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Showing posts with label memoirs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memoirs. Show all posts

April 23, 2026

Mike's memoirs

What follows is the story of Mike's life, written in the 1st person, adapted from a series of discussion we are having in. It's fascinating hearing the story of his life. This is very much a work in progress ...


Mike's Memoirs


I was born in England during the Second World War, though both of my parents were South African by birth. My father had been born in Pretoria and my mother in Bloemfontein. Before the war they had travelled to England aboard the Llangibby Castle so they could further their studies. My mother studied music at the Royal Academy of Music and completed her LRAM, while my father studied metallurgy.

My father eventually became chief metallurgist for a large engineering company called Acton Bolt. During the war the company was heavily involved in manufacturing munitions, and my father became deeply immersed in that work. He was a brilliant metallurgist and did important research into high-tensile steels and specialised metals used in wartime aircraft and equipment. Some of the bolts and steel components he helped develop were later used in Spitfires and other aircraft. For his services during the war he was awarded an MBE.

As a child, though, I knew none of that larger significance. What I knew was wartime England.

We lived in Hatch End near Pinner, not far from Harrow, on the outskirts of London. I can still remember the strange glow in the sky during the Blitz — the orange-red light hanging over London as bombs fell in the distance. I must have only been four or five years old, but those memories are still vivid. We wore gas masks. At school we were taught how to use them and how to rush into underground shelters during air raids. I had just started school at Grimsdyke Grammar School in Pinner.

At that age I had no understanding of Hitler, invasions, or geopolitics. I only knew that adults were anxious and that we children were constantly being prepared for danger. Looking back now, I realise how close England felt to catastrophe during those years.

One of my earliest and strongest memories came after a childhood accident. I was rolling a snowball in the street one day when I picked up a shard of broken glass hidden beneath the snow. Our milkman apparently used to throw broken bottles into the road. I badly injured one of my fingers and was taken to hospital.

There were no proper facilities for children, so they placed me in a ward full of wounded soldiers evacuated from Dunkirk. Oddly enough, it became one of the warmest memories of my childhood. Those men adored having a child in the ward. They wheeled me around in their wheelchairs, gave me bits of chocolate — an enormous luxury during wartime — and treated me like a mascot. I can still remember the kindness of those wounded soldiers.

After the war my father was selected to establish a South African branch of the engineering business. His boss in England, Tom Parker, thought highly of him and believed he was the ideal person for the task because he was South African-born and technically brilliant.

My father left ahead of us for Johannesburg to establish the factory. My mother, my baby sister Elaine, and I followed later aboard the Carnarvon Castle. By then the ship had been converted from wartime service back into a passenger vessel.

Even on that voyage my curiosity got the better of me. I became fascinated by the ship and befriended the engineers and crew members. I spent so much time exploring the engine rooms and learning how the machinery worked that when we reached Cape Town they struggled to find me so I could disembark.

I have always been intensely curious about how things work.

When we arrived in Cape Town it was the first time I met many of my relatives. During the war years communication had been extremely difficult. I remember my mother once waiting days for a phone line to connect so she could speak to her father in South Africa for the first time in years.

My maternal grandfather, Robert Lee, was a remarkable man. Originally from London, he had emigrated to South Africa as a boy and eventually established a successful construction company called Robert Lee & Sons. He had worked as a carpenter and restorer before moving into building and construction. By the time I knew him he had built many important structures around Cape Town and had strong ties to places like Rondebosch and Lakeside.

There were even roads and houses connected to the family name. Lee Road in Rondebosch was linked to property he had developed, including a house called Sandhurst. He had also been involved in early school buildings connected to what later became Rondebosch Girls’ School.

My grandparents lived in Lakeside in a beautiful home called Lee’s Home. Because my father was working in Johannesburg establishing the new factory, my mother, sister and I stayed with them for quite some time.

Those Cape Town years were magical.

My grandfather owned one of the old bathing huts at Muizenberg beach where surfboards and beach equipment were stored. My uncles taught me to surf there. We would spend entire days at the beach, often buying huge watermelons and eating them together on the sand after surfing. The sea became deeply woven into me from those years onward.

I attended St George’s Grammar School as a weekly boarder, staying at Bloemendal boarding house during the week and returning to my grandparents on weekends.

The area around the school was still quite rural then. We climbed trees endlessly and invented dangerous games that no modern school would ever allow. One involved swinging from tree to tree like monkeys before leaping to the ground. Another involved a strange game called kineki, where you flipped sticks into the air with another stick — a wonderful way to blind someone if things went wrong.

But nobody worried much about safety in those days. It was just after the war. Boys were expected to be adventurous.

Nearby there was a rugby field used by coloured rugby teams. Their matches were ferocious affairs. Fights constantly broke out and ambulances stood ready beside the field. We watched them in fascination from behind the fence.

Eventually we moved to Johannesburg to join my father.

At first we stayed in rented rooms in Kensington while my parents established themselves. Later my parents bought a five-acre smallholding in Benoni. That property shaped much of my childhood.

We had chickens, sheep, orchards, dogs, and horses. My mother kept a horse and grew fruit which she packed into little punnets and sold at the local markets. I often went with her.

The area around us was still deeply rural. There were farms and market gardens stretching between Benoni and Johannesburg. Jan Smuts Airport did not yet exist — the land where it would later stand was farmland.

My father’s factory in Boksburg North fascinated me endlessly.

It was enormous. Trains ran directly into the grounds on private railway lines so materials could be loaded and transported. My father had brought several highly skilled British families out with him — specialists in engineering and metallurgy who formed the core management of the factory.

My father believed firmly that children should earn their pocket money. If I wanted money, I had to work for it.

So as a boy I worked in the factory during holidays and weekends. I worked in the metallurgy lab, the workshops, the stores, and the railway loading yards. I learned how to use lathes and machinery. I worked alongside boilermakers, fitters, turners, cabinet makers and engineers.

At the end of each week I received my wages in a little brown paper packet.

I loved it.

Although many people later assumed I would become an engineer, my deepest attraction was increasingly toward farming and the countryside.

Life on the Benoni smallholding strengthened that feeling. We had wonderful dogs — a pointer, a Rhodesian Ridgeback, and my beloved Rex, a cross between an Alsatian and a retriever.

I also remember one terrifying storm. Long before it arrived, all the animals crowded nervously into the house. The dogs and cats hid beneath tables and refused to leave. They sensed the storm coming long before we did. Eventually massive trees were torn down around the property.

I became deeply involved in sport during my school years.

At St Dunstan’s School in Benoni I played cricket, football and swam competitively. The school followed the English model closely. I became head of house and threw myself into school life. Elaine attended the same school years behind me.

Swimming became one of my great passions. I trained intensely and eventually became deeply involved in lifesaving. Later I became the first schoolboy in South Africa to qualify as a full examiner for the Royal Life Saving Society.

Another lifelong passion began in those years: collecting.

It started during wartime England with matchbox covers and cigarette cards. Cigarette packets often contained collectible cards featuring ships, aircraft or trains. Boys traded them obsessively.

Eventually stamps took over my imagination.

When we arrived in South Africa my grandfather showed me a huge box filled with old stamps from letters sent during the war. He also owned a magnificent stamp album containing Cape Triangulars and rare old issues collected by him and my uncles.

That ignited something in me permanently.

After prep school I attended Glenwood High School in Durban as a full boarder.

I adapted well to boarding life. Sport dominated much of my existence there — rugby, swimming, lifesaving and cadet band activities. I became a bugler in the school cadet band and we competed at an extremely high standard under military instructors.

Swimming remained central to my life. I trained constantly and became captain of my house swimming team.

When I left school I decided I wanted to become a farmer.

Before agricultural college I worked for a wealthy farmer in the Lowveld who owned thirteen farms. That year became one of the great practical educations of my life.

I worked with tropical fruits, cattle ranching, tractors, dam building and machinery maintenance. Eventually I spent long periods on an enormous cattle ranch in the mountains near the Mozambique border — a vast property of some 35,000 morgen.

We herded thousands of cattle across immense distances. I learned to ride horses properly while driving cattle toward plunge dips for tick treatment. I repaired fences, maintained equipment and worked alongside hardened old farmers who understood animals instinctively.

One of the managers, Oom Piet, lived in extraordinarily primitive conditions with his family. I eventually built them a proper kitchen counter and eating area because their living conditions disturbed me.

During that year I briefly became caught up with an intensely religious farming family and wrote a long, earnest letter trying to convert my father.

He wisely concluded I needed broader horizons.

So he arranged for me to join an expedition travelling through Africa into the Congo.

That journey changed me forever.

We travelled by Land Rover through Rhodesia, the Congo, Uganda and Kenya over nearly three months.

We climbed volcanoes near Lake Kivu where lava still flowed from side vents. We walked across old lava fields that cracked beneath our feet like eggshells.

We entered the Ituri Forest and spent time with pygmy hunters. A Brazilian anthropologist who had lived among them for years introduced us to their communities. We watched them hunt using beautifully crafted poisoned arrows.

We climbed high into the Rwenzori Mountains with porters carrying our supplies. We crossed elephant paths and moved through forests of giant bamboo and enormous tree ferns unlike anything I had ever seen.

Roads in the Congo were terrifyingly primitive. Some mountain routes allowed only one-way traffic controlled by men communicating with drums from opposite ends of dangerous passes. Trucks occasionally plunged off the mountainsides.

It was wild, dangerous and unforgettable.

Afterwards I attended Cedara Agricultural College in Natal where I studied animal husbandry and practical farming over two years.

We learned everything — dairying, forestry, blacksmithing, veterinary basics, machinery maintenance, crop management and farm economics. We even operated our own student-run farm.

I loved it completely.

But after my father died, the dream of owning a farm together collapsed.

Eventually I drifted toward dentistry after aptitude testing suggested it suited me.

I entered Wits University and began six gruelling years of dental training.

At Wits University I found myself surrounded by extraordinarily bright students. Many of them had achieved brilliant academic results at school, and I often felt I had arrived there by a more unusual route — through farms, cattle ranches, workshops and agricultural colleges rather than through pure academic excellence.

I had entered dentistry almost accidentally, but once I was there I committed myself fully to it.

The course was immensely demanding. In the early years we studied zoology, botany, chemistry and physics before moving into anatomy, physiology, pathology and microbiology alongside the medical students. Under Professor Phillip Tobias we dissected cadavers from head to toe. The dental students were expected to meet exactly the same anatomical standards as the medical students.

By third and fourth year we moved increasingly into clinical work. We learned prosthetics, restorative dentistry and surgery. Patients came into the university hospital for treatment at reduced fees, and every piece of work we did was rigorously inspected and assessed.

Wits had one of the finest dental schools in the world at that time. Our qualification was internationally respected and recognised across Europe, America and elsewhere. The standards were extremely high.

University life, however, was not only work.

There was tremendous camaraderie among the students. I became involved in student activities and eventually served on the Student Dental Council for several years. Sport continued to play a major role in my life. I played rugby, cricket and water polo, mostly at second-team level, and rowed in coxed fours for a time as well.

It was during these years that I met Heather.

The beginning of our relationship happened almost by accident.

I had initially been seeing one of her friends, Shane Rourke, whose family knew my father from Pretoria days. One evening there was a social function in Pretoria at Shane’s family home, but Shane could not attend and sent Heather in her place.

That turned out to be the end of my relationship with Shane before it had even properly begun.

I remember Heather and I sitting together afterwards at a little bus shelter outside the house, talking for hours and discovering an immediate connection between us.

Heather was beautiful, intelligent and composed. She was studying teaching at the Teachers’ Training College and already showed the qualities that would later define her life. She was a natural leader and eventually became head girl of her residence. Teaching was not simply a job to her — it was a calling.

From then on we became inseparable.

Those years were full of dances, university balls, road trips and adventures with friends. Heather had a magnificent red evening dress that she wore to dances, and in those days university social life was vibrant and glamorous.

We spent holidays travelling whenever we could. Sometimes we visited my uncle’s farm in the Drakensberg with groups of friends. At other times we headed north toward Mozambique.

One of my closest friends from university days was Carl Coorsman, whose father owned the Coorsman Ice Cream business in Benoni. Carl had a Land Rover, and during vacations the three of us — Carl, Heather and I — would head up the Mozambique coast camping along remote beaches.

Those were wonderful days.

We camped in places like Inhambane and Xai-Xai, cooking over small stoves beneath makeshift awnings. Heather was wonderfully practical and domestic in camp life. She would organise our food and little kitchen area while Carl and I fished.

The Mozambique coastline in those days was still largely untouched. We fished, swam and explored empty beaches that seemed to stretch forever.

As our relationship deepened, Heather and I eventually decided to marry while I was still in my final year of dentistry.

Looking back, it seems astonishing now. I was still a student and had not yet qualified, but in those days people moved into adulthood earlier and more decisively than they often do now.

Heather had already begun teaching by then. She taught at a school in Hyde Park in Johannesburg — the same school she herself had attended as a girl. She later specialised further in remedial education.

Around that time we also travelled with her school headmaster on a holiday through Mozambique. We fished extensively and explored the coastline together. Those years before responsibility fully descended upon us were some of the freest and happiest of my life.

During university I also became closer friends with your father.

We had known each other through the dental faculty, but we became properly acquainted through the boarding house where many of us students took our meals. An old woman ran the place and for a modest fee we could eat there daily.

That was where friendships deepened.

Your father was highly regarded among us. He was quieter and less sporty than some of us because he had suffered from rheumatic fever and could not throw himself physically into things in the same way. But he was deeply intelligent and very well liked.

Even in those days he was fascinated by engineering and model engines. We often joked that he should have become an engineer rather than a dentist.

After graduating, I worked briefly at the Johannesburg Children’s Hospital as a dentist. Interestingly, several older dentists there were passionate stamp collectors, and I remember lunchtime conversations about rare stamps and dealers.

Not long afterwards, Heather and I decided to go to England.

Like many young South Africans of that generation, we wanted to experience life abroad before settling down permanently.

We flew to England aboard one of the old Lockheed Constellation aircraft operated by Trek Airways. Those planes were extraordinary things — when turbulence hit, the wings seemed almost to flap.

During the flight one of the engines began shooting flames from the exhaust. Heather was sitting by the window and became absolutely terrified. I eventually had to pull down the window blind and move her away from the sight of it.

When we arrived in Europe there was such heavy snow in London that we could not land at Heathrow and were diverted to Brussels instead.

We were freezing cold and exhausted, so we found a nearby pub and drank generous quantities of Dubonnet to warm ourselves.

Another dental friend, Gerald McKay, travelled with us.

Eventually we reached London and found accommodation in Earl’s Court, where many South Africans initially settled.

I quickly discovered that several former Wits graduates already practising in England were eager to employ fellow graduates because of the excellent reputation of the dental school. I soon secured a position in a dental practice in Hounslow West.

Heather easily found teaching work.

Those first months in London were exciting. South Africa did not yet have television, so one of the first things I did in our hotel room was order a black-and-white television set to be brought upstairs so we could experience this marvel properly.

We spent our early weeks buying essentials for our new life — linen, crockery, blankets and household goods from London department stores.

The house where we eventually lived was attached directly to the dental practice where I worked. The surgery occupied the ground floor, while our living quarters were upstairs. Behind the house was one of those long narrow English gardens stretching down toward a garage at the back.

At first I bought a small Austin from the previous owner, but before long I had saved enough money to buy something better.

I desperately wanted a Jaguar.

At the Earl’s Court Motor Show I saw the new XJ6 models and became determined to own one. I marched into the Jaguar dealership in London prepared to pay cash, but the salesman treated me with astonishing arrogance and informed me coldly that there was a waiting list.

I walked out furious.

Across the road I entered a BMW dealership instead and received completely different treatment. They were welcoming, enthusiastic and helpful.

That day I ordered my first BMW — a beautiful new 2500 model.

The car arrived at almost exactly the same time as our daughter Kim was born.

Kim’s birth was extremely difficult for Heather. She endured nearly twenty-four hours of labour in a maternity ward crowded with noisy women from Southall. It was an exhausting and traumatic experience for her.

Still, when Kim finally arrived safely, we were overjoyed.

Life in England settled into a rhythm.

We travelled constantly whenever possible. I became very confident driving in London and often collected newly arrived South Africans from Heathrow, taking them on informal tours through the city before dropping them at their destinations.

Heather and I also travelled extensively through Europe.

Because foreign currency restrictions were severe at the time, we travelled cheaply and creatively. We converted a panel van into a makeshift camper using camp stretchers, a little stove and a homemade awning attached to the rear doors.

For weeks we wandered across Europe staying in campsites recommended in camping guides.

One unforgettable journey took us high into the Swiss Alps to visit an enormous ice cave called the Eisriesenwelt after Heather’s aunt strongly recommended it.

By then Heather was heavily pregnant, yet we still climbed by cable cars and mountain paths high into the freezing alpine caves.

The local Europeans were horrified that I had brought my pregnant wife so high into the mountains.

But that was how we lived then — adventurously and perhaps sometimes foolishly.

We also discovered the Playboy Club in London through an old family acquaintance. Oddly enough, membership was inexpensive if one gambled a little, and once I won enough money playing roulette to pay for a full year’s membership.

The meals there were extraordinarily cheap for members, so Heather and I often went there simply for steak dinners while carefully ignoring the gambling.

After just over two years in England we decided to return to South Africa.

By then we had accumulated not only furniture and antiques but also an entire dental surgery worth of equipment which I purchased in England because it was vastly cheaper there.

We packed everything — the furniture, the dental equipment, the BMW and our young daughter — and sailed home aboard the Carnarvon Castle.

Returning to South Africa after England marked the beginning of an entirely new chapter of life.

We arrived back in Cape Town aboard the Carnarvon Castle, bringing with us our daughter Kim, a full dental surgery worth of equipment, a shipment of antique furniture, and my BMW, which I had purchased in England.

During my time in London I had bought a large quantity of professional dental equipment. Much of it came from Ash, one of the finest manufacturers of dental instruments at the time. I returned with extraction forceps, surgical instruments, restorative equipment and enough material to fully furnish a consulting room. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I made professionally.

Initially, through family contacts, I almost joined a dental practice in Rondebosch. I met the dentist involved and considered the offer seriously, but something about it simply did not feel right to me. Instinctively I knew I would not be happy there, so I declined the opportunity.

Soon afterwards my old university friend Francois contacted me. We had known each other from Wits and through intervarsity activities. One of the partners in his dental practice in Wynberg was leaving, and there was an opening available.

That opportunity proved decisive.

Because I already possessed a complete set of dental equipment from England, I was able to buy into the practice almost immediately. I could equip an entire surgery myself, which gave me a considerable advantage as a young dentist starting out.

So in 1970 I joined the practice in Wynberg.

At the time I had no idea that it would become such a central part of my life for decades to come.

Those early professional years were busy and demanding, but I found that dentistry suited me far better than I had once imagined.

Although I had originally dreamed of becoming a farmer, dentistry appealed to many of the same instincts in me. It required precision, patience, practical skill and attention to detail. Looking back, I think all the years spent working in my father’s factory workshops, repairing farm equipment, learning practical skills on farms, and handling tools from a young age had prepared me well for that kind of work.

I enjoyed working with my hands.

I enjoyed craftsmanship.

And dentistry, at its best, is a form of craftsmanship.

At the same time, Heather was building her own professional life in education.

Teaching was never simply a job for her — it was something she cared about deeply. Even as a young woman she had shown strong leadership qualities. She had been head girl at school and later became head woman of her residence while studying teaching.

She was devoted to children and education in a very genuine way.

Part of that influence came from her aunt Helen, who had played a significant role in education in Johannesburg and helped establish part of the prep school at St Cyprian’s. Helen was highly respected in educational circles, and Heather inherited much of that same passion and commitment.

Not long after our return to South Africa we experienced the loss of a child late in pregnancy, which was naturally a very difficult period for both of us.

In those days people often dealt with such things very differently from the way they would today. There was far less emotional support or understanding surrounding grief and loss, and people were often encouraged simply to move on quietly and continue with life.

The experience affected Heather deeply, and in many ways it shaped the course of our family life afterwards.

Despite the demands of work and family life, I continued developing many of the interests that had followed me since childhood.

My fascination with collecting deepened steadily over the years.

What had begun as collecting cigarette cards and stamps as a boy gradually evolved into a love of antiques, furniture and beautifully crafted objects.

Much of this had been influenced by our time in England. While living there, Heather and I had spent considerable time with her relative Jim in Taunton, who was both an antique dealer and an exceptionally skilled cabinet maker. Under his guidance we began acquiring carefully chosen antique pieces.

For me, the attraction was never simply ownership.

What fascinated me was workmanship.

I loved the quality of old craftsmanship — the joinery in antique furniture, the richness of old wood, the proportions and elegance of well-made pieces. There was something deeply satisfying about objects created carefully by skilled hands.

Perhaps that appreciation came partly from my grandfather’s background in carpentry and construction, and partly from growing up around engineering workshops and machinery through my father’s factory.

Whatever its origins, it remained with me throughout my life.

During these years I also stayed close to many of my university friends.

Your father remained one of those enduring friendships.

Dentistry created strong bonds between us because the training at Wits had been so demanding and intense. We had gone through years of anatomy dissections, clinical work, examinations and long hours together.

The dental faculty itself was relatively small, so everyone knew each other well.

I still remember your father working on my teeth while we were students at the dental hospital. Some of that work lasted decades afterwards, which said something about the quality of the training we received.

Wits dentistry had an international reputation at the time and maintained extremely high standards. We were trained rigorously and expected to perform at a very high level clinically and academically.

Outside academics there had also been a rich social life.

There were dances, interfaculty sports competitions, university events and endless gatherings involving students from the teachers’ training colleges and university residences.

Your father was quieter than some of us socially, but highly respected and well liked. Because of his rheumatic fever he had not been able to participate heavily in sport, but intellectually he was deeply admired.

Even then he was fascinated by engineering and model engines. Many of us felt he might easily have become an engineer rather than a dentist.

Looking back now, it amazes me how much life seemed to happen in such a short span of years.

By the time I was still a relatively young man I had already lived through wartime England, travelled across Africa into the Congo, worked on vast cattle ranches, studied agriculture, trained as a dentist, married, lived in London, travelled through Europe, become a father, and established a professional life back in South Africa.

Life moved quickly in those days.

People married younger, responsibilities arrived earlier, and adulthood seemed to come fast.

Yet all those experiences remained connected within me — the child watching the skies burn red over London during the Blitz, the young man riding horseback across Lowveld cattle farms, the student dancing with Heather at university balls, the traveller crossing Africa in a Land Rover, and the dentist beginning to build a life and practice in Wynberg.

All of them were part of the same journey.

April 01, 2026

Henk's Flying Memoirs

Henk loved nothing more than to fly planes and to collect and drive vintage cars. Here is a wonderful memoir he wrote about his flying experiences. So beautifully written.

Henk's Flying Memoirs

Late 1949 I responded to an advertisement in the local Bloemfontein newspaper for volunteers to join the S.A. Air Force Reserve—this meant being taught to fly for a reserve commitment of 10 years. Flying would not interfere with my studies and/or work as all tuition would be conducted for an hour every morning at 6 a.m. and on Saturday afternoons. My dad had learnt to fly in Holland in the closing stages of World War I—Holland was neutral so he saw no combat. I discussed my interest with him and he encouraged me to go for it.

There were 53 applicants and from these, four prospective pupil pilots were to be chosen. Firstly the 53 were medically examined and the number was reduced to 21. From these a further seven were to be chosen. The final seven were then flown to Voortrekkerhoogte for aptitude and decompression tests. After two days of intense testing and written and oral examinations, a final four were selected for pilot training. I was one of the lucky ones!

My initial training started on 11 January 1950 in the De Havilland Tiger Moth ZS-AJA—this was to last three months in which period I amassed a total of 50 flying hours. I solo-ed in 7 hours 55 minutes—an experience never to be forgotten. After a further test by a SAAF instructor I was declared proficient enough to attend a month's training course converting on Harvards at Central Flying School in Dunnottar. This was an intense instruction course in which I collected a further 35 flying hours on Harvards, solo-ing in 5 hours 40 minutes.

After this course it was back for further instruction on Harvards for 12 months in Bloemfontein. This period was quite uneventful except for one incident that rattled me. I was scheduled to carry out aerobatics one particular morning—the sky was overcast and a typical Highveld thunderstorm was threatening. The instructor told me I could go up and go through an opening in the cloud formation, but to watch it, to come down when it closed up.

I executed a roll-off-the-top—this is a half loop, being upside down on the top of the loop and then half rolling to a normal upright position. This manoeuvre is to be smoothly carried out because one is close to stalling the aircraft. Then all hell broke loose as the thunder, lightning and hail came crashing down on me as I was still in the inverted position. It scared the hell out of me resulting in my aircraft stalling and going into a spin.

To say I was confused is putting it mildly. Instinctively I pulled back on the joy stick which only aggravated matters—by now the Harvard was spinning merrily down, no let up in hail and lightning. Then good training came to the fore and I performed the standard procedure of getting out of a spin—stick forward and opposite rudder, and eased out of the spin. I was in full control again, albeit shaken up, as I cleared the clouds and could see the ground again!

But the saga did not end there. My compass had gone awry so I couldn't orientate myself. It was still raining heavily, visibility not good and I couldn't recognise any salient points. But then I saw a soft glow, obviously the sun, so now I thought I knew where East was. Then I crossed a railway line and followed it because sooner or later I would pass a siding or station indicating where I should be. After all, I was South of the aerodrome. But time marched on and still no known point, bearing in mind visibility was poor.

Suddenly I saw a village looming ahead and following the railway line could now determine where I was—Trompsburg! It did not make sense, as I had flown East of the sun so I should have reached Bloemfontein! Then it dawned on me that it wasn't the sun in the East, but the reflection of the sun through rain clouds in the West. I had been flying on a 180 degree reciprocal! I turned around immediately and now flew Northwards to Bloemfontein where my instructor was anxiously awaiting his pupil and Harvard—he was more concerned about his aeroplane than his pupil! All in all, it was an excellent learning curve.

The 12-month period now consisted of aerobatics, instrument flying, night flying, formation and navigation. Then in May 1951 I went up to Central Flying School for my final wings course for a further 35 hours, culminating in receiving the covetted wings badge and 2nd Lieutenant pip. My parents came up for the parade. I was now a fully fledged officer of the SAAF, and posted to 8 Squadron, Bloemfontein.

The general flying area at that time was 10 miles (16 km) to the West of Bloemfontein. My parents lived on a plot alongside the main road to Kimberley. Whenever I finished my exercises I would do a low level flypast and waggle my wings at them. As I passed over their house I saw a stationary bus offloading some passengers and carried on at low level to give them a treat—apparently some people were highly upset. The bus driver took the time of day as well as my registration number painted on the underside of the wing.

When I went up to Dunnottar for the wings parade, I was called to the Commandant and given a dressing down for illegal low flying and gated for the duration of the month. My parents came up to Dunnottar for my 21st birthday where a party had been arranged for me. My dad went to see the Commandant to see if I could be released for the Saturday evening—no deal! It was a punishment for illegal low flying and was to remain as such.

In the meantime I befriended the guard at the gate and told him my story of woe—he was most sympathetic. For two bottles of beer he would look the other way, furthermore I was to be back by midnight because after that the gate would be closed. I had a wonderful birthday bash in Johannesburg!

My military flying with 8 Squadron was confined to Saturday afternoons only—this worked well as it did not encroach on my other recreational activities. In summer I volunteered for one early morning 5 a.m. met. flight per week—this was most enjoyable as you climbed up to 20 000 feet (6100 metres), taking and noting pressure and temperature readings. You were allowed an hour for this and generally you had about 20 minutes left before returning to the aerodrome.

On this particular day after Christmas Day, I carried out one loop after the other, from 20 000 to 7 000 feet. Now the Harvard when looping, makes an awful din when upside down, it is a characteristic of the machine. In my noisy descent over Bloemfontein, a lot of good folk were highly upset and phoned Control who promptly ordered me to stop messing around so early and to come down. The editor of one of the local newspapers had something to say too, but it all blew over quietly.

On another occasion returning from a met. flight, I flew over Mazelspoort where my folks were holidaying. They were standing on the weir across the river with some friends where I did a low level pass at 200 feet (60 metres) and executed a victory roll directly over them. Mom apparently had pups whilst dad stood there very proud to see his son doing such a low level roll—no doubt reminding him of his own youth!

I applied for a private pilot licence and because of my SAAF training, obtained it as a mere formality. My licence was for any single engine aircraft not exceeding the weight of a Harvard. No single engined aircraft was heavier so I had an open licence to fly anything—all that was required was a familiarization flight with an instructor. After 6 years of squadron flying, the then Minister of Defence, F.C. Erasmus, shut down all reserve flying squadrons so my 10-year commitment was cancelled, although I still had 4 years to go—that was the end of my military flying. I also missed an opportunity to convert to De Havilland Vampire Jet fighters.

I had one nasty experience during my training period at Dunnottar. I was told to practise short take offs. A short take off consists of the aircraft turning into wind, brakes on and throttle fully open—releasing brakes, flaps fully down and as soon as the aircraft lifts off, you pull back the stick and climb away steeply, the aircraft is barely flying but hanging onto a screaming engine. At 150 feet (45 metres) the engine cut out. You have no flying speed so the aircraft literally fell to the ground. It was over in seconds and I hit the ground, shearing a wing off and leaving a mangled wreckage for the rest. The ambulance was there in minutes, I was examined and declared O.K. I was taken up immediately again with an instructor to clear up any psychological after-effects—there were none!

After my military flying had ended, I now switched over to private civilian flying. Here I was indeed fortunate because of my profession as an engineer. I could fly to most building sites—this enabled me to build up hours and further experience. I hired aircraft for this purpose and could write it off as tax relief. In 1985 I bought a half share in a Cessna 182 Skylane and enjoyed this machine until I retired from my work as well as flying. I sold my share as part-owner and we retired to Cape Town. To have kept up my licence would have cost too much. I had a lot to be thankful for, having piloted for 44 years. I still keep an active interest in all aspects of flying—I realize that progress cannot be kept at bay—in the early fifties flying was much more relaxed and less regulated. It was just so much more fun then.


TOTAL NUMBER OF HOURS FLOWN: 2482 HOURS 15 MINUTES ENDED FLYING: NOV. 12th 1992


Aircraft flown as pilot in command:

  • Tiger Moth
  • Harvard
  • Piper Cub
  • Piper Cruiser
  • Beechcraft Bonanza
  • Piper Tripacer
  • Aeronca Chief
  • Piper Vagabond
  • Mooney
  • Piper Colt
  • Piper Supercub
  • Piper Cherokees 140, 180, 235
  • Cessnas 150, 172, 182
  • Beechcraft Musketeer
  • Beechcraft Sundowner
  • Piper Tomahawk (20 total aircraft types)


Vintage/Classic Cars:

  • 1937 Chevrolet Dicky Seat
  • 1961 Jaguar MK 2 3.8 litre
  • 1938 Buick Roadmaster
  • 1947 Bentley MRK VI
  • 1948 Studebaker Champion
  • 1953 Citroen Light Fifteen
  • 1957 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud I
  • 1963 Jaguar MK 2 3.4 litre
  • 1967 MGB Roadster
  • 1972 Rolls Royce Shadow I 


April 10, 2012

Matt's interview with Mike about the war (A school project)

Context and background information about my interviewee 

Mike Donnelly, who is my grandfather, was born in the mid 1930’s in London. He was a young teenager at the time when the Second World War broke out.

He lived in a semi-rural, medium sized neighbourhood about 5 miles outside of the centre of London. He was used to hearing the sounds of thousands of bomber planes fly over his house on their way to Germany. He grew up with a large military presence in his neighbourhood and was used to seeing armed soldiers in his road.

Mike’s father luckily did not have to enlist in the armed services as was the Chief Metallurgist at a factory a few miles away, in an area called Acton. The factory produced essential parts for spitfires (fighter planes), ammunition, weapons, and even tanks. His father received an MBE award for the part he played in helping the war effort and was looked at with great respect after the war.

At home, the Donnelly family built an air raid shelter which they often had to climb into when German planes flew above London. At school, there was also an air raid shelter which the students had to climb into. Grandpa Mike said that although it was terrifying, it was also exciting to the young boys as they did not really understand the severity of it all. The children at the school also had to come to school with gas masks in their backpacks. None of the teachers at Mike’s school were male, because all of them were forced to enlist the army.

Unfortunately, Mike and his family lost many of their friends in the war. Two of Mike’s neighbours that were brothers had been killed in the space of a week. They were both 18. Many of Mike’s uncles were involved in the armed forces, and all took part in the North African Campaign in 1940 to 1943.

Unlike many others, Mike’s best memory of the war was that he and his family were together, unlike all his friends in his neighbourhood and school.

In the centre of London, many of Mike’s family-friends’ houses had been destroyed by bombs. When the war ended, there was a celebratory party thrown in Mike’s neighbourhood. Excluding all the young boys, Mike’s father was one of a very small number of men to attend because they had all been killed during the war.

When the war ended in 1945, Mike and his family moved to South Africa where he spent the rest of his young life.


The interview with Mike Donnelly


1. What was it like growing up in the time of the war?

It was terrible. I was very young at the time but was still very aware of most of the fathers being away and later the noise of thousands of bomber raids going over our house on the way to Germany. During the blitz I could see the glow of fires against the sky over London.


2. Did the war affect your daily life at school?

We were subjected to air raids and had to take our gas masks to school every day. Often, during air raids, we would go into air raid shelters and classes would stop until the all clear. We were terrified but at the same time quite excited, not really understanding the severity of everything.


3. What was your first memory of the war?

My parents building an Anderson Air Raid Shelter, which was erected in our dining room and having to go into it during air raids that happened when I was at home.


4. Do you think that if you didn’t grow up with the war, your views on life would be different?

Yes. The war obviously made a deep impression on all of us children. We were very conscious of fathers and sons not returning to their families and the heartache that brought.


5. Did your family do anything to help the war effort?

Yes. My father was the chief metallurgist at a factory, in Acton, manufacturing essential war materials. He went regularly into London during the blitz. He was subsequently decorated for his work during the war with an MBE.


6. What were some of your best and worst memories during the time of the war?

The best memory was that, unlike many others, we were able to be together as a family due to my father not having to do active service because of his vital work making essential parts for spitfires, other aircrafts, and even tanks.

My worst memory is when our neighbour, Granny Kitchen as we called her, lost both her sons within a week. One was a tail gunner in a Lancaster Bomber and the other son was lost in an Atlantic convoy.


7. Was anyone from your family or anyone from the area where you lived at the time in the armed forces?

Most of our neighbours had fathers and sons away fighting in the war. In addition, all my South African uncles were enlisted in the army and were involved in the North African campaign.


8. After the war, how long did it take for things to go back to normal?

Shortly after the war my father was sent back to South Africa to start a subsidiary factory in Boksburg North. I went to school in Cape Town at St. George’s and the rest of my young life was spent in South Africa. I was therefore not aware of how it affected the people of England and especially those who had lost their homes to bombs or had lost loved ones.


9. Did you know anyone who was injured or killed in the war? If so, how did that affect you?

As mentioned previously, I knew my neighbour’s sons even though they were much older than I was, but I remember them showing me their wonderful Hornby Train Set and was very sad when neither of them returned from the war. I also remember their mother weeping with my mother on many occasions.

At the end of the war our neighbourhood had a celebratory party and everyone from the neighbourhood attended. I remember, besides for me and all the other young boys, my father was one of a few men to attend as all the others had been killed during the war.


How did you enjoy being involved in the recording of “Oral History”?

I greatly enjoyed participating in your recording of “Oral History”. I enjoyed it because it allowed me to share not only facts about World War Two, but also my personal experience, emotions and memories. I find the whole recording of our conversation so interesting because it is so different to anything that I would have done at school. I like the fact that my grandson (the interviewer) can now better understand the way I grew up during the time of the Second World War. I also think it’s important to record as many people’s history that were involved in historical events, so they can be studied for historical research, and so that their personal history won’t be forgotten when they die.


October 14, 2010

Poppa George and Nana Win (Gramp's parents)

My Gramps was one of the most formative figures in my life and I hero worshipped him as a kid. He was this larger than life person who openly showed this love and wherever he went, there was laughter. I wanted to be just like him when I grew up. Because my Gramps was so special to me, I am very interested to know more about his parents who helped make him into the person he became. Here are some facts, photos and some memories.

Read biographical details about Poppa George (George Sorrell) and Nana Win (Winifred Webber)









Mum's Memories of Nana Win and Poppa George

My paternal grandparents used to come and spend every Christmas with us and we would travel up to London to meet them and then we would all go to a pantomime or show. We would walk down Oxford Street on the way to the theatre, looking at the brightly decorated shops. One evening I grabbed grandpa’s hand to show him something special only to find it was not grandpa’s hand but a stranger’s. I can still remember feeling so totally mortified! It’s strange how something so unimportant can affect one for so long!

Nana Win and Poppa George lived in Rustington close to the beach. The beach was covered in pebbles and when we went down to swim, we had to wear rubber slippers into the water to protect our feet. Poppa George had been a policeman but in his retirement he spent all his time in his garden where he grew the most amazing vegetables.

When we eventually had our first car, fondly known as Puffing Bertha because of the difficulty she had going up hills, we used to go down to see Nana and Poppa about once a month. I was horribly car sick so was dosed up with something called avomine. Avomine could only be bought on prescription if it was to be used by a human but if Mum told the pharmacist it was for the dog, she could get it without bothering to go to the doctor first. It made me incredibly sleepy and I would sleep the whole way to Rustington (about 90 minutes), yawn my way through the day, and then sleep all the way home again!

When we were with Nana and Poppa we would always go and help pick fresh vegetables for lunch and then sit and shuck the peas (eating more than we put in the bowl). I can also remember the tomatoes growing in the glass green house had so much flavour and were so sweet. Poppa loved yellow flowers because they reminded him of sunshine so the garden was full of marigolds etc. There was a putting hole in the centre of the lawn and we would spend hours trying to get a hole in one. Dad used to complain about Poppa George and get irritated with certain things he did so it highly amused me as Dad himself got older, that he became more and more like his own father. Probably something that happens to most of us!


Some Background Information from Trish

Poppa George Frederick Sorrell was a policeman in Oxford and then London.  During the war he went back to the police in Tolworth.   He’d retired from the police in his 40s and worked for the AA until the war.  He married Win in 1916.

George’s parents were Frederick Sorrell and Annie Emma Rolls.  Frederick was superintendent and deputy chief constable of Oxfordshire.  Dad did not see much of his grandfather but saw more of his grandmother who, like Nana Win, was very round.

Win’s parents ran a grocer’s shop in Colchester.  Gramps (Tony) used to help in the shop and sold 5 Woodbine cigarettes for 1/2penny.  Her father was a lovely man and her mother was small and birdlike.  He died first and she lived with Win and George at Raeburn Ave until the war when she went to live with a spinster niece in Colchester.  They had 3 kids, Nancy, Win and Frank.


Trish's memories

I remember they always came for Xmas, as well as Auntie Alice,  which meant we were very squished in the small house. I remember sharing Mum’s single bed with her. One year she was very distressed because a freak snowstorm just after Xmas meant all “the oldies” had to stay an extra day or two because public transport shut down.

On Xmas Eve Nana and Poppa helped us write our list of wishes for Father Christmas (never known as Santa in our day) which we then put on the fire so the ashes  would be carried up the chimney ready for his arrival. It was a Xmas day tradition that we had lunch in the middle of the day so Mum was up early putting the turkey in the oven.

Jill and I couldn’t hurry the oldies enough till they were all ready to open presents. Then Poppa always took us for a walk round the neighbourhood (I’m sure to get us out of Mum’s way as she cooked) and we would rate all the gardens we passed on a score of 1-10! After plenty of wine and port with the meal and listening to the Queen’s annual address all the adults would then fall asleep in the pm which Jill and I found very boring!

It was Nana and Poppa who persuaded Mum and Dad to let us have a dog for Xmas. However we were convinced our gift was a grocery store set and we’d even decided who was to be shopkeeper/purchaser first. We were told that because it was in such a big box we would get it Xmas eve. Instead Dad walked in the room with Chippy in his coat pocket she was so tiny. That Xmas we thought she was asleep behind Nan’s feet but really she was chewing a hole in the back of her brand new slippers!

I adored my grandparents and they certainly adored us back. Dad says he was almost embarrassingly adored by Poppa as his only son, so he was relieved when that devotion was transferred to us after our birth. Poppa was rarely without his beloved pipe. I remember him carrying us piggyback to and from the beach.

They had a wooden beach hut there where we could change and store lawn chairs, toys etc.  I remember crabbing in the rock pools at low tide. The waves could get quite rough at high tide and then there was no sand on the beach but we could play cricket on the grassy area behind the beach. I don’t remember either grandparent actually coming in the water with us. Nana was a large woman and very soft to cuddle up to as we snuggled under home knit woolly blankets on the couch to watch TV. She taught me to knit and I can still remember the mantra of needle through, wool over, pull the needle back and push the wool off!

They never drove or owned a car so we would walk to the beach but Poppa insisted on lunch being the main meal of the day, at exactly 1pm so we had to come back to the house then and return to the beach afterwards. Nana apparently never challenged him. Dad remembers dessert was always stewed apple and custard! She could be brusque at times and I  remember the resentment I felt at being given little sympathy after being stung by a wasp.

They both played bridge, although Nana confessed to me that she thought she was the better player so she didn’t always want to partner George! She continued to play until her death and considered that walking to and from the club and the game itself kept her body and brain active. However she was not a particularly physical woman and I don’t remember her taking an active role in the garden. Poppa lived in his garden. It was a double sized lot so lots of room for his veggies. We helped dig up potatoes, squish butterfly eggs on his cabbages, and loved the tiny tomatoes in his greenhouse. He had a shed full of tobacco boxes he used to store nails, odd pieces of string, etc. Nana was sure he also had money hidden in them too, so I hope somebody checked after he died. He always said thieves wouldn’t find valuables if they were hidden in full view in places such as the toes of slippers. Apparently they left money in tins under the coal in the fireplace too! They had a huge row of dahlias which we got to deadhead during our visits. We went once a month once we got the car. There was a sunroom along the back of the house and a huge hydrangea plant by the back door where Nana would empty the tealeaves from the pot (no tea bags for her!) She said the acid in the leaves turned the flowers pink or blue, I don’t remember which!

Poppa died first. He died very peacefully in his sleep  but on autopsy was found to have very severe cardiac disease. He never complained of chest pain and was digging in his garden till he died. Nana then moved into a 6plex apartment complex until her death. Again she was chatting to a neighbor in the morning and appeared fine. Jill and I didn’t go to either funeral and I have no idea where they were buried, or more likely their ashes were scattered.

They had false teeth which they took out at night and left in a jar in the kitchen, much to Jill and my amusement. Poppa also took senna pod daily, so there was a glass of brownish liquid on the kitchen window sill with the pod in it. I remember sitting on his lap at breakfast as a little kid. He would cut his toast into tiny squares then turn his head away as he lifted each piece, saying he’d heard a little bird, and I’d eat his toast out of his fingers before he turned back.

While Nana was widowed I spent a week alone with her over the summer holidays (Jill was already working by then).  She arranged day trips to the vaudeville type theatre in Worthing, and we had a wonderful time together. She died shortly after I started at physio school, but I remember her excitement when I met a promising young guy at one of my first student dances. She was looking forward to updates!

As a young woman she and her sister Nancy ran a high class hat shop. Poppa actually dated Nancy before Win. He called them thunder and lightning as Win was solid and calm whereas Nancy was highly strung and slimmer. He was a policeman in Tooting Bec South London when Dad was born. He had severe asthma as a baby and Nana told me of exhausting times when she sat up all night with him in a steamy bathroom to help his breathing. At one point she thought he’d died and she says she tossed him onto the bed thinking she was almost relieved that finally she could get some sleep, when he started crying again obviously still alive!

They owned the house at 175  Raeburn Ave that Jill and I grew up in. I don’t know if they gave or sold it to Mum and Dad after the war when they moved to Rustington. No wonder we knew all the families in the street so well as Dad had lived amongst them for much of his childhood. People didn’t move much then.

Although both Nana and Poppa had siblings I never remember meeting or hearing about any extended family on the Sorrell side. I know George’s father was also a policemen, and they teased that there was also a gypsy Jack Sorrell in the area. Fact or fiction I have no idea!


Story written by Poppa George

click to enlarge



Related

October 13, 2010

A tribute to Auntie Lottie (1878 - 1984)

Auntie Lottie (Gran's dad's sister) was an important part of Gran and Gramp's life and that of mum. She used to spend Christmases with the Sorrells and Gran was very close to her and gave her much support as she grew older.

"Auntie Lottie" was a name I can remember hearing a lot when I was young and that is not suprising as she was quite a remarkable lady. Not least because she lived to 105 years old. She was never married which maybe partly explains it!  Research has shown that spinsters tend to outlive married women and married men tend to outlive life long bachelors.

 I got to meet Auntie Lottie when we visited England when I was 6 years old and there are some lovely photos below of the whole family together.

Here is some information about Auntie Lottie including mum's account and a eulogy.





Mum's memories of Auntie Lottie

Auntie Lottie, who was Charles’ sister, did play a role in our lives.  She was a spinster and lived in Hammersmith with another lady called Auntie Mabs who was a friend from church.   Lottie left school at the age of 12 but was always determined to make her own way in the world and did a number of small jobs before joining Harrods where she became the manager of the restaurant and worked there throughout the war.

When she turned 100 she received a huge bouquet of flowers from Mohamed Al-Fayed the current owner.  Lottie never married (although there was talk of a romance with a curate) but due to so many young men dying in the 1914 – 18 war there were a large number of spinsters in her generation.

Lottie was an amazing lady and was still visiting the sick through her church well into her 80’s and 90’s and despite her fingers being completely misshapen due to arthritis; she continued to knit vests for orphan children.  I doubt if any baby actually wore the vests – they were full of holes – but she never gave in.

She was widely read and always had comments on the latest world situation and current state of politics.  She held very strong opinions and supported “votes for women” and was active as a volunteer Red Cross nurse during the 1st world war.  She held strong Christian views and often found herself at odds with the vicar or the church on some point of principle and was always convinced that she was right!


Trish's Account

Lottie who worked at Harrod’s, lived at home and helped in the pub although she never drank a sip of alcohol in her life, not even the glass of champagne on her 100th birthday. Lottie never married but was very fond of a curate. She said there were a very limited number of young men in her generation because of all the deaths in WW1, the Boer and Crimea wars.

She lived with her mother and when Charles had the pub they lived in the flat above it, where their mother died in 1914. Although Lottie worked at Harrod’s she wanted to own her own business. Charles (Gran's dad) set her up in an empty store next to his pub where she sold stationary and books and had a lending library. She met Mabel (Mabs) White through church and they took holidays and religious retreats together. After WW2 they rented a house together in Highgate after Lottie sold the business at age 70.


Auntie Lottie’s Eulogy

1878 –1984

Charlotte Ellen Bishop (usually known as Lottie) was born on the 21st June 1878 and so would have been 106 years of age had she lived for another six weeks. She was born in London, to working parents, the youngest and only girl in a family of five.

She had a tough physical constitution and an abundant supply of energy; she was determined to make her way in the world. After leaving school, at about 12 years of age, she did a number of small jobs before joining the staff of Harrod’s Departmental Store where she began to rise to fame under the guidance of the Burbridge family.

When the restaurant was opened, Lottie became the manageress and enjoyed a very happy period of her life. She maintained life long friendships with many of the “girls” on her staff and was saddened, as these links were broken 50 and 60 years later, as she outlived them all.

Tales of her time at Harrods are legion and it is evident that, although days were then hard for working people, there was a lot of true happiness. As an example, on the “Relief of Mafeking” night, the whole restaurant went wild and dancing on the tables included the astonished waitresses. Sir William Burbridge was not amused and sacked all concerned the next morning. It was only the pleading and cajoling of Lottie which saved their jobs.

Lottie left Harrods in 1917 to set up a stationers business where she was to remain for 33 years until she retired in 1950. The spent the first 12 years of her retirement on the Holly Lodge Estate at Highgate and then, at the age of 84, went to Palmers Green where she spent the last 22 years of her life.

The stationers business in Highgate was well known. Run on old fashioned principles, highly polished and much dusted, nothing was too much trouble to satisfy customers; many of whom came as much for a chat as for a packet of envelopes. Lottie had a great capacity for making lasting friendships and many of her friends of later years were first met as customers in her shop.

She could have been called “old fashioned” but she was always abreast of the day’s news and thinking and was fortunate in that her mental capacity was retained until she lapsed into unconsciousness at the end of her life.

Of very strong opinions, she supported “votes for women” and was an active volunteer Red Cross nurse during the 1914 – 18 war during the course of which she again made many lasting friendships.

Her firmly held Christian views were a tower of strength to her throughout her life but, when she found herself at odds with her Church or vicar on some point of principle, she was apt to conclude that only she was right.

She was a great supporter of the “family” and a lover of children who all responded to her. She never married, implying that this was due to the carnage of the 1914-18 war.

The period of her life from 1963 onwards was spent living entirely independently. For her the so called “Welfare State” was akin to the “Poor Law” of her childhood and was to be avoided at all costs. She was over 100 years of age before the first “home help” was allowed in and, even then, they were never encouraged to do very much.

She enjoyed her later life seeing her many friends and, when her mobility became poor (a fact she never admitted) it was quite astonishing the number of folk of all ages who would make their way to Palmers Green for a cup of tea and a chat.

A tough, strong minded lady who did much for others during the active part of her life, she enjoyed the friendships forged in earlier days during her later years.

October 13, 1990

Jill Donnelly (Mum)



Biographical details



Memories (Written by Jill in 2010)


 I was born on the 26th February 1947 during one of the worst winters in decades. There was thick snow on the ground and my mother had to get a neighbour to drive her to hospital as the Sorrell’s did not own a car. When Dad eventually made it to the hospital (men did not attend childbirth in those days) he was not impressed with his first daughter and was overheard saying “she looks like a monkey” as I was covered in dark hair. The nursing staff was horrified and promptly banished him.

I remember very little of my early years and have no recollection of Trish arriving on the scene. However I only discovered, a few years ago, that because Mum was so ill after Trish’s delivery, I was sent away for several months to live with my paternal grandparents, Nana Win and Poppa George. Mum did tell me that I did not recognise them when I was eventually returned which devastated her.

Our early years were spent in Raeburn Avenue in what was my grandparent’s house. It was typical of the time – a semi detached with a communal driveway and long narrow garden at the back. I remember a huge oak tree on the verge but when I returned for a trip down memory lane many years later, the tree did not seem to be nearly as large as I had visualised! Our neighbours, the Chamberlains, had two boys of a similar age. I was always removing my clothes and there were often threats that some of the photographic evidence would be produced at my 21st birthday. That is probably why I left England before it could happen! Opposite our house lived Malcolm and Louise Hyde. Obviously Malcolm did not earn sufficient money to keep his family because the milkman (and others I believe) used to disappear into the house with Louise for several hours when it came time for their bills to be paid.

Very few mothers worked in those days and money was always tight. Mum seldom had new clothes but had a wealthy “friend” who took delight in selling her caste offs. Dad was always upset when Joan had been to visit with her bulging suitcases but we all thought it was fun as Mum tried on the different outfits. Had it not been for Joan I doubt Mum would have had any new clothes at all.

There was a large municipal swimming pool close to our house and we went there often in the summer. It was a 20 minute walk to the local train station which was surrounded by recreation playing fields and was known as the “rec”. In those days children could cycle there and play soccer, cricket and tennis etc. with no fear of being accosted. We walked to school from the age of 5 or 6.

We only had one dog during my childhood years – Chippy, short for chipolata sausage. We had guinea pigs too but I was allergic to them and every time I touched them I would come out with huge welts over my arms and my eyes would stream. We belonged to the local pet club who had monthly meetings. We would all take our pets along and prizes would be awarded for the best in each class. We won a prize for our guinea pig called Monty. As soon as I walked into the hall I would start sneezing and by the time the evening ended I could hardly breathe. There were always raffles too and I won my first (and only) first prize – an enormous cabbage!

My paternal grandparents used to come and spend every Christmas with us and we would travel up to London to meet them and then we would all go to a pantomime or show. We would walk down Oxford Street on the way to the theatre, looking at the brightly decorated shops. One evening I grabbed grandpa’s hand to show him something special only to find it was not grandpa’s hand but a stranger’s. I can still remember feeling so totally mortified! It’s strange how something so unimportant can affect one for so long!

Nana Win and Poppa George lived in Rustington close to the beach. The beach was covered in pebbles and when we went down to swim, we had to wear rubber slippers into the water to protect our feet. Poppa George had been a policeman but in his retirement he spent all his time in his garden where he grew the most amazing vegetables. When we eventually had our first car, fondly known as Puffing Bertha because of the difficulty she had going up hills, we used to go down to see Nana and Poppa about once a month. I was horribly car sick so was dosed up with something called avomine. Avomine could only be bought on prescription if it was to be used by a human but if Mum told the pharmacist it was for the dog, she could get it without bothering to go to the doctor first. It made me incredibly sleepy and I would sleep the whole way to Rustington (about 90 minutes), yawn my way through the day, and then sleep all the way home again! When we were with Nana and Poppa we would always go and help pick fresh vegetables for lunch and then sit and shuck the peas (eating more than we put in the bowl). I can also remember the tomatoes growing in the glass green house had so much flavour and were so sweet. Poppa loved yellow flowers because they reminded him of sunshine so the garden was full of marigolds etc. There was a putting hole in the centre of the lawn and we would spend hours trying to get a hole in one. Dad used to complain about Poppa George and get irritated with certain things he did so it highly amused me as Dad himself got older, that he became more and more like his own father. Probably something that happens to most of us!

I hardly remember my maternal grandfather, Charles Bishop because he died when I was six. He was always a remote and cold figure. However we must have been to visit because to get there we caught a bus to Kingston and got off opposite the market which was always loud, and busy. Right at the bus stop was a funeral parlour with a huge window full of angels and grave stones. I honestly believed this was heaven and was where we would all go when we died. I did think God could have chosen a quieter spot especially as the market stall holders all shouted non stop trying to sell their wares! Auntie Lottie, who was Charles’ sister, did play a role in our lives. She was a spinster and lived in Hammersmith with another lady called Auntie Mabs who was a friend from church. Lottie left school at the age of 12 but was always determined to make her own way in the world and did a number of small jobs before joining Harrods where she became the manager of the restaurant and worked there throughout the war. When she turned 100 she received a huge bouquet of flowers from Mohamed Al-Fayed the current owner. Lottie never married (although there was talk of a romance with a curate) but due to so many young men dying in the 1914 – 18 war there were a large number of spinsters in her generation. Lottie was an amazing lady and was still visiting the sick through her church well into her 80’s and 90’s and despite her fingers being completely misshapen due to arthritis; she continued to knit vests for orphan children. I doubt if any baby actually wore the vests – they were full of holes – but she never gave in. She was widely read and always had comments on the latest world situation and current state of politics. She held very strong opinions and supported “votes for women” and was active as a volunteer Red Cross nurse during the 1st world war. She held strong Christian views and often found herself at odds with the vicar or the church on some point of principle and was always convinced that she was right!

I went to Grand Avenue Primary School. I had one special friend, Philipa Wiggins who lived close by but she left to go and live in Ireland. I wasn’t a very popular child and used to steal money out of Mum’s handbag to buy chocolate to give to some of the other girls hoping to buy their friendship. It was while at Grand Avenue that I fell and knocked out both my front teeth and was rushed to hospital. When Dad came and saw me he burst into tears because I looked so awful. The only other time I remember him crying when I was a child was during Winston Churchill’s funeral. In later years, of course, he cried frequently! My “gappy” smile made me very self conscious and had it been left to the National Health Service, I would have had to wait until I was 16 before I was eligible for a crown. As it was Dad paid private dental fees but I still lived without a front tooth for about 5 years. Otherwise I don’t have many memories of primary school except that I was always being told that unless I pulled up my socks and did better, Trish would pass and I would fail. This did nothing to make me love my sister more but did spur me on to pass the Eleven Plus and gain me entrance to Wimbledon County Grammar School. In fact it would have been better had I failed because I hated all the Latin, physics and chemistry etc. which were on the syllabus and would have been far happier at the less academic secondary modern where I could have taken typing, shorthand and bookkeeping. There were normally three classes in each grade in the high school but because I was born during a boom post war year, we had an extra class (the lowest of the low students as we were frequently told) and I was always in this class called 1X, 2X etc. I honestly hated every second of my time there and could not wait to leave immediately after taking my final GCSE at the age of just over 16.

While we lived in Raeburn Avenue we had a great friend, Tricia Carpenter, who lived next door but one. She lived in a larger house than ours with her two brothers and very elderly parents (or so they seemed to me then). We spent hours and hours making hobby horses which we then rode over complicated jumps we created in Tricia’s garden and had our own gymkhanas. I was also a Brownie and later a Girl Guide and went to camp every year. Mum and Dad used to go away for a week on their own and Nana and Poppa would come to look after Trish and me. I can still see Mum and Dad walking back from the bus stop, hand in hand, brown and looking happy after their break away. It was during these years that Auntie Alice, who had brought up Mum, moved in with us as she was going senile. That was a terrible time as Alice would accuse us all of taking her money and she would get up at night, put on all her clothes (including 6 pairs of bloomers) and go out into the street and try to run away. Eventually she had to go into a home and at one she was treated roughly and ended up with bruises on her arms and Mum, who felt so guilty about leaving her, had a breakdown from the stress.

Dad was always known as a strict disciplinarian and half the neighbourhood children were scared of him because their parents would warn them that unless they behaved they would be sent to Uncle Tony! One vivid memory is when I was accused of engraving my name on the newly painted window sill in the lounge. I was most definitely not responsible but as the perpetrator had even written the “J” the wrong way round (as I did) I was accused and no amount of crying would make Dad see anything other than my guilt. It was years and years later, when we were both adults, that Trish admitted it had been her. I have never quite forgiven her for it either!

According to my Mother, my Father was quite normal when he went away to war but returned a complete tidiness freak. Despite the house being small, we hardly used the formal lounge and days would go by with no-one going into it. However Dad had to go in and check it every evening when he returned from work and ensure the cushions were plumped. We had to tidy up all our toys before he returned home and I can remember how distressed he would get when Trish, as a teenager, came home for the weekend from Physio College and did her washing. To ensure it would be dry before she left to go back on Sunday night, she would drape it all over the central heating radiators and Dad would rant and rave about having to live in an “east end tenement slum”.

I cannot remember in what year but we moved to Elgar Avenue where we had a larger house with an extra bedroom. We managed family holidays to Devon and Cornwall for two weeks each year and surfed using heavy wooden surf boards. We had a spending allowance which covered two Cornish ice creams a day. We could eat them both in the morning if we wanted to but then that was it for the day and you went without in the afternoon! We usually went for one knickerbocker glory too. These were enormous concoctions made with jelly, fruit and ice cream. We always stayed in family hotels which included all meals so Mum had a complete break. I shall never forget the one night when we were given whitebait. I took one look at these tiny fish, heads, eyes etc. all still on and being unable to take a single bite. Dad said that as I had ordered them I had to eat them or go hungry. I ended up leaving the table in tears and had no supper! One of the nicest hotels we stayed at was Treharock Manor. There were peacocks wandering around and we would try and collect the males’ tail feathers. They served afternoon tea at 4 p.m. and if we were back from the beach in time, we could indulge in tiny iced cakes. Neighbours, Peggy and Chris Nightingale and their boys, Roger and Christopher, joined us on several of these holidays and we would all leave at the crack of dawn and have picnic breakfasts en route. It took 8 hours or more to get there in those days – no freeways and motorways then!

Unlike Sammy and Matthew, I cannot remember ever going for a “sleep over” as a child and we certainly did not go out for supper or have “take aways”. Mum and Dad played table tennis once a week at the local church hall but otherwise were always around. As a young teenager, our social life revolved around the church youth club. We lived close to both a Congregational and an Anglican church and, depending on which one had the best looking boys, that would be the one I went to on a Sunday. I remember fancying a guy called Alan. He was probably 20 to my 14 and he had his own car which he washed every Saturday morning. I therefore walked to Tolworth shops (which was quite a long way) every single weekend in the hope of seeing him cleaning the car so I could stop and chat. He took me on my first ever date to see Gigi and I thought I was in heaven.

I had a Saturday morning and holiday job at Canning’s Book Shop which I enjoyed – mainly because it was where I met Richard and fell in love for the first time! We joined the Thames Ditton Rowing Club and spent most weekends there. Richard rowed and I punted and we had great fun at the dances that were held nearly every weekend at one of the rowing clubs along the Thames. There were regular regattas and a wonderful camaraderie. The Henley Regatta was the most special event in the year and everyone dressed to the nines.

After 3 years Richard and I broke up and I then started dating Les who was considerably older than I was. He was devoted to his mother and always the perfect gentleman (I am now pretty sure he was gay!) Les worked for Soldier Magazine as a professional photographer and therefore travelled widely visiting troops all over the world. He was a keen sailor and we often went to the Isle of White with his housemate and his girlfriend who was also much younger. Ingrid and I had a lot of fun on these weekends. Ingrid’s mother owned a bakery where they made the most delectable things and I started working there on a Saturday morning to make some extra cash. It also meant I was given huge boxes of left over Danish pastries when the shop closed at 1 pm. No Sunday trading in those days.

I started work Shell International in September 1963. I had applied to BP, Shell International and the Bank of England. My first ever interview at BP was a disaster. I walked in the door, wearing a large hat and looking terribly smart only to trip and fall over, loosing the hat in the process. If only the floor could have swallowed me up! I was not offered a job but succeeded at both Shell International and the Bank. (I refused to wear the hat at those interviews even though it was “the done thing” in those days!) Dad wanted me to join the bank but the Shell offices were right next to Waterloo Station and they had fantastic canteen facilities, a swimming pool etc. etc. so I joined their training scheme. We were sent to secretarial college in the mornings where a ghastly man called Mr. Thorrell would bully us into typing efficiently. He used to tie my thumbs together and hit me on the head if I did not keep my elbows firmly in – what difference that made to the accuracy of my typing I will never know. In the afternoons we were given a variety of clerical jobs to do in various departments. Once we had completed the six months at college we were put into typing pools where we sat, all day, bashing away at manual typewriters. Every letter had at least 5 copies and therefore if you made a mistake you had to rub out each copy and type in the correct letter. Thankfully I proved to be an excellent typist and was promoted rapidly to the Training Department. This was a vast improvement except for my boss who insisted on being called Colonel Chorley as he was an ex soldier. He had a reputation for being a mean, nasty man and lived up to it. However I loved meeting all the people from Shell offices across the globe that all came to London for training courses and it was while at Shell that I decided to travel to South Africa.

In those days South Africa wanted young white people so offered incredibly cheap fares. I originally planned to come out alone but then a friend at Shell, Val, decided to join me as she had just ended a traumatic relationship. We paid 60 pounds for the two week boat trip and were accommodated in a hotel when we first arrived. The government really wanted us to go to Johannesburg but agreed to a one week trial in Cape Town. We both had introductions to Shell in Greenmarket Square but sadly they only had one position available which Val was given because she had shorthand and I didn’t. The boat trip was wonderful and we had a fabulous time and, of course, I met Ivor at the ballroom dancing classes.

For several months before leaving from Southampton, I worked in a coffee shop close to Surbiton Station in order to earn some extra money. I was working at Shell all day and as a waitress four or five nights a week. It was exhausting as I seldom got home before midnight but it was the only way to build up some funds for the trip to SA. Not only did I earn a few pounds but we received a meal which cut down on my expenses. However it was a pathetic place for tips. Most of the patrons just walked out leaving nothing! After many years of always being in a London branch of the bank, Mum and Dad were moved around as he gained managerial status so I had, by this time, left home and was living in a bed sitter quite close to Surbiton Station. It was quite a nice large room and I shared the kitchen and bathroom with one other girl. However one had to feed the gas fire with shillings and there were many nights when I got into bed rather than spend my precious coins. It also made me appreciate just how expensive it was to become independent and to live away from home when one suddenly had to buy washing powder and toothpaste and other essentials that had always been provided before!

Val and I met Ivor and his two cabin mates early in the cruise. The one guy was a Jewish lawyer, Ivor was returning from the big “overseas experience” after graduating but it was other fellow (whose name completely escapes me!) who was the one who I fancied most. However on the first Sunday of our 14 day voyage on the Pendennis Castle, the object of my desire turned up wearing a clerical collar and turned out to be an Anglican minister. My interest waned very quickly! The daily ballroom dancing lessons were very popular amongst the younger passengers because it was a good way to meet people. Sadly for Ivor he had absolutely no rhythm at all and was probably the one and only person who has ever been thrown out of Arthur Murray Dance Studio because they said he was unteachable. I knew none of this when I partnered him but it soon became clear and everyone else avoided him so I felt obliged to remain his sole dancing partner! When we arrived in Cape Town he kept in touch and the rest, as they say, is history!

I had been seeing Ivor for several months before he introduced me to his parents. Several people I worked with were concerned about this as they warned me he must have skeletons in the closet (meaning his parents might be black or a darker shade of white than was deemed suitable!) In fact my first meeting was doomed from the start. I was invited to go with them for a weekend to see more of the country. I had to sleep over at the flat in Rusdon Park so we could leave very early the next morning. Ivor was nowhere to be seen when I arrived and knocked on the front door! I received a decidedly chilly reception from Doris who obviously did not think much of this British female who was after her precious son! I was given a bed in the lounge that night but got absolutely no sleep whatsoever because the damn antique clock chimed every fifteen minutes and the trains ran on the railway line directly outside the flat for most of the night. We eventually departed on the big trek and, of course, I completely wrecked things by falling asleep in the car instead of admiring the scenery. Ever since those childhood years when I was so car sick, I automatically fall asleep when a passenger in a car. It did not go down well!

Val and I started off in a very smart flat in Mimosa Court, Sea Point. It had no view but was clean and comfortable. However although Val earned a reasonable salary at Shell (R150 a month) I could only get a casual job with the 1820 Settler’s Association at the princely salary of R90 a month. I took it to avoid being shipped off to Johannesburg and was with them for three months or so before getting a job at The Cape Times in the classified section. This was a nightmare as I sat the whole day taking down death notices over the telephone. If we received a death notice from someone other than an official funeral parlour, we had to phone the person back to make sure it was not a prank call which frequently upset the newly bereaved family. All the funeral directors were Afrikaans and I could not understand what they were saying let alone spell the Afrikaans surnames and I hated ever second of my time there. Thankfully I found a job at Protea Assurance Company and began to earn R120 a month but the first month’s salary had to go to the agency who found me the job. In those days it was the employee who paid the commission and not the employing company.

We found we could not afford the Mimosa Court rent and then Val’s boyfriend decided he could not live without her and came to South Africa to ask her to marry him. We moved to a ghastly but larger flat in a cheaper area of Sea Point over a fish and chip shop. There were cockroaches running around and I was permanently covered in bites which the doctor put down to a flea allergy. It was only when I woke up one night itching and turned on the light that I discovered I was covered in bed bugs. We had the whole place fumigated but I never slept comfortably again!

Ivor eventually asked me to marry him but sadly I don’t remember it as a very memorable romantic occasion. (Mike did not go down on one knee either so I am doomed to never having romance in my proposals!!) When we went to tell Doris and Lambert we got a strange reception. Doris immediately said “I’ll be dead before you get down the aisle (she was always sick with something!) and Lambert said “You must be a bloody fool to get married!” A great way to make me feel wanted and appreciated! I had no family to support me with wedding plans and every suggestion I made was squashed by the Mybs. I should have been stronger because I was paying the whole bill out of the 200 pounds Dad had sent but I’m afraid I let them trample all over me. Mum and Dad did not come to the wedding, a decision Mum never got over so when Trish married in Canada several years later, they were there to see it. As it turned out I hardly knew any of the guests at our reception – there were a few work mates of mine but otherwise they were distant Myb relations and most of them I never met again! I was living with Jill and Derry Fitnum for three months before the wedding because Val and John had returned to the UK. Mickie Stekhoven was to have been best man and Derry was to have given me away. However Mickie went down with jaundice just before the wedding and everything had to change. Dear tactful Penny came round the night before and informed me that “Mickie says you’re nothing to look at but will be a good wife for Ivor”!!! What a way to make a girl feel special!

We spent the first night of our honeymoon at Houw Hoek Inn near Hermanus and then went on to the Wilderness where I remember confetti falling out of my pockets when I jumped on a trampoline. We then went on and spent two nights with Don and Rosemary Zillen and their brand new baby Di, on the Orange River Dam where Don was working. Rosemary was up most of the night with Di who was less than six weeks old, and I was up most of the night vomiting. By the time we had driven back to Cape Town I was seriously ill and could hardly walk. It turned out I had caught Mickie’s jaundice. I could not return to work for several weeks and I have to say that those first few months of marriage were a nightmare. I felt dreadful but Doris would continuously ask me if I was making Ivor proper meals. I could hardly stagger out of bed but yes, I did somehow manage to give him a cooked dinner every night. Why she could not have taken over I do not know!

We were married in August 1969 but our main honeymoon was to be a trip to the UK for Christmas so that Ivor could meet all the family. It was a bit late for him to change his mind but in any case everyone made him feel welcome (lucky chap!!) We went over by sea and flew back and by then I was pregnant with Graeme who was conceived in England. I worked until I was 7 months pregnant which, in those days, was when you had to stop working, but I hated being in the flat all day with no company and my boss was happy to take me back on a day to day basis. The fashion was mini skirts and I had a very large belly so he would leave the office when it came time for me to do the filing – I think the sight was just too much for him! I eventually stopped working the day before Graeme was born.

We originally lived in a flat at Devonshire Hill which was very small but Ivor had his work table on one side of the bed and I had my sewing machine on the other side and we would work amicably together on our hobbies. He was always building a new steam train but in those days they were tiny models that ran on methylated spirits not coal. We managed to get a larger flat at Dennekamp which we moved into just before Graeme was born. We had no washing machine, I could not drive and there were no other children anywhere to be seen! Officially one could not ban people with children from renting but that is what happened. However no-one had realised I was pregnant when we first saw the flat.

Graeme was born on the 29th September 1970 and I was the proudest mother and he was the best looking baby in the ward (by far!) There was another girl in the labour ward with me and we were neck and neck until she developed complications and her little boy, Nicholas, was eventually delivered with a totally misshapen head and very badly bruised from all the instruments. Graeme, in comparison, looked like a caesarean baby with a perfectly shaped head, and perfect skin. Lambert, who was not a man for compliments and never gave me the impression he thought much of me, was enraptured and visited every single day I was in the hospital. I think producing Graeme and Jo were the only things I ever did right in his eyes!

Lambert came to visit on an almost daily basis and certainly, once I was pregnant again with Jo, he would come and take Graeme down to Muizenberg to walk on the beach. I took Graeme to England when he was 6 months old to visit my folks. Mum had been very ill but having us around cheered her no end. Ivor missed us so much that he flew to Johannesburg to meet us when we came home! Graeme was miserable the whole flight home and cried and cried. However we landed to find he had cut three teeth during those 12 hours so had a justifiable reason for being such a horror!

Mum came out to look after Graeme when Jo was due. In those days younger children were not allowed in the nursing home so mothers disappeared for a week and then arrived back with another baby. Graeme was always incredibly gentle with Jo but caused havoc every time I fed her and once managed to empty an entire box of washing powder all around the flat while I was busy with her. Jo was far more battered and bruised but the doctor immediately said “this one can only get better” and he was right and within a few weeks my little girl was also beautiful with a mop of dark hair. I was thrilled with my pigeon pair.

Life in the flat with two children was anything but fun. I could drive by this time so tried to go out nearly every afternoon to friends with a garden. Therefore moving into Bertram Crescent was fantastic. We only saw the house once before moving and I stood and wept when we finally got occupation because it was filthy and the previous owners had literally hundreds of pictures so there were nails everywhere and marks all over the walls. However the garden made up for it and the kids finally had somewhere to play and they could make a noise.

I enjoyed the years that Jo and Graeme were at nursery school and school and helped out with fund raising, tuck shop duties and I spent many hours making things for the annual fete at Oakhurst. The only traumatic time was when Jo was ill and spent a month in hospital with her legs in traction. Mothers could not stay with their children and visiting hours had to be strictly adhered to and I would leave the ward twice a day and weep outside. She was so incredibly brave and certainly learnt to stand up for herself and arrived home a much more determined little girl who no longer allowed her big brother to make all the decisions!

Most weekends were spent at the Model Engineering Club where we had many braais and Jo and Graeme rode on the steam trains. Ivor had progressed to large trains once we moved into the house and his workshop became bigger and bigger and the playroom was taken over by heavy industrial machinery!

I also have fond memories of our annual holiday to Eight Bells and how the kids loved the pony rides and going on the cart. One year poor Jo had to go with a broken collar bone. She was still all strapped up and in a lot of pain so could not participate in many of the activities but she found a kitten and fell in love so we had to bring Tinkerbell home. Oh the sadness when she was run over and the other awful day (our wedding anniversary) when we found Tina had terrified the guinea pigs and they had all died of shock!

At least once every year Ivor and Lambert would take Graeme on a camping trip near Hermanus where Graeme caught his first fish. Jo always felt very left out as she was never included in these boys’ outings. However she was allowed to go to the Marine Hotel, with Lambert and Doris, where they were spoilt rotten by everyone. Oh how I worried about Lambert’s driving and I was always so relieved to see them safely home again! The last holiday we took as a family was to Mauritius. The hotel was not a good choice for teenagers but I still think we had a good time except for the special night boat trip on Graeme’s 18th birthday when he spent the whole evening getting greener and then being sick. Not what we had intended at all!! We also had some great breaks with the Rusconi’s. Pringle Bay was one such place where the children slept up in the attic with all the kids and the dog drank out of the toilet so we had to flush the loo every time someone used it, day and night! I think the dog was Helga in those days and she would rush from one child to another on the beach trying to keep watch over all of them.

I managed to find a part time job in the physiotherapy department at UCT when Jo started in Grade 1 at school (today’s Grade 3). I enjoyed having some money of my own and decided to try and study bookkeeping through correspondence course. What a disaster. I could not understand anything in the manuals and there was no-one to ask so soon gave up. However I then found a local college where there was hand’s on tuition and there I thrived, completing the year long course in 3 months. I joined Klockner-Moeller as soon as I had qualified and remained there for almost 14 years.

Obviously Mum and Dad’s bi annual holiday visits were a highlight of our lives so their arrival in South Africa, as permanent residents, caused great excitement and they settled very quickly. Dad played bowls as often as he could and soon became involved in an annual fund raising event for the club which he organised for many years. Mum found it more difficult to settle but she loved having the family so close by and Graeme and Jo would pop in to visit which made it all worth while. Sunday lunches were regular occurrences – the best roast potatoes and the worst lumpy custard but we all have fond memories of it!

It was a very difficult time when Doris and Lambert had to go into residential care as they were totally unable to care for themselves. After Doris died we tried having Lambert live with us with a nurse aide to assist but it was a disaster and he had to go back to the nursing home. He died within 3 months and soon afterwards Ivor decided to retire having hated his job from the earliest days. Unfortunately we had the trauma of the “court case” when Aunt Louie sued Ivor and the children for all the money we owned in the world and then much more for something she said Lambert had done illegally when he managed her money. I can still remember when the summons was delivered by hand. It came very late at night and my heart literally dropped into my stomach when the details were read out and we realised the implications. Ivor never got over it and the next few years were unbelievably stressful and tense.

Graeme and Jo grew up and Graeme went to university and Jo went travelling overseas. How I wept for three solid days when she left. I lived for the postman and rushed out every day in the hope that there would be a letter. I would then type them out and circulate copies to anyone who was interested. How must easier it is today with the internet and skype but then it was really hard to have one’s precious child go off into the unknown.

Almost immediately after Jo left, Ivor and I went on a steam train trip up the Garden Route and also had a wonderful holiday in the Transvaal which included a visit to Sun City and a trip on the Blue Train. Another holiday which remains clear in my memory bank was the 6 week trip from England and through Europe in a motorised home with Jocelyn and Hugo. It started badly when we discovered Ivor’s driving licence had been left behind so he could not share in the driving and then I ended up in hospital in Spain having suffered a massive haemorrhage. I was seriously ill and really only wanted to come home but we had to carry on. It was definitely not the best holiday of our lives for more than one reason!

Other special holidays were to Canada. Mum and I went together on one occasion and then I went again and Trish and I went on a two week cruise to Alaska. The picture perfect blue skies and crystal clear waters were nowhere to be seen but we had a wonderful time despite the rain and I particularly treasure one photo of Trish and I in plastic rain hoods as we went exploring. How our daughters would have hated our appearance and would definitely have disowned us both!

Barbara and I had a great holiday in Greece, there was a trip to Namibia with Wilga and Norman and, of course, Mike and I have had some wonderful holidays too to Switzerland, Croatia etc. as well as special times in England, especially in Cambridge when Graeme was living there, Australia and New Zealand..

Ivor and I bought a flat at Melkboss and had great fun getting all the furnishings etc. and we spent some very happy weekends there. Ivor would go down on a Friday morning and I would join him when I finished work and we would then return home on a Monday. Meg, our dog adored chasing the birds on the beach and would return utterly exhausted after racing up and down for hours on end.

I prefer not to remember the years when Mum’s health deteriorated and then Dad had to join her in frail care. I prefer to remember the vibrant people they were and the swims we had at Muizenberg and the fun at Boulders Beach when they came over on holidays before moving here permanently. Dad embarrassed me to the day he died with his constant flirting and as a teenager I wanted to crawl into a corner and pretend he was nothing to do with me but my friends all remember him with such affection and loved him making cheeky remarks so obviously I was the one with the problem and not Dad!

The year Ivor died is also one I prefer not to reflect on. I’d rather remember the good times we had and the joy Graeme and Joanne brought to our lives. How Ivor would have loved spending time with Sammy and Matthew and I am sure they would have loved going to the model engineering club to ride on the trains as much as Graeme and Joanne did. Thankfully I now have Mike in my life. I can still remember meeting him for the first time almost 40 years ago when he arrived with Heather and Kim at our flat in Wynberg. I was still breastfeeding so Graeme could not have been more than 6 weeks old. Heather and I were pregnant together a year later but sadly her baby was still born and it must have been devastating for her when all her friends produced healthy infants.

There are so many other memories- Joanne and Antony’s wedding only a year after Ivor died. Dad was so proud to walk her down the aisle and we all sat praying he would not fall flat on his face as his balance was very poor. Next was Graeme and Ally’s wedding and then the 8th February 2002 when I married Mike. Mum was already very frail but to see her face when we walked in was unbelievably special and poor Jo Tyers had to pinch herself to stop herself crying. It’s hardly done for the vicar to weep during the service! Her arm was black and blue for days afterwards!

And then my beloved Samantha was born followed by Matthew. What joy and delight they have brought to our lives. Hopefully there will be many more years left to create more memories that can be added to this.


Birth certificate


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