In many ways, my childhood can be defined by the things I loved. I had a very happy childhood. I had two supportive, generous parents who adored me and were always there for me. I loved them very much in return. I had a wonderful sister to play with and share things with though we did go through a stage of fighting all the time - and I must admit I did like to egg her on. I think all siblings go through this stage but it did drive my parents dotty when my sister would shout at the top of her voice "Get out of my room!!!" and I would shout "Say please!" But by the age of 12, we liked each other again and in many ways, we were soul mates during our teenage years.
(my mum's folks). My earliest memories of Gramps are of a tall, bigger than life, bronzed figure with a pipe in his mouth and a sparkle in his eye, regaling hearty stories and spreading fun and laughter wherever he went. Gran was quieter but she was always so gentle and affirming and generous.
I remember them flying to South Africa for summer holidays (they lived in England during my early childhood), armed with hugs and funny stories - and my life would be complete. Gramps was quite simply my childhood hero and I dreamed of being like him when I was big. I cannot describe my elation when they decided to come and live with us in South Africa. It was the happiest day of my life.
Later childhood memories (after Gran and Gramps came to live in South Africa) include:
Granny and Grandpa "Station"
I also deeply loved
Granny and Grandpa, my dad's parents. I was their first and it would turn out, only grandson and they doted on me.
Happy childhood memories of my grandparents include:
- Grandpa fetching us from Midway and walking us to their flat in Rondebosch through the park
- Trips to Muizenberg with Grandpa on the train (me, with a cherished Appletizer in my bag) where we would go for long walks (me often running to keep up)
- Cycling to their flat in Rondebosch to enjoy Granny's Sunday "Roast Chicken" lunch with junket for dessert
- Wonderful holidays at The Birkenhead Hotel in Hermanus with walks along the sea and the huge dinner menu the hotel had - and how Grandpa would try to get through every course (he had an insatiable appetite but always remained skinny)
- Lunch at The Mount Nelson
- The "cutlet" and anemone shells that Grandpa collected
- Granny's hair net - she always looked beautiful and immaculate
- Grandpa listening to the share prices on the radio
- Grandpa's cluttered garage where he would spend much of his time with his tools while listening to the radio
- Grandpas's old Mercedes car
- Visits to our house every Sunday, Granny armed with chocolate logs
Pets
My childhood would simply not have been the same without our pets. They were an integral part of my growing up and my love of dogs in particular persists to this day.
The first dog we had that I remember well was Cindy, a rescue dog from the RSPCA (the local dog pound). Cindy was a total "brak" - a veritable hotchpotch of different breeds to the extent they were indistinguishable. But, oh my god, how I loved that dog. And Cindy loved me back with equal fervour. Even when I was quite rough with her on occasion as young kids are, she never lost her temper or snapped at me.
Our second dog was Scamp who mum rescued as a puppy from a bunch of boys who were teasing him with a can tied to his tail. If it's possible, little Scamp was even more of brak than Cindy and he was unabashedly ugly but we adored him too and both he and Cindy became fully fledged members of our family.
The next addition to our family was Tinkerbell, a cute little kitten that Jo totally fell for when we were on holiday at Eight Bells and managed to convince mum and dad to adopt.
Cindy had to be put down due to an accident with a car (unfortunately she liked to chase them) and Scamp due to old age.
Our next dogs were Tina, followed by Meg. We had them both from puppies. Tina was a cross between an Old English Sheepdog and a Labrador. She was besotted with balls and would chase them down the driveway until my arm got sore from throwing. She would be most disapproving if Meg got to the ball first and do her very best to get it back, even if it meant using guerilla tactics.
Tina had a very happy personality and it was personified by her tail that would wag at a million miles an hour whenever we came home after being away - even if just for 5 minutes. Unfortunately Tina's tail was bitten in a skirmish which left a wound. The vet put a bandage on for protection but Tina kept wagging her tail and hitting it against walls by mistake which would make the wound break open again and it would leave streaks of blood all over the house. It got so bad that it left no alternative but to amputate poor Tina's tail.
For two weeks after the operation, Tina wore a pair of mum's old knickers as this was the best way to protect her stump. When the pants came off, Tina's mannerisms underwent a radical change. If she was happy to see you, she no longer had a tail to way, so she'd wiggle her entire hindquarters vigorously instead and she'd squat and widdle with excitement and she'd make loud grunting sounds of pure pleasure.
Tina wan't the brightest sandwich in the picnic basket. In fact, we had a popular phrase in our household: "Don't be as as thick as Tina." An example of Tina's "thickness" was that she loved chasing butterflies. Except it wasn't the butterflies themselves that she'd chase, it was their shadows. And often, she'd stub her poor nose into the paving in an attempt to "get at them."
Of all our dogs though (and I loved them all very much), Meg was my favourite. She didn't wear her affection on her sleave like Tina. She was much more weary and you had to earn her trust first. We had a very special relationship. When dad died, I adopted Meg and looked after her at Willow Road but it wasn't a good life as I was often at work and Meg was not used to being alone. When Meg died, about a year later, I cried and cried and cried. In many ways, her death was the catalyst that allowed me to start releasing the grief that I felt for dad.
At various time, we also had hamsters and guinea pigs as pets. I remember at one time, we had two female hamsters (they were sisters) who lived upstairs and downstairs from each other in a double story cage. Jo and I were really keen to experience the joys of baby hamsters and somehow we twisted mum's arm so that she agreed. In retrospect, we must have used black magic to achieve this. I think the fact that mum had found a pet owner who agreed to take the offspring off our hands helped a lot.
We borrowed a randy male hamster and introduced him to the downstairs female. We left him there for 10 minutes but she clearly wasn't interested. So we moved the male to the upstairs boudoir and once again, there wasn't any hot action. Soon we lost interest but we left the stud in the upstairs cage for half an hour while we played elsewhere just in case they might suddenly fancy each other.
Three weeks later both females gave birth! How downstairs female fell pregnant we will never know. Immaculate conception or something. The fact remains, we had a combined total of 22 baby hamsters to contend with. Of course, Jo and I were ecstatic. We were in baby hamster heaven.
All was well, until a week days later, we came to feed the hamsters to discover the cage had slipped to the floor and had sprung open and every single hamster had escaped. Complete mayhem. Operation "Find them!!" ensued. It was extremely challenging as the spare room had all sorts of nooks and crannies. Some we found in mum's boots. Others had climbed into the curtains. Others were in the back of cupboards. But, believe it or not, we found all of them - even if it did take us two days!
The next calamity was that the pet shop owner changed his mind. He said he couldn't deal with so many babies. 22 babies and no-one wanted them. So poor mum had to go into hard sell mode. She instructed Jo and I to offer free baby hamsters to our friends at school. Everyday we'd take a couple of hamsters to school in our pockets and offer them to our friends who would excitedly take them home with them. Very few mums sent them back. But that's not to say they were happy. In fact, mum maintains half of the mum's stopped speaking to her overnight.
Finally there is the sad tale of our two guinea pigs. They lived together in a hutch on the lawn that dad fashioned out of chicken wire. They were cute little creatures and they lived happily together. Every morning before school, I would feed them. Then one day, we came home from school to find them both stone cold dead. But they were untouched and the chicken wire was intact. It conspires that one our other beloved pets (probably Tina) saw fit to bark at them loudly through the wire (the neighbours heard the commotion) and the poor little guinea pigs literally died of fright.
To be honest, I was sad but not devastated. Part of me was relieved that I no longer had to wake up 10 minutes early and brave the cold morning air to feed them.
Cindy
Scamp
Tinkerbell
Tina
Meg
Water baby
Ever since I can remember, I have loved water. And if the photos are anything to go by, that started at a very young age. I adored the paddle pool and loved splashing about. The photos also show I was quite keen on swimming in the noddy if at all possible. Not much has changed.
I also have vivid memories of the family spending warm, summer days at Newlands and Sea Point pools where I would swim about in my bentley belt. Newlands Pool was the first place I ever jumped off a diving board. It was probably no higher than 4 feet but I can remember the elation I felt when I found the confidence to leap off it. Ever since then I have had an urge to do high jumps into water where they are available.
Here for example.
Ice cream is not the only food I relished as a kid. My vice was (and still is) sugar and mum's crème caramel, trifle, banana desserts (with walnuts) and her decadent chocolate mousse always sent me into raptures. Ah, chocolate! Every Saturday night, our family would curl up in front of the TV and we'd each get a quarter slab of Top Deck or Nestle "Chocolate and Nut" to savour with a cup of coffee. A family ritual is was. We used to keep the chocolate in the freezer because we all agreed it tasted better that way. That is something I still do to this day.
Sometimes mum would buy herself some chocolate for herself and I'd discover it and I'd call over my sister, my partner in crime, and say "I'll have some if you do!" and sometimes she would agree and we'd nibble off a piece or two or three or four... And mum would discover most of her cherished chocolate gone and have a well deserved tantrum and send me off on my bike to buy more.
Talking of pilfering (and my sugar addiction), I also sometimes pilfered tins of condensed milk from mum's well stocked cupboard and I'd make a hole in it and spoon it up. I could easily eat a whole tin in a sitting even if I felt a bit sick afterwards. The problem is I never had the foresight to throw the tins away and mum would invariably find the tins months later. Still, she was a good sport about it.
One other thing that I jipped from the cupboard was almonds from the almond packet. And here I was a lot more sneaky. I'd cut a small hole in the plastic with a razer blade and slip nuts out. Then I'd meticulously place sellotape over the cut. And when temptation reared, I would do this several times until half the nuts were gone. I don't know if poor mum ever noticed the diminishing nuts or the sellotaped cuts but she never mentioned it.
Shocking isn't it? With all this pilfering, you'd have thought I' have turned to a life of crime!! I've only once considered stealing something in real life and that was a nutty caramel ice cream stick from a local cafe. But just the thought of it turned my legs to custard and I never considered it again.
Of course it wasn't just sweet stuff that I loved. I adored mum's Sunday roasts, especially her roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. I also loved her kedgeree, toad in the hole, steak and kidney pie to name but a few dishes. I was also extremely partial to Granny Station's roast chicken lunches with lots of vegetables and junket for dessert. It was an institution. And Granny England's dinners were also always scrumptious and the highlight was her crispy roast potatoes and trifle with delicious lumpy custard.
Camping
Memories don't come better than our annual "boys only" camping trips to Uilenskraal just outside Hermanus. Grandpa, Dad and I would drive out there in Dad's orange variant. We always camped in exactly the same spot under an old tree. We'd always erect two tents - a big orange one for dad and Grandpa to sleep in with large wooden pegs that would require a heavy rubber hammer to drive into the ground. My tent was considerably smaller and easier to erect.
After the tents where up, we'd set up the old camp table and chairs. The we'd go for a walk along the beautiful lagoon. At night, dad and I would often go for a stroll in the adjacent camp site were there were hundreds of dilapidated caravans. It was quite spooky at night but I always felt perfectly safe because I was with dad and it was at times like this that I'd feel such love for him that my eyes would literally well up. Then on the way home, we'd stop off at the little camp shop and get mint chocolates.
Breakfasts were always a veritable feast. All three of us were big eaters and we'd create a huge fry up using an ancient iron frying pan - egg and lots of bacon and banana and bread and tomatoes and more would all go into the pan and the gorgeous smell would create much anticipation for what was to come.
Mum found a
pile of old letters that I wrote to Gran and Gramps when I was a child. Amongst them is a drawing (see photo below) of all the elements I've mentioned - the old tree, the Variant, the orange tent, my small tent and the camp table. This drawing is now a treasured possession. I feel so thankful to Gran and Gramps for keeping it.
I have two particularly vivid memories from our camping trips. The first was when a large black snake slithered across the grass close to the tents. I was absolutely terrified and gramps, in a protective instinct, gave it a mighty wack on the head with a large stick. It turned out in the end that it was a non poisonous mole snake. When it was dead, I was able to hold it and I was absolutely fascinated by the way its scaly skin felt.
The second was my first ever fishing experience. Dad patiently showed me how to create fishing knots and tie on hooks and sinkers. Then he taught me how to cast and I practised over and over again on a long section of grass by the tents. Finally it was time to try the real thing. I was so excited. We pumped prawns on a large mudflat close to the camp site - dad always maintained that live prawns made the best bait. Then we went down to the lagoon mouth and dad taught me the grissly knack of threading the hook through the wriggling prawn. I cast in and as if ordained, caught a feisty steenbras within 10 minutes!! Talk about beginner's luck. Excitement doesn't adequately describe how I felt.
Unfortunately it's been downhill since then. I'm been fishing many times since then but I'm usually the last to catch a fish or the fish I do catch are laughingly tiny. But nothing can take away the thrill of catching that first fish.
Holidays
A holiday I can remember vividly was our trip to England when I was six years old to visit Gran and Gramps. It was the first time I can remember flying and I remember the enormous excitement I felt when we walked from the airport onto the tarmac and I saw the huge Jumbo that we were going to fly in.
Once we were in England, we got roller skates as a present and Jo and I spent hours roller skating down Gran and Gramp's short drive. I also remember hours of playing Lego with Jo - we were both addicted to Lego. I also remember playing with a Fisher Price fire engine that gave me hours of fun.
My other memory is going to Brighton beach and my surprise that it was covered in pebbles and not sand.
We also visited Uncle Jack and Auntie Nancy in Devon and I can remember creating a birds nest in their hedge using straw. I also faintly remember visiting
Auntie Lottie who was the oldest person I think I'd ever met. She ended living to 103.
Then there were our annual trips to Eight Bells, a farm that was about five hours drive from Cape Town. We would leave very early in the morning and I'd sleep in the back of the car. We'd stop for a breakfast of sausages and egg out of a Tupperware which I didn't like at all but mum thought I loved. Mum was quite devastated when I admitted this to her a few years ago because she had very happy memories of our breakfasts. During our stop, dad would replenish the petrol in the car out of a big plastic container. For some reason it was illegal to do that at the time, so he'd do it on the sly.
The thing I remember most about Eight Bells was the horse riding. We'd ride everyday and I loved every minute of it. A highlight for me was the exhilaration I felt when I cantered for the first time and how smooth and free it felt compared to the jerkiness of trotting. I remember feeding the horses sugar lumps from my hand and stroking their noses.
Eight Bells was the place where I had my first crush. The object of my affection was Farmer Brown's daughter who was a few years older than me. She came horse riding with us once and she was a really good rider. I thought she was magnificent.
Other places we had had holidays were Mountain World and Sedgefield. I don't remember much about either except for swimming in the pool at Mountain World and being looked after by a nanny and the fact that we children ate separately from the adults. I didn't really like that.
Other holidays I remember are camping trips with the Culleys which I loved. More about the Culleys later. I remember we had a huge family tent that had a collapsible frame that would take hours to put together. But it was a cool tent with separate internal compartments so we were able to have our own private "bedroom."
Later still, we enjoyed several fun holidays in Pringle Bay with the Rusconis where we'd spend many happy hours on the beach.
Toys, hobbies and past times
The first toys I can remember playing with were my soft toys. There was Rabbit and Doggie and Benjamin (a deer) and my favourite, darling little Wiki (a teddy bear). Later, there were two little Labrador puppies though I don't remember the names I gave to them. My soft toys used to sit on my bed and I'd choose one to sleep with them every night. I always made sure to give them equal attention because I didn't want to make them jealous.
I also had a selection of trucks and cars and bull dozers and I'd make bridges and roads for them in the garden using bricks and logs. This gave me hours of fun. We also had a sandpit next to our garage where I'd make sandcastles and forts.
When I was a bit older, I spent hours playing with my Action Men. My favourite action men were Tonto and the Lone Ranger and I used to create elaborate plots for them to take part in. I played with my action men for several years, culminating in The Lone Ranger getting a girlfriend (a Barbie doll I sequestered from my sister's collection.) However, I don't remember much monkey business happening between them. I had a relatively sheltered childhood in this respect, so theirs was a strictly platonic relationship.
My other favourite toys were my army men and army trucks. I used to set up two armies on either side of my room. Then I'd sit on each side and pepper the enemy by throwing coins. The army with the biggest number of fallen soldiers would be the losers.
I remember the excitement I felt when dad built us a platform in one of the trees in our garden. It wasn't very high but Jo and I would have great fun sitting on it. I also used to love climbing in the tree outside mum and dad's bedroom window until Dad one day chopped it down. His excuse was that it took away too much light from their bedroom. I think the real reason is that mum and dad wanted a little privacy and didn't want me seeing something I shouldn't!
Probably my favourite toy of all was my electrical train set. I'll never forget the day dad took me into the toy shop when I was nine years old to buy me my first train. I was so very excited. We set up the train in the outside room. Gradually I bought more trains and carriages and I adopted dad's old trains too so I had a fantastic selection and I (and often Jo) would spend many, many hours making the trains go round the track and building little villages and stations for the trains to stop at.
Jo and I also spent many happy hours playing table tennis. Gramps used to buy Jo and I lottery tickets and one year I won R 200. I opted to spend the money on a fancy table tennis table that allowed you to fold up one side so you could practice playing against yourself. I did plenty of that. I became quite good and can still play a mean game of table tennis to this day. My forte is my sneaky serve.
Another hobby of mine was stamp collecting. Gran and Gramps and Uncle Nancy used to send me stamps and first day covers from England whenever new ones came out and I'd collect them in a big album. Gradually stamp collecting became a big passion of mine and I'd spend all my pocket money and birthday money on stamps.
One of the most exciting moments of my life was when Uncle Mike, a good family friend who was also an avid stamp collector (except his stamp collection was worth thousands) gave me a Penny Red which was well over a hundred years old. This blew my mind and this stamp became my most treasured possession for a while. I still have the stamp and I will always treasure the memories around it. Of course, you can imagine my delight when later in my life (after the death of my dad), my dear Uncle Mike and mum would fall in love and get
married.
Later in my childhood, I thoroughly enjoyed playing TV games and later still, computer games. My favourite TV games were Pong and Space Invaders. My favourite computer games (played on my Commodore 64) were Beach Head (a war game where you shoot down planes from a ship) and Commando (based on the movie starring one of my later childhood heroes, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Movies
I have been a
lover of movies ever since I can remember. At Vista Nova, we'd watch a movie every Friday afternoon and it was the highlight of my week. At St George's, we'd watch a movie at the end of every term. Thus, movies were not only greatly entertaining in themselves but they came to represent the freedom and exhilaration of the approaching weekend and holidays.
In my early days, you had to hire a projector to watch a movie at home. There were no videos. Sometimes parents would hire a projector to show a movie at their kid's parties. That was always the highlight of the party for me. My mum tells the story that at one party, I excitedly asked the host what movie we would be watching later. The mum had not been planning to show a movie at all. But she was so concerned about dashing my expectations that she sent her husband racing off to the movie rental shop.
There are three movies that I can vividly remember seeing for the first time when I was young...
The first was "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly", a classic spaghetti Western starring Clint Eastward with a very distinctive sound track. I watched it at Cavendish Square at their children' holiday movie club and it totally blew me away. Since them, I've seen the movie countless times and is still rates as one of my all time favourites.
The second movie was "Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark". I watched it when I was 11 at the Rondebosch Metro Cinema by myself and it grabbed me by the scruff of my neck at the very first scene and took me for the ride of my life for the next 115 minutes. It was exciting and exhilarating and at times horrifying and I lapped up every minute of it, especially the scene of Harrison Ford in the pit of snakes.
The third movie was James Bond in "Live and let Die" which I watched at a party. It was my first ever Bond movie and I was totally entranced, especially when Bond saw fit to escape from a tight spot at a crocodile farm by using the backs of crocodiles as stepping stones.
My favourite TV shows were "The A Team", "Mc Guiver" and particularly, "Magnum PI." It was our family ritual to watch TV together on a Saturday night. I'd curl up in a sleeping bag on the couch and savour a quarter of a bar of frozen chocolate and a cup of coffee - a family ritual, the memory of which I will always cherish.
I also enjoyed reading books. My favourite author by far was Enid Blyton (Harry Potter didn't exist yet in this days) and I must have read every Secret Seven and Famous Five she ever wrote. I loved comics too, especially Tintin, Asterix and Archie.
Christmas
Another cherished Myburgh family ritual was the way we spent Christmas. The highlight, of course for a kid, was the opening of presents. The night before, mum would put all the presents into big piles for each of us. There were always lots and lots of presents. Mum and dad were always extremely generous and we'd always get thoroughly spoiled. Mum would not only get us what we hoped for but she'd get all sorts of carefully thought through other things to draw out the suspense and excitement of opening presents.
On Christmas morning, mum would take the hot mince pies out of the oven and put them onto a tray with generous slices of Christmas cake (laced in brandy) and cups of coffee. We'd all go into the lounge and Jo and I would eagerly oggle at our present piles.
Gran and Gramps would always be there too and we'd all sit in our usual places with our presents at our feet. Then we'd each get to open a present, one at a time, in a clockwise direction. Lots of "ooohing" and "aaaahing" and thank you's and Gramps always in full force. Dad was always in great form too. There was always lots of laughter and joviality and in the background, carols would be playing.
Dad would almost always video tape us for the opening of our "main present" to capture our reactions. To be honest, I wasn't always the greatest fan of Dad's video camera that used to come out every Christmas. It made me feel a bit self conscious and "on show". But now, twenty years later, I am so thankful that he took the footage. In so doing, Dad recorded some of the precious family rituals and memories that I hold most dear. You can see
some of the videos here.
Amongst the special presents, there would also be "funny presents" like Jo's gift of willy warmers and Gramps present to dad entitled on the card "For the man who likes a bit on the side." It turned out to be English mustard which caused much mirth.
Another ritual is that each Christmas, we would also meet up with our family friends, the Cullys (John, Doreen, Jane and Wendy) for a delicious Christmas dinner of Turkey and Gammon and all the trimmings. Mum and Doreen would host it on alternative years. There was always a veritable feast to enjoy and it was always topped off with a generous serving of rich Christmas pudding with cream and brandy butter.
The Cully's
Talking of the
Cully's, they were an integral part of my childhood. Jane was my age and Wendy was the same age as Jo. Our families spent Christmases together and often went camping together too - and the four of us got on like a house on fire.
Jane and I went to pre-school together and she was the first girl of my age who I had a crush on. In fact, one of our first mutual memories is of me asking her to marry me behind a couch! Jane was my closest female friend other than my sister and I learned much from her about what girls wanted and how I should dance and what kind of music it was fashionable to like and that sort of thing. We had a wonderful friendship and I'll be honest, I did feel a little jealous when we hit our teen years and she started dating. Jane is now married and has 3 children. We've lost contact although she did contact me in 2006 to say she'd seen my blog and it brought back wonderful memories.
The Rusconi's
The Rusconis were also very close family friends. We spent many happy times with them at the beach, swimming in each other's swimming pools, going camping together and going on annual family holidays to Pringle Bay. Later, we would also spend several Christmases with them.
Julian remains one of my oldest friends. Jocelyn, his mum, used to give me a lift to school and I remember Julian as a quiet, little guy in a bright red T shirt who was totally passionate about aeroplanes and Mekano and anything mechanical . He was fascinated by dad's trains and they developed quite a strong bond as a result.
Later, at school, Julian and I would become very close friends. We attended the choir together (Julian was very musical and played the violin beautifully) and we had school lunches together. Then we attended the same university and we often studied together - he engineering and me marketing. We also went on annual escapades to the Grahamstown Festival and Natures Valley. It was even thanks to Julian that
I met Ally at a camping site in Kleinmond.
When I was young, I was also good friends with Robert. We regularly played tennis with each other but we gradually drifted apart. He was an extremely bright guy who used to win Maths Olympiads and excelled at sports, including a solo swim to Robbin Island which was an amazing feat for someone so young.
In the photo below, Julian is the chap closest to the camera. The other girl, Marcela, is Julian and Robert's sister who was close friends with my sister, Joanne.
Other favourite Places
I like the photo below. It shows me in one of my favourite places as a child, namely Rhodes Memorial. I particularly liked the statues of the lions and the view of the city from the steps. Another of my favourite places as a child was Kirstenbosch Gardens where we regularly had picnics with the Cullys and the Rusconis.
Pre School
I don't have too many vivid memories of my Pre-School days but I do remember enjoying it, although I was scared of the bigger, older kids to start. That stopped when I became a bigger, older kid myself. My highlight at Pre-School was starring in a nativity scene and playing the role of Joseph. I found I really enjoyed being the centre of attention on stage and it was a precursor to my love of acting at St Georges.
My lowlight at Pre-School was the morning tea. It consisted of milk that was warm from the sun, burnt rusks and soggy tomatos. I've have had a dislike of cut tomatoes ever since.
Me in my role as Joseph. My mum was so very proud.
Mum's memories of my childhood (written September 2010)
The day you were born – I was the proudest mother and you were the best looking baby in the ward (by far!) There was another girl in the labour ward with me and we were neck and neck until she developed complications and her little boy, Nicholas, was eventually delivered with a misshapen head and very badly bruised from all the instruments. You, in comparison, looked like a caesarean baby with a perfectly shaped head, and perfect skin. Grandpa Station, who was not a man for compliments and never gave me the impression he thought much of me, was enraptured and visited every single day I was in the hospital. I think producing you and Jo were the only things I ever did right in his eyes!
Life at Dennekamp was not easy. There were no other children and it was a mistake we had been allowed to rent there in the first place so a number of owners and tenants had watched with horror as my tummy grew bigger. However the maids thought you were wonderful and I was the only person whose washing did not get stolen off the line! I think they felt sorry for me!
Grandpa came regularly and certainly, once I was pregnant again with Jo, he would come and take you down to Muizenberg. I took you to England when you were 6 months old to visit my folks. Mum had been very ill but having you around cheered her no end. Dad missed you so much that he flew to Johannesburg to meet us when we came home! On the trip over to England, Gill Spencer, as she was then, travelled with me but coming back I was alone and you were miserable the whole trip and cried and cried. However we arrived to find you had cut three teeth during those 12 hours so had a justifiable reason for being such a horror!
Granny Dorothy came out again to look after you when Jo was due. In those days younger children were not allowed in the nursing home so mothers disappeared for a week and then arrived back with another baby. You were always incredibly gentle with Jo but caused havoc every time I fed her and once managed to empty an entire box of washing powder all around the flat while I was busy with her.
Moving into Bertram Crescent was fantastic after life in a flat with 2 kids. We only saw the house once before moving and I stood and wept when we finally got occupation because it was filthy and the previous owners had literally hundreds of pictures so there were nails everywhere and marks all over the walls. However the garden made up for it and you could create your wonderful train constructions etc. and play with water in the sand pile at the back of the garage. I cannot remember why we had sand there but I do remember the hours of fun you had.
You weren’t too sure about nursery school and I had to stay with you for much longer than most parents. You weren’t too sure about being left at birthday parties either! However you eventually felt confident enough to survive on your own although while Jo was in hospital for over a month it must have been very hard on you too as I was torn between being with her and being at home with you.
I can still see you as an angel in the nursery school nativity play and as Joseph in your final year. Oh what a proud mother I was!
I also have fond memories of our annual holiday to Eight Bells and how you loved the pony rides and going on the cart. Do you remember the year we went and Jo had a broken collar bone? She was still all strapped up and in a lot of pain so could not participate in many of the activities but she found a kitten and fell in love so we had to bring Tinkerbell home. Oh the sadness when she was run over and the other awful day (our 16th wedding anniversary) when we found Tina had terrified the guinea pigs and they had all died of shock!
I am sure you remember the annual camping trips with Dad and Grandpa to that camping site near Hermanus and catching your first fish. Also the trips to the Marine Hotel, with Granny and Grandpa Station, where you were spoilt rotten by everyone. Oh how I worried about Grandpa’s driving and I was always so relieved to see you safely home again!
The last holiday we took as a family was to Mauritius. The hotel was not a good choice for teenagers but I still think we had a good time except for the special night boat trip on your 18th birthday when you spent the whole evening getting greener and then being sick. Not what we had intended at all!!
Another holiday that comes to mind is when you and Robert went off to Erla Nel’s family’s sheep farm. You returned and spoke to me in Afrikaans and said you even dreamt in Afrikaans too. Obviously a great success as the whole idea was to give you more confidence in the language.
Of course we had some great breaks with the Rusconi’s on other occasions – Pringle Bay was one such place where you slept up in the attic with all the kids and the dog drank out of the toilet so we had to flush the loo every time someone used it, day and night! I think the dog was Helga in those days and she would rush from one child to another on the beach trying to keep watch over all of you.
I don’t remember a lot about your year at Vista Nova except that you developed into a very caring person, always willing to help the other children with handicaps. I also remember the school psychologist calling me in to tell me that at your initial IQ test you appeared to be borderline “normal” but 9 months later, when they tested you again, you were in the top 10 percentile. He explained that once you were confident of your surroundings and more relaxed, they saw the “real you”. Looking back this is probably the first indication that you have such an anxious streak but, of course, we were blissfully unaware.
Your move to St George’s went smoothly and Shirley Allen told me she often had to take a watchful back seat when you were bullied on occasion because you always tried to protect some of the other kids who you felt were being mistreated. She felt you had to learn to stand up for yourself as well as others!
Some of my favourite memories of those school years are watching you playing rugby and then, after that disastrous first game when you really did not know what you were supposed to be doing or where to run, you ended up winning a cup for the most improved player! The annual so called “fun run” up near the Table Mountain Cable Station when you would arrive back at the car ashen in colour but so proud to have done well for your house and, of course, the wonderful musicals where you were given bigger and bigger roles. Talking of that reminds me of all those evenings when I took you to choir practice or to evensong. How angelic you looked in your robes!
I can still see you all dressed up for your Standard 8 dance when Jane arrived in that monstrosity of a dress – yellow with frills made from some material Doreen had found in her cupboard. You were wearing your first suit and we had practiced the waltz in the lounge. Tony took Jo because he was too shy to ask anyone else!
Then there was your matric dance with Wendy in an equally awful dress but she had such a stunning figure no-one looked at anything but her very well developed boobs and everyone else was envious of you!
All I can remember about your time at university is the typing – often done by your devoted mother late at night because you preferred to work into the early hours of the morning I remember correcting the grammar in the group projects and being horrified at how bad some of the other group members’ work was! I also remember most of the time you were very scruffy but on Friday/Saturday nights, when there was a ballroom dance, you would emerge like a butterfly looking oh so handsome in your dinner jacket. Do you remember those ballroom dancing lessons? After the first UCT one you came home so depressed because you were never going to be able to dance. I was the one who insisted you go for some private lessons as I was determined you would not end up like dad. That was one good decision I have made!!
Dad, Granny, Grandpa and I were so proud of you on your graduation day although it was so incredibly hot in that hall I thought I would pass out! They loved it when you popped in to visit and, of course, those two weeks you spent with them when you had your appendix out were the foundation of such a special relationship with them. We had some wonderful Sunday lunches too while Granny was able to cope and her roast potatoes always surpassed mine and her lumpy custard always caused such mirth! Oh what she would have given for the ready made custard I buy now!
There are so many thoughts crowding into my brain but this will do for now. I may add to it later but I’ll send this as is for the moment!
Much love, Mum
Excerpt from letter from Jo (on my 40th birthday)
We shared so much together growing up. Sunday morning escapades, lots of laughs, secrets and chocolates eaten on the sly. I remember drinking milk with you, then spinning round making ourselves so dizzy and laughing so much that it ended up coming out of my nose!!! Christmas with the Culley's, then the Rusconi's, camping trips that I was jealous not to be able to come on and spending hours playing lego, marbles and Marco Polo in the pool. I remember Sunday roasts"with" "Granny' Doris, "white"cheese sandwhiches eaten at Muizenberg with grandpa and waiting in Dad's car in the parking lot while he combed his hair after surfing - while 10 drivers waited for his spot!!
Dinners to Casanova with Granny and Grandpa Freeway and eating Italian kisses. The joy of cycling round to their Epworth Road house and sleeping over, Granny's crispy roast potatoes and lumpy custard. Mom, who was always there for us, making sure we had everything we needed. Friday nights at Youth and then all the lovely, hysterically funny letters you wrote to me while I was overseas I remember your face through the hospital glass when you saw Sam for the first time.
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