A Deck Chair
I gaze into the sky below
stuck to the ceiling of the world
by an invisible force
that makes leaves fall in autumn,
breasts sag with age,
daredevils hurtle from planes,
water cascade into ravines,
chairs collapse under the fat,
snow avalanche from cliffs,
rain patter onto roofs,
and ostriches stay earthbound
as much as they might want to fly.

Written: 1997

The Netherlands (5 – 24 June)

Amsterdam, Marken, Volendam, Edam, Hoorn, The Hague, Texel

Post cards, travel notes and photos from my 3 weeks spent backpacking solo in The Netherlands.

Places visited

From Post Cards


6th June

• I’m in paradise. Amsterdam has to be one of the most scenic, vibrant, interesting cities in the world. I love the Dutch already – they’re really laid back and totally liberated and friendly. I’m amazed how much of the language I can understand with my Afrikaans. I’m having a very relaxed time soaking up the atmosphere, seeing some museums, and exploring the canals. The hostel here is very cheap so I’m in no hurry to move on.

7th June

• Wow, I’m speechless. I thought I was very open minded, but this just frazzled my outlook. Streets and streets of sex shows, cinemas and shops, and of course, everywhere, windows with very scantily clad, often drop dead gorgeous women beseeching you for sex (your money!). If it weren’t for my terror of Aids (and Ally of course!). God help me! But it certainly is entertaining watching all the goings on.

8th June

• I visited the Van Gough Museum today and fell in love with his work. It’s passionate, alive and colourful. I went to the famous Rijks Museum yesterday and saw some other great art works, including Rembrandt’s “Night Watch”. I’m so enjoying all this culture.

10th June

• Well, I can’t say the art in this very famous modern art museum turned me on much – a bit like the stuff we all churned out in kindergarten. But there was a fantastic photographic exhibition which more than made up for it. I’m still loving Amsterdam and making some really zany Dutch friends – learning Dutch really quickly.

11th June

• I’m still enjoying the sights and sounds of Amsterdam. Some of the activities include the sex museum (watching other people’s expressions was the best part!), sun bathing in beautiful Vondel Park, meeting some very interesting Dutch drop-outs, partying it up at some festive dance clubs, going to the Michael Jackson concert (sorry Gramps!), visiting the Heineken beer factory for lots of free samples, going on a canal boat cruise, the hash museum, window shopping at the Mayna Plaza, etc. Great fun.

14th June

• Spent a quiet day walking around this lovely little town of Marken. Many of the townsfolk still wear traditional dress (albeit, I suspect, for the tourists!). The town is situated on an island, connected to the mainland by a dyke. Very inventive these Dutch. I’m not my best – got a streaming cold – like everyone else in my hostel – sniffle, sniffle!
• I caught the boat from Marken to Volendam. Another beautiful town with delicious frikadels to eat. I hired a bike and rode around remembering to stay on the right side of the road! Great fun – there are more bicycles than Dutch in Holland. Best way to get around!
• I spent an interesting day at Zaanse Schans, shown here. A traditional (rather touristy) Dutch village. Tasted plenty of cheese at the market and Dutch ice cream and saw lots of windmills and how they work inside. Cows everywhere (beat the English sheep) and clog shops. Very scenic and relaxing.

15th June

• Edam, famous all over the world for its delicious cheese, is known as Holland’s “sleeping beauty” because it is so scenic. I gorged myself on the scenery and free samples of cheese. Then to the town of Hoorn I went, on the edge of a vast fresh water sea that the ever enterprising Dutch diked off in 1932. Lovely town with picturesque harbour. Picture book Holland – but I miss the mountains.

17th June

• I spent a fantastic day cycling around Amsterdam on a rented bicycle - felt just like the locals. Very flat but you’ve got to watch out for trams, buses, other pedestrians, bikes, etc and remember to stay on the right. There is a huge music festival in the city right now and everything is free so at night I get to listen to opera, classical, pop – all held open air on the canal. Fantastic stuff. My timing in being here couldn’t be better. My Dutch is fast becoming fluent.

19th June

• The Hague is the provincial capital (not economic) of Holland and I must say it’s a grand city with wide streets and beautiful buildings. Excitement – I got to see an international boule championship held in the city and it left me speechless. You wouldn’t believe the precision, they never miss but just keep hitting each other out of the way and taking shot. I picked up some great tips so cannot wait to have a game with you all! Better get practising Gramps!

20th June

• I’ve found paradise again. Texel, an island in the North Sea off Holland with long sandy beaches, green forests, nature reserves and quaint villages. Lazy days spent cycling round the island exploring on my three speed bike (far more than you need!). There is great bird life here (migrating) so I’m in heaven – oh and there are nude beaches, too!

Travel Notes


Amsterdam

• Thurs 5 June:  Catch bus and hover craft (City Sprint / Hover Speed) to Amsterdam. Takes whole day but relaxing and cheap. Meet sweet South African girl on bus, conservative, strict parents now blown away by Dutch freedom. Arrive 8 pm - goto Red Light. High novelty of beautiful girls in windows beseeching you with intimate, steamy looks and knocks on the window. Slimy doods offer hard drugs from dark corners - do I look suspicious? Visit sex shops to see vast range of videos and magazines on every kink, including animals (eels, chickens!), eau de toilette, fisting, SM etc. Impressions: narrow lined alleyways, tourists stare on the main routes, young groups encourage each other to go in, asking the price. Some of the attractive girls have lines outside. Client goes in and curtains drawn.

• Fri 6 June: Visit Oudekerek, oldest Amsterdam building and right in the naughty district!! Sex Museum - watching reactions especially in explicit section on different sex kinks. History of porno and photos of 1890 - 1970. Walk around the streets and canals of Amsterdam - what a vibrant, beautiful, interesting city with great pub and eatery life style. Weather hot, really hot. Then visit house where Anne Frank hid from Nazis and wrote her dairy. Moved me to tears - family betrayed and her father only survivor. Anne dies only few months from liberation. Dairy translated into 55 languages - a heart filled work of genius.

• Sat 7 June: Walk round the Rijks Museum- over 7 million pieces of art including 5000 paintings. Rembrandt's "Nightwatch" not overrated - spectacular with spot light effect. All other Dutch Masters as well as sculpture, pottery, porcelain and gorgeous doll houses. Come out in T shirt and shorts to find pouring rain. In evening, went for stroll - gave beggar supermarket food including SA's best - mango juice - then to cinema "Devil's Own" with Dutch subtitles and very saucy adverts.

• Sun 8 June: I explore the Vincent Van Gogh Museum - inspirational. A passionate man who only started painting late in life, his transformation from novice, brown paintings to his vibrantly colourful, revolutionary broad brush style. A genius, only painted ten years as he became insane - till his suicide - over 900 paintings. Just before, I help a Sicilian chap to roll his joint and smoke it. Then a relaxing cruise along beautiful tree lined canals to the harbour and back. Houseboats and a gorgeous old Dutch ship (part of Maritime museum)

• Mon 9 June: An early get up to the old Heineken Factory. Very schlick presentations, then to the stables of horses (so thats the secret to beers hue) - all horses named after members of the board. Then wonderful samples where I meet two very nice American girls. Then to the Stedelike Museum of Modern Art. Some impressive - but on the whole, no turn on. Except Nan Goldin photographs. Living, feeling art that brought me to tears. Photography based on relationships, not observation, reflections on her life and her friends. Deep, baring photos that capture the soul. Free life style, drugs, sex, love, pregnancy, operations, battered bruises, holidays and parties, cross dressing etc all captured intimately - including the decimation of the group to Aids - sickness, funerals, sorrow. Slide show to music. Most riveting art I've ever experienced. Art is creative expression that draws emotion. I feel the need to liberate my own creative expressions in some way, burst forth from my self conscious, analytical chains and express. Words are probably the best outlet for me now.

• Tuesday 10 June: An unforgettable day. Laundry and a long chat to a laid back Australian traveler. To the Dam to view the Koninklijk Palace. Shopping sights at the Magna Plaza, clothes galore and Virgin superstore. The World Press Photo Exibition at the Nieuwe Kerk. Then to the Arena for the Michael Jackson concert. Get tickets cheap and meet a wonderful Dutch couple - giving me a great feel for Dutch life, including Queen Beatrix. Some great laughs and fun. The concert is spectacular and emotional with massive explosions and sights and great use of moving image. Jacko hangs from a crane over the audience by his sweaty hands. A girl jumps onto stage and latches on - Michael handles beautifully till guards intervene. (Same girl night before and same emotional breakdown when sings old songs??)

• I join the crowds by train back to Amsterdam. Complete my thriller "And then came a Spider." Excellent psychopath killer read with some good twists. A walk through Vondelpark - meeting some interesting "drop out type" Dutch characters. Dogs mate unashamedly in the field - can't get away from it. Then I make friends with three Dutch guys and a girl. We get on very well - is fun to speak Dutch / Afrikaans - sheltering from the rain under a big tree. They chain smoke hash and drink beer + snort coke off their credit cards (despite police!). It feels good to have some deeper human contact. We almost hug our goodbyes. On the edge of oblivion but loveable nevertheless. Some general impressions: tower bells that play a beautiful tune. Bicycles, bicycles everywhere, watch out because if they don't get you the trams will!! Almost one bike per person. Canals with boats and mottley ducks. High houses with steep stares and gables. People sit at road side cafes and "people watch". Coffee shops sell hash too - milkshakes, tea etc.

• Thurs 12 June: Wake up sick with infected throat. Visit Torture Museum. How could people do such cruel things in the name of the church? Perverted cruelty! Why are we fascinated by it? Especially the wide based Pryamid on which victim was seated and weights attached to legs. Then to Hemp / Marijuana / Hash Museum. Unashamedly pro - glorifying the properties and advantages. Certainly seems to have strong merits for consumption and treatment of many health problems. I'll have to give it a proper try when my throat clears up.

• Fri 13 June: Awake feeling real sick. Fiery throat. Meet two SA's at breakfast. Quick train ride to 
• , a reconstruction of a Dutch village as it would have looked in 1700. Picture book Holland (very touristy) Windmills (including how work inside - triple story structure with massive network of cogs just to squeez oil out of pea-nuts!), clogg shop, cheese market (delicious samples), traditional Dutch houses, cows. Relax and write postcards. Wonderful evening with Amanda, SA girl as we hit the town. Classical music concert (including opera) on a huge makeshift platform on the canal. Brilliant and free of charge.

• Sat 14 June: My cold has broken. Gush. Bus to Marken, a traditional town on an island joined to the mainland by a dyke - my 1st! Wooden houses and some traditional dress. Beautiful harbour. Take boat to Volendam with a vibrant (very touristy) waterfront. Cute baby ducklings paddle along the canal. My first Frikadel (very nice.) Home early to nurse my cold. Off to music concert. Fantastic African band "Seven seconds away = popular song), then Samba. People dance.

• Sun 15 June: My running nose has congealed. Walk to station to catch bus out but so exhausted, decide to rest for day. 15 days of no neck clicking! And been feeling a lot better. Street festival, some entertaining comedian shows from rope walker and Houdini artist. Another concert tonight - traditional classical, followed by an extraordinary, alternative band with all sorts of ingredients (even heard a tune or two in there somewhere!) Very enjoyable though. Whole city closed off due to Euro summit. Impression: A bicycle with side car, huge Australian horn blown by passenger, "open the prisons", furtive, cheeky glances at little politie group as hum past.

• Mon 16 June: My cold is running again. God dam. To Holland's sleeping beauty, Edam. Gorgeous quiet canals, houses and shops. Very few tourists - refreshing. Walk and laze on canal banks. Lovely rural and suburban feel. Then to the town of Hoorn, on the edge of the Ijsselmeer, an inlet of the Atlantic that the ever enterprising Dutch diked in 1932 to form a fresh water sea. Lovely town with picturesque harbour - boats everywhere. Walked through the quaint town center to harbour, then along "coast". Warm weather. Final concert night - opera, then pop including Katrina and the Waves "Walking on Sunshine" and "Shine your Light."

• Tues 17 June: I hire a bike and ride round the city. To harbour, across canal by free ferry, delicious lunch from bakery, back to cycle Amsterdam canals. Lots to watch out for - trams, cars, other bikes, people + stay on right of road. Cold seems better. Impressions: Best cherry yoghurt in 500ml tubs with whole cherries. Chicken Pita. Cape fruit juice - especially Mango, salad shreds, frikadels, vrites "chips" with mayonnaise, curry and onion, krokets,

• Wed 18 June: I spend the entire day chatting to an Italian girl, about life and spiritual matters. From 11 am to 6 pm in garden by canal, then she gets me supper. I think she may be very needy but it feels nice to listen and connect. I've been missing real human contact. Gets me thinking about spiritual energy.

The Hague

• Thurs 19 June: To The Hague (Den Haag). Grand city. Bool on wide pavement in square. Open, rink divided by string, ground has light covering of sand and pebbles. Frenetic pace, lots of games on go, very informal, all types of dress. ome smoke. Practice - hit bool, spin away, then hit that - keep going. Marksmen. Hardly ever miss. Some go down on knees. Knock bools together in congrats. All ages, tent eatery. Some bools very high in sky. Some advertising branding along sides. Roadside vendor sell bools. Knocking out of way or closer is major part of game play - crashing down on bools, often to take shot - massive spin so stop dead. Tour old city - parliament buildings and palaces, eat a "kroket", read "Wall Street" newspaper, then proceed to the medium city forest.

• Coots diving for their young and building nest, carp spawning frantically. (not at all interested in fisherman's bait!) Lots of life in middle of city. Back to Amsterdam for an early night.

Texel

• Fri 20 June: early get up to catch train to Den Helder, then ferry to Texel (one of Wadden Islands in North Sea.) Mix up of Youth Hostels. I hire a bike and ride to Panarama Hostel with back pack and all. (Handled challenges like a pro!) Then cycle to harbour (Oudeschild) and along a dike to a quaint village (Oosterend) for very best apple pastry ever had. Cycle through forests and dunes to sandy (and blowy) beach. Then back to Den Burg and the hostel for a beer. Lock won't work on bike - never mind. Girl cycling with her horse. Get stink bug in my eye.

• Sat 21 June: Windy and miserable. Breakfast with my new German friends - she in Re-assurance. Fix my bike by blowing in it (sand!), then cycle to Den Burg for delicious "chicken springrole" (Loempia) and read magazines. Back to Hostel for hilarious reading of Roald Dahl's "My Uncle Oswald" Wickedly funny. Impression: Extraordinary bike contraptions for carrying young kids - windscreen with seat, baby rucksacks, baby trailers etc.

• Sun 22 June: Rainy and miserable. Then bike in rain and wind to Den Hoorn for a beer and bacon pancake. Relaxing. Then to sand storming beach - no nudes!! Back for a sleep where I meet slow American (Craig) and full of life Dutchman (Hugo). Hugo is passionate about sailing ships. Wonderful to have a consuming interest! Then off for supper (Loempia). The evening is beautiful so I cycle through the forest to town of De Koog. Sneak into farm for sunset but all the sheep charge for me, thinking I'm going to open gate to green pastures. Complete book "When She Was Bad" by Ron Faust. One of best thriller yarns ever read.

• Tues 24 June: Up early to the bus station by tram. Manage to get on. Meet nice British chap and have some good laughs. Dreadlock kids light their joints in the hovercraft after intensive French search. Hovercraft amazing - "Hope you enjoyed your flight." Can't wait to see Ally.
• Back in England!

London (24/6-27/6)

• Hello again, Ally. A very quiet couple of days resting. London weather has been foul for weeks non stop. Catch train to Coventry to get tent. Booked my flights for my next trip (to Israel etc). Lunch at Nando's. Get ready for Ireland.

Van Gogh Museum

Rijks Museum 

Nan Goldin exhibition

Red Light District

Anne Frank House

Central Station

Michael Jackson Concert at The Amsterdam Arena

Next stop  

• Israel