Farewell Sheila

Dear Sheila, Antony's mum, passed away this morning.  She was so dear to us all and will be greatly missed. 

"Lovely to think Sheila is going to see Henk again and dance with him to “when I grow too old to dream”. Their favourite waltz" - Jo

Farewell Jessica

Hi there Brandon

I just wanted to reach out and say how profoundly sorry I am about the loss of your beautiful Jessica. I'm thinking of you and your dear family.

I'm so sorry my message is so belated; I haven't been into Facebook in ages and have just seen your post about the memorial.

What a shock it is to lose someone you love in such a tragic way. I can relate just a little bit because I lost my dear dad in similar circumstances but its even harder when it's your own child.

I hope you are doing ok.  You are such a legend and we all love you so, so much. Life's hardest knocks so often happen to the very best of us. 

I hope the sadness in time becomes mixed with many happy and precious memories of a sacred life. Jessica, in the photos you shared, looks like such a loving, gentle, radiant being. I know she struggled greatly at times, but there was so much beauty there and a life full of priceless moments and experiences. Life is such a beautiful struggle, isn't it, so full of extremes.  Virginia Woolf, who also struggled with her demons, said  it better than I can: "The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder." 

I'm sure you've read or heard it before, but just in case you haven't, here is my favourite poem that always gives me some comfort when I lose someone dear.

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.

Mary Elizabeth Frye

Sending lots of love your way

G

Jason passes away

Beloved Jason always greeted me, when I arrived in South Africa, with such love and excitement. He spent many a night on my bed, all snuggled up.  He loved his food with a hungry passion. He adored walking in the Greenbelt and around the block, trotting, sniffing and peeing on many a bush. He was a loyal member of the Boting clan, always watching other members of the family with loving curiosity. When he or we were truly excited, he barked with abandon in his distinctive high pitched tone.  He was a truly beautiful little being and we will all miss him terribly. 

 

How wondrous that you can see Jason in his paw print, done by Sam.

Sam saying goodbye

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In loving memory of Graeme Perkes

A dear hiking friend, Graeme Perkes, passed away a week ago after a two year battle with cancer. Graeme lived life to the full more than just about anyone I know. He travelled all over the world, often exploring on foot or bicycle. He was a real inspiration. We will all really miss him.

I attended his funeral in Rouse Hill. It was a beautiful celebration of his life. Lauren did a wonderful speech that made us laugh through the tears.  She represented his friends. Graeme's two nephews also did a tribute, representing his family.

There were three tribute videos, one from his friends and one from the family. And lastly, and most special of all, was a video by Graeme of some of his photos and video footage from his hiking in Nepal. So beautiful and soulful. It felt even more profound because I am about to head to Nepal myself, in his footsteps.  I'll be doing the same hike as him to Everest basecamp.

A poem by Natham Lattimore, written and recited at Graeme's request

Hello God

It's been a while since we talked. A long time, in fact. You're like a distant family member I only see at Christmas. I remember you, though.

I remember the safety of your arms, and the warmth of your company. I remember the security I felt, as you spoke to me of the mysteries of life and the universe. That it all came down to love.

Even though we don't talk much anymore, I do remember that. The mountains I have climbed, and those I would never dare to attempt. The rivers I have waded through. The trees, united in forests that go on as far as the eye can see. All interconnected, all relying on one another for their survival. I see love, and its fingerprints wherever I look.

When I think of you, I think of my parents, my dear mum and dad, who did the best they could to raise me into as good, and kind a person as possible. I know that they credited you with every success they had; though myself, I see that in doing so they never gave themselves enough credit.

I don't claim to know the nature of existence. It's a mystery; an exciting one. Each adventure I have, I discover just the tiniest bit more of it; accompanied by yet more questions that may never be answered.

To leave this body, this shell that has failed me, and to become part of that mystery, to be enveloped by it... that may well be the most exciting adventure I have ever been on. And if you're there to meet me, then it will truly be nice to see you again.

Amen.

A beautiful gift

I went out with my hiking friends a couple of nights ago to celebrate Mack's life and they gave me this sublime painting of Mackie. A beautiful gesture that brought tears to my eyes. It was done by the amazing artist Koko Loco. It really captures Mack's indomitable, larger than life spirit and I love it so much. A very precious gift that I will always treasure.

Painting by Koko Loco

Drawing by Anusha

Thank you

In loving memory of Mack (2004 - 2023)

Mackie passed away a couple of days ago, just two months shy of his remarkable 19th birthday.

It's hard to put into words what it meant to share so many years with such an extraordinary soul. 

The lessons Mack taught me are imprinted on my heart:

• His constant display of unconditional love, shared abundantly and wholeheartedly.
• The priceless bond of true companionship and heartfelt connection.
• His transparent emotions, ever evident in his joyful tail wags and earnest eyes.
• The simple warmth of snuggling close, or just resting his head on a knee, shoulder or comforting lap. 
• The wisdom in his intent listening, reminding me that not every silence needs filling.
•  His ability to be wholly present, savoring every sound and scent during our walks.
•  The immense exuberance he found in fun, playful pleasures, even if was simply chasing after a ball.
•  Just how high you can leap if you put your mind to it, especially if you’re chasing after a tantalising rodent.
•  The importance of having boundaries, especially if your space is invaded by an overly spirited yapper snapper !
•  The living embodiment of virtues like patience, adaptability, curiosity, wonder, loyalty, trust, enthusiasm, alertness, forgiveness, and countless others.

Mackie was ready to go but the void left by his absence is profound. I’ve been doing lots of walking around Waverton to help process my sadness and every path I take is suffused with memories of Mackie, sniffing at every bush and lifting his leg to mark his favourite spots. I’ve had some beautiful cries, and its been a much needed release.

A heartfelt thanks to those who had a particularly special connection with Mack and helped enrich his life: Ally, Liza, Jasper, Chris, Yogi, Srini, Xenia, Shushann, Sharon, Martin, Matt, Sue & Alex, Dani, Lizzy, Chrisel, Russell, Elna, Jilly.

Mack, until our paths intertwine once more. The anticipation of our reunion brings visions of jubilant tail wags, playful dances, and exuberant panting. No doubt, Mackie will show signs of excitement too 🙂

Rest in peace, dear Mackie

To Liza

We had a beautiful get together at The Botanica yesterday. So many memories to share and everyone was very loving and supportive. Shushann brought beautiful Anush who I have a special connection with and she settled at my feet the whole time, as if she knew I needed solace.  It was all so bitter sweet.  I kept looking at Mackie's chair, where he used to snuggle into his blanket and pervade the scene, and it was empty.  The staff at The Botanica were so crestfallen to hear about Mack. And Steve and Vula, too, who run the Waverton Grocer. For such a little thing, Mack featured so large in Waverton. His loss is  being felt by all the people who knew him and loved him.

The most support I'm getting is from people who've also lost doggie soul mates. Jane, who was there yesterday, lost 17 year old Harry last year. And Heather in South Africa lost 21 year old Sally a while ago too. They both spoke about the crushing emptiness and loss that they felt and still feel from time to time, enough still to bring them to tears.

I've been doing a lot of walking in Waverton as it helps to process and settle the grief. Every path I take is pervaded by the memory of Mack sniffing shrubs and cocking his leg every 10 metres or so. I've had some really strong cries on the walks, and it feels good to do it.

From Liza

• I can recall every photo you forwarded of Mack at Botanica, and it was very, very clear he loved beyond measure being there, being with you there, and being with you and Chris there. It was always so truly delightful to experience Mack's enjoyment of sniffing, caressing plants, marking his spots etc.
• I genuinely hope you do really well in processing your grief, and recalling happy times Graeme. Mack loved you very, very much and for sure loved his home with you; I adored every photo of him on HIS balcony when he was a heat seeking doggie. I'm not able to recall any thing much just now but, for me, there won't be a doggie companion, as special, ever. Mack is, was, remarkable in so many ways. I feel proud of him, and of my contribution to his life Graeme. Meeting him with Mum on my birthday was an amazing thing, and there has not been a day I have not loved Mackee since. 
• For Jasper and I there was not a day we didn't look forward to Mack's arrival.  I loved his enjoyment, as an old fella, of night walks, his sniffing the ground and air; for month's now that was early mornings and as soon as the sun set. 

From Chris

So, So Beautiful Graeme. Now that is friendship. That is love. And you shared him with us all. You had a little engine of joy there.  He is a fond memory in many peoples minds, but I somehow imagine that in the big scheme of things when little Mackee was choosing which  human, he chose you and he was a winner.

Dear Liza. Our precious little friend has gone, but what a friend he had in you. I must say I have never seen such a beautiful connection between a dog and a human than between dear little Mackee and you.  You made him feel so special. Thank you for sharing him with me for some enjoyable times. I will miss him too. Take care. Wishing you all the best. 

From Ally

Hey G, was just calling to say how sorry I was to hear about Mack. What a lovely tribute to him - totally had me in tears!! He was one of the most special little souls and he will live in our memory and hearts forever. I am so glad you got to spend so much time with him.  I truly hope you are okay.  Sending you a special hug and love 💙

From Shushann

Ohh dear Graeme just read your beautiful piece on Mack. It has brought floods of tears. Sending you blessings and love over this heartbreaking but unavoidable letting go of our beloved fur babies. Until you meet again. Somewhere over the rainbow🙏🏽🧡🌈

Oh my goodness the photos were stunning. They could be a book in themselves. They tell many wonderful stories.

From Yogi

Sorry to hear your sad news. Mackie Boy was an exceptional dog - what great mates you were!  He gave you so much joy, & vice versa. He lives on, forever young, in your blog. 

From Srini

This message was sent by Srini from a mountain hike shortly after Mack passed away. Amazingly, he had no knowledge that Mack had gone. It was one of those beautiful synchronicities and deeply comforted me.

Richard

Shirley

Facebook condolences

Sue's funeral

It was a beautiful service which Sue would have loved.  What a pity one doesn't get to attend one's own funeral!  I was responsible for the slide show and it was a great way to reminisce and process my emotions. So many wonderful memories of a very special friendship.



Photo tribute to Sue

Funeral service

Funeral leaflet

Click on it to enlarge

Hi Graeme,

Many congratulations and many thanks for the outstanding job you did for Susan's service.

As you are aware, I sent it out to all those members who were active when Susan was in the club,
as most of the current newer members would not have known her.

I have received so many messages saying how fabulous the videos were, and asking me to say
a big thank you to you for all the work you put into it.

I know that you and she were very close, so it must have been very sad, and yet a labour of love to put it all together.

Graeme you were a wonderful friend and companion to her. She always spoke very highly of you, and the warm relationship that you both enjoyed.

I know that you will miss more that most others.

Once again, many thanks and congratulations for being there for her, and for the fabulous tribute you made.

Yours sincerely,

Hans

---

Dear Isla

That was such a beautiful celebration today of Sue and her life.  As someone said afterwards "That was the happiest funeral I've ever been to."  Sue would have loved it if she had been there.  Maybe she was, who knows.

Thank you so much for all you did. You guided it all so beautifully and all you said was so profound - it moved me deeply and opened my eyes to new ways of perceiving death. Death really is such a beautiful paradox as you say. Joy and tears. Exquisite, especially when its the death of someone who lived so fully and loved so many.

Your warmth and love and light were so evident today.  Your presence is such a blessing to so many lives.  Thank you for all you do.

G  xxx

---

Graeme,

I really appreciated your words of thanks following Sue’s funeral. So thoughtful and carefully written.

I am really terrible at promotion/marketing but I am listed on the Funeral Celebrants Association of Australia website with no accompanying info apart from my contact details. I think I would like to put your words next to my profile as a “testimonial”. Just using Sue’s first name and your first name. Would that be ok with you?

Regards

Isla

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Hi Graeme,

I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated getting to “see” Sue’s Memorial Service.  The video made me feel as tho I’d almost been there.  It was a lovely service and your slide show was a wonderful collage of Sue’s very colourful life.

As Sue would have said “thanks muchly” for the time and effort you put into everything and especially creating the website so It could be seen for those who sadly couldn’t be there.

The whole effort was a real credit to you.

Fond regards
Wendy

Mack with Liza's mum

Liza's mum, Helle, has just passed away after a long battle with cancer.  She has been a huge part of Mack's life.  She was even with Liza in 2010 when she met Mack for the first time as he tried to run across the highway  

Liza took him to the hospital just the day before Helle passed.  As Liza said in her email to announce her mum's passing away ...

MACK was with me at the hospital yesterday; I held him up and Mum said "Hello Beautiful"... lovely it was.

Reading that really made me cry!!  Mack has blessed all our lives so much.  It's special beyond words that he could be there.

Tribute to Henk

Henk, Antony's dad, passed away over the weekend. He was a very special man who treasured his family above all else. I didn't know him well but I remember him most for warmth and friendliness and smile. Below is a beautiful tribute that Jo has written, to be read out at his memorial service.

Jo's tribute to Henk

Today is a very sad day!  Although we have been expecting this day to come for a while, Henk finally passed away this morning.  He was such a gentle, brave man who fought Alzheimer's for many years.  Even when it was so hard for him to string a whole sentence together, he always would come out with the funniest one liners and make us laugh.

Henk was a true gentleman.  I never heard him say a bad word about anyone.  He was a great hugger and when we went to visit, he always gave you a tight squeeze and made you feel like he was the happiest man in the world to see you.

Henk loved old cars, planes, books and movies about world wars (uncanny how he died on the 70th anniversary of D-Day).  He loved travelling the world and around South Africa in his Sanjong  Musso.  He loved water and swimming and it brought out the fun and youthful side in him.  He would always be the first to jump in the pool and it was always done in style with a 10/10 forward flip.  When he arrived in Plett after the long drive over, he would say to the family "Lets go and wash the Free State dust off".

He loved grapetizer and always ordered the fish on the menu at a restaurant. I remember his love of icecream - but real vanilla, not the sorbet stuff!  Even better if it was smothered in chocolate sauce.  

Henk loved music and especially the song "when I grow to old to dream".  It was a common sight to see him sweep Sheila into a dance in the middle of the lounge.  He would put Jessica onto his lap and while Antony played the organ, Henk would take Jessie's hands and pretend to play the piano with her and then waltz her around the room.

Henk always had a whistle or a hum going and loved to show the kids how to draw aeroplanes or ships.  We were all impressed with his skill.

He loved the outdoors and hiking and nature.  He would take his stick and go up the Contour Path on a regular basis.  I first knew him in his Camps Bay house, and he loved the beach and to go walking along the Sea Point promenade . 

When we asked him how he was when we saw him, his first response was always 'first class' or "A1" Even when he was sick, when he saw Ants or Matt, he would say "hi Buster" or hi "Sonny Boy".

 But the thing that was the most important to him was his family and especially his wife Sheila.  I have never met a couple who doted on each other so much and never left each others sides.  They did everything together and even shared that teeny tiny bed right up to the end.  They shared a love that was so strong and so deep and if any of us can have what they did, we would be truly blessed.

Henk adored his grandchildren.  He loved walking Sam and Matt to the waterfall near to their Camps Bay house and skimming stones into the water.  My kids loved sleep overs at their house and they never left there without getting a chocolate.  I love how after a family meal, Sheila washed and Henk dried and how his garage was so impeccably neat and organized.  If there was any tool you needed, Henk had it.

He was so generous and loved taking the family out for Sunday meals.  In the early days, we would head out and explore different wine farms in the Stellenbosch and Franschoek area.

He was a keen member of the Crank Handle Club and after a Sunday drive with the club, he and Sheila would pop by to Constantia and visit us in his beautifully restored car.  It was a privilege to have him drive the car at my wedding.  Grandpa Tony was the proudest man to be sitting next to me in it but I secretly think he just loved being seen in Henks Bentley.  He kept waving at passers by!  Henk was always punctual and I think I was the only bride who was actually early to her own wedding!

Henk was a man who loved tea as much as I do and it was even better if it slipped down with a marie biscuit!  I remember many afternoons, having a cuppa tea at their Camps Bay house, looking out of the window at their gorgeous view while Henk sat on his favourite chair.

Henk, even though you suffered from Alzheimer's for many years and acutely for the last 3, you never forgot your family.  You knew who everyone was and with a family our size, that is truly remarkable!  

Your legacy will live on in your children and of course, your amazing and talented 8 grandchildren.  You were an inspiration and a true gentleman and your love will never be forgotten..........

Joanne xx

Sam's tribute

I'd like to start off by thanking everyone here for coming and for all the support you have given towards my family during this tough time.

I'm sure most of you had the privilege of meeting my truly amazing grandpa but I'd like to describe and say what I  remember most about him.

1. Adventurous - for all the seas he had sailed, mountains he had conquered and lands he had explored, my grandpa was never a man who would have nothing to do. He would always be hiking, walking or taking my cousins and I to the waterfall near their Campsbay house to skim stones.

2. Artistic - when I was in grade 5 and visited him in hospital, all he wanted was a piece of paper to draw on. I was star struck by his neat, realistic sketches of buildings, ships, aero planes and cartoon characters. I'd ask him to draw me a pirate-ship in my grade 2 school book whenever he came to my school for grandparents day. I would then go around bragging to everyone that my grandpa was the best drawer in the world! Unfortunately I did not inherit his drawing skills.

3. Loving - the one thing my grandpa loved more than life itself, was his family. From his greetings of "hi buster" and "hello there sonny boy", our visits with him were never a disappointment. The stories he read us (almost always about some sort of moving vehicle) to his long stories about The War, he always had something interesting to say. And even though I hated saying goodbye, it is one of my most treasured memories. He would stand with my granny in their drive way waving to us in the car and my brother and I would look out the back window until we couldn't see them anymore.

4. Inspirational - the way my grandpa lived his life to the fullest is something I can only dream of accomplishing. He was one of the kindest people I've met, a true gentleman, and the love he gave and received was priceless.

So grandpa, we will miss you, but this is not goodbye. For you will always live in our hearts, our memories and all things beautiful.

At the funeral

Sue, Alex and Amie

My housemates, Sue and Alex are leaving for Europe and taking gorgeous Amilie with them.  So sad!

Saying goodbye to Philip at Tuesday night Eckhart group

Philip is moving to Victoria.  So sad.  We'll all miss him a lot, especially his wonderful sense of humour.

The view of the full moon rising from Jilly's flat was beautiful. Hard to capture though.

Chris, Jilly, James

Nelson Mandela (1918 - 2013)

Nelson Mandela passed away today. He is one of my greatest role models. I will always remember him with an immense amount of love.

As a South African, here are some reasons why I love and admire him so much:

• Despite spending 27 years in prison, he emerged without bitterness, embodying forgiveness and reconciliation.
• His innate joyfulness and immense charisma.
• The way he fought tirelessly to dismantle apartheid and ensure equality for all South Africans.
• The way he led South Africa through a peaceful transition to democracy.
• The way his commitment to non-violence and unity inspired a divided nation to come together.
• The fact he gave South Africans the courage to dream of a better, united future.
• His belief in education as a powerful tool for change inspired countless initiatives to empower young South Africans.
• Despite his fame, he remained humble and grounded, always putting others before himself.
  
  

Some favourite quotes

• After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.  
• For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.  
• Forget the past.
• Courageous people do not fear forgiving, for the sake of peace.
• You will achieve more in this world through acts of mercy than you will through acts of retribution.
• As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.
• Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.  
• I was not a messiah, but an ordinary man who had become a leader because of extraordinary circumstances.
• I stand here before you not as a prophet, but as a humble servant of you, the people.
• I am not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.
• I am not an optimist, but a great believer of hope.
• No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite. Nelson Mandela
• We owe our children – the most vulnerable citizens in any society – a life free from violence and fear.
• What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.
• Action without vision is only passing time, vision without action is merely day dreaming, but vision with action can change the world.
• Your playing small does not serve the world.
• And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.  
• There are few misfortunes in this world that you cannot turn into a personal trimuph if you have the iron will and the neccessary skill.
• Lead from the back - and let others believe they are in front.
• It is wise to persuade people to do things and make them think it was their own idea.
• Nelson Mandela quotes on Wisdom Trove