Onset of mania

Hi Heather

That's great that you got that downloaded and working. Simplest thing in the world to add pages.  I think they may already be at the foot of the page.

Funny about the energy. For days I've been hugely fatigued with no energy at all, almost certain that would be the case for goodness knows how long while I come off the strong stimulent I've been on for several years.

Today I've taken very little and should feel even tireder than usual.  But I suddenly feel more alive than I have in my whole life.  I have thoughts flowing through me that to the mind seem extraordinarily profound. None of them repetitive, all from the deepest place.  I've spent the day in reverie allowing the ideas to flow, enjoying them, not pre-occupied as I usually am with capturing, but capturing a lot when it feels peaceful to. It feels like the most extraordinarily creative experience of my whole life.

I don't know where it's going or whether ideas will ever see light of day, and don't even feel to attached to that right now.  Who knows how I'll feel tomorrow?  Whether energy will still be here (the body, to all accounts needs plenty of rest having been neglected for a long time.  My state doesn't feel manic in the slightest (had lots of experience of that in past 3 years.)

Who knows where it's going?  I have a strong sense the mind has no control over any of it. Ever. At any time.  Just enjoy the ride and experience of it and don't try to control it.

Not that the mind has any control over whether it can let go of control?  Am I sounding insane?  Surely insanity can't feel this good?  If so, I choose it!  Not even going to edit this.  How totally unlike me :)

Graeme