Sharon, Lydia, and I met up in Dee Why for what was meant to be a brisk coastal walk. The weather, however, had other ideas, so we spent the first part of the morning sheltering from the rain over warm drinks and long chats at Girdler's Cafe.
Eventually, the downpour eased enough for us to venture out along the lagoon. We hadn't walked far when we spotted a lone, incapacitated seagull lying flat on the wet sand.
Lydia, practical and eager to keep moving, was keen to press on. Sharon and I, however, couldn't bear the thought of leaving the poor creature there to suffer in the cold. We pulled out a phone and rang WIRES to report the distressed bird.
Instead of dispatching an immediate rescue crew, WIRES escalated the call straight to the Department of Primary Industries’ Animal Diseases division, suspecting it might be carrying avian flu. The operator gave us strict instructions: under no circumstances touch the bird, leave it precisely where it lay, and immediately complete a detailed biosecurity form they would text to my phone.
We turned back to continue our loop, but moments later, a follow-up message arrived requesting an urgent photograph of the suspect specimen.
Lydia and I picked up the pace to head back to the spot, while Sharon strolled along a little behind us. When Lydia and I reached the site on the sandbank, government protocols were rendered instantly obsolete. Two large crows were perched directly on top of the seagull, methodically ripping into it. The bird was already half-eaten.
We turned around and walked back toward Sharon, who was just catching up.
"The problem is solved!" I announced with genuine, unbridled relief.
Sharon’s face lit up with wide-eyed, delighted amazement. "It’s okay?! It flew away?!"
"No," I replied cheerily. "It’s been eaten by crows."
To my mind, it was a total victory: the seagull’s suffering was officially over, and nature had dealt with the backlog far quicker than any government agency ever could. Sharon, on the other hand, stood there looking utterly horrified, staring at me as though I had personally invited the crows to lunch.
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